On Being Between — Travel and Transitions

Posted on April 23, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

The Gold Dragon of Pern

Good Morning, God!

This morning Kit and I fly back home — spending most of the day BETWEEN Tucson and Honolulu.

I feel “between” God. I think I am in the middle of a “molt” which tends to make me grumpy. I am neither who I was — nor who I am going to be. It is not a “comfortable” feeling, God.

Being “between” brings to mind the science fiction / fantasy of Anne McCaffrey in which the “dragons” of Pern — a far flung planet — could “travel” by going “between.” Between was apparently another dimension. What’s fun, God, is that there really do seem to be MORE dimensions than we (humans) experience. Your Creation is AWESOME!

And this is Holy Saturday too. Somehow being”between” on Holy Saturday seems appropriate. Jesus must have been “between” on that Saturday — between Good Friday and Easter! And who knows exactly where.

There is so much mystery in this World and in The Universe. So much we don’t know! And then there are all the facts we “know” that aren’t true. For example, in The Brain That Changes Itself, the author tells how our brains CAN grown new brain cells and how that discovery overturned 100 years of scientific dogma. I love it, God, when Science overturns FORMER FACTS.

That’s the sort of thing that makes for Humility — if one stops and ponders it. Hmm. There’s yet another Between, God, — Between Humility and Hubris. And, now that I think about it, our cultural “heros” or at least “C.E.O.” are clearly on the Hubris End.

All that Hubris scares me. My only hope, God, is that — WITH YOUR HELP — Our Western Culture can be undergoing a Molt, too. Between where we are — and where You Call us to be.

Posted in Between, Holy Saturday, setting my life in context, The difficulty of changing, Transitions

Thoughts on Suitcases and Life

Posted on April 22, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

This is NOT my suitcase: it is from a blog by Jill Ann Duling

Good Morning, God!

I have always marveled at Light Packers. So, finally, on this trip I bought a small carry-on size suitcase and set about packing light. Kit explained that it was just two “Long Weekends.”

That IS true, God, but Boston’s COLD and Tucson’s NOT!

But, I am officially giving up. On our “long week-end” in Boston, Kit asked me on each of the first 3 days if he could borrow my small scissors — which are not allowed on carry-ons. And, so it went!

But, this exercise in futility and frustration was not without benefit. I learned that I pack until full. I do this with suitcases, and my Days and my Stomach. None of this could be considered wise — or sensible — or healthy.

In looking around for possible “THINGS TO BLAME” God, I have decided to begin with our Western Concept of Aesthetics where Negative Space is not seen as having its own lovely Presence — but as only an EMPTY space to fill. Alas, God!, That’s my mindset.

And that Mindset still HOLDS SWAY — even after I have enjoyed and benefited from Centering Prayer, and books on assorted Spiritual Disciplines — most of which extoll LESS — as in FASTING, SILENCE, SOLITUDE and SABBATH KEEPING.

Hmmm. I’m tempted to write myself off as HOPELESS! But, this is Good Friday, God. A Day that reminds me that You do not give up on us. You CONTINUE to LOVE. You CONTINUE to CALL TO US — COME HOME — ALL is FORGIVEN.

So, here I am — my new intermediate suitcase ready to be packed — next month off for a Silent Retreat — 10 days of letting You repack me!

Posted in accepting my ability to REDESIGN, being a Slow Learner, Changing, Good Friday, Rethinking

Palm Sunday and Holy Week

Posted on April 21, 2011 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

Palm Sunday at Trinity Church, Boston

Good Morning, God!

We are IN Holy Week, God, and I am so THANKFUL. I love my Central Union Church at home, God. But, I was raised an Episcopalian, so Holy Communion is so much more meaningful to me in the Episcopal Church.

Imagine the JOY of having “real” communion on Palm Sunday! And this was a very special Palm Sunday service, God, as it purposefully anticipated Good Friday.

After the communion 4 young people carried a large wooden cross — in silence — up to the communion area and after standing for several minutes they laid it on the floor. Then the congregation could choose to leave — or to go up and leave our palm branches resting against the cross — a powerfully symbolic act.

But, perhaps, the most moving part of the service was the First Reading — a quote from Archbishop Oscar Romero, martyr. “The church, entrusted with the earth’s glory, believes that in each person is the Creator’s image and that everyone who tramples it offends God. . . . Whoever tortures a human being, whoever abuses a human being, whoever outrages a human being abuses God’s image, and the church takes as its own that cross, that martyrdom.” (from The Violence of Love.)

Oh, God, it is so easy to understand how he was shot and killed. Those who were responsible for the torture and killing of so many — could not bear the pain of sitting in church and hearing Your Truth. Surely, if those who do a “kindness” to the poor do it to Jesus — so too, those who do a “harm” to the poor do it to Jesus. Aiee! Let us all HEAR THOSE WORDS! Begin with me, God!

Posted in Compassion, courage, Holy Week, LOVE, Palm Sunday, Peace

Into God’s Courts with Praise!

Posted on April 20, 2011 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

Just off the plane -- Kit and Sandy

Good morning, God!

Here we are in Tucson Visiting with Family — and RESTING! And Thankful!

Do You ever find thankfulness boring? Hmmm. It feels as if You are saying THANKFULNESS is just the Gate — Come into my Courts WITH PRAISE.

Yes! That is what the Psalms say! I keep forgetting that PRAISE is so key. Maybe because I am not comfortable with praise? Affirmations, YES! But, praise seems what one does to a child — when we praise a Superior it congers up “Kissing Up” and flattering.

Suddenly, it is as if I stand on the THRESHOLD of SPACE — standing here in my small portion of Time and Space — and all I can “see” are stars and galaxies and COLORS and LIGHT! AWE! GLORY!

And I take a step back into my “reality” — surely, God, we cannot see Your Face and Live! But, if we but “see” the Heavens — we see Your GLORY! And what possible response is there other than PRAISE!

Oh, well, yes. There is THAT. We can “Turn Away” and ignore That Threshold — The Heaven that are on “The Other Side.” And, do I “hear” You say “That is what Death is about — to help us Turn Toward You?”

Gosh, God, this is so far from where I “started out to go.” I was so immersed in HERE AND NOW that I forgot Our Context! I begin to understand that Thankfulness is mostly about here and now.

But, it IS also A GATEWAY. There is always an opportunity to Turn Toward You and Your Awesome MORE. Stepping into that “more” is to enter into Your Courts WITH PRAISE. Praise YOU, oh GOD. PRAISE YOU!!!

Posted in Praise, thankfulness, Thanksgiving!, the essential nature of hope, The Flow of God's Love

Alive, Well and in Second Place

Posted on April 19, 2011 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

Kit being awarded his 2nd place trophy in the Boston Marathon

Good Afternoon, God!

Actually, I have no idea WHAT time it is — well, OK 2:00 p.m. in Denver which is where we are for a few more minutes.

THANK YOU! Before Kit runs a marathon it becomes really clear to me that I just want him ALIVE and WELL at the end. So, to have him finish 2nd in his age group was ICING on the CAKE!

I think Boston must be the oldest marathon in the US. Maybe the world? It’s full of prestige and mystic. And, when Kit started running it never occurred to us that ONE DAY he might qualify to run in the Boston Marathon — certainly not PLACE.

Marathons really do require GRIT! Grit is one of those lovely things to HAVE in the abstract — but, sad to say, God, grit is uncomfortable in real life. And those of us who LIKE comfort probably aren’t going to acquire grit. Ah well. I didn’t REALLY want it.

I’m now here in Tucson — talking about my new iPad 2 with Mark — happily waiting for lessons from him! Meanwhile, Kit is FINALLY online. How good it is to be with FAMILY — only missing Suz — to CELEBRATE TOGETHER. I have SO MANY THINGS / PEOPLE to be THANKFUL FOR! I’m full and overflowing with gratitude, God!

Posted in family visits, gratitude, grit

Kit off to the buses — for the Boston Marathon

Posted on April 18, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Kit -- off to the buses at 6:15 a.m.

Good Morning, God!

Aiee! My Sweetie Pie is off to run a Marathon! And not just ANY Marathon — the Boston Marathon!

I’m Very Proud of him, God, as I should be. But, this is also my “love gift” to him — that I send him off joyfully — because I know he LOVES it.

As You know, God, I am not a big risk taker. And when it is Kit, I would prefer no risk at all. But, that is not what life is about. Risk is everywhere — I just don’t like seeing it.

Yet, how would we Pray, God — without awareness? How would we Trust in You, God — without knowing the Path we walk? So, God, I AM PRAYING for Kit to have a good SAFE run! And, yes, God, all of the other runners, too.

58 of them are from Hawaii and they will be spending the time from when the buses get them up to Hopkinton until they leave in their Wave at the Hawaii House. Kit’s wave leaves at 10:40 a.m. He will be praying with one of the youngest runners — who asked him to do that. Thank You, God! I got to meet her and two friends as we walked across the Gardens — bless her too!

One more thought about “loved ones at risk” God: it makes me realize just HOW IMPORTANT Kit are to me! It is all too easy, God, to take Loved Ones for granted. Risk makes Love CLEAR to us.

Life here, is not forever, God. Please let that awareness make me value it more. Ah, God, please increase my GRATITUDE!

Posted in gratitude, LOVE, Risk, Running the Boston Marathon

In Boston — with Positive Protective Limits — and Kit

Posted on April 16, 2011 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

: South Station, Boston as seen from our cab

Good Morning, God!

And it IS Morning here in Boston! Mr. Sunshine (AKA Kit) woke me up at 9:00 a.m. EST. He is now making me a SECOND cup of coffee.

It is in the 30’s here and as Kit observed — we would NOT have made good LapLanders. He is now down for breakfast leaving me to ease into the Day. SLOWLY.

The Good News, God, is that I am NOT Marching Along Side My Wonderful Husband — but semi-moving — at my own pace. This is the equivalent of the Reformation. Or, as I told “Pope Kit” I have become a “Protestant” — referring to all of the “things” Kit gives up for Lent — things which up until THIS YEAR I would join him in. Because, afterall, God, such a wonderful husband deserved no less. Kit is STILL WONDERFUL!

But, somehow, this year, I am not UP to more External Limits in my Life. Curious, God, how I never understood that Limits come in a VAST ASSORTMENT. I need more Positive Protective Limits in my Life. Somehow, I missed knowing that there even WAS a category called Positive Protective Limits. How sad is THAT!

I guess I thought Limits were Like Tall Buildings to be Leapt in a Single Bound — like Superman or Super Woman — the comic book heros of my childhood. Hmmm. Yes, that’s right. And then there was that “faster than a speeding bullet” thing, too. Cultural Value of a sort, I suppose, God. DELIVER ME, PLEASE, God!

And, it slowly comes to me, that protecting myself means I will not be generating so many Invisible Rocks of Resentment. A “good thing” for both of us!

Posted in pondering the purpose of Lent, Positive Protective Limits, responsibility, rest, Rocks of Resentment

On Being Between — Honolulu and Boston

Posted on April 15, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

The beautiful Between: Concourse B & C at OHare

Good Whenever, God!

I am HAPPILY still IN BETWEEN Honolulu and Boston — My Body is in Boston — and it is slowly “gathering” the rest of me.

This is a NEW experience, God. Normally, I “Soldier On” following along in Kit’s wake. But, Kit marches — or runs — to a Different Drummer.

Right now, My Body isn’t marching. It is in BED where it is apparently determined to stay.

Kit, has now eaten at the California Pizza Kitchen down the road and is IN THE EXPO — in his element!

There is a lot to be said for listening to one’s own body, God. I might even say, HONORING one’s body. I shall be a much more cheerful companion after yet another nap — or maybe just a good rest.

But, this is about more than just Rest, God. This is about self-respect. It is about my Conscious Mind actually Hearing and Respecting the needs of my Body. Hmm. I am pretty sure my Body is going to be a more Cheerful Companion for me if I continue to Hear Her.

Please, God, don’t let me forget this lesson! I am so eager to please Kit that I overlook caring for myself. Oops! Let me restate that! I am so happy to please OTHERS that I forget that I have responsibilities toward myself.

I suppose my attitude is part of being a Woman and part of coming from a Dutiful Warrior Culture. Actually, I admire both cultures. I just want Your Help, God, to re-establish a Better Balance!

Posted in A God given diversity, Balancing and adjustments, hearing myself, relationships, respect, Self-Respect

Getting READY to GO!

Posted on April 14, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

My office, last night, in major disarray

Good Morning, God!

We FLY OFF FOR BOSTON TODAY!

YIKES! I must say, God, I am not the calm, cool traveler. Hmm, maybe I’m not the calm cool stay-at-home person either. Oh well.

I am excited to be going and very thankful that we don’t leave for the airport until the afternoon. Still to do is buying a new hose and setting up my automatic watering system for all my plants.

And, of course, seeing my Mom! She is saying how much she will miss me! I told her RIGHT! AND THAT IS HOW MUCH I WILL MISS YOU — SO EAT and TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF!!!! Ah, God, that is one of the HARD things about leaving. It foreshadows other leavings.

It’s funny, God, how when we are young we don’t “notice” transitions. Or rather, transitions are filled with excitement as “growing up” milestones. So, now are we “growing down?” Hmmm. Yes, No and maybe! Working in a retirement residence I see transitions that mean accommodating to physical problems and other losses. But, I can also see that in the very adaptation itself there is real growth UP.

Ah, God, this Great Gift of Life is one darn Transition after another. And I have two thoughts: the first is that Life is such a BIG GIFT that it can be “diminished” in many ways — and Life is still a Gift. My second thought is that adaptation and change are not “mistakes” but the “game plan.”

So, onward I go, God. Hoping to appreciate that often reluctant adaptation known as COPING. Putting my Life in Your Hands and in Your Loving Context really helps! Thank YOU, God!

Posted in adjusting, Adventures, Changing, Transitions