Good Morning, God!
Wheeeee! It is official! I AM RETIRING, retiring AGAIN! I was originally thinking — I’d do it on 2/2012 after 15 years on the job as a Library Consultant. But, it is looking like I’ll be “done” by the end of summer, or sooner. . . And, that feels right, God. It feels, GOOD.
Still, You know how LONG it took me, God, to come to this. How many times did my mother say, “You’re too busy!” How many times did my oldest daughter remonstrate with me on how much time I spent working for others. The truth is, I loved it. I loved buying books. I loved solving computer problems. I loved helping people. Being “sort of in charge” of a library was a Meaningful Shell for me to “occupy.” Now, I am putting This Shell and This Identity aside.
I SHALL be between shells. I am pretty sure, God, that THIS RETIRING THING is one of the things You and My Body and My Unconscious Mind TALKED ABOUT at the 10 Day Silent Retreat. Because, before the Retreat “retiring” was only “pending at some point in the future.”
Whereas, AFTER the Retreat, retiring has seemed an almost an effortless thing to do .
Now, God, I am sitting here wondering if I will need a new shell? Instead of being BETWEEN shells, might I be between being a Hermit Crab and being . . . something else? Something that doesn’t need — or even want — a shell — a prefab identity?
Hmm. Now that I think about it, God, we Humans are MANY things — designed to Do and Be all sorts of Things. I think I’ll relax, God, and then maybe STRETCH at bit.