Good Day, God!
And it has been a very good day . . . and I am thankful. Only, right now, God, it is so quiet. Kit just called me from Tucson sounding happy. I could hear our daughter Sandy and her family chatting in the background.
He is right where I wanted him to be — in the bosom of our family. Next week he will be with Suzy. All of this is very good. And I am thankful! But, still, God, it is very quiet here at home.
Maybe I will go and turn on Kit’s Bose Sound System . . . Kit always has music on . . . sometimes one piece upstairs and another piece downstairs. But, of course, God, it isn’t the music — it is the sound-of-Kit — that I miss.
Now, You have brought to my heart, God, a friend who was widowed way too young. I had thought that I “understood” her sorrow. Ah, I had no idea how expandable our Hearts are. There is always room for more feelings — more compassion — more grief — more unnamable Heart Essence.
I am beginning to suspect that being open to the experiencing of all these assorted and unsorted feelings is part of maturing. We are, indeed, to weep with those who weep. Oh, that all who weep could be heard and wept with!
I am sitting and feeling God — doing my best to embrace my very small and very temporary sense of loss — knowing that far more will in all likelihood be required of me. Sigh.
But, now enough of that, God. Now I am reentering my NOW. I am the most fortunate of women. I know that! My heart sometimes inflates painfully full with gratitude for all that I have been given. Please, God, help me give as I have been given to.