Roses and Rest

Posted on February 26, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

A red rose from my "garden" sitting on my mother's table

Good Day, God!

This rose was grown in a pot in my car port. But that sure didn’t keep it from doing its best. Of course, God, it gets real food — dehydrated chicken manure. I don’t think it’s organic, though.

I’m laughing at myself, God. Still, I did make sure my stew meat for tonight’s dinner was grass-fed beef from the Big Island. What we eat, matters. The atmosphere in which we eat, matters too. Tonight I ate slowly — putting down my fork — pausing — and taking over 20 minutes. Drum roll, please!

My husband Kit is still in LA visiting our daughter Suzanne. So while I ate I began reading The Gift of Rest: Rediscovering the Beauty of the Sabbath, by Senator Joe Lieberman.

The Gift of the Sabbath

He begins by telling about walking home (4.5 miles) from the Capitol building in the rain — walking because it was the Sabbath. Then he explains that the joy of the Sabbath makes an occasional walk in the rain a small price to pay.

Sigh, how wonderful it must be to have both your family and your culture supporting you in observing the Sabbath. How sad that our culture made the Sabbath into a joyless desert and now works (with pride, yet!) 24/7. No, God, not sad, PITIFUL!

What I am slowly learning, God, is that in order to obverse the Sabbath one has to do less the rest of the week. Duh! Honestly, God, sometimes I wonder about my “everyday smarts!”

Having retired, I find that I am dropping other activities too. Tomorrow, because I am taking my mom to the ear doctor in the afternoon, I am skipping my noon Rotary meeting. I enjoy that meeting. But, I don’t enjoy rushing — not anymore. Hmm. It sounds as if I am finally kicking the adrenaline addiction. Thank You, God! Thank You!

Tagged with: adrenaline addiction, doing less, observing the sabbath, The Gift of Rest, working 24/7
Posted in beauty, JOY, living within limits, sabbath rest, sacred space, setting my life in context

Hearing my deep inner voices into speaking

Posted on February 25, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

The lights in Central Union's Fireside Room

Good Day, God!

A lovely day. A day at the Contemplative Outreach of Hawaii’s “commuter retreat” led by Jim Vorndran, S.M. There were 30 of us there. You can feel the difference, God, when you center with a group. Even a small group helps me to keep my focus. I suppose the question might be Focus on What?

The idea of centering prayer is to Focus on One Word that I’ve selected. And then gently return to that word as all manner of images and thoughts skitter and scurry through my mind. The idea is to let You do the work, God.

I’ve seen this mostly as a quieting and calming of my mind.But today I got a treat! Jim suggested that after we center we journal on whatever seemed most often to distract us — or perhaps what most upset us — during our centering.

Oh JOY! I am such a word-loving person that words exploded into my Journal! I was almost always the last person out of the room as we shifted venues. Jim’s gentle encouragement helped me to see that for me Centering and Journaling go together. Centering helps my Dominate Conscious Mind relax — loosen its grip — letting voices slowly rise from deep inside me.

I know that we humans we need to be Heard into Speaking. I just never thought that my own inner voices also needed to be Heard into Speaking. But, clearly, God, they do.

And all of this makes me think of my aunt’s long silence in an abusive marriage. Women have been “trained to silence” for so long and in so many cultures. So perhaps, God, it isn’t surprising that I have voices that need to speak. Inner voices that want to be HEARD into speaking.

Thank You, God, for always listening — for wanting and waiting for me to speak.

Tagged with: commuter retreat, Heard into Speaking, The Contemplative Outreach of Hawaii, the deep silences waiting to speak
Posted in Hearing, hearing myself, Hearts, Silence

Going Slower — Savoring More

Posted on February 24, 2012 by a moment with god — 3 Comments

Light on banyan trees in Kapiolani Park

Good Day, God!

I’m back on Oahu . . . really back . . . so while I have more thoughts on Maui . . . they will have to wait. Right now I am delighted with a day that was filled right to the edges with good things.

Yes, God, it really should have had more margins. But, there was only just one little bit of rushing in it — when I had to get my mom to her shampoo treatment. But, that was just for a few minutes and then I slowed down again.

Yes, God, I went S L O W L Y through my day. You must be helping me, God, because I am beginning to value slow.

Crescent moon over the Central Union Spire

I was delighted to stumble upon this quote: “To read fast is as bad as to eat in a hurry.” That was said by Vilhelm Ekelund, a poet born in 1880. Ah, he had no real concept of how fast things would get! Yikes!

The speed thing was invisible to me until I actually began to slow down. Now I can see it — or rather feel it — longing to come in and wind me up tight. Longing to try and get me to squeeze more out of each moment. Addicted to Acceleration!

And, like most addictions, we can’t or won’t see them until we are in rehab. My “rehab” is Centering Prayer. I did a Saturday morning meeting and tonight I started a “commuter silent retreat” that will end tomorrow at 4:00 p.m.

I have come home to silence and I shall be in silence tomorrow. In Silence and in Slow. Yes, God, this retreat is best done while my wonderful husband Kit is visiting our daughters. I am looking forward to his return, God. Looking forward to going slower with him.

After all, Going Slow Expands us — giving us more time to Savor!

Tagged with: addicted to acceleration, centering prayer, silent retreat, slowing down and opening up
Posted in Centering Prayer, relaxation, Silence, slow incremental change

A B&B in Makawao — And the Giftings of Midwives

Posted on February 23, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

The grounds at Hale Ho'okipa

Good Day, God!

I’m home . . . but part of me is still back in the Hale Ho’okipa B&B in Makawao — upcountry Maui. The B&B was built in 1924 for the Gomes Family. The wood floors and comfortable feel were out of the past — the bathrooms were more modern.

It had the feel of a home. Cherie, the owner is an artist and so the place is filled with various kinds of art — hers and her friends. She does lovely woodblock watercolors. I got the feeling that everybody “Upcountry” was doing something creative. It made me want to join in!

Inside the old "Gomes" family home -- now Hale Ho'okipa B&B

I found out that before this career Cherie was a midwife. Perfect! A perfect description of her giftings. Her plants were thriving. Her guests were nurtured. And neighbors and friends dropped by during the breakfast hour to bring a gift or just say hello. Helping to bring a child into the world — or helping to bring people together in community — are they so different, God?

Makawao is a small community. And I like to think, God, that is the way we humans were designed to live. In small towns — villages — knowing one another and being known.

Sigh. The older I get the more I treasure the friends I have found. I was going to say “made.” But, for friends-that-last, it seem more like “finding” them just as one finds a special shell on the beach. Discovered not Made! In fact, God, I just read a new post written by one of my dear friends from high school. She included one of my favorite quotes: “It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”

The beauty of flowers and mountains and seas are overwhelming. But, the true beauty lies in the hearts of our friends — our family — our fellow creatures of this world. Thank You, God. Thank You!

Tagged with: communities, Friends, Hale Ho'okipa, Makawao, Maui, midwives, small towns, upcountry maui
Posted in beauty, Belonging to each other, connections

A 28 hour trip to Maui

Posted on February 22, 2012 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

A Passion Flower growing on the driveway fence of Hale Ho'okipa B&B

Good Day, God!

I’m just back from Maui . . . well, back by way of visiting my Mom and picking up dinner from Costco. It was 28 hours, 530 photos, and four meals. I’m FULL, God!

At the lavender farm — 4,000 feet up the side of Haleakula — I stuffed myself with photos. I realized that going on a conducted tour would be way too confining. And so I wandered about clicking away. The farm had first been a protea farm.

A King Protea growing on its bush

I hadn’t know that. I like lavender, God, but I LOVE protea. Especially the ones that look like they got crossed with birds — with petals like feathers.

I just read that the Proteaceae family to which they belong is an ancient one. Its ancestors grew in Gondwanaland over 300 million years ago. That surely puts my 28 hours on Maui in perspective!

But, back to the lavender farm. Maybe the best part of our (my Book Group) trip to farm was its slope. Haleakula is a shield volcano not one of those beautifully shaped Mt. Fuji type stratovolcanoes. So trying to capture its size in photos is frustrating. Just looking at it gives a very poor sense of its immensity. But, when I got out of the car at the farm –4,000 up the side of the volcano — I felt the angle of the slope and for the first time I “got” its size. It was like my Body did some sort of calculation and knew what it was standing on.

I could go on and on and on, God. And I probably will in the days to come. But now, I am just going to say Thank You! Thank You for Maui, for good friends, and for the iPhone that held all those photos.

Tagged with: Haleakula, lavender farm, passion flower, protea
Posted in a matter of scale, appreciation, beauty, seeing

Two minutes of beauty — in February, in Yosemite, if if if

Posted on February 21, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Horsetail Falls in Yosemite at a February sunset

Good Morning, God!

I’m off to Maui this morning to see Lavender Fields and Goat Farms and . . . But, Maui, itself, is more than enough. I thought about posting photos of lavender . . . but I want to show my photos of lavender.

Besides, God, my eye was caught by a small color photo in the newspaper yesterday. It was part of a story on how for just two weeks in February the sun comes from such an angle that it turns the Horsetail Falls in Yosemite into sunset colors. Two weeks a year! And that is IF there is enough water in the falls and IF the sky isn’t cloudy or rainy.

I watched a video of photographers standing around in the cold — and it IS cold in Yosemite in February — peering up at the falls coming down El Capitan. Waiting to see IF they could see it turn color. Ah, but, I would love to be there, cold and all.

Horsetail Falls: Photo by Jeffrey Murray

Of course, that DOES take a lot of preplanning. And that means looking ahead. It means scheduling and sequencing and arranging things. Hmm. The fact that these activities do not come naturally to me probably means I need to devote a little more time and effort to them. It is just that — when there IS someone gifted, someone who enjoys doing it — the temptation to thank them and get out of their way is overwhelming!

Still, God, I feel Your nudge. The Calendar / Timeline Parts of my brain ARE my responsibility. Dang! How ever did I get into yet another self-development project? No wonder I chose BUSY all these years!

But, thank YOU. I did go and check my calendar and discovered a conflict that I need to let two friends know about. Embarrassing! But, thank You, God!

Tagged with: Horsetail Falls, planning ahead, self-development projects, Sunset Colored Waterfalls, Yosemite
Posted in a series of molts and upgrades, beauty, Planning, responding to "nudges", responsibility

It’s So Quiet here at home

Posted on February 20, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

A flower in Monet's garden: Photo by Vickie Paulsen

Good Day, God!

And it has been a very good day . . . and I am thankful. Only, right now, God, it is so quiet. Kit just called me from Tucson sounding happy. I could hear our daughter Sandy and her family chatting in the background.

He is right where I wanted him to be — in the bosom of our family. Next week he will be with Suzy. All of this is very good. And I am thankful! But, still, God, it is very quiet here at home.

Maybe I will go and turn on Kit’s Bose Sound System . . . Kit always has music on . . . sometimes one piece upstairs and another piece downstairs. But, of course, God, it isn’t the music — it is the sound-of-Kit — that I miss.

Now, You have brought to my heart, God, a friend who was widowed way too young. I had thought that I “understood” her sorrow. Ah, I had no idea how expandable our Hearts are. There is always room for more feelings — more compassion — more grief — more unnamable Heart Essence.

I am beginning to suspect that being open to the experiencing of all these assorted and unsorted feelings is part of maturing. We are, indeed, to weep with those who weep. Oh, that all who weep could be heard and wept with!

I am sitting and feeling God — doing my best to embrace my very small and very temporary sense of loss — knowing that far more will in all likelihood be required of me. Sigh.

But, now enough of that, God. Now I am reentering my NOW. I am the most fortunate of women. I know that! My heart sometimes inflates painfully full with gratitude for all that I have been given. Please, God, help me give as I have been given to.

Tagged with: a very small temporary loss, family visits, fathers and daughters
Posted in Families, family visits, Feeling our feelings, gratitude, Perspective, The music

Sorcerers and the Accelerating Future

Posted on February 19, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

M.I.T. Media Lab

Good Day, God!

I actually went to a week long workshop at the Media Lab on designing CD ROMs — way back in 1994. So, God, when I was at the library and saw the book, Sorcerers and Their Apprentices: How the Digital Magicians of the MIT Media Lab Are Creating Innovative Technologies That Will Transform Our Lives — I borrowed it.

The Future is ACCELERATING, God! Of

Sorcerers and Their Apprentices

course, we know this viscerally. I wasn’t ready for Apple’s Lion (OS 10.7) and now Apple will be coming out with Mountain Lion. (A friend suggested Sabertooth Tiger might be next . . .)

But the book isn’t just about technology. It is filled with stories about the people working at the Media Lab. Stories about HOW the design of the workplace can help us work and play better together. Stories about HOW helpful it is to have an Anti-Disciplines mindset with experts in all sorts of fields interacting in surprising ways. And it’s stories about HOW many iterations it takes to get to someplace worthwhile — and often unexpected.

My favorite story, so far, is about Amy Farber. She’s a social scientist who discovered she had LAM (lymphangioleiomyomatosis). It’s a very rare disease and that makes both research and support groups difficult. But Farber teamed with Ian Eslick, a computer scientist, and they created an online group for people with LAM. It has grown from just supporting and sharing information with each other to conducting collaborative research projects. In fact, it is now the LAM Treatment Alliance and the “patients” are full participants in the search for cures.

I love that, God! I love the whole idea that these women don’t have to sit around waiting for help. They are bright able people — and who better to notice what is going on in their own bodies. Imagine, God! Patients as respected participants in the research projects!

Now, that’s the kind of future that can’t come too soon!

Tagged with: Amy Farber, Frank Moss, LAM Treatment Alliance, MIT Media Lab, Sorcerers and Their Apprentices
Posted in connecting, Creating, Curiosity, Play, Possibilities, respect

Entering into Ireland’s Past — via Sebastian Barry

Posted on February 18, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Sligo, Ireland

Good Day, God!

I’m currently reading two books, God. One is about the MIT Media Lab and it is about the future to the max.

The other is the Secret Scripture by Sebastian Barry and it is set in Sligo Ireland back in the painful past of the early 1900’s. Come to think of it, God, all of Ireland’s past — especially from the 1600’s on — is painful.

Secret Scripture by Sebastian Barry

This is a beautifully written book. It’s filled with phrases that make me pause and savor them. Sure and the author really is a poet. Oh, but the story! The horrors that are lingering in my mind.

Needless to say, I’m reading the book for my book group. This is not a book that I would read for pleasure or for escape or to have my mind stimulated.

Reading this is more like doing penance. Perhaps, there is some benefit to me as I “feel with” those who have been so terribly battered about by fate and by their fellow humans? Still, it is Hard, God, Hard.

And there are so many kinds of hard, God. Individual “hards” and then societal “hards.” Surely, Ireland has suffered from being under the harsh hand of the English. I think the English are mostly unaware of what they have done. They are still telling “Irish jokes” which are not so much jokes as a way of expressing contempt. Being looked down — being massively disrespected and discriminated against — must have a dreadful effect on people. Sigh. We are still doing it, God. Disrespecting our fellow humans. We limit them. And we limit ourselves.

Ah, and so here we are, God. Needing Your Grace. Needing Your Help to Forgive. Needing to ASK for Your Help — to forgive — and then to let Your Compassion flow through us.

Hmm. Maybe the book is having a beneficial effect on me?

Tagged with: Sebastian Barry, Secret Scripture, Sligo Ireland
Posted in Compassion, Expand my Heart, Forgiving, Sorrows of the Deep, time

Money and Time: And the Question of Enough

Posted on February 17, 2012 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

I just pre-ordered this book on money

Good Day, God!

I heard Laura Vanderkam speak at Kit’s Princeton Reunion last year and bought her book on Time. So, it seemed only right to buy her book on Money. After all, no one ever has enough Time or Money — or do we?

Enough is the important concept here. Enough depends a lot on who we hang out with. I remember Nassim Taleb in the Black Swan talking about portfolio managers making $500,000 a year who socialized with managers making $1,000,000 — they experienced themselves as poor! Well, Duh!

That is not a big surprise, God. The puzzle is why in the world were they hanging out with people who made that much more? Living within our means is easier if we live and associate with people in the same “means” level. Or at least, God, hang out with folks of similar values. Friends we can take a walk with.

walking through Kapiolani Park this morning

I haven’t read Laura’s book on money — it comes out next month — but I have read her thank-you-for-ordering-her-book email on “10 Ways to Buy Happiness for Under $10.” Some were both easy and obvious — coffee with a friend, dark chocolate, buying flowers, dancing and singing along with favorite songs.

But there were two things that I didn’t expect to find on her list. 1) Give to a cause you can picture. 2) practice random acts of micro-philanthropy.

I have become enchanted with micros,God! Micro-habits, and now micro-philanthropy! I’m thinking of the $5 I gave to a fund for high school students at the Foodland Market. I enjoyed giving it. And now, thinking of it as a random bit of micro-philantrophy, I’m enjoying it even more. I’m into building a Life of Micros, God! A mosaic of micros.