A Beautiful but Empty Marketplace

Posted on January 25, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

The Aloha Tower on the Honolulu Waterfront

Good Day, God!

I love water — love the ocean — and I particularly enjoy eating a meal while looking at the water. That was my hope this morning, God, as I drove off to the waterfront.

The last time I had gone to the Aloha Marketplace, it was bustling with busy shops and people happily strolling around. Sigh. Not so, today, God. Most shops were closed with For Lease signs on them. The restaurant we were going to was only open for dinner. And, there was not a tourist in sight. Not any local folks there either.

I know the economy is BAD, God. But I’ve been down in Waikiki and it seemed to be doing fairly well. This lovely spot overlooking the harbor is a disaster. It is geared to cruise ships and they are few and far between right now. The whole property has been “For Sale” for several months. But, I wonder if anyone can do much without the ships coming in.

We are all so interconnected God! Trouble in one part of the globe affects us all. But, we live on the East end of Oahu and life is good out here. So, I only had an intellectual understanding of the recession. And that’s pretty close to No Understanding.

I suspect I am not alone, God. In history class we all found it appalling when Queen Marie Antoinette of France suggested that the peasants rioting for bread should “eat cake.” Alas, God, people at the top have always failed to “understand” the realities at the bottom.

Even just this small dose of “awareness” has been sobering. Please, God, open our Hearts!

Tagged with: Aloha Tower, cruise ships in Honolulu, The Aloha Marketplace
Posted in acknowledging another's existence, attitudes, attunement, processing on deeper levels, setting my life in context

The Secret Garden: Transformation and Recovery

Posted on January 24, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett

Good Day, God!

I was chatting with our Hawaii Kai librarian this morning and shared that I had read the Secret Garden over Christmas. She brightened and said what a timeless classic it was. I agreed and then I said “It’s a Transformational Book.

That’s a good word for it, God. The book does show how we can — after all our temper tantrums and fits — open ourselves to Your Transformational Power. In the book the characters referred to the Transformational Power as “magic” and “fresh air” and being “outdoors.” But, I give You the credit.

I love knowing that we CAN change. That knowledge opens the door to HOPE. And, it takes hope just to imagine there could be a better future. It takes hope — and a lot of hard work — to take even one small step forward.

This is close to my heart, God, because I, myself, am undergoing a transformation of sorts. Or perhaps it is more of a “recovery.” Here’s an example. This morning in my jewelry making class I introduced myself to 3 of the new class members and one of my class member from last semester. Then I realized: Last semester I didn’t learn a single person’s name. YIKES! Talk about being on Overload!

Yet, I just didn’t realize HOW depleted I was. My Emotional Self was not just TIRED, she was grumpy, irritable and depressed. But, The Conscious Me wasn’t willing to hear any of that. So, now I’m recording a daily voice memo on my iPhone. I’m just talking about what’s going on inside me and around me. Then I play it back. Wow! I HEAR how I FEEL! I hear my full range of Emotional Tones — something I can’t do when I’m talking.

So, Thank You, God. Thank You for hearing me — and, now, thank You for helping me to hear myself. It’s a step!

Tagged with: amomentwithgod, I hear my full range of Emotional Tones, recording a daily memo so I can really HEAR myself
Posted in being heard into speaking, Hearing, hearing myself, hope, recovery time, slow incremental change

The Lion Dance and the Importance of Fun

Posted on January 23, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

The Lion's Head in a Lion Dance celebrating Chinese New Years

Good Day, God!

And a very good day it was — complete with a colorful and noisy Lion Dance at my Rotary lunch-time meeting. Noise is an important part of the dance — the idea being to scare away evil spirits at the start of the New Year. To “ensure” good fortune for the coming year the audience “feeds” the lion money — in red envelopes or just plan bills.

What tickled me was what fun people had for their money. To be sure, God, it wasn’t much money. But it was a lot fun. And part of me said, YES! That is what life is about! Make things fun! Make a game out of things.

There have been a number of books out recently that talk about how captivating games are. Good games involve ascending levels of challenge so that one can push toward ever more mastery. These games make it clear when you fail a level. The feedback is immediate.

Ah, but there is one special component, God: These games expect you to fail and fail repeatedly. They require persistence in the face of failure. Persistence is a wonderful “skill” or “mindset” to have for life!

When I went to school, they “labeled” children Slow, Medium and Fast. That sad thing was both the teachers and the children believed those labels. But Research has shown that without the presence of those toxic labels, very often the child who is slow to start will finish ahead of the fast child.

So what am I inching toward, God? I guess I want all of us humans to realize that failing and being slow are normal parts of our lives — that we can persist — we can keep working at things. We can grow and improve. And maybe doing that is the most fun of all.

Tagged with: learning as inherently fun, Lion Dance, persistence
Posted in Endurance, Enjoyment, layer upon layer, learning, Persistence

Time for myself — Time to Raise my Personal Responsibility Level

Posted on January 22, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

two ducks flying home

Good Day, God!

To be sure, the birds are only small black dots on this photo — but catching birds in flight is always a treat. They were flying home just as Kit and I were driving out to celebrate his half birthday. Half-birthday observances are one of his family traditions and I enjoy it.

I am slowly getting used to the idea of having enough time for myself. It isn’t easy as it sounds. Before I could depend on “Good Deed Doing” to provide the excuse for not managing myself well.

Now, I am nose to nose with the Call to upgrade my level of Personal Responsibility. Yikes! High Time! Yes, God, part of me does say that. But then I think how fortunate I was to have been able to slip and slide by growing-up for all these years!

That is yet another “voice” inside me. Needless to say, other voices are “Tisk Tisking” at that immature attitude. It was Robert Ornstein who wrote that we are not homogenized selves — but rather an assortment of “juntas” trying to take over the national TV station. That sure feels right, God.

So, now I am tackling Calendar Control! I’m firmly resolved to do no more double booking! That will be helped when I figure out how to sync iCal on my computer, iPad and iPhone. Thank goodness I can call Apple! Too bad, God, that there isn’t a problem-solving service like that for ordinary (non-tech) problems. They would make a fortune AND help so many people!

Now I am off to bed — to curl up with Judith Kolberg’s book: ADD-Friendly ways to Organized your Life. I’ve read it before. But this time I’m going to go really slow — then review and repeat and review it again. I am very thankful, God, that I have time for myself. Please help me use it wisely.

Tagged with: growing toward up
Posted in Ongoing Transformation, responsibility, simple joys of daily life, slow incremental change, time, Transitions

Walking in the Dawn’s Early Light

Posted on January 21, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Looking south 7 minutes after sun rise

Good Day, God!

I’m really a night owl, God. So I love it when I wake up in the dark. Ah! It is still night — I haven’t missed it.

Waking up after the sun is up just doesn’t feel right. And, because my husband Kit really is a morning lark, mostly I do wake up when it is still night time.

Finally I noticed that even when the days start getting longer, the sun is still rising later. Now, with the Star Walk app on my iPhone I have the exact figures.

On December 19, 2011, the day was 10 hours and 49 minutes long and the sun rose at 7:02 a.m. The day stayed the same length until December 26 when it lengthened by one minute to 10:50. But, meanwhile the sun was rising at 7:04, 7:05 and on December 26 at 7:06. In other words, while the days were getting longer, the sun was rising later. By January 7th the sun was rising at 7:10 and it will continue to rise at that time until January 26th when it will rise at 7:09, beginning a progression of earlier rises.

What that all means is that in January, I pretty much walk in the dark — dark enough that I wear white. And I love it. I love watching the Light slowly fill the sky — coloring the clouds — and waking the birds. It’s a surprising, simple joy.

Hmm. Maybe the best part is that I actually noticed and investigated this prolonged period (19 days) where the sun rises at exactly the same time. Noticing means my brain isn’t filled to overflowing with To Do List activities — and worse yet, Must Do activities! I’m smiling, God. I’m retired and I’m thankful!

Tagged with: being able to notice the world around me
Posted in Abundant Life, appreciation, seasonal changes, seeing, simple joys of daily life, slow incremental change, stopping to see

Sunlight, Seas, Trees and Me

Posted on January 20, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

The view driving around Diamond Head

Good Day, God!

I’m back in my regular routine and thankful! It is a beautiful world and especially in January and February when the sun here in Hawaii is tilted to the South. The Light seems even more glorious.

This particular view delights me every time I drive around Diamond Head. The problem is, I drive by. But today they were hanging big metal nets on the side of Diamond Head to stop — or at least slow — falling rocks. So the traffic was stopped. Voila! Photo time!

Yes, that does remind me, God, of the benefits of pausing. And that reminds me that I haven’t done my Centering Prayer Time for today. It is so easy, God, to forget about Silent Prayer. I guess Extroverts like me love TALKING prayers — Prayers with WORDS — so we know what’s going on.

But, I am beginning to accept that my Conscious Mind does not get to be privy to everything. You and my Hidden Parts have things to do — lessons to learn — comfort to receive. Of course, since I don’t get to be part of it, I don’t exactly know. But that’s my guess about what’s going on.

You know, God, if You would SHARE just a little bit of what goes on when I’m doing Centering Prayer, it would make it so much easier to remember to do it. Sigh. I’m pretty sure You just responded that AFTER I’ve done regular Centering Prayer for a while, THEN I might “catch” an image or word. Dang!

That thought might not have been from You, God. But it sure does feel right. This is an opportunity for my Conscious Mind to step aside — and try not to be in a snit about it. Oh? She can be in a snit if she likes — as long as she goes and does it!

Tagged with: Craving Words as a way to know, Diamond Head, Hawaii
Posted in Centering Prayer, Perspective, Prayer, Silence

Unfurling — Still more growing to do

Posted on January 19, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

an anthurium blossom slowly unfurling

Good Day, God!

Anthuriums are slow to grow. They start out tightly furled. In fact, when they begin I can’t really tell if the shoot will turn out to be a leaf or a flower. It takes time for it to fully unfurl. Even when shoots are fully extended they continue to stretch out and grow.

I feel very much like this anthurium, God. I certainly don’t feel fully unfurled. Indeed, I’m not even sure if I am a leaf or a flower — an unsettling thought.

I feel good about the “still growing” part, God, even though I have lived long enough to know that “growing pains” are to be expected. Painful or not, we are called to grow.

Learning is part of it. But Head Learning is only a small part of it. Our Hearts are called to learn — called to learn compassion, called to learn to see each other as having the potential to become New Creatures.

Calvin and his transmogrifier

When I think of “becoming” I find my mind going back to Calvin and his Transmogrifer. Wouldn’t that be wonderful, God! I could sit in my prayer chair / transmogrifer and BOINK just become a New Creature. A new improved model.

I guess that instant fix does happen to some folks — Saint Paul on the road to Damascus — folks instantly delivered from drug addictions or completely healed of terminal illnesses.

But, for me, Becoming or Unfurling is a slow business — very slow. And some days I revert to a tiny furled shoot that looks like it will be lucky to become a leaf. Sigh. No Spiritual Transmogrifiers?

Just as well, God. Because I an not a Product coming out with New Models. I am a Child. And Growth comes more from the Failing and Forgiving than from “getting IT right!”

Tagged with: a moment with God, the slow hard path to unfurling, the tempting idea of a Spiritual Transmogrifier
Posted in a hand up, Compassion, growing toward up, layer upon layer, LOVE

Attitudes, Adjustments and Being Alive

Posted on January 18, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

a hibiscus at my mom's retirement home

Good Day, God!

Hibiscus only bloom for one day — but they surely do give that one day their all! We, on the other hand have thousands and thousands of days. I’ve been pondering that, God. And visiting my 97 year old mom brings the number of our days into sharper focus.

Patty, our middle daughter who died at 18, surely grasped the evanescence of life. Her motto was Carpe Diem! Seize the Day! That’s not all that easy to do, God.

A day or two ago I arrived to visit my mom only to find her napping — waking up to complain about being in a Time Warp. I said, Aha! My mother has been abducted by Space Aliens and transported into a Time Warp! We both laughed.

Having a mother who grew up on Science Fiction is a rare gift, God! In fact, having a mother at all at my age is a gift! Having a mother who has a pretty positive attitude and loves games and loves a good laugh is even more of a gift.

So, I am sitting here, God, looking at the hibiscus and trying to grasp that Time doesn’t matter anymore than Size or Space matter. As I search for what does matter — the only word that comes to me is Heart. That feels right. You do see our hearts, God. And You see our hearts and our limitations with compassion.

Now, please help us, God, to see as You see. To see with compassion — ourselves and those around us — near and far.

Tagged with: the adjustments of aging with a scifi spin
Posted in Compassion, Hearts, seeing, time

Back from a Week OFF

Posted on January 17, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

A sunrise walk on Martin Luther King Day

Good Day God,

I’m sitting here pondering my Week Off. It wasn’t just a week off from “work.” It was a week off from playing with friends, too. I even took off from my beloved Wednesday Morning Women’s Prayer Group.

The first thing I learned was I REALLY NEED TO DO THIS! The second thing I learned was I needed to do this A LOT MORE THAN I REALIZED!

It’s funny, God. My Mom has been telling me for years, “You are doing TOO much!” Ah, but who listens to mothers . . . or heavenly parents . . . either.

I can remember writing a story for a dear friend at Arcadia — a story about how we “borrow against the Body’s Bank” when we need to get through things. Then we have to pay back the loan. Paying back is tricky. We don’t get statements in the mail. We don’t have an outflow meter. We don’t seem to be able to quantify our “debt.”

I can’t quantify my debt either, God. I just know that I have more to pay back. When I ask myself “how much more?” I come up with the image that my Battery is still only 45% charged. That’s not enough is it. So I will be going a bit slower for a while.

Looking back at my Week Off what amazes me the most is that I had the “wit” to take it. Hmmm. Surely my daughters or friends must have suggested it? In the past I think I have just waited to get sick. I guess for me SICK was the only acceptable excuse.

One clear lesson is that Voluntary Down Time is ever so much better than INVOLUNTARY Down Time. I have lots more to say about my Week, God. But, it can wait. Right now, I just want to focus on how very very thankful I am. Thank You!

Tagged with: A Whole Week Off, Doing not much, gentle meandering and being open
Posted in Cherishing our Bodies, Needed Repair Time, refraining from work, rest

Changing Viewpoints, Changing Perspectives

Posted on January 9, 2012 by a moment with god — 2 Comments

Looking at the "back side" of Koko Crater

Good Night, God!

Koko Crater is one of my favorite objects to photograph. But almost always I take photos from the Hawaii Kai side. This view was taken on our walk up Makapuu,, on the other side.

There is a lot to be said for changing viewpoints. So often we get stuck in one point of view. In fact, I remember how shocked I was to realize that Koko Crater was hollow! Of course, intellectually I realized craters are almost by definition hollow. Still, it didn’t look hollow from where I sat.

I’m going to refrain from obvious applications of this idea and go to one that I believe is not so obvious. That’s about our “routines.”

When I retired for the first time, at the end 1994, I must have been without a normal routine. But, since the start of 1997 when I started working again, I have been living a fairly structured life. Even our trips have been not real vacations, as we were either doing a marathon (husband Kit as the runner) or group tours, or visiting family.

So, having an At-Home-Retreat will be a change — sort of a change of viewpoint? Furthermore, God, I am not going to blog about it. I couldn’t blog when I was on my Snowmass Retreat. And it feels “right” that I should keep silent during this one. Seeds need time to put out roots. Pulling them up out of the dirt to see how they are doing — is tempting, but not a good idea.

So, if all goes well, I’ll be back to blogging next week, God. Meanwhile, I’m hoping to mostly just listen.

Tagged with: an at-home retreat., Time outside of Routines
Posted in Changing, Hearing, listening, lying fallow, Perspective