Sharing: Walking Together and Working Together

Posted on August 3, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

our part of the marina -- seen at high tide

Good Morning, God!

After dinner, Kit has been walking with me around our block. I tell him it is to help with my “weight loss” and it is. But, I can’t help remembering the study that showed that a daily walk with your spouse or a friend will do more to make you happy than a big increase in your income.

I’m smiling, God! Given our ability to OVERSPEND, the benefit from an increase in income would soon disappear. Still, I take the point. We are social beings. We need each other.

I am convinced that women — especially — are designed to work together.

Yesterday the library committee met and worked in informal “teams” to process books. One team matched call numbers and put them on. Another put on barcodes and wrote the number on the control card. And another team checked for property stamps and added the plastic jackets. Each person had only a small part, but they all shared in the common goal of getting books into the library for the community to read.

They were doing Meaningful work, God. Then last night as I was reading a few pages of the Upside of Irrationality I stumbled on a section on how important it is for workers to derive satisfaction from their work. Part of that satisfaction comes from understanding the purpose and meaning of what they do. Another part is about having a sense of “contributing” to the work. The author, Dan Ariely, talks about the IKEA effect — the satisfaction of building something ourselves.

One more thought, God. When we walk together or work together — we are often talking together. We are sharing a common experience. But even more importantly, we are sharing ourselves. We need more of that sharing, God!

Tagged with: designed to work together, meaningful work, sharing ourselves, The Upside of Irrationality
Posted in Communication, connecting, connections, interactions, meaningful work, Sharing

Embarking on a Path toward a Better, Happier, Body

Posted on August 2, 2011 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

Consider the lilies of the field (or pond) Photo: David Nurse

Good Morning, God!

Several days ago Kit found an OLD photo of me at the beach — me looking svelte. Oddly enough, God, I did not immediately turn my face away. That was my former response because I thought those days — and that body — were gone forever and that made me sad.

Now I am pretty sure I can get part way back — if not to svelte, then surely to “fit.” This is a major shift in my mindset! Thank You, God! Partly, it is because I did shape up under the No Grain Diet. Only to fall — in slow motion — back into a more normal diet. So, I have experienced the joy of a happier healthier body.

Now, it would be TRUE HUMILITY if I took a photo of myself today — in a bathing suit. Not going to happen, God! But, it did occur to me that sharing how I am doing, or not doing, might help me. A small step toward confession, openness, and transparency? Hmmm. Actually, I think “Going Public” means I would be opening myself up to being ACCOUNTABLE! Yuck!

Meanwhile, Sandy, who is visiting an ever Svelte Suz, is beseeching me to GO BACK on the NO GRAIN DIET! She wants an “Improved Role Model!” Me too! So, to help with that, I have sent away for Gut and Psychology Syndrome: Natural Treatment for Autism, Dyspraxia, A.D.D., Dyslexia, A.D.H.D., Depression, Schizophrenia. That’s a book that focuses on first developing healthy gut flora.

Next, I shall make a calendar and track my weight weekly — and report back here monthly. Please, God, help me focus on Health and Wellness. And yes, God, re-retiring is KEY to having the energy to invest in these changes. Thank YOU!

Tagged with: starting a GAP diet, the No Grain diet
Posted in accepting my ability to REDESIGN, accepting my authority to set limits, Cherishing our Bodies, choices

A Variety of Perspectives — Skies and Stars and Galaxies

Posted on August 1, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Looking toward the center of our galaxy -- the Milky Way

Good Morning, God!

It is a much smaller world than it was when I was young, God. I just finished reading an email from a friend in Africa and another from a friend in Brazil. And Sanz has been sending photos via iPhone of her visit with Suz. Wonderful!

Another friend just send a link to the Canada -France – Hawaii Telescope site where they have time lapse movies of the view looking East from Mauna Kea. You can choose to watch a night with a full moon or a new moon.

Hubble Deep Field Photo

But, I didn’t really FALL into SPACE until I stood in the Duke planetarium and gazed at the Deep Field Photo from the Hubble telescope. It took a minute or two for me to realize that the lights were not stars. They were GALAXIES. My mind didn’t really know what to do with that fact.

That was several years ago, God, and I don’t think I’ve gotten a better grasp of it yet. So I turn back to Madeleine L’Engle’s quote about SIZE DOESN’T MATTER. I find that a great comfort, God. Maybe holding that thought is what allows to me dare to sit her chatting with You.

And now this thought has crept into my mind — what if some day our galaxy shrinks the way our world has shrunk? I’m laughing, God. My Mind is definitely Not Ready for THAT!

But, then I remember that I was raised on ideas like that. Science Fiction took me through worm holes for space travel and did Time Travel, too. So, I suppose it isn’t so much that my Mind can’t deal with these facts — as it is that my Rational Mind 20th Century Mind can’t deal with them. Hmmm. Please, God, OPEN my mind and my heart.

Tagged with: countless galaxies, Perspectives, Stretching my mind
Posted in a matter of scale, Perspective, reframing, web of life

A Sabbath Day — Founded on Humility — Who Knew?

Posted on July 31, 2011 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

Light through Philodendron leaves

Good Morning, God!

A lovely, quiet Sabbath Day. I will be reading scripture in a couple of hours and playing scrabble with my Mom. But, that is pretty much all I have planned.

Maybe a walk with Kit after dinner? Everything else can wait. I do still have a TOWER of PILES on the dining room table. But truth be told, God, I could just toss the whole thing.

Aaah! So THIS is Sabbath Rest. I LOVE IT!

And the interesting — or horrifying — thing is, that retiring from being Arcadia’s library consultant has been a blessing for them! More people are involved — using their gifts and talents — to do meaningful work in the library.

And I am no longer “responsible” for doing more than I have the time, energy or inclination to do. Now, WHAT took me so long? Well, to be generous to myself, God, I did ASK if others WANTED to do what I was doing. But, looking back, of course, it was ESSENTIAL for me to DECIDE to STEP OUT OF THE PICTURE. To acknowledge to myself and everyone else it was too much for me.

Hmmm. That might have been the “sticking point”, God. Acknowledging it was TOO much for me to do and do well — that was painful. Sigh. Reality and Humility do look a lot alike. But, going back to Opposable Virtues, God. I was “responsible”, “loyal” and “faithful.” I didn’t want to stop until there was a “replacement.”

It reminds me of the story of how villages in Japan “fired the loyal soldier” who was returning from wars. First they THANKED and HONORED HIM for past services. Then the village elder stood up and announced that NOW he was needed as a productive worker in the community — a firing from one role and rehiring in another role. Ah, the old ways — a transition ritual!

Tagged with: exhaustion, overload, retiring
Posted in humility, responsibility, sabbath rest, seeing, self care as self compassion and humility, simple joys of daily life

Letting go of Work — Re-embracing the World

Posted on July 30, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Looking back at Waikiki

Good Morning, God!

Yesterday was my first time back in the water since I left on my first trip back in April. Three months ago? Really, God?

But, You are Right. I’ve been busy. Who knew that “Letting Go” took so much energy — and was so painful? Choosing to retire from my job as “library consultant” did feel like a loss of my identity.

I’m shaking my head now, God. Wondering just HOW I could have gotten so mixed up about who I really am. How could I have taken my Work Role as my primary identity?

Still, it makes me very sympathetic for people who retire as CEOs and Presidents. People with big jobs must find the “letting go” incredibly difficult. Jimmy Carter is the only one I can think of who entered into a More Meaningful Life.

Hmmm. More Meaningful . . . that feels “off track” God. We are all meaningful in ways large and small. And as Madeleine L’Engle pointed out in her book a Wind in the Door, size doesn’t matter. It really doesn’t. So much for being Number One — The Biggest — The Best. Foolishness! A Virus of the Heart that has infected us all.

Sigh. We are so easily deluded, Please, God, Open our eyes. Expand our Hearts. Help us to Care and Share. And, yes, God, make sure that I see myself as NEEDING care. Humble me so that I may Receive — help and advice from my family and friends! Oh, yes, You TOO!

Tagged with: humility, identity, retiring, Waikiki, working
Posted in humility, Humility or Needing Help!

A Lovely Day — but Missing Any Limits

Posted on July 29, 2011 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

Sitting outside the Blu Water Grill in Hawaii Kai at 8 a.m.

Good Morning, God!

Yesterday was a lovely day . . . a very social day with breakfast, lunch and dinner out with friends.It was a mostly “going slow” day.

Kit meanwhile was serving dinner to the homeless with the CUC music committee. Hmmm. Probably, God, enough said.

Yesterday a friend shared how she loved looking up at the Nuuanu Valley every morning. No two mornings are the same with varying combinations of mist, clouds and sunlight.

I feel the same way about our Marina that my friend does about the Nuuanu Valley. Each vantage point has its own beauty. There is just something marvelous about water, God. We humans resonate to water — building too close to rivers and oceans for total safety — irresistibly drawn to it.

Hmmm. The phrase “irresistibly drawn to it” has caught my ear, God. For I am irresistibly drawn back to my “normal” activities –– to “commitments” — to my “regular life.” Yes, God, Sandy was right when she told me on Sunday, “CANCEL YOUR WHOLE WEEK.” I knew she was “right,” as far as my body went. The bug I got right after returning from a third Mainland trip might not have been pneumonia but it has had the same effect. And I know — yes, KNOW– that REST is what bodies need to heal.

Oh, but yesterday was such a lovely day. So I find myself continuing to go right up to the “edge” of my physical limits. But, this morning my Body has made it clear that it is going to keep on giving me the “message” until I learn and CHANGE. I feel like a horse being “trained” to the bit and bridle — a very Headstrong Horse! I shall go and Sit in Silence and Stillness for 20 minutes.

Posted in a hand up, appreciation, Centering Prayer, living within limits, social support networks, water and love

My Need for Meaning — and how to Invest my Time

Posted on July 28, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

The Upside of Irrationality: The Unexpected Benefits of Defying Logic at Work and at Home

Good Morning, God!

I got up to make a note to myself about this book — but then I saw that my “How To” handout for tomorrow’s meeting wasn’t done. I confess, God, I spent 30+ minutes finishing it. Work is addictive. Projects cry out to be finished.

Now, God, I am going back to bed — ignoring the other tasks whimpering for attention.

It’s morning and I’m back, God, very aware that it’s a good thing that I am retiring from my “library consulting” jobs. One is about done — just another handout to go. The other one still has 3 or 4 more training handouts and meetings to go.

But my middle of the night “work craving” makes the point that I was so taken with in Dan Ariely’s book. He says that all the creatures they have tested prefer to work for their food — all but “the commendably rational cat.” He talks in the book about his parrot who prefers to “earn” her food through mastering a “SeekaTreat.” That device and other challenging toys “provided her with a more meaningful way to earn her food and spend her time.”

Ah, my. The parrot and I have the same needs, don’t we, God. The need for meaningful and challenging activities. Perhaps, that is why there are so many volunteers in America, God? Or so many young people playing computer games? Meaning and challenge are powerful motivators.

Hmmm. Meaning, Challenge and Belonging. That last one — the need to belong — is maybe even the most powerful of all. Please, God, enlarge our sense of belonging. Let us focus on caring for one another. Caring for our fellow creatures, large and small. And, not least, God, caring for ourselves.

Tagged with: "work is addictive", our need for meaning, the need to finish, The Upside of Irrationality
Posted in Compassion, compassion to care for myself, Meaning, meaningful work, time, web of life, Work

Being Happy with What we Have — a Life Enhancer

Posted on July 27, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Phal Yu Pin Sweetie -- at least that's what the tag says

Good Morning, God!

I splurged on an orchid this Saturday — just before I went into the Farmers’ Market. Earlier a friend had told me that she has to get there really early to get orchids with more than one stalk. So I chatted with the sales people and discovered they set up around 5:30 a.m. Ouch! That’s early!

My response was to laugh, look at my beautiful orchid and say “That’s OK. I’m really happy with what I have!” One of the women working there heard what I said and repeated it with relish! We agreed that “being happy with what we have” is a great Life Enhancer — an attitudinal MSG!

Hmmm. The thought just came to me, God, that being able to be “happy enough to give part of what we have away” is an even better Life Enhancer. Giving everything away is several large jumps away from where I am. But, I am quite certain that You designed us to enjoy giving and sharing. I guess that is why when money goes to “takers” — people who take advantage of our desire to help — we are so upset. In Advocates for Africa’s Children we learned to help those who were already helping others. Helping the Helpers feels really good, God.

This fall our church is going to be doing a “World Ark” fund raiser with Heifer International. Heifer provides needy people with animals, along with training on how to care for the animals. Each recipient in turn shares the offspring of their animal with their neighbors. I really like the idea of giving children a chance to help others — a chance to experience the joy of giving. You are RIGHT, God! It really is more blessed to give than to receive!

Tagged with: Advocates for Africa's Children, charity, contentment, gratitude, Heifer International, life enhancers
Posted in Giving, gratitude

It is NEVER too late to apologize

Posted on July 26, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

A mountain sheep? Shot by a friend of mine.

Good Morning, God!

I had considered using this photo whilst pondering apologies. It would have made the point that sometimes it is just too late to apologize.

Only, I know it is NEVER to late to apologize! I’m thinking of our friend, Chuck and a “ghost” who waited 50 years for an “apology.” The story, Memories, is still up on my website.

The short version is that Chuck started having nightmare as the 50th anniversary of D-Day approached. Every night a white “ghost” loomed over the foot of his bed. Finally his wife got him to go to the doctor, and after ruling out physical reasons he went to see a psychologist.

It turned out the “ghost” was the “memory” of a German soldier in a white winter camouflage uniform. During the Battle of the Bulge, Chuck was in a foxhole when he heard the soldier’s boots crunching on snow. Chuck looked up and, reflexively, shot him. Chuck, in the incident, was wounded and shipped off to a hospital, forgetting all about it — consciously.

But the ghost was lodged deep in Chuck’s memories. Now that Chuck knew who the ghost was, the question was, WHAT TO DO? Working with the psychologist, Chuck decided to write the soldier a “letter of apology” saying that he was sorry they had met the way they did — and sorry that he had killed him. He took the letter to the grill at a public park and set it on fire. The smoke carried the message up and away. And the ghost never returned.

I suppose, God, that really makes the point that apologies benefit those who give them as much as those who receive them.

Posted in Apologies, asking for and accepting forgiveness, Forgiving

The importance of apologies

Posted on July 25, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

up close with an oleana

Good Morning, God!

Kit and I were chatting yesterday about the power of apologies. He was saying that he is surprised at how many times someone in retailing fails to apologize when the situation clearly calls for it. Of course, we know that they personally are not responsible. But, an apology is an acknowledgment that you have been heard.

One of the things I’ve noticed with T-Mobile is how quick there are to say “I’m sorry you’ve had that trouble.” I dare say, God, that is training more than “feelings,” but I like it. I told Kit that even a rote apology will lower my level of “steam.”

Kit and I are not alone. Studies show that doctors who accept responsibility and go to the patient and his family to apologize are rarely sued. Still, in the face of such facts, lawyers will still counsel silence. Odd.

Hmmm. Apologies seem like a bare minimum response. Twelve-step programs talk about “making amends.” I just read a great article on how to actually do that. But, I was thinking more about how to go about “making amends” with You, God.

I sat in silence, God, pondering this . . . paradox. I feel loved and valued as I am — but I also feel a call to change, stretch and grow . . . embracing the future. And, it is quite clear the You don’t mean I should be doing more. In fact, I am inching my way toward an appreciation of the Hidden Inner Work that You do when we Rest. Thank You!

Posted in Apologies, becoming the change I wish to see, being a Slow Learner, Changing