A gentle rain on the mountains

Posted on August 15, 2026 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Good Evening, God

How good it is to look up while having dinner and then go take a photo. There was a rainbow just a bit earlier. But rain is enough. These are the Santa Catalina mountains and there appear to be four ranges. Normally, they appear as one. But the rain gives depth to them.

I am grateful. Being close to family is wonderful — especially when I am invited to join them for dinner — or ride with them to church. Hanging out — or as we say, just babbling away. A lovely flow of words bubbling up and being shared.

Our beloved Patty took as her “motto” during her time with cancer — Carpe Diem! Seize the Day. And she did. Kit captured her poems and drawing and letters to a best friend in her book, Mango Days. It went through three printings and we are now down to our last 50 copies. Aaaah. That book meant so much to Kit! And to me too, but he was the one who did the work of compiling her words. It was a true labor of love!

And Seizing the Day is a wonderful way to live. But, as I embark on reconstructing my life after Kit’s passing at the end of 2024 — my motto is Seize the Moment. Actually, it is EMBRACE this moment — as it is. Embrace is just the right word. It is a gentle word. A word used by those of us who know we are to pass on — but have not receive a “notice” to that effect.

Tagged with: Carpe Diem, Embracing this moment as it is, perspective
Posted in LOVE, setting my life in context, simple joys of daily life, The daily details of love, The Endless Flow of God's Love, water and love

Designed to GROW — Designed to HEAL

Posted on August 14, 2026 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Good Evening, God,

Just a few weeks ago, Suz sent me a lovely photo of pomegranates. The were growing in the UCLA Botanical Garden. Talk about being well cared for! This was growing on a tree in a very small plot in downtown Tucson. It looked to be unwatered and generally uncared for, But here is this lovely fruit. I suspect that You have been helping! Sending rain — sending sunlight.

And it brought to my mind the Mitford series. Ostensibly it is about Father Tim, an Episcopal priest. But the series follows the abandoned and abused children of the Barlow family — as You reach out to pull them into Your Love. Love is healing. It seems having even just one person who cares about you — can work Your healing magic. Not quickly. Not without suffering. But, we are all designed to “recover”.

I am just finishing book 14 To Be Where We You Are. And it is a privilege to be able to feel with so many of my fellow human beings as they feel. Somehow that FEELING is the essence of being human . . . being alive. Fiction? Oh yes! But it moves my heart — and my heart rejoices.

Because it affirms a core truth. We can all grow. And if we seek Your Help we can all heal. . . inside. . . where it counts the most.

Tagged with: Being Heard, God LOVES us, God wants to help us
Posted in connecting, growing toward up, Growth Opportunities, healing, the Growth Mindset

Focusing on Beauty

Posted on August 13, 2026 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Good Evening, God

Now that it has come to me that I have a free hand to DESIGN my life — within a variety of limitation — I have begun “paying attention.” The first thing I noticed was the joy of “noticing”. This image is of a carving of three ducks going over a bridge. Kit’s grandmother brought it back from China in 1930. She had flown from Connecticut to Honolulu for her daughter’s wedding and figured she might as well keep going. Thus the carving is, alas, in ivory.

Below the ducks is a piece of quartz with pyrite enmeshed in it. A glorious combination! One that Suzanne found and gave to me.

Truly, it is hard to beat the beauty that Mother Nature presents to us. Sunrises, sunsets . . . even the weeds are so often a marvelous yellow. It is the COLOR that I cherish — not so much the “value”. For example, this morning I was able to put on a monochromatic outfit. Cobalt sweater and deep blue pants that were close enough to make me happy. It took me a while to notice how much I enjoyed — preferred even — this singleness of color.

So this is one example of what I am thinking about when I talk of Designing My Life. No Bucket List. Just a gathering awareness of what delights me. On to other small joys, tomorrow.

Tagged with: choosing what I focus on, Designing my life, Practicing appreciation
Posted in connecting

Becoming Myself –Seeing Myself As A Designer

Posted on August 12, 2026 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Good Evening, God

I must say, I miss my morning walks. We have entered the season to No’See”‘Ems –biting midges. They have not just driven me indoors but have had me drop the temperature down to 65. Ah! Winter in the desert! But, I have not been bitten since that DROP.

Yes! The female midges need blood in order to reproduce. I do have a certain sympathy for them. It is just that their bites LAST! A mosquito bite will swell up and itch — but only for 15-20 minutes. While a midge bite takes days to stop paining me. I have learned that soaking the wounds in hydrogen peroxide does help — as do ice packs. So, I am not a complete victim. But I am now realizing that I am acting like one. Hmm.

So on to another topic:
Debbie Millman made the case against students using A.I.: “Language is not merely how we express ourselves; it is one of the ways we become ourselves. We write in order to find out what we think, we revise in order to discover whether or not we believe it, and we speak, stumble, clarify, retract and try again and again in order to understand the space between ideas and truth.”

My brother sent that to me and I love it. I do enjoy writing. I had only thought of it as a way for expressing myself. But, perhaps

it is also a way of finding out what I think. I notice this more while I am talking than while I am writing. Talking with someone who wants to truly “hear” me — connects with a part of me that needs to be heard in order to Speak. Speak so that I am able to crystalize and give words to thought that were inchoate before.

Just the other day I heard myself say: Living Alone is an Art Form. I was delighted! Because I do believed that. But I had never consciously thought it! Art — creating beauty in an incredible number of ways and attitudes. For me part of that is a mindful awareness of Selecting what I See and Focus on. Each Day a mosaic of attentions.

As I ponder this idea — I am overcome with a desire to become a more artful designer. Unlike almost any other time in my life I am free. Very few obligations. An open canvas awaits. What awesome opportunities have yet to be explored.

Tagged with: Art, Becoming myself, life, Love, Opportunities, writing
Posted in Becoming FRESH from God's Hand, becoming the change I wish to see, Growth Opportunities

Understanding Surrender in Our Spiritual Journey

Posted on August 11, 2026 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Good Morning, GOD

Just yesterday my forever friend (and spiritual director) was talking about how her current word was SURRENDER.
I said, wouldn’t Humility do? But, she was RIGHT.

How did this understanding strike? This morning I was trying to get water to go into a bag through a tube — part of which was higher than the incoming water. And as I was failing . . .! DUH! IT HIT ME! When we come to YOU, GOD, we must be in the correct relationship. LOWER! Nothing will “go in” if we do not see ourselves as LOWER.

And suddenly I understood those old writers who referred to themselves as Worms! YIKES!!! And how the those with Moses in the Wilderness feared they would DIE even to be near You. They were in AWE of Your Majesty! They got the Right Relationship.

So? How can I GET this proper relationship and still sit here believing I can “chat” with You?
JESUS! That is HOW!!!

Jesus coming to somehow SHOW us You as ABBA / Daddy — LOVING PARENT.
HOW UTTERLY AMAZING!

Yet, this is how I can be so endless optimistic as to want to reframe Worm as Caterpillar. And this caterpillar AWARENESS is a double image. For I am so tiny. . . . Yet, You have sent Jesus — Come as the Christ — and promising to never to leave us through the Holy Spirit!!! The Holy Spirit — the Helper, The Comforter, the Paraclete.

And when I heard Alfred P. Doolittle in My Fair Lady say to the professor
I am WILLING to help you . . .
I am WANTING to help you
I am WAITING to help you

I thought THAT IS HOW THE HOLY SPIRIT FEELS ABOUT EACH OF US!!!!

Tagged with: humility, Jesus, being loved, surrender, The Holy Spirit
Posted in a matter of scale, a series of molts and upgrades, connecting, surrender, Understanding

Reframing — Better Understanding the Fruit of the Spirit

Posted on August 10, 2026 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Good Day, God

I have always loved the description of the fruit of the Spirit found in Galatians 5:22-23 : But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Patience wasn’t too hard. But both that one and Self-Control brought to my mind — me with a bit in my mouth and a saddle and bridle on me. An image of me being forcible controlled. My whole being resisted that image of control. Then, in the months before Kit slipped and broke his leg — the Spirit started a slow change in me. Whenever we would go out — Kit would sit at the bottom of our stairs and put on his shoes. I would stand at the landing and try to be patient. Or at least I would try not to broadcast unspoken impatience.

But, one day — it came to me that instead of resisting the negative — I could flip it and focus on a positive. What came to my mind was to BLESS Kit. As in the verse “Bless bless and do not curse” Blessing is a very indeterminate verb in my mind. But, I knew it was positive. Bless –to wish good things. Bless — to enfold in love. Bless — ask for a healing anointing. It made the wait time shrink way way down.

Then just a few weeks ago I came across this verse in the Message and guess what had happened to Patience and Self Control?
They had been reframed as Able to marshal and direct our energies wisely! What had before been a Controlling and Limiting negative — had become an ability greatly to be wished for!

Dearest Sandy suggested I share all two verses from the Message: “But what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.

Especially now, when energy is not as abundant as it once was. How I long to be able to marshal and direct it wisely! In fact, now when I had a task looming ahead of me, I stop and ask You, PLEASE HELP ME TO GATHER AND FOCUS MY ENERGY ON THIS TASK WISELY. And, I will just BEGIN.

I will not say it is effortless. But it feels God, as if we are walking together peacefully. More concerned with going in a wise direction than trying to just GET IT DONE. There is a freedom in this reframe. And I am very thankful.

Tagged with: Bless BLESS and do not curse, Faith, god, marshal and direct our energies wisely
Posted in Blessing, connecting, Energy, Fruit of the Spirit, JOY, kindness, LOVE, Lovingkindness, Patience, Peace, pruned for fruitfulness, The daily details of love

A Burst of Color — and Bursts of Reality

Posted on August 9, 2026 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Good Day, God,

July 24th I was backing my car out of the carport and SLAMMED ON MY BRAKES!!! What WAS that behind me? It was a pair of Texas Sage bushes that had BLOSSOMED over night. A day or maybe two before they were in their regular grey green leaves. Then with a little rain …BOOM!!! or BLOOM!

Other plants did this too and it was JOY!!! Purple EVERYWHERE. We are now well into August and all is grey green again. Petals piled up on the curbs and it was wonderful. But, to be ALL BLOOM takes a lot of water/energy. And, it does for us humans too. I wonder why we don’t see “depression” in terms of “energy available”. Because that is TOO SIMPLE. Yes! Of course, but it is part of it.

I am loving this decade! Reality is conspiring to help me see myself…..under all my illusions and aspirations. It is not easy — these ongoing adjustments. Welcoming the bursts and blows — takes me a day or more. But, I do desire my healing! And seeing realty as more friend than foe, helps me resist the “punishment” mindset.

As I consider this process — as much as an “intuitive” can consider — I can see the foundation is believing in YOU as a LOVING CREATOR — wanting to “help” me grow and expand. Just not according to my preconceived notions!!! Thank You for helping me see KEY moments in which I choose poorly. Sheesh! Giving up Superman’s FASTER THAN A SPEEDING BULLET is still ongoing. As is letting go of my fear of becoming like my Aunt Nettie….a super secretary! But, alas, still embracing her as an example of the family’s horror of “Asking for Help”.

Thank goodness (and Your nudging!) for my brother and our weekly phone calls. The JOY of sharing!

Tagged with: Accepting being loved!, Embracing the hards, Joy, life, Love, The long journey of life, welcoming the Holy Spirit, writing
Posted in asking for help for myself, clapping our hands in joy, connecting, developing helpful definitions of love, Enjoyment, growing toward up, Help me to see, Helpful Hards, JOY, LOVE, reality, seeing, simple joys of daily life, the cold snow of reality, the joy of sharing, water and love

July 22, Celebrating Kit’s Birthday and Pondering my Life Without him

Posted on July 23, 2026 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Good Afternoon God,

Time to reflect . . . time to give thanks . . . time to celebrate BEING here NOW. Here on Kit’s birthday. My grandson Ian ordered Birthday Pancakes when we went out for breakfast this morning. He is just back from a week in LA with the Miracle Project and his Auntie Suz. And his folks got back this morning from a super vacation in Hawaii. All of Sandy’s family — Mark too — Being in the same city is such a blessing. Daughter Suzanne connects via phone.

Kit and I arrived two years ago this month — on July 13th. It took around a month for what little furniture we brought to arrive. So we lived SIMPLY and mostly CLUTTER FREE. A new bed and old (Kit’s aunt’s dishes) had arrived before us . . . plus sheets. The POD holding our worldly goods arrived while Kit and I plus Sandy and Suz were at my brother’s wife’s Celebration of Life in Costa Mesa California. Mark (younger grandson) did a masterful job of overseeing the unpacking and positioning of our possessions and even arranging the books in the bookcases!!! Alas, I was too exhausted to properly appreciate his loving help.

But, that sort of narrative could go on forever! The reason I took the photo was to mark how the plants marked my restabilizing. And, if there is ONE WORD to describe such horrendous LOSS — it is DESTABILIZING!!!

Sandy and Dave gave me two anthurium for Christmas. And I added a third plus fiddle leaf figs. Plus ferns and two more fiddleleaf figs on the west wall. Taking care of them, after Kit died — 12/27/24 — gave me a caregiving outlet. Then as I entered the second year of my Bereavement — I felt ready to extend my “presence” to my outside yard. I wanted wanting some COLOR to help block and soften the stark white side of my neighbor’s townhome. And they are already helping!

Being without my beloved “Lovey Bear” after 65 years has resulted in a Slow Dissolving of all sorts of things. Many Routines and at least One Large Layer of my Identity have dissolved. I am still ME! But I am a Self that is Molting. In Process! Doing an incredibly slow flux into new ways of expressing myself — my Selves. As I pause now to reflect — I find this all fascinating. Even if it is almost impossible for me to truly grasp what is happening in me.

I can feel myself expanding in a comical SLOW MO. . . .sort of way.

Tagged with: After 65 loving years, family, life, Love, refilling drained inner batteries, Reframing my life, restoring myself, The Gift of Life
Posted in A difficult freedom, a prayer for healing, a series of molts and upgrades, accepting gifts sight unseen, Accepting Imperfection, accepting my ability to REDESIGN, Adventures, Attention, Balance, Balancing and adjustments, balancing free with supported, Compassion, compassion to care for myself, complexity, connecting

A Turn in the Road

Posted on May 25, 2026 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Good Morning, God

I woke up in time to get out for a walk to see the sun rise over the mountains. Kit and I started do this — watching the sun rise over the marina — back in Honolulu on November 14, 2023. The sun moves — appears to move as we twirl –steadily across the sky all day long. But there are only two times where the movement is clearly visible. The time of the sun’s RISING and its SETTING. t

Those times of transitioning — from being see — to not being seen — have a powerful impact on me. I do not remember what first propelled us on this path of WANTING to see the sun rise. I am a night person. And so if I rise while it is still dark it is somehow much easier for me. Kit however was the quintessential Morning Person. So mayhap it was his idea? No matter. For me the JOY of it has persisted. So here I am — quite a few turns in the road, later — still loving the first glimpse of the Orb peeking over the mountains.

This morning on my walk, just as I was approaching the bottom of the hill, I was struck by the realization that I was no longer taking care of Kit. DUH! Kit died at the end of 2024! But at that moment I shifted from knowing with my head and heart — to knowing with my body! It was a VISCERAL realization.

It stopped me in my tracks. And I stood there just “feeling” it. Sandy asked me, “Did it feel good or . . .bad?” And I said, IT FELT SURPRISING! My Body suddenly KNEW! She was no longer responsible for Kit. She could release Kit into God’s hands. It was a profound moment of “letting go”.

Apparently, while my Mind was “lost” and my Heart was “grieving”, my Body had just kept on being “responsible”. What a GOOD and FAITHFUL body You have given me, God. I am thankful for those qualities! But I am even MORE thankful to have had my body finally make the TURN. I shall sleep more deeply tonight.

Tagged with: bible, christianity, Jesus, letting go at last, The slow work of healing
Posted in connecting, healing, My faithful body, Ongoing Transformation, Transitioning, Transitions, visible turnings

Night Blooming Cereus: Connecting with Nature, Community and myself

Posted on April 24, 2026 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Good Morning God,

Yesterday friends texted that there were THREE night blooming Cereus blossoms open! I said, I will be right over!!! And I was. But I needed their help to locate the blooms. They were wrapped around a small tree in an open area between their townhouse and a neighbors. It was NOT on my daily path…. not even close enough for me to have ever spotted them.

So now I know enough to actually look for them myself. But it isn’t just the beautiful plants. I am rejoicing that I getting to know my neighbors. Not just by name — to nod and say HELLO — although that is lovely, Now I have the energy to sit and share — hearing and being heard. Sharing our histories.

And also learning a bit of the history of this Place. I learned that there used to be ten feet of this cactus right in front of another neighbor. All ten feet EATEN by Javelinas. I was still puzzled — thinking the Javelinas had eaten the blossoms. NO! The javelinas had eaten them roots and all! Completely wiping them out!

My entire Life has become a New Territory, hasn’t it, God. Now that Kit is with YOU….and not here with me. . . my life itself is a NEW TERRITORY. My own history is reorganizing itself. I found a photo of my mother as maybe a 15 year old. And I could SEE her as a FRIEND….see in her face, my face and the faces of all three daughters. She had suddenly broken free of all the boxes I had put her it.

This is all amazing! I had no idea that the mosaics of my life could recombine so creatively and become so much more multidimensional. I am so THANKFUL to have reached this Time on my Journey.