Good Morning, God!
I’m VERY THANKFUL for my 10-day silent retreat. Not totally silent, to be sure — but silence removed the obligation to talk to my fellow retreatants — so, even at dinner, when conversation was allowed, it was very relaxed.
Talking is pretty much overrated anyway. Words are a HEAD THING. I was awed by how much I “connected” to people just by sitting with them in silent prayer — three hours a day. Even now, I can FEEL the people next to me and around me in the Centering Prayer Room.
That “BEING WITH-NESS” completely eroded the fleeting negative judgments that my mind occasionally formed. I wonder if just sitting together in silence might be a path toward peace? Or at least toward a fundamental / basic appreciation of one another? Hmm. And, oneself, too.
Centering Prayer is without words. Words and thoughts and images come — but they are intended to be gently released — and sometimes I did that. But, once or twice it became very clear to me that YOU were “talking” to my Unconscious or my Innermost Being — talking about ME, the Conscious Ego Self — and I could feel That Self getting paranoid. Because You were discussing needed “changes.”
Changes are coming, God. Changes I desire, mostly. But, change is hard. And part of me wants to “freeze” and hope You won’t notice me — just like that little prairie dog. Please, God, help me to trust You MORE — trust You enough to Sit with You in Silence.