Good Afternoon God,
Time to reflect . . . time to give thanks . . . time to celebrate BEING here NOW. Here on Kit’s birthday. My grandson Ian ordered Birthday Pancakes when we went out for breakfast this morning. He is just back from a week in LA with the Miracle Project and his Auntie Suz. And his folks got back this morning from a super vacation in Hawaii. All of Sandy’s family — Mark too — Being in the same city is such a blessing. Daughter Suzanne connects via phone.
Kit and I arrived two years ago this month — on July 13th. It took around a month for what little furniture we brought to arrive. So we lived SIMPLY and mostly CLUTTER FREE. A new bed and old (Kit’s aunt’s dishes) had arrived before us . . . plus sheets. The POD holding our worldly goods arrived while Kit and I plus Sandy and Suz were at my brother’s wife’s Celebration of Life in Costa Mesa California. Mark (younger grandson) did a masterful job of overseeing the unpacking and positioning of our possessions and even arranging the books in the bookcases!!! Alas, I was too exhausted to properly appreciate his loving help.
But, that sort of narrative could go on forever! The reason I took the photo was to mark how the plants marked my restabilizing. And, if there is ONE WORD to describe such horrendous LOSS — it is DESTABILIZING!!!
Sandy and Dave gave me two anthurium for Christmas. And I added a third plus fiddle leaf figs. Plus ferns and two more fiddleleaf figs on the west wall. Taking care of them, after Kit died — 12/27/24 — gave me a caregiving outlet. Then as I entered the second year of my Bereavement — I felt ready to extend my “presence” to my outside yard. I wanted wanting some COLOR to help block and soften the stark white side of my neighbor’s townhome. And they are already helping!
Being without my beloved “Lovey Bear” after 65 years has resulted in a Slow Dissolving of all sorts of things. Many Routines and at least One Large Layer of my Identity have dissolved. I am still ME! But I am a Self that is Molting. In Process! Doing an incredibly slow flux into new ways of expressing myself — my Selves. As I pause now to reflect — I find this all fascinating. Even if it is almost impossible for me to truly grasp what is happening in me.
I can feel myself expanding in a comical SLOW MO. . . .sort of way.
Story teller,
A Moment with God 
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