Being Grateful as a Gift to Myself

Posted on November 27, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Good Morning, God!

I was just about to write some Thank You cards and letters when my eye was caught by an email titled “The Blessings of Gratitude.” It was an excerpt from the book All That Jesus Asks. I read the whole four pages excerpt.

I KNOW gratitude is GOOD FOR US! Still, it was good to read the quote from the book that “Studies show that gratitude is associated with “pro-social behaviors” and with improved emotional well-being.” It sounds so scientific as opposed to wishful thinking. I like that.

Gratitude, like Thanksgiving and Praise, helps us OPEN the door of our Heart — open to YOU, God. But, that door, while BIG, is often CLOSED. In fact, our schooling — teaching us to look for what’s WRONG — probably trains us not even to see that there IS a Door at the back of our Inner Garden.

a garden gate in Connemara, Ireland

Hmm. I’m looking at the gate and smiling, as I picture a truckload of manure coming in through that gate to fertilize the crops and flowers in the garden.

Ah, yes. MANY of YOUR BLESSINGS, God, do seem like having “manure” dumped on us. Manure is essential for the growth and good health of plants. But, we don’t WANT the old smelly and organic fertilizer dumped on us! We — well, me — I want EASY and PLEASANT . Sigh, I’m happy to be watered, but fertilized?

Ah, KNOWING THAT YOU USE EVERYTHING that comes into my life — really helps me Grit my Teeth and OPEN the Gate of Gratitude so I can be blessed — and grow. THANK YOU, GOD!

Posted in gratitude, growing toward up, Trusting God

A Door wide open — My Heart wide open?

Posted on November 26, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

A door -- wide-open -- in Dubrovnik

Good Morning, God!

I thought I would read Luke this morning and make a list of “commands” but I didn’t even get past Peterson’s introduction in the Message before I was stopped. He talks about our “clubs” informal or formal — all of which depend on exclusivity, keeping Others OUT. Then he points out that the “price” of exclusivity is “A REDUCTION of REALITY, a SHRINKAGE of LIFE.”

My immediate response was to cry out to You, God! “I don’t want my life shrunk! I want it EXPANDED.” That seemed like ENOUGH of an insight for one morning. But I read on: “. . . Religion has a long history of doing just that, of reducing the HUGE mysteries of God to the respectability of club rules, of shrinking the vast human community to a ‘membership.’ But with God there are no outsiders.” Oh, God! If we could only GRASP that truth — BE GRASPED BY IT!

Peterson goes on to talk about Luke as the only Gentile among the Jews — and how Luke shows how Jesus INCLUDES those “outside” — the women, the poor, the different. The page ends with Peterson saying that we “Now find the doors wide open, found and welcomed by God in Jesus.” Lovely! Your DOORS are WIDE OPEN, God.

But what I like even better, is how YOU come to the doors of Our Hearts and knock, asking if we will OPEN to You. Please, Come in, God. Not for a time in the parlor, but to stay in me. Perhaps, even to reign? Ah? You don’t stay if You aren’t reigning? Fair enough, God, fair enough.

Posted in an invitation to abundant life, doors and doorways, Ongoing Transformation

Thanksgiving — not just a Day, but means of Transportation

Posted on November 25, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

sunrise in a rear view mirrow

Good Morning, God!

It is Thanksgiving Day and all is quiet. Looking out my bedroom window, the clouds are white and puffy. I am thankful. Very thankful. It occurred to me — as I selected this particular photo — that mostly I am thankful while looking back — looking in my “rear view mirror.”

In the midst of a “good thing” I am mostly too busy enjoying it to be thankful. And, in the midst of an “adventure” I am too occupied getting through it to be thankful in it. So, God, I suspect that Thankfulness is often relegated to an Act of Reflection. Whereas, in truth, I think it is one of Your Directions for Living.

Your Psalms say: Enter into My Gates with Thanksgiving. Enter into My Courts with Praise. I used to think WITH meant something we took with us when we entered through Your Gates. Now I am more and more certain that it is HOW we enter Your Gates — approaching YOU more closely. It is sort of like Spiritual Transportation. Smile. A sort of “Beam me up, Scotty” move?

Gosh, God, that makes BEING THANKFUL really important! Just as a deep breath when we are stressed will help us relax — so a big inhalation of Thankfulness helps us “move” toward You. Hmm. If we could learn to exhale Praise, we could be right there IN YOUR COURTS.

Yes, God, exercising Thanksgiving and Praise would (will?) sure transform MY life! Please, God, help me practice! Help me take small, but frequent, steps during each day. THANKING YOU IN THE MIDST OF LIFE! PRAISING YOU FOR WHAT IS!!! Thank YOU, God. Thank You.

Posted in exercising, inner paths of the heart, learning, Praise, Prayer, thankfulness, Thanksgiving!

Thinking about The Future — and thankful we are still here!

Posted on November 24, 2010 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

a painting of a Russian planned nuclear-propulsion rocket

Good Morning, God!

So, last night I read that the Russians are planning a nuclear-propulsion rocket to use in space exploration — and will be designing a nuclear powered plant to be placed on the Moon or Mars. That’s not really a surprise. But, I also saw that the Canadians’ have a Space Agency! And they have just let a big contract for a new generation of Lunar Rovers. A Canadian Space Agency?

Meanwhile, we Americans are thinking maybe we will make one more shuttle run. I’m TORN, God, TORN! Part of me thinks: Is going into Space feeding the hungry? Another part thinks GET GOING America!

Here’s a DREAM, God! How about if we shipped all manufacturing to the MOON and kept the Earth CLEAN? Manufacturing done by Robots, of course. Hmm. I remember YEARS ago when I was at a party and talking about where to put nuclear waste. I joked that we should send it to the moon. And someone said, YES, WE ARE THINKING ABOUT THAT!

On our Planet, God, waste products are shared. Air pollution TRAVELS. Water pollution TRAVELS. I wonder if that would be true of waste materials in space? We already have a lot of old stuff orbiting around and around us. Could we leave waste on the moon without it eventually harming us?

Ah, now, God! I’m familiar with “unintended consequences” and aware that eager scientists plunge ahead. Actually, considering the Pandora’s BOXES we have opened in the last 70 years — I’m so thankful we are still here. IT’S YOUR HAND, GOD! YOUR HAND! Thank YOU!

Posted in Perspective, Possibilities, thankfulness

Tranquility, Rest and Healing

Posted on November 23, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

A sunset moment at Maunalua Bay

Good Morning, God!

A tranquil morning — a restful morning — and I realize that my body is very pleased. My mind had proposed a jog up the hill. But, My Body is quite clear, God, about continuing to lie here in bed chatting with You.

I’m pondering Time, God. Today’s photo was snapped at a red light or maybe while waiting for the left turn arrow. It was a very short moment of Time in which to “capture” an image that exudes tranquility. And that is very much how I feel this morning — tranquil, peaceful and at rest. Thank YOU!

Later on today, I shall re-engage with my surroundings, and tidy and bring order. But, for now, I am aware of my Body’s gentle tides doing their own tidying and reordering. And that is GOOD. Good that they are doing it. Good that I respect those unseen activities. Perhaps this is the essence of a Sabbath Rest, God? My Active Ego “giving up” what it views as ITS POSSESSIONS to an Unseen Other. This Part of Me (let it not be the Real Me) lives as if it is ALL MINE. MY TIME. MY MONEY.

Oh God! If tithing my money is hard — how much harder to hand over One Whole Day a week to REST from my busy-ness. After all, a tithe is just 10%. The COMMAND to keep the Sabbath is for me to HAND OVER ONE SEVENTH of my LIFE.

Hmmmm. The Sabbath WAS made FOR us! It IS a gift that will redeem and transform the other six days of the week. It is the pivot pole connecting with YOU on which we were designed to “spin.” So WHY can’t I KEEP IT?

INSUFFICIENT HUMILITY. Sigh, we are a stiff necked people. You LONG to heal us . . . but we are too busy . . . to receive.

Posted in healing, humility, living within limits, Peace, rest, sabbath rest, Trusting God

An Air plant — through a Rose Colored Camera

Posted on November 22, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

an air plant or Kalanchoe Pinnata

Good Morning, God!

Such an unexpected touch of color my camera gave to this humble air plant! But, I confess, God, I LIKE looking at the world through rose-colored glasses. I think COLOR is a wonderful idea! I hope you haven’t created any black and white worlds. I was born the year The Wizard of Oz came out and I can still remember my JOY when the black and white movie shifted into color — Oz Color!

So why not see through rose-colored glasses? Or, as I prefer to think of it — why not turn reality around and around until I can find a better way to grasp it? And, God, I DO want to GRASP it. I want to work toward a better world. I know how much I have — how very fortunate I am to have been born where and when I was. I take the last words of the pledge of allegiance — “for liberty and justice for ALL” to heart.

My World is set in the Context of YOU, God! And that makes all the difference. A couple of days ago I was reading a conversation with a Native American about his spiritual viewpoint. The Great Spirit and the importance of Gratitude sounded good. But, then he talked about having to give up any idea that The Great Spirit had any interest in helping individuals.

I don’t mean to anthropomorphize YOU, God. But, if I can care about individuals — how could You not care far more? I was shocked. It was like when I learned that the church theologians for many hundreds of years believed You didn’t feel. Apparently only women and “other lesser beings” felt.

Yuck! Now THAT is seeing the world through GREY glasses. Please, God, clean our glasses!

Posted in appreciation, being together in a compassionate presence, Colors, seeing, setting my life in context

Sharing Sorrows — Pulling up Leviathans

Posted on November 21, 2010 by a moment with god — 2 Comments

Light and Dark, Joy and Sorrow

Good Morning, God!

“Weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice.” That’s Romans 12:15. Only it puts rejoicing first. Such good words, God, such good words. Rejoicing is easy. Weeping is not. Yet, how much more important it is to weep together, than to rejoice.

I remember a story from one of Maya Angelou’s books. Her son has been in a car accident and survived — but she is stricken with The Fear and Grief at what might have been. A friend sends her off to visit a woman who is a friend of his. The woman looks at Maya and tells her to SIT DOWN. YOU NEED TO CRY and YOU NEED SOMEONE WITH YOU WHILE YOU CRY.

We do need to cry WITH others, God. I suppose it is like the difference between “thinking words” and “SPEAKING words.” Word and Tears that are heard and seen — have been acknowledged. We need that, God, we need that.

Ah, but sorrows are not always what they seem. Years ago I learned that they can live inside us — like Giant Sea Creatures — that may be pulled up out of the deep by a seemingly small hook. Before, I didn’t understand how it was that Maya would be SO upset, as her son HAD survived. But, just now I realize that his accident was only the HOOK that brought up that HUGE SORROW from her past. It was a creature too big and too scary to be “fished for” consciously.

This morning a friend called and asked for help in dealing with her sorrow. It was Kit who saw that THIS SORROW was “A Hook” bringing up A PAST — but STILL PRESENT DOWN DEEP — sorrow. It is good, God, for such leviathans to surface and speak with us.

Posted in healing, processing on deeper levels, Sorrows of the Deep

A Towering Cloud and More Healing Humility

Posted on November 20, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

A Towering Cloud over Koko Head

Good Morning, God!

What an amazing evening last night! On the way home from an afternoon errand I saw the moon in an almost cloudless sky. I called Kit to ask about having dinner outside at the Shack — looking at the Marina AND the moon rise. Kit said “Sure!”

Then, as he came back from Mom’s, he said, “There is the most amazing towering cloud out there!” It WAS amazing! And it just sort of stayed where it was over Koko Head. While we ate, it turned from peach and coral to shades of grey. Then it began to generate LIGHTENING! We saw FORKED lightening light up the cloud — over and over again!

It was Awesome, God, AWESOME! I know thunder and lightening are common on the mainland — but not on Oahu! It is good, God, to be reminded of the Power of Nature. Good to have our perspective shifted. Good to look UP from our busy-ness.

Looking up is one thing — relinquishing or abandoning our attachment to busy “purposeful” lives quite another. And, yes, God, I am back to the second half of Father Keating’s Welcoming Prayer:

I let go of my desire for power and control.
I let go of my desire for affection, esteem,
approval and pleasure.
I let go of my desire for survival and security.
I let go of my desire to change any situation,
condition, person or myself.

Hmmm. Let go of my desire to change or improve myself? I HOPE that doesn’t mean stay the same. I HOPE it means understanding all that is not My Job. My JOB? After ALL the “Letting Go” The last line is:

I open to the love and presence of God and God’s action within. Amen.

Posted in healing, Heavens declare the Glory of God, humility, Humility or Needing Help!, Perspective, setting my life in context

Interactions and Conversations and Welcoming Prayer

Posted on November 19, 2010 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

Human Dolphin Interaction

Good Morning, God!

Such a marvelously full week I’m having, God! Sunrises so astounding that we stopped our early morning walk yesterday and stared. Diana said, “We should just lie down on the grass and look up at the sky!” We should have. I wish we had.

Then after breakfast at the Kahala I caught this interaction between human and dolphin. I can’t say about the dolphin, but the woman looks like she is having a wonderful time. If she and the dolphin are not having a “conversation” they are at least interacting at a high level. We really don’t need words to interact, God. In fact, maybe sometimes words get in the way?

But interactions are not all joyful. Before the dolphin, I saw a stingray swimming around and around its too small pool and I grieved with it. I felt how it feels to be constrained, artificially limited, boxed in. I suspect, God, that schooling does that. Puts us in cognitive boxes. I feel the sorrow of it.

Before the stingray, during breakfast with a friend we heard about her four day retreat on Welcoming Prayer. I liked what I heard and read the prayer by Father Keating which starts with:

Welcome, welcome, welcome.
I welcome everything that comes to me today
because I know it’s for my healing.
I welcome all thoughts, feelings, emotions, persons,
situations, and conditions.

That feels good, God. It feels right. This past week has been filled with all sorts of thoughts and things. I welcome them for my Healing — knowing we are never FULLY well. Aah, But, God, The Prayer goes on doesn’t it. If we are to WELCOME we must also LET GO. But, let me ponder THAT PART, tomorrow.

Posted in inner paths of the heart, interactions, interspecies contact, living within limits

The High Cost of Storage — Physical Stuff and Emotional Stuff

Posted on November 18, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

one of thousands of Self-Storage companies

Good Morning, God,

When I was visiting Suz we talked about our Pasts. Both of us are more or less at Peace with them — Praise You, God. Acceptance comes slowly — well, at least for me, And I have realized that almost all of my really hard work of acceptance has been about me — my failures, my blindness, my shortcomings. Once I accepted myself, God, accepting and forgiving others has seemed far less difficult.

Still, I am certain that deep inside me I have STUFF IN STORAGE! Stuff I haven’t yet been able or willing to pull up and process. It is, so to speak, in a Self Storage Locker. And, I fear, I am paying RENT on it. It does take ENERGY, GOD, to keep Stuff from Consciousness. Sigh. I became aware of this when I felt YOU were making me tell someone that he needed ALL his energy to HEAL. He could no longer afford to “pay rent” on his past. The rent money had to go toward his healing. And, for him that meant a purging of the physical stuff AND the emotional stuff.

I guess that is the very essence of repentance and forgiveness — of our selves and others — that we no longer have to “pay rent” on STORING STUFF. Of course, FINDING that stuff isn’t easy as we rarely have the Stuff labeled as RESENTMENT and GUILT. We are so clever and creative in renaming things we can’t let go of. Noble causes –quests to bring the guilty to justice. Please help me with that FINDING, God. Please help me uncover and process the hidden storage units.

Because keeping the Past at bay — drains me of energy for the Present — energy with which to construct my future.

Posted in confession, Forgiving, healing, loving myself