So Painful to See — So We Turn Away

A Horrible Photo -- but better than most


Good Morning, God!

Times have changed — but not enough, God. I did spank my children. Sandy has not spanked her boys. And I still remember the time years ago when Ian had popped off and hit Mark. Having seen this happen before, and being of the old school, I said to Mark, “I wonder when someone is going to hit Ian back?” Mark said, “I’ve wondered that, too, Tutu.” Now, of course, Ian is over 6 feet and over 200 pounds. And I am very thankful for the culture of non-violence in their home.

Alas, a BBC news story estimated that between 1,000 and 2,000 children four and under are killed here in the United Sates each year — by a member of the family. The child abuse rate is 3 times higher in the United States than in Canada and 11 times higher than in Italy. Cultures matter.

Just a few months ago I heard a marvelous speaker tell about how often his mother beat him. He admitted that he used to tell some of his worst experiences as “funny stories.” He had come a long way in being willing to feel how damaging those beatings really were. Yet, later in his talk he held up his fists and said: “In Texas we like to talk with our hands!”

Cultures of violence are resistant to change. And, so is the idea that a “Man’s Home is His Castle.” Both of these make it difficult to know just how to address this horrible crime of child abuse. And, in fact, we mostly don’t address it — except when a case makes the news when we blame the parents, drugs, and the child welfare officers. I am not saying they are without blame. But, blaming doesn’t help.

I remember a dear friend setting up program of “respite care” at our church — years ago. It seems the police had suggested the idea. Social programs do help. But, they do cost. We need help, God!

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Story teller,

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Posted in a hand up, a prayer for healing, a thought or two on Hell, attitudes, being heard into speaking, Choosing to respond
2 comments on “So Painful to See — So We Turn Away
  1. Toni says:

    I am 13 (boy) and get spanked very often. My daddy uses his belt or cane. He beats my bare bottom and legs very hard. It hurts a lot. The worst is that other kids don’t get spanked and when I go to school they tease me cos they see the welts. I have to wear shorts all year round even on very cold winter days so the welts are visible on my bare thighs.
    Toni

    • Dear Toni,
      Thank you for sharing. I didn’t answer because I don’t have an answer or a way to help. But, I am praying for you and your daddy. I am pretty sure your daddy is not happy. Very often sadness comes out as anger. I only hope he learns that God loves him and longs to give him a big hug. God loves all of us and weeps over us. And is eager to have us come for the healing of forgiving love.

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