With Patty, back in 1981, I had stayed by her side day and night for the four or so days it took her to leave us. But, my mother’s slide was too gradual. Too slow. And so I wasn’t with her when she left. Or perhaps I should say that my Body was not with her? I am becoming aware that a huge part of my inner self was with her — and is only slowly returning to me.
For nine years my mom became, a major focus — and for Kit, too, as he visited her almost as much as I did. At first, the loss of my mom, a beloved focal point, was disorienting. My Center was missing. Bad enough to be grieving, God, without feeling aimless.
Give Sorrow Words, the Grief that Does Not Speak,
Whispers to the Or’ Fraught Heart and Bids it Break.
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, Expand my Heart
, processing on deeper levels
I’m not sure our society or our scientists understand the Physical Cellular Connection between Momthers and Daughters. We share mitochondria. We share the deepest possible physical connection.
But, in addition, I am feeling more and more a part of The Web of Life. More than ever I sense that it extends further and deeper than we humans can begin to imagine.
I am quite certain that as sins go mine could be worse. But, that misses the point! The point IS that they are Mine and they are tired of being ignored and locked up. They want to come up and be dealt with — or at least acknowledged. That requires of me both personal Courage and personal Respect.
It was just a few weeks ago that You had Patty come (dream or vision or ?) and tell her, “Don’t be afraid, Grandma. It’s [dying] not so bad.” I do have to remind mom of that. But when I do, she always lights up and smiles. She remembers it!
While visiting our daughter Sandy in Arizona, I was captivated by her cherry tomato plants — growing in pots!