Walking (slowly) in the Light

Posted on August 13, 2011 by a moment with god — 2 Comments

Morning in Kapiolani Park looking at Diamond Head

Good Morning, God!

Yesterday I intended to jog around Kapiolani Park. I thought that after my 3.1 mile “Mango Days 5K” race on Sunday it would be doable.

Not so, God. Although I did jog for a half-mile or so, it was a reminder that getting back into condition takes time. Rebuilding my Body will take time and slow, loving steps. And rest.

And, it also makes me more thankful for Sunday’s 5K when I DID run the whole way.

bromeliads in the sunlight

Meanwhile, God, I had no trouble yesterday taking photos while I walked around the park. We live in such a Beautiful World! And for me it is the LIGHT that brings the most joy. Diamond Head was irresistible as a photo subject, but so were these bromeliads, which look pretty shaggy when the light is not pouring through them.

Ah, that we should let Your Light pour through us, God. Hmmm. Yes, I guess that takes training and time, too. And lots of intention.

Both my Body and my Spirit feel as if they have overdone and need rebuilding and renewing.

Retiring is essential to having the time and space to do the “renewing work” of letting go and moving on. But, at the same time, it is part of the work. Please, God, help me rebuild my Body, Spirit, and Sense of Identity.

Tagged with: Diamond Head, identity, Kapiolani Park, letting the Light shine through, our Sense of Self, retiring as rebuilding
Posted in a prayer for healing, a series of molts and upgrades, accepting my need for help, being repotted, Changing, exercising

Learning from Feedback — Am I Willing?

Posted on August 12, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

The Blue Angels: Photo by Rob Vogelaar

Good Morning, God!

How do these pilots DO IT? How can they fly that close and that fast? No room for error there! Our Bodies and Minds have incredible abilities, God!

Yesterday in Discover magazine I read an article that was really an excerpt from the book, Incognito: The Secret Lives of the Brain by David Eagleman. The article touched on how our Bodies can learn to do things without our Minds having any idea HOW we do them. For example, in WW II there were people in Britain who could instantly tell a returning English plane from an attacking German plane. A very useful gift. They “just knew.” They couldn’t explain HOW they knew. If you don’t know how you know . . . then how do you teach others “how to do it?”

What Plane Spotters did was have an apprentice with them who would guess which plane it was. Then the Spotter would immediately tell the apprentice if they were right or wrong. It worked. The apprentice learned how to tell one plane from another. Their Bodies learned — without any apparent help from their minds.

I suppose that must be how the Blue Angel pilots become so skilled. I guess flight simulators help them “learn” from mistakes? I know we’re designed to learn from our mistakes, God. But, unlike the apprentice plane spotters, I am rarely aware of that instant corrective feedback.

You say, I COULD BE . . . but I turned it OFF? You would be willing to make that feedback available and even make it a little louder? Sheesh! I bet You are RIGHT! I bet You ARE willing to give me that feedback. Like after I take a bite? Or BEFORE I ORDER? Sigh. OK, God! Let’s turn that “app” back on.

Tagged with: being willing to learn, Blue Angels, feedback, Incognito, Incognito: the Secret Lives of the Brain, leaning by feedback, our Bodies learn
Posted in choices, Feedback, learning, Rethinking

Clouds in the Sky: Seeing things in Context

Posted on August 11, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

fascinating clouds over Hawaii Kai

Good Morning, God!

Yesterday was a bumper day for photos! I was at the Ala Moana Shopping Center taking photos in Neiman Marcus and the Apple Store. Then in the evening my brother sent me a great photo of four baby finches with their mouths WIDE open. Their 10th finch nest of the season!

But this is the one I wanted to share — unusual clouds over Hawaii Kai. Actually, I saw them as I got off the freeway but I didn’t hit a red light until Hawaii Kai.

I love clouds, God, and we have such beautiful clouds in Hawaii. Big white, puffy ones that rise up over the mountains — cumulus clouds — are what I usually see. But every once in a while we get something unusual. A Treat. I suppose, God, that when I say I love clouds I really mean I love the Sky and the Clouds.

Because I really don’t like it when I cannot see the sky. I’m thinking of the low grey clouds that cover the sky completely — the June Gloom of Coastal California. Or the low thick dark clouds of the Northwest that come and sit on top of everything.

So, then, it isn’t just the clouds — it is the clouds in the context of the sky — that I love. Hmmm. I suppose, God, that there is a lot of that type of confusion in my mind. I’m thinking now of ice cream bars which are a special “comfort” food for me. It isn’t really because of the vanilla ice cream and the chocolate coating. It is more that they bring back memories of my childhood visiting my grandparents and waiting for the ice cream truck.

So, maybe it’s the context that determines the Value? Thank You, God for BEING OUR CONTEXT!

Posted in Enjoyment, JOY, reframing, seeing

Noticing a SLOWING DOWN into Relaxation

Posted on August 10, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Plants growing (slowly) outside our front door

Good Morning, God!

Last night at dinner, I suddenly became aware of eating more slowly. I could FEEL a SLOWNESS settling around me and in me. I was sort of startled, God. And then I realized I didn’t need to rush. I had enough time to do what needed to be done.

I still feel that way. It feels very, very good, God! And now I am understanding how hard it was for my Body to be on Overload. Part of me wants to cry out — WHY DIDN’T SOMEONE TELL ME! But, of course, it wasn’t that I didn’t KNOW THAT. It was that I HADN’T FELT IT!

Sigh. I am beginning to think that head knowledge is appallingly useless, God. If we don’t feel a fact in our Gut and in our Bones, then we don’t know it at all.

All of which makes me wonder about “education” and “rational arguments” and other things that don’t seem to matter very much at all. Of course, I LOVE learning. I love pondering problems. But, there is a lot to be said for EXPERIENCE!

I have often thought, God, that a well-run company is one that listens to the people fielding customer complaints. Or better yet, gets the Designers, Funders and Users together to hear one another. That reminds me of the Victim/Offender Reconciliation Program that Oregon ran some years ago.

Having the Offenders HEAR the victim speak about how they felt, how their lives had been damaged– that reached past the Head and into the Heart! That changed the Offenders. And being Heard helped the Victim to forgive and release the Offender.

Hmmm. Forgiving and Releasing and Going Slow. Good words, God!

Tagged with: forgiving and releasing, having enough time, the joy of going slow
Posted in Forgiving, Thinking and Feeling, time

Sitting by Still Waters

Posted on August 9, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Earth, Sky and Sea: breakfast at the Marina

Good Morning, God!

I wish I could get Kit to go with me and have breakfast on the Marina. It’s only $2.99 so perhaps I could entice him. (Kit is very generous, God, but he is a practical Scot, so value matters to him.) I sat and pondered that and then I just went and asked him and he said yes! (He did ask, though, “Does that include the coffee?)

Hmmm. I wonder how many things don’t happen because people don’t ask? I wonder how many opportunities go unnoticed . . . because they weren’t asked for.

Perhaps this “failure to ask” is related to “a tendency to blame others?” Too often, God, we fail to take personal responsibility. Sigh. It seems to me, God, that personal responsibility is a lot trickier than I used to think.

I am working at “taking care of myself” by which I mean getting enough sleep, taking my vitamins, exercising, praying, and spending time cleaning up after myself. Yes, I am still leaving a trail of detritus (read trash).

To care for myself in those ways I will have to resist running off to help others — resist helping with worthy things. This is not easy for me, God.

But, I am beginning to see that body fat and paper piles are different forms of the same thing. Both of them result from Misallocated Energy. Hmmm. Maybe that is why You tell us to BLESS, BLESS and DO NOT CURSE. Cursing is definitely a misallocation of energy. So is blaming, fault finding and demonizing others.

Praying for those we disagree with isn’t easy . . . but it is a very wise allocation of energy. Praying for them to be filled with Your Light and Love — brings us out of the Shadows and closer to Your Light and Love. . . . and that is the True Source of our energy. Thank You, God!

Tagged with: blessing and not cursing, fat cells and paper piles, personal responsibility, wise allocation of energy
Posted in asking for help for myself, power and peace and gentleness, Prayer, Praying for our enemies, simple joys of daily life

A Special Thank You at the 2011 Mango Days Fun Run

Posted on August 8, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Tina, the Bagpiper at the Mango Days Fun Run

Good Morning, God!

Yesterday was the 9th running of the Mango Days Fun Run — a 5k fund raiser for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. Tina has played the bagpipes at all 9 runs and I have always enjoyed her playing and looked forward to hearing her during the races.

But yesterday was the first time I really understood just how helpful the pipes are. As I was puffing toward the finish line but still too far away to see anything, I HEARD the faint sounds of her piping. Oh JOY! I focused on the music — getting closer and closer — it really helped pull me in.

I told Tina just how helpful her piping was and she said she had the same experience when she was running a 10k. We agreed that if you haven’t experienced being exhausted — and then hearing the pipes playing at the finish — you just can’t understand their power to pull.

I am feeling very thankful to Tina, God. And, I am especially thankful for Your Help that made it possible for me to “run” the entire 3.1 miles without walking! It was only last week that I was able to walk two miles.

Actually I just feel all around THANKFUL! Thankful to The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society organizers, all the volunteer workers, Connie, our wonderful MC; Chris the super pre-race MC; all the dear friends who came out and walked or ran — and all the people who came to participate. Running so there will be more survivors.

Posted in appreciation, gratitude, thankfulness

Off to the Mango Day’s Fun Run

Posted on August 7, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Photo of a night heron that I took last year -- while jogging the run

Good Morning, God!

In just a few minutes I shall be OFF to go to Patty’s Mango Days Fun Run. It starts at 6:30 but Kit will want me there earlier. I don’t blame him. Last year I forgot to pick up my personal timing chip. That caused a smallish problem.

Yesterday, God, for the first time since mid June I felt like I might actually be able to run. Maybe not the whole way, because I haven’t run since April, when my three Mainland trips began.

In fact, yesterday I bustled around cleaning and working up a sweat. It felt really good. I suspect, God, that the “retirement dinner” being over has something to do with how good I feel. Because I am still mostly oblivious to my feelings, I don’t know quite how it worked, God. But, it did feel that a lot of energy was “released” in me yesterday. What was the energy being used for before that? Was it being used to process my feelings? — or to suppress them? — or to suppress them until they were processed? I lean toward the latter, myself.

Back to the RUN. As You can tell by the photo of the night heron that I took last year while running I will take pictures before, after and during my run. Last year I jogged the whole way — except for taking photos. This year it may well be more photos and less jogging. But, I really want to please Kit — and Patty, too. In fact, mostly I want to please Patty. So, I’d appreciate any help You might want to give me, God. Please, help us all!

Tagged with: The Mango Day's Fun Run, transitions, wanting to make my daughter proud
Posted in daughters, Energy, Feeling our feelings

Transitions — Portals — and a Slower Kind of Useful

Posted on August 6, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

walking around Kapiolani Park

Good Morning, God!

Aaaah! A wonderful Surprise Retirement dinner last night! A room filled with friends saying good-bye. A marvelous memory to close a long and fruitful second career. Thank You, God!

I chose this photo to evoke the sense of going on through a “portal” — even as the path continues to wind around.

And last night’s dinner was a “portal” of sorts celebrating the five of us retiring from the committee. I had 14 wonderful years of sort of “being in charge” of a lovely library . . . working with the BEST of PEOPLE. And aren’t book lovers the very best of people, God?

What a privilege it has been to work with so many dearly beloved friends and companions on all the voluminous tasks involved in keeping a library humming along. Many of those friends have moved on to be with You, God. I hope You have “useful things” for them to be working on Up There.

For I do believe that “being useful” is one of the chief joys of life. Life here and Life in the Hereafter.

When I was young — and maybe even when I was old, too — I thought being useful meant being busy. But, now I know (when it doesn’t slip my mind) that useful is very often best done slowly. It takes time to hear people into speaking from their hearts. It can’t be hurried or rushed. It takes time to build relationships — walking together — hearing and being heard as we walk along.

Thank You, God, for hearing me — hearing us — for helping with a word or insight, now and then. Thank You for the Path of Life Going On . . . for New Turns and New Directions. For the Future AND the Past, Thank YOU!

Tagged with: gratitude, the importance of slow, the joy of being useful, transitions
Posted in gratitude, thankfulness

Good People and Children Who Need Hugs, and MORE

Posted on August 5, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

61 Hug me dolls going to the Children's Justice Center

Good Morning, God!

Imagine my surprise passing by a normally empty couch at Arcadia and seeing 61 Hug Me dolls. I stopped and asked the lovely woman standing by them, WHAT WERE THEY? She said they were going to the Children’s Justice Center of Oahu — which is part of the Family Court. She had made the patterns and then enlisted other Arcadians to join her in stitching up the dolls. A labor of love — a loving labor.

Apparently, the police keep them to give to scared and traumatized little children who may be at the scene of a crime or involved in a case of suspected abuse. Child Protective Services may also give them to a child who is being “interviewed.”

Even now, God, I can feel my blood run cold as I think of what some children go through. I can’t help but feel that abuse of children is at the root of many, many problems in our society.

I remember a friend who taught prisoners about child development and parenting — actually, I think it included relationships and other essential information. She said that the men all asked if there could be a class for their girl friends and wives. After they learned the concepts, they wanted to share. Their partners, without the class, didn’t have the conceptual building blocks to understand.

There are a lot of good people in this world, God. I am sure many more people are doing good things than doing bad things. But, it seems to me that the “playing field” doesn’t even begin to be “level.” I am not offering solutions, God. I am just bringing this to Your Attention.

Posted in a new view of Commons, healing, Hearts, LOVE, Our Extended Family - all creatures great and small

Looking Back Three Months and Feeling Thankful

Posted on August 4, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

A Panoramic Photo of the Centering Prayer Room at St. Benedict's Retreat Center

Good Morning, God!

I’ve been trying to tell folks how it is that I feel so much LIGHTER since I have (mostly) retired. In truth, God, I am not yet THAT blessed with “free time” as there are a few more training sessions to do. But, I still feel much lighter. In fact, I am surprised at what a difference just Shedding Responsibility makes! Before, I felt the weight of all the things that needed to be done — if not by me — then at least with me.

As I observed years ago, God, it isn’t the work we do that makes us tired. It is the work we don’t do that sits on top of us — pressing down and exhausting us.

So, WHY did it take SO LONG for me to realize I was “Too Busy?” It wasn’t that family and friends didn’t point that reality out to me. They did. And blessings on them, God. But, there were so many pluses to working — good friends, duty, loyalty, habit . . . and yes, I confess, an “enhanced sense of identity.” And those pluses kept me clinging and holding on. Hmmm. Now that I look back, I can see that there were innumerable emotional tentacles holding me fast.

For me to make this SHIFT it took a Ten Day Silent Retreat at St. Benedict’s Retreat Center. Sitting in Silence before You 3 times a day — refraining from talking for much of the day — disconnection from the internet — all this helped to loosen my addition to busy. The “enforced” relaxation helped me OPEN my Hands and Heart . . .opening to You and Your Small Quiet Voice of Wisdom. Thank You, God! THANK YOU!

Now, God, please help me Value Slow!

Tagged with: addiction to busy
Posted in an invitation to abundant life, busy, Changing, Choosing to respond, Work