End of the Year Thoughts

Posted on December 30, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

taking a photo of Suzanne as she takes a photo of the restaurant

Good Morning, God!

I’m remembering a line from M. Scott Peck. It is something to the effect that A Parent Who Refuses to Learn From His Child Is Condemned to an Early Senility. That statement rings too true!

Thank You, God, that my husband, Kit, and I do seem — finally — to be learning from Suzanne. It is so easy for children to lose heart and give up on their parents. Now that I think about it, God, there have been long periods when I have given up on myself!

“Not giving up” — persisting — is, like many gifts, a two-edged sword. As I write that I “sit up straighter” thinking of Suzanne’s encouraging words. I’m so thankful, God, that Suzy has not “given up” on us.

Our plans for this morning went awry — as happens when cell phones are not left on. But, while we continued to call — Suzy and Kit and I gathered in our queen-sized bed and talked and talked and talked.

I’m feeling that I have finally reached the point where I recognize just how much I need Suzy’s help. I’m feeling it, God — not just thinking it.

Thank You, God! Thank You. It turns out that I am a very proud person. [A gift of self-awareness that came while reading the Secret Garden.] And it is incredibly hard for VPPs to even catch a glimpse of that pride, let alone get “free enough” to cry for help.

Ah, and now to take that help! Because, God, I have been here before, but briefly. I will want to forget. I will want to go back to protecting myself by being a Very Proud Person.

Please, God, I will need You to help me follow through. You and Suzanne.

Tagged with: being a Very Proud Person, Pride
Posted in accepting my need for help, Being a Very Proud Person, daughters, Families, family visits, learning, Pride

A Lovely Layered Day

Posted on December 29, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

standing under the Hau Tree walkway -- looking at San Souci Beach

Good Morning, God!

Such a layered day I had yesterday. First came my Wednesday early morning women’s prayer group. Then our family of three — including daughter Suzy visiting from California — breakfasted with friends at the Big City Diner. Then Suz and I left for what turned out to be a successful shopping trip to Ala Moana.

We lunched at the Pineapple Room, then went off to the beach — where we both read the Secret Garden, one of our favorite children’s books. Suzy read in the sun with a book while I read on my iPhone under the shade of the hau trees.

Then we were off to three stores to find more spinach for another greens-and-cheese casserole. We wanted that to augment the left-over turkey as we repeated Christmas dinner at our house with my mom, my brother David and his wife Barba.

But first we trooped over to my mom’s to open her birthday gifts. Then we caravanned in two cars back to our apartment. There were six of us — a loud laughter-filled family of six — happily sounding like a dozen or more. We all like each other — even more than we did a decade or so ago. Liking and enjoying are not necessarily a part of loving. . . or maybe they are?

Love is not a simple or single entity, is it God. Love, too, like our days, is layered and flavored. Perhaps, families are like various varieties of grapes that are not so much blended as fermented together. Hmm. All sorts of comparisons spring to mind. But, enough for now.

On to a New Day. And soon, a New Year.

Posted in Families, family visits, LOVE

A Family Birthday — with Friends, too

Posted on December 28, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Mom at her 97th Birthday Dinner

Good Morning, God!

Aaaah! A lovely birthday dinner last night, celebrating my Mom’s 97th birthday! Actually, her presents didn’t get opened last night as we all went home to bed by 7:30 p.m.

But, my mom said she loves extended birthdays and I know what she means. We will open them today.

The dinner was made even more special by meeting and greeting good friends who were also dining there. And on the way out there were more greetings and kind words, from people we didn’t even know, which warmed my heart. It felt good to share our joy with others.

Dave (my brother) and Barba had brought Mom’s Birthday Cake with them from Grass Valley, California. A homemade Rum Bundt Cake. Such a wonderful thing for them to do! And no easy matter to transport it safely!

Good times, God. Good times! Thank You! Still, it felt really good to crawl into bed last night!

Posted in Families, family visits, friends, Mothers and Fathers, people as gifts, thankfulness

Families and Trees — And Being Together

Posted on December 27, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Trees on the mauka side of Kapiolani Park

Good Morning, God!

How very blessed I am with family — our immediate family and our extended family. This photo of trees reminded me of how we are all separate trees but as we grow our branches intertwine. They intertwine more and more — if we are lucky. . . or wise.

I’m pretty sure our roots are even MORE intertwined. All those unseen connections — being nourished by the very ground itself. As You nourish us.

Today is my mother’s 97th birthday and we shall celebrate it with family from the Mainland — my brother David, his wife Barba, and our daughter Suzanne. We are blessed — to have my mother, and to be together! Blessed, too, that daughter, Sandy, came out earlier to celebrate early.

We are so fortunate to have families of friends, too, God — people we have shared lives with over the years. Hmm. Sharing. There are all kinds of sharing. And all kinds of “families.”

Recently, I was delighted to see a young man I know working at Kokua Market. I really don’t “know” Blake. But, I know his grandmother. And every Labor Day, for longer than Blake is old, we have joined with his grandmother and her children and then her grandchildren to celebrate the life of her first husband — and the life of our daughter Patty. So, Blake is family to me.

Being together, in space and time. Being together in One Heart. If we could but “see” God, it would look even more beautiful than these trees. Thank You!

Tagged with: families, families of friends, growing up together
Posted in Families, Focus on what unites us, friends, gratitude, growing toward up

A Family Christmas Dinner

Posted on December 26, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

red hibiscus at my mom's

Good Morning, God!

Ah, our Christmas Dinner was a success! Daughter Suz created a fresh spinach and leek casserole with gruyere cheese and cream and butter. Marvelous! And when I announced that she had worked for hours and hours and hours on it. She said, “Oh, no. Just hours and hours.”

Kit went to pick up my brother and his wife, Dave and Barba (correct spelling), freshly arrived from California, while I wrestled with the not-quite-thawed turkey. Just as I was getting a good grip on the ice-cold neck my phone rang. It was my mother calling to say she was sick, dizzy and maybe dying — and needed me.

I yelled, “I’ll be there just as soon as the turkey is in the oven! When I arrived she was just fine. My family does have a strong dramatic streak, God. Thankfully, I am aware of that and mostly I handle it pretty well. In fact I, too, can play Drama Queen.

After getting my mom settled, with lunch and a game, I returned home and by 5:00 all of us, and the food and the house, were ready for company. Kit drove over to pick up our guests and the dinner began. Dave and Barba were in great form and my mom looked great and we ALL talked and talked and talked. My mom outdid herself in eating — which made me very happy.

Families — at their best — are the best of joys. In my family I am the oldest child — the one that has to be forgiven. So, I give my brother a lot of credit for our being a loving family. I’m thankful, albeit exhausted.

Posted in Christmas, Families, family visits

Christmas Eve at Central Union Church

Posted on December 25, 2011 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

A small Christmas Angel

Good Morning, God!

I’m up early — just to say THANK YOU for Christmas — then I shall go back to bed, back to sleep. Last night Kit, Suzy and I had our traditional Christmas Eve dinner at Duc’s on Maunakea Street.

Before dinner we went the Children’s Service at Central Union Church. What fun to be sitting there with little angels and shepherds and more than a few kings in front of us in the pews! I must say, we were also surrounded by grandparents with iPhones and video cameras! It was all about “seeing” the children as they took turns going up to see “Baby Jesus.” The congregation sang the appropriate carol as children processed up to see “Baby Jesus.” They went up in flocks by their costume — angels, shepherds, animals, and kings — followed by all the rest of the children.

At the end of the service I waited expectantly for music on which to process out. No music. No exiting! Everyone — including Suzy and then me — went forward to take more photos!

It takes me back to my one and only time as pageant director. Somehow, I thought it would be more artistic if it was played out in the dark. Duh! What was I thinking? Now I can laugh. But I was lucky I wasn’t tarred and feathered — more feathered than this little angel!

Ah, the Mistakes and Blunders we have made. Yes, make that the Mistakes and Blunders I have made.

But, back to Christmas Eve! The church was filled with poinsettias — 250 of them — in memory of dear dear Frannie. Her husband shared that with me and he was obviously pleased — as well he should have been. What a lovely way to share his love and his sorrow.

Love and Sorrows fill our lives, God. Fill our Hearts. How important it is that You are Willing/Wanting to Enter Into Our Hearts. Oh Come. Please Come, Emmanuel.

Tagged with: flocks of little angels
Posted in Choosing to respond, Christmas, LOVE

Here comes Christmas — More than we can grasp

Posted on December 24, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Nativity scene at Arcadia

Good Morning, God!

Today is Christmas Eve — the day before Christmas when all is Waiting and Holding its breath. I love the legends and folktales, God. Isn’t there one about the animals being able to speak on Christmas Eve?

I seems to me that the legends and folktales come closer to capturing the reality of Christmas than our current understanding. We are such a rational culture — ah, to our loss, God, to our loss.

Animals speaking seems so right. My mom’s cat is so clearly trying to communicate with us. And we are so pitifully non-telepathic. Clearly words cannot capture or explain what You want to tell us. So in Christmas you “act it out.”

I look at this lovely scene with Mary, Joseph and Jesus — plus a shepherd, three kings and a sheep. Perfect! The highest and lowest rankings of humans and a sheep. Surely, God, all of us are like sheep who have gone astray — lost our way. Forgotten that loving one another — caring for ourselves and others — helping people help themselves — all of these create the lasting riches of a meaningful life.

It seems to me, God, that it is important to understand that we do not understand. I choose love, God. I choose You coming in a special way as a baby. Entering Time and Space — to bring not just Love, but Hope. I need them both!

Tagged with: Christmas brings love and hope, understanding that we don't understand
Posted in Christmas, hope, Hope as a gift from God, LOVE, Understanding

Committing to the Dance of Life

Posted on December 23, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

The Honolulu Academy of Arts: Photo from sue96815.wordpress.com

Good Morning, God!

Yesterday I actually left home without my iPhone. A whole day without a photographic record! Hmm. But, perhaps, I have more snapshots stored in my mind because of that.

The exhibit of Yuan paintings at the Honolulu Academy of Arts was worth several mental images. One was of geese that I thought were flying in a line. Each goose was in a different pose — each one clearly an individual. I stared at them — delighted, but bothered. Birds in flight ought not to look that different. They looked as if they were engaged in a fanciful dance — not flight. And, a write-up I read later described the scroll as “a misty evocative environment” with some geese resting and some in flight. But they were all in a line . . . which did confuse me.

But, then I remembered what the exhibit had stressed. These master painters lived during the Mongol takeover of China. During this time many of the intelligentsia refused to work for the Mongol rulers. Instead they turned to the arts. Perhaps the geese “dancing in flight” were declaring their freedom — their independence — from foreign rulers?

That was a nice idea, God, but it seems this scroll was painted in the Southern Song period BEFORE the Mongols. So my “interpretation” no longer worked. How easy it is filter past events though our present mindsets. Perhaps the artist just enjoyed letting each goose do her own dance?

Still, I love the idea of “dancing in flight.” I see that in people around me. People, who in the face of adversity, laugh and dance and create. Not without tears, God. I think we should not live without tears. But, neither should we live without committing to the Dance of Life.

Tagged with: a moment with God, committing to the Dance of Life, dancing in flight
Posted in Dancing, freedom, perspectives, Understanding

Seeking, Asking and Knocking — Looking Ahead

Posted on December 22, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

The view from Neiman Marcus's Mariposa restaurant

Good Morning, God!

I had such a GOOD day, yesterday. Our oldest daughter, Suzanne, has arrived from L.A. We spent the day running a few errands and then Christmas shopping at Ala Moana.

While we were running the errands we got to complaining about how slowly our iPhones ran when they were searching the web. So, I called AT&T to complain. Fortunately, I did say to Nicole, the customer service rep, “Maybe I’m doing something wrong.” Yes, God, there was a slightly sarcastic tinge to my voice. Still, I was thankful I added that — because I was doing something wrong!

I had the wifi setting ON instead of OFF. So my poor dear phone spent minutes trying to find a wifi connection — instead of searching the web. I changed the setting, restarted my iPhone and the response time changed to a second or two. Amazing.

Sometimes solutions to problems are just as simple as “changing a setting.” The good news, God, is that Suzy is going to help me “change a few settings.” The even better news is that I want her help!

Well, yes, I was grumpy a few times as she pointed out problems — and You’re right, I did try to change the subject several times. Let’s face it, God, changing settings, habits, and definitions is painful. Even just thinking about it is painful. Sigh.

But, I have help! My mom is busy setting a good example and Suz will keep on persisting. But, inner changes really do require that I keep on seeking, asking and knocking for Your Help!

Tagged with: accepting help, asking for help, changing my "settings"
Posted in accepting my need for help, being repotted, Changing, daughters, Definitions, family visits

Angels and Humans

Posted on December 21, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

An Angel standing watch over the library at Arcadia

Good Morning, God!

Yesterday I joined a dear friend for breakfast at the Arcadia retirement residence. She had worked with me on the library committee there since 1997, and we both retired this August. It did my heart good to see her and so many other friends that I’d made over the years.

I enjoyed the Christmas decorations, too — especially the Angels. That got me to thinking about angels — and about us humans. Angels seem like such good beings. Well, not all of them, certainly. But, I have the impression that we are much more of a mixed lot than they are. I mean, even inside just one of us, we are mixed — filled with lots of Sub-Selves.

I ran across the term Sub-Selves in Douglas Kenrick’s book, Sex, Murder and the Meaning of Life. I must say, the term Sub-Selves really resonated! I have a lot of them . . . probably more than I can even name.

Just recently, I have decided that Sorrow is a Sub-Self. I don’t mean the feeling of sorrow. I mean the part of me that “gets” sorrow — and understands its purposes and worth. This thought is no doubt glaringly obvious. But it was a brand new idea for me. I guess I just thought of sorrow as something to “get over” — like a patch of rough winds on a flight across the Pacific.

Now I see it as a part of me. Just as much a part of me as the part that appreciates beauty or the part that loves to share. All of these Sub-Selves seem to come with the Standard Human Model.

Now I’m wondering about angels, God. I think of them as so superior. But, do they have diverse sub-selves? Or could they be an earlier, simpler model?

Tagged with: Angels, humans as complex beings
Posted in Sorrows of the Deep, Sub-Selves