Transitions, being Grumpy and You, God

Posted on April 9, 2010 by a moment with god — 3 Comments

Transition Time. Photo by Pulelehua Quirk

Ah God,

Transitions are tricky — difficult. And preparing to do something really DIFFICULT — like running a marathon is particularly challenging.

Kit is running one in 11 days. We leave in just 6 days. And, I have noticed in that past that we both grow grumpier in the several weeks before the marathon. He is training hard and focused on what’s coming up. There isn’t a lot of energy left over for being cool and collected. He has an excellent excuse for being a tiny bit grumpy.

As for me — I overreact. Just like a mike too close to the speaker we set up a feedback loop. Oh my! When people are intertwined and love each other it is so easy for that to happen. I take things personally and flare. Actually, we were doing better than usual until he started to do the taxes.

Now, God, I am BLESSED! I have a husband who DOES the taxes. THATS GREAT! But the stress level has been such that last night I told him we are not ever ever going to combine doing taxes AND getting ready to go off for a marathon in the SAME WEEK. NOT EVER!

Well, yes, God. You do remind me that I am preparing for a big project, too. One that has me doing more than usual. I’m doing my share of grumpy. And, no. No, I didn’t do any centering prayer yesterday. I can feel You shaking Your Head.

I learn — but then I forget. Maybe that what Overloads are for? To help me learn to remember under STRESS? I did stop — right after You reminded me about Centering Prayer. I sat silently — wordlessly — consciously in Your Presence — and even after just a few minutes I felt much better.

Duh!

So transitions and overload are HARD because I think Time with You is expendable! In fact, for me it is often the first to go. Sigh. It is hard being a Slow Learner. I’m so thankful that You are ENCOURAGING — and FORGIVING! Thank YOU! And THANK YOU ESPECIALLY FOR KIT!

Posted in being a Slow Learner, busy, busy as an attack strategy, Centering Prayer, compassion to care for myself, Grumpy as a reminder, Humility or Needing Help!, lap time, learning, relationships, Transitions

Designing our own Dr. Seuss type pots

Posted on April 8, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

The 500 hats of Bartholomew Cubbins

Good Morning, God!

What a strange juxtaposition — the 500 hats of Bartholomew Cubbins AND the pots that we find ourselves in — or put others in.

Pots and Hats? I guess, God, that it started when it occurred to me that we are probably “involved” in several pots — maybe LOTS of POTS! When I label someone — and I try not to do that — I put that person in a pot. Even a “good label” can stifle growth. Children praised by the teacher for being “SMART” often don’t want to risk their label by trying something harder — they might fail and lose their label. But children who are praised for being “A HARD WORKER” will keep on tackling hard problems and end up learning more. But back to Hats!

Gosh, God, it has been years since I read the story. I think what I loved about it as a child was how the hats got better and better! They became fantabulous Dr. Seuss hats — original and ornate to the max. I loved them!

I guess I was thinking that maybe our pots can get to be like that.

foglia oil jar Photo from Bellezza

Maybe as we outgrow an old pot we can design a Dr. Seuss type pot? I confess, God, that the pots that have been in my mind up until now have been pretty dull! They were just Black or green plastic pots — like you can buy at Longs. But now I remember Italian ceramic pots! Pots with flowers and birds and designs all over them in warm Mediterranean colors. But, of course, Dr. Seuss would do even better than that!

The JOY is in the trying! And no one is going to know how big and outlandish my pots are! Can I have more than one? Maybe not 500 — but there really aren’t limits to this — right, God? You’re not like the King in the story. You delight Yourself in us.

I can even be like the Silverswords — pulling up my roots and DANCING in the moonlight!

Posted in Abundant Life, authority over my life, beauty, Being ENJOYED by God, being repotted, Dancing -- between pots

Roots, Pots and Redesigning our lives

Posted on April 7, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

The roots of a few tulip bulbs -- looking pretty eager for more room.

Hi God!

I was so happy to find an example of a plant that was root bound! Mind you, the big palms at Suz’s had more spectacular roots than these tulips. But this image is enough to give the idea.

When I was taking this photo I happened to notice the feral banyan (ficus) tree that had escaped its pot last year. I had to remove it from my garden because it kept putting roots up into the other plants’ pots. A very invasive neighbor.

The roots of a ficus that turned feral and escaped -- into other pots.

The contrast between the well mannered tulips and the assertive ficus strikes me as profound.

And it made me think about people. Some of us do sit quietly in our too small pot — our minds, or is it our Hearts — may go around and around — but we stay put.

By contrast, the Ficus Benjamina seems almost to have turned criminal. It set about getting what it needed to grow — even if it had to slip up into its neighbors’ pots to get it. It literally broke through the too small pot that sought to keep it imprisoned. I sort of admired it — even as I sawed it back and deprived it of water. Gosh, God. I hate to admit to killing it — though I suspect just a bit of water and it would revive.

All of this has made me wonder about the “criminals” in our world. Are they like my ficus? Have they turned feral to get what they want? Would an early transplant into a bigger pot have helped? Or is it a matter of a different pot altogether?

Can we seek Your Help in REDESIGNING our Pot? I think so, God. I think You WANT US TO DO THAT! Please HELP me to keep coming back to this idea, God — especially as I listen to Glimmer by Warren Berger. He has written a book about how Design Principles can be applied to redesigning lives — as well as tackling societal and environmental problems. What a delightful idea! Let’s ponder it, God!

Hmmm. Please help me APPLY it, God!

Posted in being repotted, compassion to care for myself, creativity in loving service, imagining, resourcefulness, Rethinking, self care as self compassion and humility, stopping to see, Venturing out of the shallows?, water and love

Office Overflow and Being Repotted

Posted on April 6, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Tulip fields near Seattle. Photo by Ann Peters

Good Morning God,

Last night I was freaked out by Office Overflow — it isn’t a good feeling. But I remembered the “rule” I’d read about how in a state of overload — just getting two tasks done — helps. I did two and I am feeling better.

Balance vs. Overload — they are Inner States, aren’t they God.

How easy it is to get distracted by the chores and miss the opportunities to appreciate. Yesterday I had a chance to appreciate photos from the Northwest. I particularly love these tulip fields because most unexpectedly last week I got a phone call in which a friend visiting Seattle talked about the beauty of the tulips — the colors, the massed colors — in a way that made me “see” them. Actually, this friend is not a “talker” and even better than her description of the tulips was hearing her TALK about it.

Talking is SO important. Or, maybe it is being HEARD that has to come first? For years I understood how a plant that is root bound in a pot — is like a person who has a situation that hasn’t been shared. Unspoken thoughts do go around and around and around. But, after my repotting experience with Suz — I can SEE the roots. I can see how desperate they are for SPACE — ROOM — NUTRIENTS.

Being heard — especially by someone’s Heart — is like being REPOTTED. Our thoughts, once spoken and heard, can spread out — breathe, relax, and feel fed. That is how I feel, God, when I sit and chat with You — Transplanted into a bigger pot. It is a very good feeling.

And, now, God, as I go back to work on my Office Overflow — help me to stop now and then and sit in Centering Prayer — and let You repot me.

Posted in appreciation, beauty, being repotted, Centering Prayer, Office Overflow

The Post-Easter Work — Spiritual Spring Cleaning

Posted on April 5, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

The first few flowers on a bare plumeria tree

Good Morning God!

The Glories of Easter are still resounding in my ears — namely the Hallelujah Chorus. Standing there in church with the brass reverberating through my bones and the voices of dear friends soaring — ah, God, THANK YOU!

Then, later in the day, I was captivated by these humble plumeria blossoms — although, humble should not be used with blossoms.

Appreciation seems to me to be such a major aspect of worship. My Mother is an Appreciator — and passed on her gift to me — via nature and/or nurture — for which I am very grateful. Of course, appreciation of nature leads to worship. But, I think appreciation of people (we, too, are part of Your Creation) is key to leading a Connected (to You) Life.

Dear friends are in Japan right now — joining throngs in appreciating the cherry blossoms. How marvelous is THAT! Surely, that appreciation brings You JOY! I mean, it brings me joy and I didn’t create the cherry blossoms or the people! Smile!

Now, by appreciation, I don’t mean evaluation — I guess I mean a respectful appreciation of their core humanity — including their warts, eccentricities, and unique deviations from our expectations.

Why, Yes, God. I suppose that might be called love. I hadn’t made the connection.

Do I hear You saying that I am not to LABEL people? Not to “cast them into outer darkness” because they don’t agree with me? Are You reminding me FORCEFULLY that I am not ABLE to judge? Reminding me that You meant it when You said BLESS BLESS AND DO NOT CURSE.

You say that You would rather help me CLEAN MY HEART than clean my office. You desire of me a Spiritual Spring Cleaning!

Ah, the Post-Easter Work begins. Thank You, God . . . thank YOU!

Posted in A Spiritual Spring Cleaning, an invitation to abundant life, appreciation, gratitude, Handel's Messiah, LOVE, respect, thankfulness, The Hallelujah Chorus

Easter, Bright and Glorious!

Posted on April 4, 2010 by a moment with god — 2 Comments

Bougainvillea twined around the fence near our driveway

Thank You God, for EASTER!

Thank You for the resurrection of Jesus the Christ and for the hope that came into the world on that Day.

Hope for a future life after death — hope for a more abundant life — now.

Just look, God, at these humble bougainvilleas. I was going to search for photos of flowers magnificent enough to put on this Easter blog.

But, these ordinary bracts when lit by Your SunLight GLOW! And isn’t THAT what You want to do with us! SHINE on us until we GLOW with Your Light and Love!

Perhaps it is because I am such a NOW person, God, that I focus on the ABUNDANT LIFE that Jesus promised — more than an afterlife later. Mind You, God, I LOVE the idea of Life after Death. The very idea of it gives PERSPECTIVE to this time and place. Everything seems more meaningful and to my surprise MORE important than it would be if this linear sequential time was all there was.

I’m sitting here — with my heart so full — full of THANKSGIVING AND REJOICING. My mind is full of AWE and AMAZEMENT. This is OVERWHELMING!

Now, God, how is it that it is so hard to share this Good News? How is it people turn aside? Hmm, yes, it might have something to do with how rigid some believers are — it might have something to do with people trying to scare folks into believing — turning the Good News into Bad News. Forgive us, God. Forgive us — and help us to stay in Your Light and Love — and not get in Your Way.

Posted in Abundant Life, Easter, Good News!

Holy Saturday and the Holy Spirit

Posted on April 3, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

What the tomb might have looked like before they put Jesus inside

Good Morning, God

Over the years I haven’t thought much about Holy Saturday. It was just a day on which I waited for Easter. Good Friday I can picture. Easter, too. But for Holy Saturday I have no images.

Now that I actually think about it — it seems to me that it was during this time that Jesus descended into Hell. That’s what it says in the Apostles’ Creed.

ancient image of Jesus preaching good news to the dead

I like the idea of Jesus visiting hell — the Word announcing Himself to all who had gone before. Mind you, God, Hell as a concept has fallen out of favor. In C.S. Lewis’ book the Great Divorce, spirits from Hell can go up to Heaven on a day’s “bus trip” — but then, C.S. Lewis presents Hell as a Place where people “choose” to stay — not where the wicked are cast into the fire. Lewis’ hell is more like a Northern English industrial city -grey, dull and smoggy.

But, I didn’t mean to get into THAT topic, God. I was just trying to imagine what happened on Holy Saturday.

Maybe I am jumping into Easter, but the verse I love best is the verse in Ephesians 1:19 about how THAT SAME GREAT SPIRIT that RAISED Christ Jesus from the DEAD is at work in US.

Yes, God. You DO want to be at WORK in Us. I believe it. But it really does seem way too astounding to be easily comprehended. Only it isn’t so much a matter of comprehending it — but rather being APPREHENDED BY IT!

Sigh, I want to be apprehended immediately — I want to be GRABBED by Your Holy Spirit now! But God, for me it seems to be a slow moment-by-moment matter of focusing attention on You. It’s about Focused Attention and The TRUST/COURAGE to RESPOND to Your small nudges. You wait for me to say, Yes. And saying yes is scary.

But, with Your help, God, YES! YES, GOD!

Posted in a thought or two on Hell, Apostles' Creed, Holy Saturday, The Holy Spirit

Good Friday, Judas and Me

Posted on April 2, 2010 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

A deep look into Space and Time. The Goods South field

Good Morning, God

Good Friday — I wanted something black as a photo — and I looked and looked.

This photo — filled with galaxies — seems perfect. I tend to get “sea sick” when I contemplate looking back at close to the beginning of our cosmos. My Mind can’t handle it.

My mind / heart has a hard time with Good Friday, too.

I have to try to “reduce it” to get it to fit into words. It is MYSTERY. It is beyond me. But even the events we know about (assuming there was a lot more going on cosmically speaking) are powerful. You COME to OPEN a WAY for us to CONNECT with YOU.

You do not do it INTELLECTUALLY — it is so symbolic that Jesus chose not to speak — You did it PHYSICALLY — Jesus — beaten, spat upon, crucified — for me.

Knowing it was FOR ME — is so different than knowing it was for US. I got the FOR US. It was the FOR ME that took me longer — a lot longer. Perhaps it was being raised an Episcopalian? We repeated a general confession weekly and received forgiveness. But SIN wasn’t a big thing for us — like it was for Baptists. It took time for me to become aware of my innate inadequacy. And that happened only when I read in Romans that sin could be defined as “Missing the Mark”. That I did!

Back to Good Friday — Jesus said it would have been better for Judas had he not been born — but God, I keep thinking that when Jesus said “Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do” that he might have been thinking of Judas, too. I hope so. I find Judas distressingly human — after all that time with Jesus — he didn’t understand You. He wanted You to do his will. But, then I so often want YOU to do what I want. Please help me.

Posted in being FORGIVEN by God, Forgiving, God's Provision, Good Friday, Heavens declare the Glory of God

Maundy Thursday — and the Waiting Cross

Posted on April 1, 2010 by a moment with god — 2 Comments

The cross after Maundy Thursday service at Central Union 2009

Ah, God, THANK YOU!

This is what the people will see coming out of the Maundy Thursday service at Central Union Church, tonight.

It is so simple — yet simply unforgettable.

The cross prepared for Good Friday. Last year I stood there gazing at it. Stood and stared. Wordless.

We try with words. Words fail. But as I stood there, silent — my Body Knew. Even now, looking at last years photo — my throat constricts, my eyes fill — I KNOW.

So, THANK YOU, GOD, THANK YOU!

Leaving Central Union Church after Maundy Thursday service 09

The service is built around the Last Supper when Jesus ate with his disciples and Judas left to betray him. Judas — off to force Jesus into Exercising Power — willing Jesus to do his (Judas’s) will and reign as King.

Sigh, if I were there — so certain I was RIGHT — could I have done that — tried to maneuver Jesus into doing MY will? It doesn’t take much, does it God, to tip us into trying to maneuver You.

We get it backwards. We should be seeking Your Will. We should, in humility accept how limited our vision is — how much You want to expand us.

You do move in us — nudging us onward — out of our comfort zone. Oh, how important it is to pray as Jesus did — NOT MY WILL, BUT THINE, BE DONE!

Please, God, help me — help us ALL — to seek You and to seek Your Will.

Posted in Holy Week, humility, Maundy Thursday, responding to God's Spirit, Rethinking, stopping to see, the waiting cross

Holy Wednesday — Bears and Betrayals

Posted on March 31, 2010 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

A Bear Alert posted in Yosemite

Good Morning, God

Today is Holy Wednesday — thought to have been the day that Judas went to the Religious Rulers and arranged to betray Jesus. Betrayal is so painful. It is a sort of Inter Personal Treason. How does it happen?

You know, God, I sort of hope that Judas didn’t really mean to do anything other than just force Jesus to call on His Heavenly power and take over.

Yikes! That is PLAYING GOD, isn’t it! There is no “JUST” about trying to force YOU to do anything.

Sigh, the thing is, God — when BEARS or lions or tigers harm a human — they are just doing what they are sort of supposed to do. But for one human to betray or harm another? That seems wrong on a very basic level. THAT IS NOT THE WAY YOU HAVE DESIGNED US! I think we have to be damaged to do that — damaged before or after birth. There seems to be an awful lot of “damaged” people running around these days. The level of disrespect and hate seems so much higher than it ever was before.

Is it because of a rise in HOPELESSNESS? A by-product of economic troubles? Or is it a failure to find meaning? Viktor Frankl said that we are born with a NEED for Meaning. And if for some reason that need is not met — then we turn aside in to the perversions of Power or Pleasure.

Of course, power is useful, and pleasure is a gift, God. But if we put them in the place of MEANING then they become perverted!

Funny, isn’t it, God, now that I have forgiven AT&T and — yes, stopped hating them — I want everyone to stop hating. I’m not sure I can say I have come around to respecting AT&T but I’m trying. Please, God! Help us forgive ourselves and others. Help us RESPECT one another.

Posted in a series of molts and upgrades, Betrayal, Forgiving, Holy Wednesday, Holy Week, Removing the Root of Bitterness, respect, Trusting God