Good Day, God!
A lovely day. A day at the Contemplative Outreach of Hawaii’s “commuter retreat” led by Jim Vorndran, S.M. There were 30 of us there. You can feel the difference, God, when you center with a group. Even a small group helps me to keep my focus. I suppose the question might be Focus on What?
The idea of centering prayer is to Focus on One Word that I’ve selected. And then gently return to that word as all manner of images and thoughts skitter and scurry through my mind. The idea is to let You do the work, God.
I’ve seen this mostly as a quieting and calming of my mind.But today I got a treat! Jim suggested that after we center we journal on whatever seemed most often to distract us — or perhaps what most upset us — during our centering.
Oh JOY! I am such a word-loving person that words exploded into my Journal! I was almost always the last person out of the room as we shifted venues. Jim’s gentle encouragement helped me to see that for me Centering and Journaling go together. Centering helps my Dominate Conscious Mind relax — loosen its grip — letting voices slowly rise from deep inside me.
I know that we humans we need to be Heard into Speaking. I just never thought that my own inner voices also needed to be Heard into Speaking. But, clearly, God, they do.
And all of this makes me think of my aunt’s long silence in an abusive marriage. Women have been “trained to silence” for so long and in so many cultures. So perhaps, God, it isn’t surprising that I have voices that need to speak. Inner voices that want to be HEARD into speaking.
Thank You, God, for always listening — for wanting and waiting for me to speak.