AT&T and me — a sneaky root of bitterness

Posted on March 31, 2010 by a moment with god — 2 Comments

AT&T Logo

Well, God, I’m pretty sure it was a nudge from You this morning in the shower when it came to me that I HAD to forgive AT&T. And not just forgive — I had to blog about it — TODAY.

Bummers! I’m embarrassed to admit that I have ACTIVELY . . . could I say disliked? or do I have to say HATED . . . AT&T. It has been YEARS since the incident in which I called to appeal for help with a $350+ bill. They didn’t waive a dime — they kept repeating that I was “legally responsible.” Well, I KNEW THAT! I was hoping for a bit of compassion. Maybe a bit of sympathy? How about a SORRY . . . Sigh. Well, God, there it is. I have been harboring bitterness in my heart all these years.

Sure, AT&T was acting like a monopoly and had turned their employees into automatons. I don’t approve of that. But as Sandy so lovingly said — resentment only hurts the person who harbors it. And it had hurt me. It grew underground, so to speak — into a Root of Bitterness. I am so much better off without it. And, I know that a root of bitterness gives the Devil a Foothold.

Apple's iPhone G3s

This morning it seemed to me that You wanted me to forgive AT&T as My Birthday GIFT TO YOU!

Only, of course, now that I have done it, I can see that it is truly Your birthday gift to ME!

And, now AT LAST, I am FREE to get an iPhone G3s. THANKS SO MUCH, GOD!

Posted in becoming the change I wish to see, being repotted, Choosing to respond, confession, humility, opportunities to forgive myself

Holy Tuesday, Half Dome and Birthdays

Posted on March 30, 2010 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

Half Dome in Yosemite -- late winter

Good Morning, God

Here I am — entering into Holy Tuesday. The day in which Jesus was supposed to have foretold the destruction of the Temple. After a disciple commented on the beauty of the Temple he said “As for what you see here, the time will come when not one stone will be left on another; every one of them will be thrown down.” [Luke 21:6] How hard that must have been to hear!

Looking at Half Dome reminds me that TIME and NATURE do scrape away the non essentials. Half Done was left as a glacier retreated. It is an order of magnitude older than the Temple in Jerusalem. It is hard to think that it too, will pass away.

Time is hard for us, God. Change is hard for us. I think of all those religious leaders who were blinded to who Jesus was — blinded by their expectations of what the messiah must be. Would I have been any different? I like to think i would have responded to Jesus — but what if I had been taught by the experts to expect someone so very different. Ah, the dangers of “Knowing.”

Half Dome in summer. Photo by Mark Bramhill

But, let me move on to a smaller topic — me. Today is not just Holy Tuesday — it’s my birthday. So, for today, let me bask in the Light of Your Love! Let me put off thoughts of endings and focus on NOW. Now is GOOD! Now is FULL — filled with people to love and useful and satisfying things to do.

It is true that my office wasn’t cleaned, yesterday, in spite of my desire to get that done. But what I did was clean up my mind of all the loose and floating tasks. I made progress capturing them and in sequencing them. Thank You!

Oh, and one more THANK YOU! It comes to me that it is easy for me to love birthdays because I still have my mom — just a mile away — to play games with and chat with. She is still doing the hard work of being the lead goose in the family flight formation. My day will come — but for now — I fly comfortably behind her. Help me to be for my daughters — what she is for me — an admirable role model.

Posted in a hand up, appreciation, daughters, Experts and THE EXPERT, gratitude, Holy Tuesday, Holy Week, Light

Holy Monday – Cleansing the Temple, and my Office

Posted on March 29, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

The Annunciation to Zechariah: British Library MS 599874 Ethiopian

Good Morning God!

It is Holy Week! And by late afternoon the Moon will be FULL. I must say that spending this time with YOU is focusing my attention on the whole week. Usually I rejoice on Palm Sunday and then go along on my own — not thinking about it being Holy Week — until Maundy Thursday arrives.

Is it that we don’t have special names for these three days? Ah, well — I just checked and this is Holy Monday. Tradition has it that this is the day Jesus cleansed the Temple and said my House is a House of Prayer — not a den of robbers.

Hmmm. Perhaps, God, I could CLEAN my Office? I’m sort of embarrassed to think of such a mundane way of honoring Holy Monday. But that was the first response that popped into my mind. Because, I want to DO something to set today apart.

What a TIME we humans have — caught up in Chronos — with its linear flow of details and detritus. And all the while we are NEXT TO / PARTLY IN? Kairos. I can’t do more than three dimensions, God. So I picture Kairos as a Super Sphere — where all of Chronos has been wrapped up and put inside — where it is always NOW for You. I like that image. When I read where St. Paul says “Pray for Me”, I do. I pray because, Then is still Now for YOU.

Back to this Robber thing — yesterday I robbed You of some of my Rest Time on the Sabbath. I confess — I did do a little work. I tried really hard to make it just about taking care of MY stuff. I didn’t do anything for others (yes, that’s my definition of work) until after dark — after the first star was seen. And I did have a relaxed morning and a long nap after church. Still, I just wanted to confess that I still need LOTS more help in Keeping the Sabbath — and not robbing You of Time that is to be given to You — so You can bless it — and give it back to me.

Posted in God's Time, Holy Monday, Kairos, Sabbath as PLAY, sabbath rest, self care as self compassion and humility, slow incremental change

Spring, Palm Sunday and Rocks Rejoicing

Posted on March 28, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Flowering fruit trees in Beverly Hills

It’s Palm Sunday, God!

And it’s SPRING! The season of new beginnings — new life — new hope!

Dear friends are leaving soon for Tokyo to see the cherry blossoms there. They will be appreciating, enjoying and I hope, rejoicing.

Rejoicing is such an EASTER WORD. And it is also a Palm Sunday word. That was the day of Jesus’ triumphal entry into Jerusalem. People covered the road before him with palm branches and their cloaks — shouting Hosanna! It was a day of rejoicing. I like the Luke version best: Luke 19: 37 the whole crowd of disciples began joyfully to praise God in loud voices for all the miracles they had seen: 38″Blessed is the king who comes in the name of the Lord!” “Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!” When the religious rule keepers told Jesus to rebuke his disciples, Jesus replied “if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.” Ah, the very elements — the very ground itself — REJOICED! It was, in truth, a New Beginning.

a palm at UH

But, the week had yet to unfold for Jesus — a week of the darkest lows and the Highest HIGHS. I never tire of walking through this week, God.

Each year I struggle to put myself back into a state of not knowing how it will come out. It is as if I NEED to enter into the Darkness — to see myself in Peter’s fearful denial. . . to repent of all my failures to SEE and GRASP You and Your Reality. It is in short, an exercise in seeing myself — and seeing what You are calling us to become.

But for NOW? Now I lay my cloak on the road and waive my palm branches and shot HOSANNA! HOSANNA! The rocks and I are crying out our praises together. HOSANNA!

Posted in Holy Week, Palm Sunday, Praise, processing on deeper levels, responding to God's Spirit

Breakfast Conversations and Cosseting – an Old Verb returns

Posted on March 27, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Tango's near Ward Center for breakfast

Good Morning God!

First a THANK YOU for yesterday — a day in which I heard myself recommending that a friend “cosset” herself — and ended up feeling You had cosseted me.

Cosset — to pamper and care tenderly for someone — is such an OLD word that I wasn’t really sure I had the right one. But it was right and I found that’s origin refers back to caring for a pet lamb.

That was how I felt about Your tender care of me. I got to sleep in a bit — have a good chat with Kit before we started our day — then off to breakfast with a friend at Tango’s.

inside Tango's -- birch trees and Meramekko wall hangings.

The restaurant is run by a chef from Finland so the decor involves Marimekko fabrics on the walls and birch trees. I meant to take a photo of the Eggs Florentine, but I had eaten them before I remembered.

Good food, but the best part of breakfast was a Sacred Time of Hearing — sort of like I was Hearing my friend WITH You. Times like that are such a GIFT. And I got to do it with three friends yesterday. Ah! The JOY of Being a Hearer — a Listener!

I’m smiling. We’ve joked for years that my mother’s family has a “Listener Gene”. I remember as a child hiding around the corner of the hall and listening to my mom as she listened to her friends. And her father was a Listener too.

Only I fear I am not the “approved” kind of listener. My father was an engineer and “consultant”. So I would say I am an “interactive listener”. And I never feel more ME than when I’m in this Sacred Time of Hearing and Sharing. So, to have my day full of it was to feel LOVED and COSSETED. I did indeed feel as if YOU had been tenderly caring for me. THANK YOU!

Posted in acknowledging another's existence, being heard into speaking, being together in a compassionate presence, Conversations, friends, intentional and invited sacred space, letting the Holy Spirit flow through us, listening

Praise, the Gold Tree and me

Posted on March 26, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Tabebuia donnell-smithii: a primavera or gold tree in Hawaii Kai

Good Morning God!

It was a wet, grey and rainy day yesterday. So when I saw that one of the Gold Trees on Hawaii Kai Drive was starting to bloom — I pulled into the JAIMS parking lot and came to a full stop to take this photo.

I LOVE these trees. And today I realized that I consider them PRAISE TREES. No, not just because I give thanks and praise YOU when I see them. There is something about dropping leaves and then blooming with these radiant yellow blossoms that epitomizes the very act of praise. Praising. REJOICING.

a Gold Tree on Hawaii Kai Drive last year - in sunlight.

Mind You, God, the one in Sunlight seems far more radiant. But the effort is the same — the blossom is the same. It isn’t in the spotlight, but You see it.

These glowing blossoms are a delight to me. They make me smile and rejoice. Somehow, in my mind –or is it my heart — Our Praise seems linked to these blossoms. Does our praise make You SMILE?

Many years ago I learned the POWER of offering up the sacrifice of praise. (Hebrews 13:15) Praising You, GOD, FOR problems, disasters and illness — opens us up to RECEIVE all the help and love and peace that You LONG to give us. It is a sacrifice of our Feelings. It puts our Will to TRUST You over our fear and despair.

Offering the Sacrifice of Praise EXPANDS US. It EXPANDS US so that MORE of YOU can get into us. Praise YOU, God! PRAISE YOU! Truly! YOU do inhabit the praises of Your People.

Posted in Being ENJOYED by God, blooming, Praise, The sacrifice of praise

Cities at Night — Yikes! I’m in the Future!

Posted on March 25, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Houston at night. Photo taken taken by astronauts on board the International Space Station.

Good night God,

I’m leaving home early tomorrow so I’m doing Thursday’s blog tonight. And speaking of Night — look at this lovely photo of Houston at night. At first glance I thought it was some sort of organism — I just wasn’t sure what kind. And, of course, it is a Mega Organism. The streets going into downtown look like supporting threads in a spider’s web.

But, I think it was that idea that it had been taken from the International Space Station that pleases me the most! WE — Planet Earth — have an International Space Station! I guess it has been growing so slowly that each news bit has been too small to really get my attention. I like having it up there.
They have a whole website of photos: Earth Observatory Feature: Cities at Night: The View from Space

I was raised on Science Fiction. My mother was the first to read it and introduced my father to it. The swooping elevated highways are standard now. Only, in the illustrations of my childhood there were no more than 3 or 4 cars speeding along. How like “The future” — it comes bringing so much MORE with it than we intended or imagined — both good and bad.

I LOVE my iPod and laptop — and at some point plan to use a Smart Phone. But I was put in my place at the HIM conference when a speaker dismissed email as being SO NINETIES!

But I realized recently, God, that I am VERY CONSERVATIVE in some things — like eating the way people used to eat — before we created Factory Food. And I am conservative socially, too. I believe that the Ten Commandments are an excellent basis for a good life. I am also convinced that caring for others — giving and helping — brings the best joy. How I wish everyone could know Your Love!

Posted in a matter of scale, connections, Our lights vs Your light, Space stations and the Future

The Hurricanes of Life

Posted on March 24, 2010 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

Photo of Katrina taken from Magee, 150 miles north of where it came ashore

Good Morning God,

I was emailed this photo of Katrina and my first thought was WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, God, CREATING HURRICANES?

Looking at it makes me feel small and fearful — so if that is the point — I GOT it! Speaking of fearful, while I was in L.A. we had a 4.4 earthquake — a very small and very brief one — BUT SCARY.

A dear friend was just sent to the hospital for a colonoscopy — with the doctor saying there was a high chance of cancer. Scary! That is a hurricane of sorts, too.

The thing is, God, that MOSTLY life goes on the same from one day to the next — just as the skies are mostly friendly, the ground is mostly solid and the seas mostly keep their appointed place. So we forget that Life is a Gift. We take it for granted — feel entitled — and fail to be thankful.

So then, when we have a real hurricane — or perhaps, even worse, a metaphorical hurricane — we have a chance to stop and give thanks — and ask for Your Help! No doubt, God, You become much more REAL to us during troubles!

And, as I gaze at that photo of Katrina, I remember that for every degree increase in ocean temperature the severity of storms goes up. So, here we humans are — heating up the planet — and then blaming YOU for the huge hurricanes. I’m sorry, God for blaming You. You have given us a truly Amazing Planet — help us to be GOOD STEWARDS! Help us to remember we are Part of a Fabulous Whole.

And our friend? It turned out to be diverticulitis — not cancer. THANK YOU, God!

Posted in a matter of scale, fears, gratitude, humility, Perspective, Prayer

Coral Reefs, Trees and Orphans — All in GOD’S LOVE

Posted on March 23, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Maunalua Bay looking back at Diamond Head

Ah, God, what a glorious world You have given us.

I took this photo as Kit was driving us into town. I love taking photos and even though this is captioned Maunalua Bay — I really took it for the sky and the silhouette of the palm.

I googled Maunalua Bay and found The Nature Conservancy in Hawaii – Maunalua Bay, O’ahu and they announced that Malama Maunalua just received a grant to protect the coral reef by remove alien algae from our Bay. I was taken with the site. Imagine seeing a request to help plant a billion trees. Who could resist such a call! I planted 25. I like BIG projects!

My BIG project is helping the caregivers of orphans in Swaziland — helping them by providing the capital and training to start a sustainable business — like raising broiler chickens. Advocates for Africa’s Children

The thing that I am realizing, God, is just how VARIED Your world and Your people are. And how marvelous it is that we are all called to participate. Cleaning algae — planting a billion trees — caring for the widows and orphans — ALL are ways of experiencing and participating in YOUR LOVE!

Your LOVE seems like a WONDROUS WEB extending in and through ALL the COSMOS — CALLING us to COME and JOIN IN: COME AND DANCE — COME AND HELP — COME AND REJOICE!

Posted in Advocates for Africa's Children, being together in a compassionate presence, Choosing to respond, connections, JOY, Uncategorized, web of life

Green living roofs and My ROOTS

Posted on March 22, 2010 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

Conservatorium of Music, Sydney by Water Sensitive Urban Design, Sydney.

Good Morning, God

Thank You for Spring! And for a Sabbath Day in which I did play. A day in which my attention was caught by Green Roofs — literal green living roofs.

I love the idea and I love the images — not just of roofs but of living walls! I remember seeing sod roofs in photos of old peasant houses in some part of Europe. And now they are the latest thing — so in that Malcolm Gladwell has one on the roof of his apartment in NY. They cool the house in summer and keep it warmer in winter — great insulation. And they extend the life of the roof as it doesn’t get the weather wear and tear it would without that living cover. They act as a water filter too — and of course, convert CO2 into oxygen. Your Design, God, Your Design.

Somehow, it seemed a perfect thing to stumble upon as Spring begins. Spring AND a New Year — if one borrows from the Persians. I love new beginnings. It is like being repotted — a fresh start! A chance to spread my roots out and have more soil to occupy.

Roofs with plants growing on them must have a strong barrier to keep the roots from breaking in. Somehow I feel as if the opposite it true for me. I want my roots to burst through barriers — the barriers of BUSY — and grow more deeply into YOU.

YOU are The True Soil — the Ground of our Being. It comes to me that I don’t need to be thinking so much about myself and new habits and new growth. Rather I want to be thinking / pondering ways that I can put down deeper roots into YOU. And YES, LESS BUSY IS KEY!

Posted in A weekly day of rest, being repotted, Sabbath as PLAY