We are not in Honolulu, anymore!

Posted on August 19, 2024 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Good Morning, God

Here in Tucson — near daughter Sandy and her family — for a bit over a month! And I have fallen in loved with the SKY — an Active, Moving (and by night, Electric) SKY. Truly, God! The Heavens do DECLARE Your GLORY.

We arrived July 13 — during Monsoon Season — and I have stood at night before our huge windows — marveling at the LIGHTENING DISPLAYS! In AWE!!! Kit, who was also watching asked me, “WHY no THUNDER?” Oddly enough, I just had assumed that sheet lighting didn’t make noise . . . but I went to look it up and found that lightening further than 10 miles away — can’t be heard. Imagine!

Aaah, that brings to mind, the TOTAL importance of being Heard. Paul Watzlawick once said that the primary purpose of human communication was to confirm our existence …. as humans beings. And then, having looked him up — only to get his name spelled correctly — I found myself immersed in his theories. I am thinking of one of his axioms: “You cannot NOT communicate.” And the scorched earth effect of refusing to speak about a problem.

But truly, God, if we all just realized HOW MUCH we need to have our EXISTENCE CONFIRMED. . . .we (well, surely, I )would be so much the better for it. Hmmm, it is our existence as Human Beings. . . preferably healthy, kind, caring human beings!

Which brings up my ongoing efforts to become one of those. I find — especially in an election year — that AVOIDING NEWS sources is helpful. Otherwise one is hoisted up into the Good Guys vs Bad Guys story and urged to hate / despise and fear others. I think it was Frank Zappa who described politics as the Entertainment Arm of the Military Industrial Complex. Sigh . . . Into YOUR HANDS, GOD!!!!

And I return to pondering our almost magical relocation — with Thanksgiving!

Tagged with: Paul Watzlawick, Tucson
Posted in Awe, Communication, connecting, Glorious, Heavens declare the Glory of God, Thanksgiving!

Adding CONTENT to Abstractions

Posted on June 9, 2024 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Good Evening, God

I have been prattling on about abstractions like ADJUSTING and TRANSITIONING . . . in a very cheery upbeat sort of way. But, I failed to understand that each one of us adds content to those abstractions — each time we go through one. Or rather as we go through an ongoing series of them. Because these are not snapshots. These are VIDEOS.

For an example — when Kit slipped in his bathroom and broke his hip — we embarked on a SERIES of adjustments and transitions. Thank YOU, God, that our daughter Sandy was with us! She helped me face a reality that neither Kit nor I wanted to face. Kit and I were lying on the carpet listening to Whitney Houston singing ONE MOMENT IN TIME. And we were happy to stay there . . .

But, Sandy and reality did finally break through and we were off to Straub ER, and then a gamma nail surgery the next morning . . . and then once again, Sandy saved the day! She said to the Case Worker, “Arenʻt there any rehab places on the island that accept family?” And there was ONE. So off we went to Kahuku Medical Center. Sandy took an extra week off from teaching Forth Grade. And we shared being with Kit and being at the Courtyard Oahu North Shore. Kit and I were together and with Sandy and then Dave came to replace Sandy — I got to take time off to shower and then even alternately sleep at the hotel. And I did not need to think about the food. One of their staff even loaned me a zero gravity chair to actually SLEEP in next to Kit. Helpful PT and OT folks came every day to help Kit keep moving.

Then came the transition to home. No more one room striped down living. Now it was a four bedroom home that was out of control. When faced with that kind of an ENLARGED REALITY — Sensory Overload hit me. I felt like 10 years had been dumped on me. YIKES!

Our wonderful son-in-law Dave, who flew out to help, had thought ahead and built a wheelchair ramp so we could get inside. And Castleʻs Adventist Health were on the job right away. But, after living in a simpler reality — one room with a bathroom — the magnitude of the STUFF in our home was exhausting. What a shock that HOME was the hardest part. It took a week for me to return to feeling my regular age.

And now Sandy is here helping once again. And TOGETHER we are facing the Adventure of moving to Tucson — into a lovely one floor townhouse a half mile from Sandy and Dave.

And as I ponder all of this — I am so very THANKFUL that Kit broke his hip just when he did. We had a wonderful long run (53 years) of aging in place in Honolulu. And I am feeling like even a few months later might have been . . . a bit too late. So THANK YOU!!!!

Posted in adjusting, Balancing and adjustments, connecting, Depletion, moving, overload, Transitioning, Transitions

Around the Island on a magic carpet

Posted on April 18, 2024 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

Good Day God!

Monday my wonderful husband, Kit, and I were taken on a “magic carpet” ride to Straub hospital and back. Of course, it was actually by the Royal Kapuna Transport van. But, the ride was made magical by Austin, our driver.

Austin has the gift of caring and listening. Oh my goodness! I had no idea how much I needed to be heard! The words just flooded out of me. Mostly about health — what it is — how to nourish it — and things to do. On and ON I burbled. It never ceases to amaze me how we can tell when someone is “interested” as well as just listening.

Questions and comments flew back and forth as we continued to connect. I found out Austin is a fisherman with an Instagram account. He found out that I LOVE to take photos. In fact, on the way back he pulled over several times so I could get a good shot! That was truly appreciated! In fact, the photo for yesterday’s blog was because Austin took us to the end of La’ie Point so I could see and photograph the rock with the puka in it.

Being with another human being — one who is compassionate and interested — is profoundly healing. I wish more people understood that. I call it “Social Nutrition.” And we need it maybe even more than we need ordinary nutrition. How wonderful it is to receive it. What a blessing it is to have a dear friend who will have a “real” conversation with us. I am blessed with dear friends, beloved daughters, and then magically, a “transit driver” who nourish me.

Tagged with: Royal Kapuna Transit
Posted in being heard into speaking, being together in a compassionate presence, Being With, Compassion, connecting, Hearing, Sharing, the joy of sharing

A Hole . . . in Time

Posted on April 16, 2024 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

https://imagesofoldhawaii.com/kukuihoolua/

Good Day, God

My wonderful husband Kit and I entered a Hole in Time on March 29, 2024 — the day before my 85th birthday. He fell with a house shaking THUMP in his bathroom. By Your Grace, our darling daughter Sandy was visiting us over her Spring Break from teaching 4th grade in Tucson. Even so, we were slow to respond. Kit wanted ONLY to get back in bed. . . a task too far. So Kit and I lay together on the floor listening to Whitney Houston singing One Moment in Time. . . over and over. Kit’s call. After a while Sandy gently pointed out, Dad, we need the firemen to get you back into bed.

I suspect Kit and I really just wanted to drift there on the carpet — staying in One Moment in Time — forever. But finally, Kit, agreed and the firemen came. And then I was able to see reality through their eyes. Yes. . . Kit’s leg was at an unnatural angle. Yes. Yes we should call the ambulance and proceed to Straub’s ER. And then the hole became more familiar. Third time to Straub’s ER. 2022 UTI. 2023 Cellulitis. And now 2024 Broken Hip.

Straub has private rooms and they let the wife stay. This is so important as Kit’s short term memory — especially under stress — is not up to even finding the call button. Sandy was immediately key in getting me to gently ask the staff “might you find a recliner that actually reclines?” And then when our 4 nights were up Sandy asked Kit’s case manager to see if there might be a Rehab place that allows family???

There was! And Sandy and I took turns at the rehab with Kit or at the Marriott North Shore. Again, Sandy’s IDEA! Sandy extended for a second week and then Dave came for a week. Those two weeks helped me in the process of adjusting to this Time and this Place.

Kit and I are now curled up in room 215 at the Kahuku Medical Center. I sleep pretty well in a zero gravity chair (loaned from home by a staff member) right next to Kit’s hospital bed. And meanwhile this HOLE in regular time has deepened and enriched itself. For example, due to an incredible kindness, we were able to see this hole in Kukuiho’olua one of several islets off of La’ie Point that are bird sanctuaries.

I am slowly becoming aware that what are “holes” for me are OPENINGS for YOU.

Tagged with: Holes or Openings, Kahuku Medical Center, Kukuiho'olua, La'ie Point
Posted in a prayer for healing, beauty, connecting, daughters, family, family visits, gratitude, healing, LOVE, opening, Shocks, Surprises

Turning a Corner and WOW!

Posted on January 27, 2024 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Good Morning, God

Last evening, my wonderful husband, Kit, and I were just returning from dinner at a Greek restaurant. I was wanting their rack of lamb. Coming home we turned the corner and BAM! We were HIT with a sunset that overwhelmed us with Your Glory!

I found a spot where I could park and drink in the JOY that was filing me. Prudent — as photographing while at the wheel is unwise. And I pondered the difference between a slow paced observation of a marvelous sunset — which I have enjoyed many times — and a sudden WHAMO!

Beauty, lovingkindness, the goodness of our fellow creatures, surround us ALL THE TIME. But, I do not often open myself to notice. I am busy going about my own life . . . filled with my own personal clutter. . . which blinds me. Then I turn a corner and SEE!!!!

It is to laugh. LOOK UP! OPEN MY HEART! LOVE!

Or maybe it is just to receive? I AM LOVED. WE ARE LOVED. AS WE ARE. EACH ONE OF US. Will we STOP? OPEN? AND RECEIVE? Will I receive?

So Now I am beginning my day with the Morning Prayer of 1) welcoming this new day — accepting all that comes to me 2) welcoming my full self . . . as I am . . . all corners. 3) offering the day and myself back to YOU.

Posted in Awe, connecting, gifts and giftings, God's gifts, Heavens declare the Glory of God, Hope as a gift from God, JOY, LOVE, people as gifts, simple joys of daily life, The Endless Flow of God's Love, The Flow of God's Love, the gift of persistent love, The gift to SEE others, the joy of sharing

A Nudge from the Spirit — and Mahalia Jackson

Posted on January 15, 2024 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

American singer Mahalia Jackson (1911 – 1972) sings at the March on Washington for Freedom and Jobs on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, Washington, DC, August 28, 1963. Sitting at lower right is Civil Rights leader Martin Luther King (1929 – 1968) and his wife Coretta Scott King, between them is activist Whitney Young (1921 – 1971). (Photo by Bob Parent/Getty Images)

Good Evening, God

I just wanted to share a bit of back story about Martin Luther King Jr. and his I HAVE A DREAM speech. Apparently, King had decided to downplay his identity as a preacher and try to get across some serious political points. The speech had been worked on by a number of advisors and after the first several paragraphs it clearly it wasn’t going well.

At that point, his close friend and gospel singer, Mahalia Jackson yelled out: Tell them about the Dream, Martin. TELL THEM ABOUT THE DREAM! She was sitting down at the time. She wasn’t at the microphone as she is shown in this photo. But her voice carried! And he heard her!

He turned and looked at her — pushed his prepared text aside — grabbed ahold of the podium — and opened up to the flow of the Spirit. THAT great extemporaneous speech just flowed out . . . and into history.

I wanted to share that little factoid, God, because I think it is important to realize that we have Mahalia Jackson to thank for that speech. She was open to Your Spirit. And she SPOKE OUT! Her voice seemed to set Martin Luther King Jr. FREE — free to share what was in his heart. She was an encourager . . . actually, she was an exhorter! Thanks be, to her, and to YOU.

Posted in connecting

A much needed backstory on Thanksgiving

Posted on December 27, 2023 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Good Afternoon, God

After reading this article in Atlas Obscura I was so moved that I wanted to share! The information is from Steven Peters who runs Smoke Sygnals, a Mashpee Wampanoag creative agency that has advised on numerous historical exhibits. OK! I am getting this information from someone who should know. And now they are not just labeled “Indians” they are known by their name — the Wampanoag Nation. Apparently they consisted of around 69 villages up and down New England with upwards of a few thousand per village. And they had a government structure with delegates that met regularly to make policies and rules for the best interest in everyone.

One more factor — one that made an empty village (Patuxet)for the Pilgrims — was the Great Dying. That began in 1616 right off of Patuxet with the landing of French fishing ship with a sick crew. Within 3 years over 100,000 Wampanoag were dead. I cannot even imagine the impact on the people.

But back to the arrival of the Pilgrims. First of all, how was there a “translator” Tisquantum to help the Pilgrims? It seems that Tisquantum had been captured as a slave in 1614 and sold in Spain, then going to England. How did a “slave” manage to return home in 1619? Such resourcefulness impressed me!

Next, how was it the Wampanoag Nation both let them stay AND helped them. Peters said that his people were having border incursions near Rhode Island from the Narragansett at that time and may have seen the Pilgrims as an ally. Still 90 warriors “visited” for three days — making a show of strength.

All of this delighted me. Now I have NAMES for these people — not LABELS! Names — groups names, and individual names tend to foster respect from one human being to another. LABELS TO NOT.

The next delight was that I was just now (at 84) LEARNING their names. This could not have happened without a sea change in how we are viewing indigenous peoples — but also a willingness to see and acknowledge the crimes of our ancestors. YES! YES! We are just beginning to see the extent of what we have done and are doing.

Sigh, I just talked again with a friend of many years whom I had unwittingly harmed. I say unwittingly. But, in looking back — I am appalled I hadn’t understood how harmful my actions were. Taking a good look at oneself — either as an individual or as a Nation — is not for cowards.

Aaah, I realize that seeing myself would be even closer to impossible if I did not perceive myself set in the context of Your Forgiving and Compassionate Love, God. You love me AS I AM . . . and only seem to desire me to love others AS THEY ARE. HARD?

But, the more I can see myself with Your Eyes . . . the more I can slowly develop a heart of compassion . . . for myself . . . and all the rest of us. Thank You.

Tagged with: history, pilgrims, plymouth-colony, Thanksgiving, The Great Dying, The Pilgrims, Tisquantum, Wampanoag
Posted in being FORGIVEN by God, Compassion, connecting, Forgiven!, Forgiving, LOVE, self care as self compassion and humility, self-compassion, The Endless Flow of God's Love, the gift of persistent love

It is never too late . . .

Posted on November 8, 2023 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

Good Evening God,

I have felt nudged to write this blog for weeks. Only, I felt inadequate. Sigh, but I doubt I will get MORE adequate anytime soon. So here goes!

It is never too late to apologize. We had a friend, Chuck, who 50 years after serving in WWII was having nightmares. A white ghostly figure would hover over the foot of his bed. Night after terrifying night!!! His wife finally persuaded him to see a doctor/therapist. It turned out that he had been in the Battle of the Bulge, in a foxhole, when he heard the sound of boots crunching on snow. He knew it must be The Enemy — because they had snow boots and our troops didn’t. He looked up and there in a white winter camouflage uniform was The Enemy. Shots rang out. And he woke up in a London hospital.

What to do? The Enemy was dead . . . most likely by his hand. His heart grieved. With the help of his therapist he wrote a letter to that soldier — expressing his sorrow and regret. Then he went to a park and put his letter on the grill and burned it up. Watching . . . as the smoke carried his apology up up and away.

He never had another nightmare. For a video story of this I did years ago — click here.

And as for me? I am still finding THINGS in my Mothering Journey to SEE and FEEL and WEEP over. Mostly these have to do with our beloved Patty who died at 18 of a rare form of lymphoma. But, as with our friend Chuck, it is not too late to finish up the SEE, FEEL, and WEEP by apologizing.

Perhaps, though, apologizing is too small a word. This is a process and it takes time — maybe a lifetime. It has been decades since our daughter died. And I am still finding/seeing things I failed to do. It takes a lot of trust in Your forgiving love, God, to even be able to see and acknowledge these failures. Seeing my failures hurts. Weeping hurts. But weeping cleanses. And I truly want to be cleansed.

Tagged with: Seeing myself with weeping
Posted in apologizing, Cleansing, connecting, Failure as Teacher, Failures, Forgiving, Mistakes

Movements of the Heart

Posted on October 23, 2023 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

The two of us at the Royal Hawaiian Band concert last Friday at the Iolani Palace grounds.

Good Morning, God

It all started when a dear friend told me that a minister we know emailed that the millennials see Yoga as their “church”. And her daughter — a civil engineer and yoga fan — agreed! It got me thinking!!! What if we could make church more like yoga?

Mind you, God, I have dropped out of yoga after several classes. So, it is not as if I know much. Aha, but, thus I am all the more free to imagine.

Movements! When I think of yoga I think of Movements! Movements to better align us. Movements to improve the flow of blood and qi through us. Hmm . . . what might be something similar that the church could offer? First thought was the hand motions that go with many of the hymns for kids.

But, then it came to me — we have Movements of the Heart — to offer. Or, more to the point, I want to root around and ponder WHAT are the various movements of the Heart that might benefit me? My wonderful husband Kit and I are in the Penultimate Stage of Life.

The penultimate stage is one in which we are still able to welcome Hope — and have the energy to consider making Choices. The Last Stage seems to me to be pretty much out of our control except, I hope, the most basic choices to choose TRUST and to CHOOSE LOVE.

Still, the first movement of the heart — OPENING — came to me as a bit of a surprise. We have a new minister and have been gently urged to wear name tags. Sigh. . . .but You gave me a Nudge and so I prepared name tags. Along with wearing the name tag I experienced a strong desire to “know” people’s names. And not just their names — but to know Them. It was only afterwards that I was able to see how “closed” to the people around me that my heart had been before.

Having experienced an Opening of my Heart I realized how happy it made me — joyful even! And my heart seems to have stayed more open to You, too. It definitely realigned something inside me! So now I am praying — asking for Your Help — about what might the NEXT Movement of the Heart be.

Posted in Beloved Community, connecting, LOVE, Names, opening, The daily details of love, The Endless Flow of God's Love, the gift of persistent love, Welcoming

Steps going up toward the Light

Posted on September 20, 2023 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Good Evening, God

I saw this photography in the current issue of the Smithsonian. It is of the basement area (where the workers lived) of the Alhambra. My wonderful husband Kit just said, “That is the gloomiest photo I have seen in a long time!”

I found it riveting! This shows the dark area where the workers, cooks, bakers, cleaners, soldiers, etc lived and worked. And I wondered how often they saw the elegance and beauty of the world above? So what captured my eye? Perhaps it was the contrast? Or was it just the steps going up toward the LIGHT? To me the image seemed to call me . . . UP! UP INTO LIGHT.

Sigh . . . it is all about focus, isn’t it, God. I am looking at the light with delight! But, as I pause and ponder I can feel the semi-dark the folks below worked in. Why semi-dark? Because LIGHT cost money. And while there was no end of money for the rulers up above — that was NOT the case for the workers below.

Hmmm. This has pretty much been the norm. March 25, 1911 the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory fire killed 146 workers — mostly women. And that got enough publicity the laws were passed to improve conditions. But, the fight is still going on. Workers have unionized to better pressure the owners of factories to improve safety conditions. I am thinking of a friend and his experience in steel mills.

But, if the “light” of publicity is not present — there is no pressure. Why? Well, we humans organize in layers — hierarchies. And the “profit” motive means that the intermediate people have nothing to gain and everything to lose by pushing for greater safety. Greater safety has immediate costs. It may well save money in the long run. But, by then the safety advocates are out of a job.

Truth tellers — are often out of a job. Funny thing, I just watched a video by Gabor Mate on how people who cannot — or do not say NO — have their bodies say NO for them.

Authenticity seems to be essential to our health.

As individuals. And as a society.

Tagged with: Gabor Mate
Posted in authenticity, health, Light, power, The power of images, The Power of Naming, The power of Story, Truth, Truth Tellers