Growth as Molting

Good Evening, God!

Mostly I think of growth as a slow progression from bud to fruit . . . green to ripe. Simple. Ah! But now I am finally realizing the GROWTH for Humans is much more complex. In fact, this morning it came to me that I am in need of a MOLT.  And even odder yet,  it is an internal relational molt — yes, within me.

I realized that I was constrained by old cultural norms. DUH!  Aren’t we ALL constrained by old out dated outworn norms.  Norms that have always been with us. Norms we don’t challenge. We don’t challenge and change if we don’t SEE them.  So, that realization is (I HOPE) the last lesson from this Instructive Illness I’m in. 

But, then another idea followed! If I as an individual need periodic Molts — how much more our society as a whole needs frequent Molts! Old ideas that are no longer helpful! Daniel Quinn’s book Beyond Civilization is FULL of molts!

The one that hit me was about how there are jobs that we do — like repaving roads and filling pot holes — that are never done. Never FINISHED. Quinn suggests that we consider HOMELESSNESS like that. We continue working to help those we can. But, then instead of “criminalizing” those we can’t help — we see HOW we can help them — as in listen to them. He starts this riff in chapter 110 and had some really good ideas. (I’m in chapter 114.)

Does acceding mean we approve of folks being homeless? Not at all. But, it does mean having a lot more variety and creativity in how we work with our fellow human beings.  Hmm. I think I am going to send this to my state senator! It’s Time for a societal molt on homelessness!

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Posted in a series of molts and upgrades, accepting my ability to REDESIGN, adjusting, Books, Changing, choices, connecting, Options

Using My Mistakes/Wounding to rebuild

IMG_2157Good Night God,

Believing as deeply as I do that You love us . . . I am coming to believe that my Painful, Long Hidden — Wrong Responses — can be used to help me rebuild. The idea seems to be that when one of these Dark Spots surfaces I can go back into it. Be with my Wounded/Wounding Self.  Feel with it.  And then ask — if you could do this over again – what would you do?

Sometimes a response comes quickly . . . sometimes I sit grieving with my Earlier Self and wondering what could I have done. But, the very act of Being With . . . is rebuilding more than I know.

Once I feel clear on what I wish I had done . . . I make it my Intention. Somehow that helps.  I have rebuilt or maybe re-welcomed a Locked up Part of me. It is a beginning. And that beginning ripples out — wider and deeper than I know.

Here is a poem after Centering:

Intentions are outside of Time

I didn’t know that
Maybe I still don’t
How can that be?

Because Intentions reside in a
 Safer Place

Oh😊 I like that!

We are always connected
And we can go back
Via  Courage and Compassion
To Dark Spots and gently ask
Our younger Frozen self
Now that I am with you
Let us imagine
What we MIGHT have done?

It may come in a flash
Of knowing

Or perhaps we need to stay there with
The Wounded/Wounding One
Stay until SHE CAN imagine a better response

And then choose that as her INTENTION
BUT, does that change anything?

And its Power Ripples
Throughout the DEPTH

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Posted in Choosing to respond, Compassion, connecting, courage, God's Time, Intentions, recovery time, self care as self compassion and humility, self-compassion, time

All Is Well With My Soul

Art Museum on MLK dayGood Evening, God!

I’m toward the end of my Second Instructional Illness — I hope. It was several months ago when I “heard” You say, “You can stay home on Tuesdays and Fridays or you can have a series of instructional illnesses.” That got my attention! And I did manage to stop a longstanding meeting on my Fridays. And, mostly, I don’t have anything that I do on those days — regularly. I do however, add in an occasional This or That. Yes, it is true I add them with some frequency. So, is that part of the reason for my protracted ear infection?

Yes, but, here is a Key Point: I was on the Mainland for 33 days this Fall tending to family business. Actually, I was working on Remedial Mothering. How could I not go? Yes, I guess “trusting my daughter to You” was a passive sort of option. But it was so CLEAR that I was TO GO! As always, it turned out that I was not going just to “help” her but for myself to BE HELPED! I had holes in my soul that needed mending. My visit took me on a difficult inward journey toward integration and wholeness.

However, it did massively drain my Inner Battery. 

The word Growing fails utterly to capture the wrenching seismic upheavals I went through. I came home thankful but so very depleted. I thought I was smart taking One Whole Week off to “recover” when I returned home. One Week? How woefully inadequate!

I needed MORE time off and this illness has forced me to cancel . . . more and more.  And letting go of Doing Things I Love . . . has been a Lovely Lesson. I’m grateful! And I’m learning that these lessons are mostly so I will love myself more.  They are not so You will love me more! You already love infinitely.

Just now as I was climbing the stairs after dinner I was flooded with a Profound Sense of Wellness — sick or not.  I am WELL. Truly, All is WELL with my SOUL!

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Posted in Abundant Life, accepting my ability to REDESIGN, accepting my authority to set limits, accepting my need for help, connecting, gratitude, health, Lessons, LOVE, The Flow of God's Love, Wellness

Continuing to Grow

Good Morning, God!

My first walk in weeks! A persistent ear infection has left me VERY aware of my need to rebuild and recover. I know that moving . . . using the body . . . is part of healing. But, I just wanted to curl up and nap. So, I am thankful for my wonderful husband Kit walking with me around the middle sized loop in our valley. My mindset is definitely on self care and self encouragement.

And speaking of Mindsets — yesterday a friend brought Carol Dweck’s book Mindset: The New Psycology of Success,to the book group I was with and asked if anyone had read it? I said that I had. And she turned on me saying, “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME ABOUT IT?!”

Gosh, I thought I had raved about it in a blog or two several years ago. But that didn’t cut it! I was guilty of failing to SHARE!

So, we are reading Mindset for our February meeting. And I am eager to reread it. I want to see if Dr. Dweck says anything about how difficult/painful/exhausting it is to grow in ways that violate inner norms.

It isn’t idle curiosity.This fall I did just that. WOW! I had no idea how much support I would need to speak openly about “taboo” topics.

This morning, looking at the beautiful guava blossom I realized that we humans don’t follow the annual cycle of growth and reproduction that plants do. Golly, this morning I read about a banded albatross who at 67 years of age had a healthy chick. OK OK I’m not into THAT MUCH GROWTH!

But, it is sad that so many of us feel DONE at 21.  You are never done with us. Always You long to participate with us in our molting and growing and expanding!

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Posted in a hand up, choosing HARD, connecting, growing toward up, Growth Opportunities, Helpful Hards, Persistence, Personal Responsibilty, Perspective, the Growth Mindset

Learning from Regret

FullSizeRenderA KEY QUESTION  (a meditation after Centering)

If I could do it over again . . .
What would I do?

This question is key to Learning From Regret
Was there a point at which I could have Turned?

To Repent Is to Turn Around

To indulge in repentance simply as a dreadful feeling
is to miss the pivot point!

To miss or Once again slide past
A Moment of Being Awake

All systems SHOUT!!!

And each time I hear those warning bells
I am given a choice 

Do I Hunker Back Down into Not Knowing?

What could/ should I have then then?
And – harder still

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Posted in a hand up, a prayer for healing, being a Slow Learner, Centering Prayer, Changing, Choosing Meaning, Choosing to respond, connecting, Possibilities, Regret -- acknowledging and releasing it, Repentance, responding to "nudges", responding to God's Spirit, Rethinking

Artisans of the Common Good

image from reaching out Vietnam

Good Day, God!

Pope Francis said it so well. We are all Artisans of the Common Good. I love that phrase! It embraces us ALL. All of us “ordinary folk” are welcomed into the Creative Pool. Given the Title of Artisan, and given a task truly worthy of each of us — to work on creating The Common Good.

David Brooks took it and wrote about How Would Jesus Drive. Bringing our calling into better focus. As I pondered how I might become a better artisan I thought of the Five Small Steps that I had intended to be for “managers” and other leaders. But, hey, God, they are for ALL of us.

  1. Names — calling someone by their name implies you are seeing them as a fellow human being . . . worth of respect. Learn and use names.
  2. Thank You — we all need appreciation and recognition . . . and a simple Thank You . . . when done with eye contact and a smile . . . does that.
  3. Please Excuse Me — lawyers say never apologize but statistic show fewer law suits when we do apologize. A heartfelt apology makes it so much easier to extend forgiveness.
  4. What Do You Think? — This simple phrase invites folks IN . . . into participation and solution finding/creating.
  5. What Do We Do Now? we so often take the wrong turn, get lost, and our first reaction is often to blame others. How much more fruitful to ask one another “What do we do now? Where do we go next?”

Maybe I should mount these on my mirror? Or a wall . . . Or? Well, we shall see.

Thank You, God, for Pope Francis.

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Posted in connecting, Creating, creativity in loving service, LOVE, Our Extended Family - all creatures great and small, The daily details of love

A Brand New Year

A part of a study for Oz by Frank Moore


Happy New Year, God!

First, Thank You for the year past . . . a year in which I actually took some growth steps! Who knew how incredibly scary it was to violate family taboos and actually Speak the Truth in Love! WOW! And I could not have done it without constant support and pressure.

Secondly, just a brief riff on me as a Time Based Creature — daring to chat with YOU the Creator of Time/Non Time and well, everything! A tribute, God, to my sense of Your Enormous Love and Compassion for all of us . . . each of us. I’m learning that Your definition of Love is BIGGER than mine. A double WOW!

And then to the image above. It’s a portion of a study of Frank Moore’s work, Oz. I resonated with it. Sheesh! I have BEEN in that image! Pushing, Pulling and Lugging around STUFF. Worse yet, wanting to defend it. Yuck!

And, as it is a New Year and I want to GET RID OF STUFF . . . I have to stop and ponder why it is that I am attached to stuff. Some stuff is Family Stuff that I feel as if I am caregiver for. Some stuff was given to me by a loved one . . . now gone. Other stuff was purchased to bolster my sense of self worth. And don’t forget the stuff I just WANTED. Sigh.

It is so easy to Judge others as Greedy. . . but perhaps, they like me, are mostly needy. Hmm. Needy, not Greedy? Wouldn’t THAT affect how I see myself and others!


Posted in a New Year, A Spiritual Spring Cleaning, awareness, Changing, choices, choosing HARD, Choosing Meaning, Choosing to respond, courage, fears, Filling up my suitcase and my days, God wants to nourishes us, God's Attention, God's Time, growing toward up

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Brené Brown

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Rachel Naomi Remen

chatting and sometimes, listening

A Moment with God

chatting and sometimes, listening

Sacred Dance Guild Journal

Since 1958 articles by members & guests offer news about activities, history, Sacred Dance practices, profiles of Sacred Dancers, choreography, images & illustrations.

Victoria Paulsen

How to Step In -- Substitute Teaching