Tornados, Trust and Transitions

Posted on April 6, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

One of several tornados over Dallas

Good Day, God!

Our friend Ann from Dallas was visiting last month when she got word of a Tornado Warning back home. That was scary enough, God. I didn’t grow up with tornados so I’m skittish about them.

But, then just a couple of days ago I got an email from Ann saying that she had spent the afternoon in the library basement as there was a Tornado Watch. She “had to pop up periodically,” reminding students not to stand by glass doors and skylights.

And, by golly, God, tornados came! She said that the most impressive video (click to load) showed semis being tossed way up into the air. I watched it several times and it was “unreal” to watch great big truck rigs zoom up over 100 feet into the air — spinning around and then landing hundreds of yards away. The wind blew them around as easily as if they were window curtains flapping in the breeze.

All of this is unsettling, God. This Earth has been so “well-behaved” for so long that I have just expected it will continue that way. I have been to Yosemite and marveled at Half Dome — cut by glaciers — but that was long long ago. That was then. Our Now seems so peaceful, God. And, I want it to stay that way!

Such a Balancing Act You have given us, God — to Appreciate Now and still look ahead and prepare for the Tornados of Life. It reminds me of the old story of Grasshoppers and Ants. People seems to be one or the other. But to be an Anopper? Saving for Rainy Days — not to mention Tornados — and yet able to set aside both Time, Money and Energy for rejoicing in our Daily Flow of Nows? That is HARD, God.

Please help me to Trust You with Transitions!

Tagged with: Being an Anhopper, Change, Dallas Tornados, transitions, trust, weather
Posted in adoring Easy, Transitions, Trusting God, Uncategorized

A Walk Along the Kaiwi Shoreline

Posted on April 5, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Standing on the Kaiwi shoreline looking up at Pele's Chair

Good Day, God!

And it was a Very Good Day! I set out this morning at 7:30 with my friend Pulelehua planning to walk down to the Kaiwi shore and then drive off for breakfast.

But, once we had walked to the shore, I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t care about eating! In fact, I wanted to spend the day there. Alas, I had made a commitment for a 10:30 meeting with several people. Otherwise I might have spent at least the morning there.

I have always loved the shoreline, God. To me it is the Meeting Place of Earth, Sky and Sea. It might be the negative ions released by the waves breaking against the lava rocks. And, perhaps, the very low number of people in sight had something to do with my desire to stay there.

looking at the back of Koko Crater and the third inlet

Or, maybe, God, it is one of Your Thin Places? The Celts felt that there were places where it was easier to sense Your Presence.

Hmm. When I go back, I will see if I might “notice” that. I wasn’t even thinking of that today. I just knew I wanted to be there. I wanted to keep on walking to the third inlet. Ah, Another Day!

Thank You, God, for friends who get me out walking!

Tagged with: Kaiwi Shoreline walk, Makapuu Head, Pele's Chair, Thin Places, walking with friends
Posted in friends, people as gifts, power and peace and gentleness, recovery time, Vantage Points

Falling into the “Sometimes Stupid” category

Posted on April 4, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

An obake anthurium

Good Morning, God!

After delighting in the beauty of unexpected bromeliads and wild grasses, it feels like it’s “too easy” to find beauty in a formal flower arrangement. Having people invest energy in arranging beautiful things ought, one would think, add to their beauty. Often it does. But, still, I rarely take photos of “arrangements.”

Perhaps, God, it is related to how our older daughter, Suzanne, doesn’t mind candid photos of herself — but hates all posed shots.

But, God, it wasn’t just this beautiful flower that caught my eye at church this morning. The large wooden cross draped with purple cloth also compelled my attention.

The Holy Week cross at Central Union Church

There it stands, God. Bespeaking Your Love for us — for all of us humans.

Actually, God, I am quite certain You love ALL of Your Creation. That seems to be Your Nature and besides, look at Your Command for us to be Stewards — Caregivers of Creation.

Good Friday is a reminder to me of our failures — failures as Caregivers — and all of our General Failures. A friend told me recently that he hated working with stupid people. I gave him a quizzical look and he asked why. I told him I was just wondering “where do you find the Other Kind?”

I didn’t go on to say that I had surely been “stupid” often enough. I figured I had said enough . . . maybe more than enough. But, as Paul said so well, “All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.”

People like me — raised as a good Episcopalian — don’t much care for the word Sin. But, I sure do identify with FALLING SHORT OF THE GLORY OF GOD! So, please God, help me to come to You — asking for help, asking for compassion for myself and all the rest of us sometimes stupid people.

Tagged with: Good Friday, Holy Week, sometimes stupid, Wooden Cross
Posted in Failing, Holy Wednesday, Holy Week, Humility or Needing Help!

Stopped by Beauty!

Posted on April 3, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

A bromeliad, I think -- BEAUTIFUL!

Good Day, God!

This afternoon I drove up our valley to see Dr. Fickes for a thermography exam. As I was walking toward her entrance I was stopped by this flower. Out came my camera so I could capture its glory. Amazing!

Beauty is important, God. Maybe it is even essential? What comes to mind is the Chinese proverb: When you have only two pennies left in the world, buy a loaf of bread with one, and a lily with the other.

That feels very wise. And I’ve been pondering why that might be. Perhaps it’s because beauty tugs me toward You? Beauty speaks to some inner part of me — reassuring me that both Beauty and Hope exist — and will continue to exist.

Beauty appears daily . . . in the daytime sky and in the starry night. The Heavens DO declare Your Glory, God!

Wild grass -- with light shining through it

And so do the ordinary things of life. I stopped this morning on my jog to take a photo of weeds . . . or wild grasses. Less obvious beauty, but it’s there, if we only look. Your Light can transform anything.

I suppose, God, this may be why some older people can radiate beauty . . . they are letting You shine through them.

Transparency . . . focused on others . . . hearts full of love . . . I have friends like that, God. Thank YOU!

Tagged with: beauty, bromeliad, hope, thermography, wild grass
Posted in beauty, hope, Hope as a gift from God, Light

Noticing — And Being Noticed

Posted on April 2, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

very small pink flowers — waiting to be noticed

Good Day, God!

I just happened to look down and see these very small pink flowers. I was leaving my mom’s and when I saw the little flowers I thought, “How many small “ordinary” things are there waiting to be noticed?” I’m quite sure there are far more than I see.

What do I notice, God? What are the thoughts that regularly run through my mind? Often they are Next Actions. Things like returning overdue library books, getting cash out of an ATM and gas for my car.

Today, while listening to Roy Baumeister’s book, Willpower, I heard him say that “raising the level of our thoughts” does increase our willpower. Raising my thought level sounds pretty abstract, God, but I think he means focusing on why I want to do something instead of how am I going to do it. It seems that a good “why” is motivating.

Baumeister went on to talk about how Eric Clapton and Mary Karr were both freed of their alcoholism through AA — Eric instantly as he overcame his pride and surrendered to You. Mary took a longer slower path. But, as they both said when asked about it — IT WORKS!

I’m smiling, God. It all seems so simple. You really do care about us. But, You know our hearts and wait to be wanted. I’m smiling, God, because suddenly I am seeing myself as one of these Very Small Flowers. Only, it is You who have paused — to notice us .

Being seen, being heard, being noticed. That fills my Heart. It answers my Whys.

Tagged with: being noticed, noticing, Roy Baumeister, Willpower
Posted in Affirmations, Being ENJOYED by God, Books, Perspective, seeing, small meaningful moments

A String Bass, Mellow Music and Respect

Posted on April 1, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Kaipo of the Mokulele Trio

Good Day, God!

Palm Sunday, complete with a donkey and Hosannahs filled our morning. Marvelous music, God! Children’s choirs and massed choirs and all of the congregation singing away.

Then this evening we went up to the Oahu Country Club for dinner as the guests of a dear — family, really — friend. And more music! The Mokulele Trio was so mellow. When they played at our table my ear was up close to the bass. I could feel — as well as hear — the vibrations of the strings. Real music, God. Real music.

It was quite a contrast from the amplified big band music of last night. I like big band music, God. But, when the volume is cranked way up it becomes painful!

Hmm. Peter tells us to always be ready to give an answer to those who ask about the hope we have within us. Then he says, “But do this with gentleness and respect, . . .” [I Peter 3:15]

Yes, God, the music I heard tonight spoke to me with “gentleness and respect.” Whereas the amplified music of Saturday night was neither gentle nor respectful. It bulldozed its way into my being!

Music or words — both are more easily received when they are “gentle and respectful.” And, You, God — You seem to speak in whispers. We have to really want to hear You. In fact, rereading the verse from I Peter, it looks as if we have to ask!

Oh my, I am so eager to share my thoughts on this and that that I don’t wait to be asked . . . I just look for an opening. Sigh. Ah, yes. Here is an “assignment” — to be so full of hope that we are asked about the reason for it.

Thank You, God, for the Hope You give!

Tagged with: Hawaiian music, I Peter 3:15, mellow music, Mokulele Trio, Palm Sunday, respect
Posted in hope, Music, respect

Time — How best to Dwell in it?

Posted on March 31, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Heliconia seen while shopping at the Farmers' Market

Good Day, God!

I enjoyed strolling around at the Farmers’ Market this morning. I had time to do that because I wasn’t driving home before going to my Retreat Meeting at Central Union Church. Not having time constraints felt lovely, God. Hmm. It was only looser time constraints — but that still felt good!

I’m thinking more about Time for several reasons. The first, and I have too smile at it, was “seeing” my inner (imaginary!) service dog sitting next to me with my shiny silver Timer in her mouth. Talk about a message from my Inner Self!

That same Timer is sitting next to me now, God, ticking away. I need it. It is easy for me to get lost in what I am doing and loose track of Time.

The Time Paradox by Philip Zimbardo

The second reason was that after the meeting, when I stopped at Barnes & Noble, I discovered The Time Paradox by Philip Zimbardo. I came home and took the Zimbardo Time Perspective Inventory (ZTPI).

The results sure surprised me, God! I think of myself as a Present Person — but my score on that was lower than 50%! And my future orientation was the only thing higher than 50% — the average score. Could it be that I am still “working”– not yet living as if I am fully retired?

Hmm. Self awareness comes so slowly, God. Of course, I will have to read the book — not just skim it — to get a real understanding of how my Time Perspectives matter.

One story that caught my attention was about a psychologist working with Post-traumatic stress sufferers. Their focus on their painful past was eating up their Present and affecting their Future. It helped them to take a Time Overview of their lives.

I’m pretty sure it would help me too, God.

Tagged with: living in the Past Present and Future, Philip Zimbardo, The Time Paradox, time constraints
Posted in Perspective, perspectives, time

A Marvelous Birthday!

Posted on March 30, 2012 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

Our daughter Patty, on the back of a CD of her poems set to music

Good Day, God!

I am so thankful! I mean, God, I think my Heart has been EXPANDED today — so that I feel just how fortunate I am. I am OVERFLOWING with gratitude and awe.

One fabulous “birthday gift” was given by my friend Pulelehua who came over to put my website “together.” (Click here to see it.) And just this evening I put up our late daughter Patty’s CD in the section of my website called Mango Days. Patty’s poems, journal entries and letters to her best friend were compiled into the book, Mango Days by Kit Smith — her dad and my husband.

Then two years ago a fine musician named Jim Funkhouser — through Kit’s Andover alumni connections — read the book and asked if he could set some of Patty’s poems to music. Wow, God! We were thrilled — and moved to tears when we heard Jim’s music.

So, God, being able to post information regarding Patty’s CD — which contains two Song Cycles, Dusk and Between Worlds — made it more real to me. And even more thankful to Jim Funkhouse, the gifted composer.

Even more than all of that, God, just laying my life out via a website gave me a chance to SEE and APPRECIATE it. For example, the only way I could “improve” life on my birthday was to include a 90-minute massage. Soooo, GOOD! Earlier, after coffee and chocolates at home with Kit, I met a friend to walk around Kapiolani Park and swim in the ocean like I do almost every Friday. It’s hard to improve on my non-birthday life!

Meanwhile our daughter Sandy and her son Mark are on their way from Arizona to Los Angeles to visit our daughter Suzanne. They will (I hope) send me a few photos and text messages. So, God, I have a family I adore — AND I get to live in Hawaii. THANK YOU!

Tagged with: Dusk and Between Worlds, gratitude, James Funkhouser composer, Mango Days, song cycles
Posted in appreciation, daughters, Families, gratitude, LOVE

The Blessings of Maintenance

Posted on March 29, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Maintenance workers emptying one of the sidewalk trash cans

Good Day, God!

Thank You for Maintenance Workers! I have been putting trash in these sidewalk trash cans for years. But I never thought about how they got emptied or who emptied them!

Hmm. Well, YES, God. It takes real people to do maintenance work. Trash doesn’t just disappear over time.

And my Inner Trash bins are not going to empty themselves, either, are they!

Dang! That’s my job. Just like making our bed and brushing my teeth. And, just like filing or tossing my papers — I don’t like doing it. The thing is, God, that I can see the papers piling up . . . I can see the stacks of magazines growing. My Inner Trash is mostly invisible.

Oh, oh. I think I just heard You say that I could ask You for Help in Finding it, and Feeling it. Sigh! Papers and magazines are EASY compared to my inner trash. Inner Trash hurts . . . smells . . . has a nasty buzz to it. I really don’t want to touch it.

But, You say, IT’S TOXIC! OK, God. I hear You.

I will go and Center right now. Back again and oooh . . . most of my trash has been “compacted” and seems to be made up of “Judgments” . . . Yikes! What’s worse is that I have taken my “compacted judgments” and built walls out of them. Yes, YES! I hear You. “Do not judge that you be not judged!” During my prayer time, God, You took one of my Judgments and transformed it into Love for the person. Oh, that is so much better for my soul — and my health.

Let me say with Job (42:2) “I know that You can do everything,
And that no purpose of Yours can be withheld from You.

I hope that includes your purposes with me. All Praise be to You, God!

Tagged with: cleaning up my heart, decompacting judgments, inner trash bins
Posted in A Spiritual Spring Cleaning, clean and tidy, LOVE, Maintenance, self care as maintenance

My Inner “Service Dog”

Posted on March 28, 2012 by a moment with god — 5 Comments

I traded in my Inner Mother Cat for an Inner Service Dog

Good Day, God!

What an amazing morning I had, God! You truly do love to surprise us with out-of-the-box experiences!

After my early morning Eldest Daughter Prayer Time, I drove up to Tantalus to see June, my Spiritual Director. She prefers calling herself a spiritual friend and it is true that she is gentle and nuanced, not at all directive.

I got to telling her about my Inner Mother Cat — that’s the one that has been really hard on me for “letting” our daughter Patty die. June suggested that maybe I didn’t need her inside me any longer?

What? I had to ask June to repeat that, God, because it was so unexpected. Did I have a choice? Really? June thought I did.

So, I closed my eyes and a mini series of inner images flowed through my mind: putting my Mother Cat in my lap and petting her; handing her to Jesus; being horrified as she put out her claws and made Jesus bleed; Jesus holding her and smiling at her and breathing on her.

My Mother Cat was going to be healed and comforted — things I had never been able to do for her. What a comforting feeling that was, God! And so freeing, too!

Then, and I forget exactly HOW it happened, but it seemed that You wanted to give me a Service Dog to replace my Mother Cat. Slowly the dog came into focus. It was an Irish Wolfhound. A white Irish Wolfhound. June said she didn’t think they were white. But, they are! Anyway, I am Very Thankful, God, because I know that I need a Service Dog (her name is Jacqueline) to help me take better care of myself.