Oceans and Wetlands — Certainty and Ambiguity

Posted on October 12, 2011 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

Moanalua Bay with Koko Head in the distance

Good Morning, God!

This is my view of Moanalua Bay while stopped at a red light. Up until maybe two or three days ago, I had four categories for Hawaii Kai: 1) Ocean 2) Moanalua Bay 3) Marina 4) Land.

But, my Godson, Shane, was telling me just a few days ago that Hawaii Kai is basically “wetlands.” Wetlands? “A wetland is an area of land whose soil is saturated with water either permanently or seasonally.” Hmm. Yes, I knew that Hawaii Kai used to be wetlands. It had never occurred to me, God, that we humans hadn’t just transformed Hawaii Kai into Dry Land and Marina.

a new sign on Hawaii Kai Drive

In fact, Waikiki used to be wetlands, too. We humans apparently love separating the land from the water. Funny, I thought we were successful. But, my Godson is very smart and sounded quite certain that we were still wetlands.

Then, yesterday, while jogging I saw this sign. Apparently, this is to designate an “active” wetland that I jog by several times a week.

Hmmm. I might not think that much about it except for rereading Being Wrong by Kathryn Schulz. I was in the part about how we humans much prefer Certainty to Uncertainty. We almost insist on Certainty in our leaders. Apparently being wrong is acceptable — but being uncertain about what is right — is not.

I can sense that wetlands have too high a degree of uncertainty for most of us. Is it land? Or is it water? The wetlands should decide! And stick to it! I’m mostly joking, God. Still, finding a designated wetlands in my neighborhood was a trifle unsettling. It makes me “uncertain” about the quality of the soil my home is resting on. I, too, like certainty.

Tagged with: Being Wrong by Kathryn Schulz, marinas, our love of certainty, wetlands
Posted in clear waterways, complexity, web of life

Kakaako, Families, and the Ongoing Adjustments of Life

Posted on October 11, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

in the heart of Kakaako

Good Morning, God!

Yesterday found me in the heart of Kakaako, just west of the Ala Moana shopping center. I think of Kakaako as Where the Work Gets Done. Work places are rarely pretty but they are really necessary. I worry about where all the small businesses will go as residential development continues. The high-rises keep coming! And that means adjustments for everyone.

Adjustments! Oh my goodness, God. Life is FULL of adjustments.

Tomorrow I fly off to Tucson to play both “responsible adult” and Tutu for our grandsons — while Sandy and Dave go off to Yosemite and then her 25th Stanford Reunion.

I will be adjusting from being “daughter” and “wife” to being “mom,” “grandma/tutu” and “mom-in-law.” Of course, in all those “roles,” I am always me. Still, each role carries with it expectations and memories. One of the great joys of friends and families are the memories . . . the rich past that makes the present more meaningful.

Hmm. I just realized that for me, especially as part of a family, dealing with the past requires some adjusting and processing. Our pasts always include mistakes and traumas. Many traumas, especially the ones we caused, remain hidden from us. But if we can share past hurts, hearing others — then the healing light of understanding can enter. And our tears of repentance can turn even painful times into rich soil.

Maybe, God, just maybe — I have more of that to do on this trip? As I think of soil . . . I think of the rocks that need to be cleared off the fields. Rocks of regret. Rocks of resentment. Rocks of closed off-hurts. I will need Your Help, God, in “adjusting.”

Tagged with: adjustments, deeper healing, forgiving, hidden traumas, processing, sharing our wounds, tears of repentance, The Heart of Kakaako
Posted in connecting, Conversations, courage to see myself, family visits, Feeling our feelings, finding hidden fears, Forgiving, Hearing, listening, Sharing

How do we say — I Love You?

Posted on October 10, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

a bouquet sitting in the lobby at my mom's place

Good Morning, God!

Giving flowers is one of the ways we say, “I love you!” And a lovely thing about flowers is that they don’t last. As my accumulation of Stuff grows, I value gifts that don’t last . . . or take up much space.

But gifts are just one way of expressing love.

I still remember reading Gary Chapman’s book, The Five Love Languages. Until then I hadn’t really thought that we might all speak different “love languages.” Chapman categorizes them as 1) Words of Affirmation. 2) Quality Time. 3) Gifts. 4) Acts of Service . 5) Physical Touch.

Needless to say, God, it is important that we say “I LOVE YOU” in the “right” language. Or as Bruce Larsen once wrote, “A lot of wives bake their husband an apple pie when he would rather have a good romp in bed.” Ah, yes, God, that would fall under physical touch — or maybe quality time? Finding the best Love Languages for our Loved Ones — and ourselves — is really important, God!

I can’t remember where I first read about the idea of a Love Bank Account — but I know that my husband, Kit, and I really try to stay “aware” of our need to make regular deposits in the other’s account. Small things really help. Having Kit bring us coffee in bed first thing in the morning, and then chat with me for the next 10 or 15 minutes, in an enormous gift to me.

I’d rather have the gift of regular quality time than countless bouquets of flowers! But, then, “talk time” is one of my love languages. Thank You, God for all the ways there are to say — I LOVE YOU!

Tagged with: a moment with God, expressing love in ways that will be "heard", Gary Chapman, Our Love Bank Account, The Five Love Languages
Posted in Affirmations, appreciation, blooming, Expand my Heart, LOVE

A Night in Old Hawaii

Posted on October 9, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

A Tribute to Irmgard Farden Aluli who was born 100 years ago on October 7, 1911

Good Morning, God!

Last night’s tribute to the late Auntie Irmgard, a local legend in Hawaiian music, was like going back in time. Back to a family time — back to a slower time — when entertainment was something we did together, not something we watched.

A niece of Auntie Irmgard invited me to the tribute, held 100 years and a day after her date of birth. Kit and I bought tickets and sat up close. Song after song poured over us, taking us back to the Old Hawaii, the Hawaii of sharing — sharing songs and hulas and laughter.

For the last number people were invited to “dance in the aisles” and some did. Oh, I would have loved to have joined them! How wonderful to be raised so that doing the hula is like giving a hug — giving a gift of love.

Auntie Irmgard

The friend who invited me was up on the stage at the end and at first she looked just a little uncomfortable. But as she danced she relaxed and began to smile and exude happiness. Her body, the music and the movements set her free. What a gift — to be free of self-consciousness — free to be.

I loved seeing women in their late 80’s and early 90’s up on stage singing and dancing. They were a delightful reminder that while our bodies age, our spirits can stay young.

Surely dancing and singing together protect us from many of the worries and fears that age us. Thank You, God, for music.

Tagged with: A tribute to Irmgard Farden Aluli, Auntie Irmgard, dancing the hula as a gift of love, hula, sharing the hula, singing together, the gift of songs.
Posted in connecting, connections, Enjoyment, JOY, letting the Holy Spirit flow through us, The World of our Senses, time

An American Spring?

Posted on October 8, 2011 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

a sign from the OccupyWallStreet movement

Good Morning, God!

Hmmm. Not long ago one of my blogs had a graph showing the top 1% of Americans having wealth going UP UP UP! The next 2% were mostly holding their own. But the other 97% were getting poorer.

At that point no one seemed to care. Well, I take that back, God! Warren Buffett and 40 other billionaires — who have pledged at least half of their wealth to charity — care. Forty billionaires. That’s 10% of the billionaires in America. It’s a start, God!

So, could this growing inequity be at the root of the new OccupyWallStreet movement? Is it that Americans’ sense of fair play has been violated? The folks who amped up the housing bubble walked away with billions — leaving a lot of home owners and institutions holding the bag. In fact, the World’s economy is in shambles.

Now, God, I know that greed is not limited to the rich. And I know that regulation is always a step behind need. But, it is kind of like Sony who after suing computer hackers didn’t even put basic security in place on their computers before they were really hit. Responsible organizations — and governments — ought at least to try to protect themselves.

Back to the 99%. I remember Kit’s mom saying that she was “thankful” that they had to pay so much in taxes. That statement looks amazing. And I remember my dad saying he didn’t want to soak the rich — he wanted to join them! I think that is what a lot of folks felt — until the scales tilted just a little — or a lot — too far.

So, God, I don’t really want another American Revolution — from the Left or the Right. But, I would like to see an adjustment.

Tagged with: a moment with God, Occupy, Occupy Wall Street spreads, on being a community
Posted in a hand up, adjusting, Anger, Compassion, courage

Beauty, Life and Weeping with Those Who Weep

Posted on October 7, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

A small heliconia (I think) in our common area

Good Morning, God!

I’m headed off this morning — EARLY — to get my mom to the doctor’s by 7:30 A.M. I want to get to her apartment in time for her to have some coffee and a bite to eat. All my mother wants to do is CANCEL the appointment. I understand that. I really do, God. To be sure, it is “only” Mohs surgery for a squamous cancer that popped up on her arm in the last two months. Small in the face of life threatening cancers.

Still being “responsible” isn’t easy. I am so glad she is here and I am only a mile away.

More and more, God, I am appreciating the wisdom of “weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice.” No one should weep alone, God. In fact, in times of trouble we need to band together — to have someone WITH us. The body seems to speak best when we are beyond words.

I wish I could weep, God. You and I need to “talk” about that some other day. But, I do find that I can keen quietly. Hmmm. I just looked up “keen”and it means to wail in grief. Obviously, one cannot keen quietly — that would be an oxymoron. So, I guess, all I can do is make small sounds of distress. That seems grossly inadequate, God.

Grossly inadequate. Hmmm. Yes, God. I can feel that I am moving closer to humility. And, I am dependent on YOU for hope — for my very existence. You CARE. And I believe You weep with us. Thank You!

Tagged with: grossly inadequate, humility, rejoice with those who rejoice, the simple gift of being "with", weep with those who weep
Posted in accepting my need for help, Caring, responsibility, Sharing, The daily details of love

Steve Jobs — Icon and Inspiration

Posted on October 6, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Steve Jobs -- 1955 - 2011

Good Morning, God!

A sad, sad day, God. Yesterday Steve Jobs left us and went to be with You. Has he been after You yet to “Make Your Universe More User Friendly?” Just joking, God! But, then, maybe I’m not.

I remember the first time I saw the Mac II with a COLOR screen. A color screen with 256 colors. PCs had 16 colors at that time. What a difference! I took out a $5,000 loan from my credit union and bought it — plus a black and white laser printer and a 2400 baud modem. High Living!

There was an article in the NY Times recently claiming that brain scans showed that people really do LOVE their iPhones. This was not a surprise to me. We DO love them — no matter that brain scientists have pointed out the flaws in that article’s science. Apple products ARE somehow lovable.

“Lovable” may not have been the best word for Steve as a person. He was incredibly “exacting” — knowing exactly what he wanted and getting it. But then, Steve was bringing us exactly what we wanted, too. Of course, most of us didn’t know we wanted it — until we saw it or held it.

I just picked up my iPhone 4, God. Several months ago I took the heavy duty protective case off of it — simply because I enjoy touching it. I listen to books on it. I log my runs on it. I take photos with it. And often I do all three of those things at the same time. I also read my email, search the web, play games, check my stocks and my check my heart rate. And, oh yes! I make phone calls. What’s not to love?

Please, God, take good care of Steve!

Tagged with: caring about the user, innovation, loving my iPhone, Steve Jobs, the importance of great design
Posted in Art, beauty, Communication

The sky’s the limit? — or living within limits?

Posted on October 5, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Sky over Kahala Mall

Good Morning, God!

I used to think of my days just like I did my suitcase — always room for one more thing! Oh my! That was back in my childhood (say last year?) when I thought limits were nasty things imposed to keep us from having fun.

As You know, God, I can’t say that I have made the transition into loving limits — but I am starting to appreciate them. Yes, You remind me that an engine run at 75% of capacity can run for years — while one run at 90% will quickly burn out.

I have the feeling that I am not the only one who has problems with limits. America lives by a 24/7 beat. People have vacation time that they just can’t seem to find time to take. And our press views Europeans as lazy layabouts with their six-week vacations and short work weeks.

Are we addicted to work? Or is it that we are trying to keep up with an almost diabolical work ethic? For goodness sake, God! Even the nose-to-the-grindstone Puritans took one day off from work each week.

What to do?

In the old days — back before we all loved our iPhones almost as much as our families — it was against the law to have stores open on Sunday. Society agreed on laws limiting our personal freedom in order to help us keep a day for resting.

Repeatedly failing to keep the Sabbath has shown me that I am doing too much. This has come as a surprise to me — even though my mother has told me that for years. But willful blindness is a powerful force. Retiring has not kept me from over filling my days. I’m afraid this might be a humility thing, God. I need Your Help.

Tagged with: 24/7 work week, humility, overfilling my days, Sabbath Rest
Posted in humility, Humility or Needing Help!, living within limits, sabbath rest

Orphaned Elephants in Kenya — and Hope

Posted on October 4, 2011 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

Orphan Elephants in Kenya; Photo by National Geographic

Good Morning, God!

I’ve been reading more National Geographic magazines, God. It comes with sitting in waiting rooms.

Yesterday I learned about an orphanage for elephants in Kenya. It’s the David Sheldrick Wildlife Trust in Nairobi. There’s a lot of Youtube videos, too. Seeing humans feeding young elephants with huge baby bottles was very touching.

The killing of their mothers — for meat and money — is so distressing, God. It’s distressing enough that it is happening. Even more distressing is that it is being done by my fellow humans. We ought to know better, God! We ought to see elephants as fellow sentient beings on this planet.

Hmmm. About the pork ribs I ate last night. Pigs are pretty smart, too. Drat! I didn’t want to get into my being a “meat eater” — I am not wanting to go there. Not now. Later!

Sigh, well, there’s the problem, God! I suppose Gandhi was right. We must become the change we wish to see.

Change comes with experience. In the National Geographic article they showed how baby elephants were being taken to schools to let the children see them and touch them and experience them as fellow creatures.

Fellow Creatures. Oh, would that we could see our fellow human beings as fellow creatures. Please help us, God. Help us reach out. Help us not to give up. Fill us with HOPE.

Tagged with: compassion, orphaned elephants in Kenya, sharing the planet with fellow creatures, understanding
Posted in Changing, choices, growing toward up, Help me to see, hope, Understanding

Spark! Reading, Thinking and Running

Posted on October 3, 2011 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain

Good Morning, God!

I’m listening to the book, Spark, for the second time and am realizing I need to hear it several more times. In fact, I have ordered a hard copy. I want to be able to copy and cite several facts.

The fact that really hit me was that we have a brain because we move. Dr. Ratey then goes on to illustrate that by talking about a small sea creature with a 100+ neuron “brain.” The creature goes swimming along amongst the coral until it finds a place to anchor. Once it has its place on the coral, it proceeds to digest its brain. It isn’t going to move and it no longer needs its brain.

Yikes! I think a lot of us no longer “need” our brains. We aren’t moving — not physically and not mentally. That’s a scary thought, God.

In fact, that is one of the many facts in this book that have pushed me into jogging again — and going to the gym. It isn’t so much self-improvement as it is self-maintenance. I at least want to stay where I am as long as I can.

Our brains are certainly underutilized gifts, God! At least, mine is. I want to keep on learning. But not just facts or interesting new ideas. What I really need is to keep on upgrading my Mental Maps. I need to resist the need to stay stuck in Being Right.

This is a new concept for me, God. I confess that I suffer from the syndrome of “being pretty sure I’m right about almost everything.” That is no way to learn and grow and change!

Maybe it’s the exercise that is helping me embrace (well, consider) humility?