Waiting for Kit and Day One at Princeton

Good Morning, God!
I’m here at Princeton and mostly awake and happy to be here! I have sent Kit off to have breakfast while I snack on nuts and cheese left over from my flight provisions. Soon, I will shower — and start the days activities — talks to attend, people to chat with, and so forth.

Princeton does a good job with reunions, God. And, I very much enjoyed my conversations with the women I met at dinner last night — under our reunion tent. These are smart women. Although, the man who “joked” and cut in front of me in line made me wonder at the fine line between senility and inebriation! Ah well!

So now, God, I shall ask for Your Help in being READY before Kit returns — so as to reduce his stress — and mine!

I AM READY! Now just a few thoughts on elite colleges and what might have happened if I hadn’t gone to Stanford. Life can take some funny turns, God. I was going to apply to UC at Riverside — but, I only applied to Stanford — and that, only because my friends were. My dad and his family were all CAL people. Looking back, I was singularly unaware. Hmm. Yes, in many ways I am still unaware.

Still, that time was a fork in the road — UC Riverside or Stanford? How different would I be? How different would my life be if I had gone to another school? And, then comes the question, God, of is there another Me living Life as if it were a Duplicate Bridge Game? That question comes from my just beginning a book on quantum physics and parallel worlds.

I hope not, God! I think One life is challenging enough! Thank You for this GIFT — or is it an assigned responsibility — of Life!

Posted in Uncategorized

Just arrived at Princeton

5:50 p.m.
Good Day, God!

Who KNOW what time it is inside me. But it is around 6 p.m back here in New Jersey. We left home yesterday at 5:15 for the airport and flew over-night directly to Newark — got our rental car and got lost! But, we discovered we were lost right near the Short Hills Mall. So we just nipped in for me to get sandals and a cell phone charger — and Kit to get khaki pants.

I will not go into how stressful it is to be a Navigator without a map. I will just thank You for Your help! You provided a gas station with an attendant who didn’t know, but, who asked a lady at the next pump who knew EXACTLY how to get to Princeton. Then, less we miss Your Hand, the attendant pointed heavenward and said, “God provided!”

So, now here I am in our dorm room — well, actually MY dorm room as Kit’s room is adjoining with a common bathroom — staring out the window — waiting for dinner at 6:30 and wondering if I can stay awake. ZZZZZZZ. How I am looking forward to a good night’s sleep.

I’m afraid, God, that it wouldn’t take much in the way of sleep deprivation to have me spilling secrets. I mean, I would do my BEST — but, sleep deprivation is such an effective torture! And then the whole question of torture brings up Rodney King’s plaintive plea of WHY CAN’T WE JUST GET ALONG?

But, then I think back to my yelling at Kit:left, LEFT, LEFT!!!!!!! etc. So, I suppose You are helping us to do as well as we are. A daunting thought! Now, God, I think a shower will help me get through dinner — and to dinner!

Posted in Uncategorized

Off we go — AGAIN! Living within Limits?

Shafts of Light -- seen while on my way to the airport

Good Morning, God!

The airport, AGAIN? Yes, YES!  I KNOW how fortunate I am to get to travel. And I will enjoy this trip to Kit’s Princeton Reunion. It is just that I am having a bit too much of a “good thing.”

I woke up early — and thought, well, it is TIME TO GET UP in New Jersey — so I got up. Might as well begin the six hour adjustment.

ADJUSTMENTS! What a powerful word! The thing is, God, that MOST of the time I fail to see that 1) there IS an adjustment I need to make and 2) I have the authority and ability to make it!

I understand the necessity of adjusting to a six time-zone change. And, I mostly know how to do it.  I “get” the reality of that adjustment. Ah, but, all the other adjustments that are there waiting for me? Hmm. Yesterday, God, Suz was explaining to me that in Jungian Terms my Inferior Function is Sensate. Now, I LOVE the material world — but Suz pointed out that Sensates live in REALITY — and Intuitives (my dominate function) live in POSSIBILITIES!

Well, yes, God. I am HEARING — if not yet doing too well at HEEDING — the Call to Live in Reality.  OUCH! Reality has so many Sharp Limits!  

Sigh. Here I am, God, nose-to-nose with my need to LIVE within Limits. Only, it is more than that.  I need to Learn to See and Evaluate Pending Limits. Hmm. It’s another BALANCING ACT! Balancing and adjusting both Limits AND Possibilities! Please, God, I need to ask for HELP — and not just from YOU!

Posted in accepting my authority to set limits, accepting my need for help, adjusting, Balancing and adjustments

Transitional Tensions and Back Aches

The Golden Shower Tree by Kokua Co-op

Good Morning, God!

Whooosh!  Yesterday MUST have been more stressful than I realized as my faithful back had painful twinges all day long. I don’t blame my back at all —  because meeting with the 20-person library committee to go over what I have been doing and my suggestions for how else it can be done — that was stressful.

Hmm. I bet my Back is doing my emotional work for me.  Well, yes, God, there is some loss and sadness involved in leaving all these dear people — in leaving my “helping” roles. And, I was going to say BUT . . . and put a good face on it.

But, that isn’t what my Back wants, God.  My Back wants me to stay in my feelings of loss — stay in my feelings of uncertainty. My Back wants me to just sit here and FEEL — feel sad and a little lost.

Dang!  I sure don’t like this FEELING, God!  Every bit of my Inner Warrior is opposed to feeling vulnerable, helpless, sad and weak.

Oh my. It has been Inner Warrior’s job to protect me ever since my childhood days and I am grateful to her. But, now it’s time for ME to deal with My Feelings and Care for Them.

Please, God, Hold my Valiant Inner Spirit. Hold Her and Me — in Your Lap. Help me as I THANK HER for her stalwart courage, loyalty and faithfulness.  Please help me, God, as I invite her to join me in learning new tasks —  new skills — and to grow, with me, into a New Creature. All this, God, with Your Help.

Posted in Feeling our feelings, New Creatures in Christ, Ongoing Transformation, Transitions

Looking Back — Looking Forward — Looking Inward

The Centering Prayer Room at Snowmass

Good Morning, God!

I spent yesterday tidying up for Arcadia. Slowing listing what I do and how else it can be done. Actually, now that I am starting retirement I am wondering WHY didn’t I do this earlier?

But, I know why. Helping appreciative people — having a lovely library in my hands — that is like eating chocolate covered macadamia nuts.  Addictive!

I give You all the credit, God, for helping me decide to do this.  I went to Snowmass thinking I’d retire in a year or two. I came out after 10 days of silent prayer certain my retirement would have to be sooner. And now retiring has taken on a certain flow and I am looking forward to cleaning up and getting “out of the way.”

Ah, but, God, at Snowmass I don’t remember ever thinking about retirement consciously! How did You DO THAT?  My Conscious Mind suspected You were up to something and I’m glad You were. Still, God, it is SURPRISING and a little scary.

How did Abraham pick up and leave Ur? He set aside his old stable life and took off –beginning a journey with no idea of his destination.  That’s impressive, God! No wonder You blessed him. Although, now that I think about it — You took an incredibly LONG TIME to bless him and then asked him to “give up” his promised and long-awaited son.

Sigh. You ARE scary, God! Mostly, I try not to see THAT part of You. I know You LOVE US, God. It is just that Your definition of LOVE is not like our soft and fuzzy definition. Please, I need Your Help dealing with that.

Posted in Centering Prayer, Changing, choices, freedom, Helpful Hards

Hermit Crabs and Me

A Hermit Crab

Good Morning, God!

Wheeeee!  It is official!  I AM RETIRING, retiring AGAIN! I was originally thinking — I’d do it on 2/2012 after 15 years on the job as a Library Consultant. But, it is looking like I’ll be “done” by the end of summer, or sooner. . . And, that feels right, God. It feels, GOOD.

Still, You know how LONG it took me, God, to come to this. How many times did my mother say, “You’re too busy!” How many times did my oldest daughter remonstrate with me on how much time I spent working for others. The truth is, I loved it. I loved buying books. I loved solving computer problems. I loved helping people. Being “sort of in charge”  of a library was a Meaningful Shell for me to “occupy.” Now, I am putting This Shell and This Identity aside.

I SHALL be between shells. I am pretty sure, God, that THIS RETIRING THING is one of the things You and My Body and My Unconscious Mind TALKED ABOUT at the 10 Day Silent Retreat. Because, before the Retreat “retiring” was only “pending at some point in the future.”
Whereas, AFTER the Retreat, retiring has seemed an almost an effortless thing to do .

Now, God, I am sitting here wondering if I will need a new shell? Instead of being BETWEEN shells, might I be between being a Hermit Crab and being . . . something else? Something that doesn’t need — or even want — a shell — a prefab identity?

Hmm. Now that I think about it, God, we Humans are MANY things — designed to Do and Be all sorts of Things. I think I’ll relax, God, and then maybe STRETCH at bit.

Posted in a series of molts and upgrades, adjusting, Balancing and adjustments, Transitions

Space shuttles, Politicians and the Future

Our space shuttle Endeavour blasting off May 16, 2011

Good Morning, God!

I was VERY surprised to learn that all Chinese journalist were barred from attending the launch of our space shuttle last week. Had I missed some major new event?  Was China no longer a “friend?”

It turned out that Congressman Frank Wolf from Virginia is NOT a friend of China, and he is sufficiently powerful to have put an amendment into our Federal Budget that forbids any money allocated to NASA by congress from being used to: “develop, design, plan, promulgate, implement or execute a bilateral policy, program, order, or contract of any kind to participate, collaborate, or coordinate bilaterally in any way with China or any Chinese-owned company.”

Hmm. Why would he do that? True, the Chinese are putting up their own space station — I guess that’s instead of helping with the International Space Station. Are the Chinese worried about their “secrets”, too? I looked a little tiny bit deeper and apparently the congressman  might be concerned about us partnering with China to go to Mars. Going to Mars? I would be happy to go to Mars with the Chinese, the Brazilians, the Indians and any other assorted humans who were eager to go.

But, then, I suspect, God, that I am not properly “fearful.” In Science progress comes about by SHARING what is learned. Somehow in Politics it is all about WINNING. But, the problems we face are not a GAME, God. I think of Benjamin Franklin’s statement — “If we do not hang together, we shall most assuredly hang separately.”  Please help us God. Help us ALL to work together. 

Posted in Common sense and reasonableness, courage, fears, Focus on what unites us, Space stations and the Future

Inner Fire and The Fanciful

A water lily in upper Niu Valley

Good Morning, God!

I know it is “just” the Light, God. but it looks as if there is an Inner Fire glowing inside this Water Lily. Fanciful? Aaah, God, we NEED more fanciful in our Lives.

Fanciful like Fairies and Elves and even “Things that go Bump in the Night.” The Fanciful loosens us up.  “Fanciful” keeps us aware that there is MORE than what our eyes and ears and even Science can apprehend.

It was a Great Moment in my life, God, when I realized what a small portion of the electromagnetic spectrum we actually see.  Such a SMALL part of only ONE way of experiencing Reality. Humbling! Delightful!

Hmm. Well, Yes, good point, God. Enjoying feeling Humbled might very well depend on our degree of TRUST in You.  Mind You, God, after losing Patty at 18 I don’t trust that You will keep me pain free. But, I do Trust in Your Power to Transform and Redeem! I have experienced it.

Nothing is Impossible to You — and while that doesn’t mean that You will always (or even Often) give us what we WANT — it does mean that YOU are WITH US in WHATEVER!  With us. In us. Redeeming and transforming both how we experience and interpret events. Amazing.

You LONG to light that Inner Fire inside each one of us. Or, perhaps it is better to say You HAVE put that Inner Fire in Each of Us — and want us to know it is there and honor it — in us and in Others. Thank YOU, God!

Posted in Adventures, an invitation to abundant life, beauty, Expand my Heart

Men (and Women) at Work

Men at Work

Good Morning, God!

There is something fascinating about men at work. I was going to say “people” at work — but, then I stopped to wonder — would  “women” at work be as interesting to me?

Hmm. Now days, God, it COULD be a woman up there working. But — now that I stop to think about it — I am not fascinated by “traditional women’s work.” Hmm. A Voice from deep down inside me replies — women have been stuck with BORING work.

That, at least, feels like the reality I grew up with. My mother — a very bright and able woman — didn’t work outside the home. What would she have DONE without reading and scrabble and bridge and friends?

As for myself, God, HAVING to go to work when we moved to (expensive) Hawaii opened up my world. I LOVED work. I loved working with other people. I loved having to THINK! And I loved working on projects that — more or less — stayed done.

Women’s At-Home-Work, even now, doesn’t stay done. Most of it is part of the great flow of daily duties. Shopping, Cooking, Cleaning up, Doing Dishes, Sweeping, Dusting, Mending. Now, God, all of these things CAN be seen as meaningful — can be enjoyed — can be done purposefully.  Hmm.

This is taking me back, God, and I am sitting here feeling ever-so-slightly defective. I am considering this feeling, God, and I reject it!  I was not a good match for my earlier time and place — but, I was NOT defective.  Such a harsh word.  Diverse is so much healthier a concept than defective.

Suffice it to say, God — I am very thankful for my current Time and Place!

Posted in Definitions, Diversity, gender universes, generating options, gratitude, social support networks, Work

BEING Back Home

pink ginger in sunlight

Good Morning, God!

I’m HOME!  This morning I went for a jog off to the post office — two miles, or so, of being BACK in Hawaii.

First the pink ginger — before I even got out to the street. And then a spider lily that spilled forth its petals with JOY. Yellow hibiscus and even oleanders called out to be admired.

I was back in my Technicolor World, God! Inside buildings, which seems to be where I spend a lot of my time, it is easy to forget COLOR and FLOWERS

spider lily with accent threads

In Colorado, they had only had three days of sunlight in the whole month of April. Hmmm. We did “bring” the sun and the snow covered mountains and tiny bluebells were delightful. Even the Spring Snow that blanketed the ground on our last day was a thrill.

It was all beautiful and enchanting. But, I am so thankful to be living in Hawaii! Not just the flowers and colors and climate, God.

I sort of feel we in Hawaii  “discovered” diversity. We have no “majority.” We are ALL MINORITIES. And we belong together.

Now, when I was in LA, Suzy and I did the marvelous ethnic restaurants of LA. And the mix of peoples is so much richer than when I was growing up in LA. The World is coming to us, God, and bringing Great Food.

But, in LA there are still neighborhood that are distinctly Ethnic. In Honolulu we are much more interwoven — and I love it!  It is so GOOD to be home, God!

Posted in Colors, connections, Diversity

Blogs I Follow
No Days Adhesives

Stained Glass, Glass Fusing and Mosaic Adhesives

Brené Brown

chatting and sometimes, listening

Rachel Naomi Remen

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A Moment with God

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Sacred Dance Guild Journal

Since 1958 articles by members & guests offer news about activities, history, Sacred Dance practices, profiles of Sacred Dancers, choreography, images & illustrations.

Victoria Paulsen

How to Step In -- Substitute Teaching

No Days Adhesives

Stained Glass, Glass Fusing and Mosaic Adhesives

Brené Brown

chatting and sometimes, listening

Rachel Naomi Remen

chatting and sometimes, listening

A Moment with God

chatting and sometimes, listening

Sacred Dance Guild Journal

Since 1958 articles by members & guests offer news about activities, history, Sacred Dance practices, profiles of Sacred Dancers, choreography, images & illustrations.

Victoria Paulsen

How to Step In -- Substitute Teaching