Off we go — AGAIN! Living within Limits?

Posted on May 25, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Shafts of Light -- seen while on my way to the airport

Good Morning, God!

The airport, AGAIN? Yes, YES! I KNOW how fortunate I am to get to travel. And I will enjoy this trip to Kit’s Princeton Reunion. It is just that I am having a bit too much of a “good thing.”

I woke up early — and thought, well, it is TIME TO GET UP in New Jersey — so I got up. Might as well begin the six hour adjustment.

ADJUSTMENTS! What a powerful word! The thing is, God, that MOST of the time I fail to see that 1) there IS an adjustment I need to make and 2) I have the authority and ability to make it!

I understand the necessity of adjusting to a six time-zone change. And, I mostly know how to do it. I “get” the reality of that adjustment. Ah, but, all the other adjustments that are there waiting for me? Hmm. Yesterday, God, Suz was explaining to me that in Jungian Terms my Inferior Function is Sensate. Now, I LOVE the material world — but Suz pointed out that Sensates live in REALITY — and Intuitives (my dominate function) live in POSSIBILITIES!

Well, yes, God. I am HEARING — if not yet doing too well at HEEDING — the Call to Live in Reality. OUCH! Reality has so many Sharp Limits!

Sigh. Here I am, God, nose-to-nose with my need to LIVE within Limits. Only, it is more than that. I need to Learn to See and Evaluate Pending Limits. Hmm. It’s another BALANCING ACT! Balancing and adjusting both Limits AND Possibilities! Please, God, I need to ask for HELP — and not just from YOU!

Posted in accepting my authority to set limits, accepting my need for help, adjusting, Balancing and adjustments

Transitional Tensions and Back Aches

Posted on May 24, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

The Golden Shower Tree by Kokua Co-op

Good Morning, God!

Whooosh! Yesterday MUST have been more stressful than I realized as my faithful back had painful twinges all day long. I don’t blame my back at all — because meeting with the 20-person library committee to go over what I have been doing and my suggestions for how else it can be done — that was stressful.

Hmm. I bet my Back is doing my emotional work for me. Well, yes, God, there is some loss and sadness involved in leaving all these dear people — in leaving my “helping” roles. And, I was going to say BUT . . . and put a good face on it.

But, that isn’t what my Back wants, God. My Back wants me to stay in my feelings of loss — stay in my feelings of uncertainty. My Back wants me to just sit here and FEEL — feel sad and a little lost.

Dang! I sure don’t like this FEELING, God! Every bit of my Inner Warrior is opposed to feeling vulnerable, helpless, sad and weak.

Oh my. It has been Inner Warrior’s job to protect me ever since my childhood days and I am grateful to her. But, now it’s time for ME to deal with My Feelings and Care for Them.

Please, God, Hold my Valiant Inner Spirit. Hold Her and Me — in Your Lap. Help me as I THANK HER for her stalwart courage, loyalty and faithfulness. Please help me, God, as I invite her to join me in learning new tasks — new skills — and to grow, with me, into a New Creature. All this, God, with Your Help.

Posted in Feeling our feelings, New Creatures in Christ, Ongoing Transformation, Transitions

Looking Back — Looking Forward — Looking Inward

Posted on May 23, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

The Centering Prayer Room at Snowmass

Good Morning, God!

I spent yesterday tidying up for Arcadia. Slowing listing what I do and how else it can be done. Actually, now that I am starting retirement I am wondering WHY didn’t I do this earlier?

But, I know why. Helping appreciative people — having a lovely library in my hands — that is like eating chocolate covered macadamia nuts. Addictive!

I give You all the credit, God, for helping me decide to do this. I went to Snowmass thinking I’d retire in a year or two. I came out after 10 days of silent prayer certain my retirement would have to be sooner. And now retiring has taken on a certain flow and I am looking forward to cleaning up and getting “out of the way.”

Ah, but, God, at Snowmass I don’t remember ever thinking about retirement consciously! How did You DO THAT? My Conscious Mind suspected You were up to something and I’m glad You were. Still, God, it is SURPRISING and a little scary.

How did Abraham pick up and leave Ur? He set aside his old stable life and took off –beginning a journey with no idea of his destination. That’s impressive, God! No wonder You blessed him. Although, now that I think about it — You took an incredibly LONG TIME to bless him and then asked him to “give up” his promised and long-awaited son.

Sigh. You ARE scary, God! Mostly, I try not to see THAT part of You. I know You LOVE US, God. It is just that Your definition of LOVE is not like our soft and fuzzy definition. Please, I need Your Help dealing with that.

Posted in Centering Prayer, Changing, choices, freedom, Helpful Hards

Hermit Crabs and Me

Posted on May 22, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

A Hermit Crab

Good Morning, God!

Wheeeee! It is official! I AM RETIRING, retiring AGAIN! I was originally thinking — I’d do it on 2/2012 after 15 years on the job as a Library Consultant. But, it is looking like I’ll be “done” by the end of summer, or sooner. . . And, that feels right, God. It feels, GOOD.

Still, You know how LONG it took me, God, to come to this. How many times did my mother say, “You’re too busy!” How many times did my oldest daughter remonstrate with me on how much time I spent working for others. The truth is, I loved it. I loved buying books. I loved solving computer problems. I loved helping people. Being “sort of in charge” of a library was a Meaningful Shell for me to “occupy.” Now, I am putting This Shell and This Identity aside.

I SHALL be between shells. I am pretty sure, God, that THIS RETIRING THING is one of the things You and My Body and My Unconscious Mind TALKED ABOUT at the 10 Day Silent Retreat. Because, before the Retreat “retiring” was only “pending at some point in the future.”
Whereas, AFTER the Retreat, retiring has seemed an almost an effortless thing to do .

Now, God, I am sitting here wondering if I will need a new shell? Instead of being BETWEEN shells, might I be between being a Hermit Crab and being . . . something else? Something that doesn’t need — or even want — a shell — a prefab identity?

Hmm. Now that I think about it, God, we Humans are MANY things — designed to Do and Be all sorts of Things. I think I’ll relax, God, and then maybe STRETCH at bit.

Posted in a series of molts and upgrades, adjusting, Balancing and adjustments, Transitions

Space shuttles, Politicians and the Future

Posted on May 21, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Our space shuttle Endeavour blasting off May 16, 2011

Good Morning, God!

I was VERY surprised to learn that all Chinese journalist were barred from attending the launch of our space shuttle last week. Had I missed some major new event? Was China no longer a “friend?”

It turned out that Congressman Frank Wolf from Virginia is NOT a friend of China, and he is sufficiently powerful to have put an amendment into our Federal Budget that forbids any money allocated to NASA by congress from being used to: “develop, design, plan, promulgate, implement or execute a bilateral policy, program, order, or contract of any kind to participate, collaborate, or coordinate bilaterally in any way with China or any Chinese-owned company.”

Hmm. Why would he do that? True, the Chinese are putting up their own space station — I guess that’s instead of helping with the International Space Station. Are the Chinese worried about their “secrets”, too? I looked a little tiny bit deeper and apparently the congressman might be concerned about us partnering with China to go to Mars. Going to Mars? I would be happy to go to Mars with the Chinese, the Brazilians, the Indians and any other assorted humans who were eager to go.

But, then, I suspect, God, that I am not properly “fearful.” In Science progress comes about by SHARING what is learned. Somehow in Politics it is all about WINNING. But, the problems we face are not a GAME, God. I think of Benjamin Franklin’s statement — “If we do not hang together, we shall most assuredly hang separately.” Please help us God. Help us ALL to work together.

Posted in Common sense and reasonableness, courage, fears, Focus on what unites us, Space stations and the Future

Inner Fire and The Fanciful

Posted on May 20, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

A water lily in upper Niu Valley

Good Morning, God!

I know it is “just” the Light, God. but it looks as if there is an Inner Fire glowing inside this Water Lily. Fanciful? Aaah, God, we NEED more fanciful in our Lives.

Fanciful like Fairies and Elves and even “Things that go Bump in the Night.” The Fanciful loosens us up. “Fanciful” keeps us aware that there is MORE than what our eyes and ears and even Science can apprehend.

It was a Great Moment in my life, God, when I realized what a small portion of the electromagnetic spectrum we actually see. Such a SMALL part of only ONE way of experiencing Reality. Humbling! Delightful!

Hmm. Well, Yes, good point, God. Enjoying feeling Humbled might very well depend on our degree of TRUST in You. Mind You, God, after losing Patty at 18 I don’t trust that You will keep me pain free. But, I do Trust in Your Power to Transform and Redeem! I have experienced it.

Nothing is Impossible to You — and while that doesn’t mean that You will always (or even Often) give us what we WANT — it does mean that YOU are WITH US in WHATEVER! With us. In us. Redeeming and transforming both how we experience and interpret events. Amazing.

You LONG to light that Inner Fire inside each one of us. Or, perhaps it is better to say You HAVE put that Inner Fire in Each of Us — and want us to know it is there and honor it — in us and in Others. Thank YOU, God!

Posted in Adventures, an invitation to abundant life, beauty, Expand my Heart

BEING Back Home

Posted on May 18, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

pink ginger in sunlight

Good Morning, God!

I’m HOME! This morning I went for a jog off to the post office — two miles, or so, of being BACK in Hawaii.

First the pink ginger — before I even got out to the street. And then a spider lily that spilled forth its petals with JOY. Yellow hibiscus and even oleanders called out to be admired.

I was back in my Technicolor World, God! Inside buildings, which seems to be where I spend a lot of my time, it is easy to forget COLOR and FLOWERS

spider lily with accent threads

In Colorado, they had only had three days of sunlight in the whole month of April. Hmmm. We did “bring” the sun and the snow covered mountains and tiny bluebells were delightful. Even the Spring Snow that blanketed the ground on our last day was a thrill.

It was all beautiful and enchanting. But, I am so thankful to be living in Hawaii! Not just the flowers and colors and climate, God.

I sort of feel we in Hawaii “discovered” diversity. We have no “majority.” We are ALL MINORITIES. And we belong together.

Now, when I was in LA, Suzy and I did the marvelous ethnic restaurants of LA. And the mix of peoples is so much richer than when I was growing up in LA. The World is coming to us, God, and bringing Great Food.

But, in LA there are still neighborhood that are distinctly Ethnic. In Honolulu we are much more interwoven — and I love it! It is so GOOD to be home, God!

Posted in Colors, connections, Diversity

Holy Places and Separate Spaces

Posted on May 17, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

The Chapel after mass in Easter Season

Good Morning, God!

I’m up EARLY and have Centered and decided I would take a few more minutes — staying conscious of Your Presence — before going back to bed.

At my Silent Retreat in the Benedictine Retreat Center at Snowmass, Colorado I walked down to this Chapel every morning to partake of communion — very like the communion of my Episcopal childhood — and I LONGED to take a photo of the glorious stained glass window. But, it didn’t seem “permissible” to take a photo in a “sacred space.”

Perhaps, that is why some indigenous people regard having their picture taken as having part of their soul stolen? Some primal notion that an attempt to “capture” the image of a thing is to diminish its essence?

I DID ask Father Joseph if I could photograph the lovely stained glass window and he walked back with me and took a photo too. It felt good to have an “escort.” Although, now that I think about it, I didn’t mention putting the photo on the web. Hmm.

One of the JOYS, God, of this Retreat was that I was helped out of my “separate space” and into “holy places.” We 18 strangers BECAME a Fellowship — fellow pilgrims on our Inner Journeys. Not that we talked about our inner journeys. Indeed, God, INNER journeys tend to leave our Poor Dear Conscious Minds behind! So HOW could we “discuss” them? Ah, perhaps the silence was to keep us from the futility of trying?

Meanwhile, my Conscious Mind has only a handful of Images gleaned from that Inner Journey. Ah, but that I have ANY is a gift from You, God!

Posted in images, Inner Journeys, intentional and invited sacred space, Transitions

The Prairie Dog and Me

Posted on May 16, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

The Prairie Dog on my lanai

Good Morning, God!

I’m VERY THANKFUL for my 10-day silent retreat. Not totally silent, to be sure — but silence removed the obligation to talk to my fellow retreatants — so, even at dinner, when conversation was allowed, it was very relaxed.

Talking is pretty much overrated anyway. Words are a HEAD THING. I was awed by how much I “connected” to people just by sitting with them in silent prayer — three hours a day. Even now, I can FEEL the people next to me and around me in the Centering Prayer Room.

That “BEING WITH-NESS” completely eroded the fleeting negative judgments that my mind occasionally formed. I wonder if just sitting together in silence might be a path toward peace? Or at least toward a fundamental / basic appreciation of one another? Hmm. And, oneself, too.

Centering Prayer is without words. Words and thoughts and images come — but they are intended to be gently released — and sometimes I did that. But, once or twice it became very clear to me that YOU were “talking” to my Unconscious or my Innermost Being — talking about ME, the Conscious Ego Self — and I could feel That Self getting paranoid. Because You were discussing needed “changes.”

Changes are coming, God. Changes I desire, mostly. But, change is hard. And part of me wants to “freeze” and hope You won’t notice me — just like that little prairie dog. Please, God, help me to trust You MORE — trust You enough to Sit with You in Silence.

Posted in Centering Prayer, Changing, Silence, Transitions, Trusting God