Thinking about The Future — and thankful we are still here!

Posted on November 24, 2010 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

a painting of a Russian planned nuclear-propulsion rocket

Good Morning, God!

So, last night I read that the Russians are planning a nuclear-propulsion rocket to use in space exploration — and will be designing a nuclear powered plant to be placed on the Moon or Mars. That’s not really a surprise. But, I also saw that the Canadians’ have a Space Agency! And they have just let a big contract for a new generation of Lunar Rovers. A Canadian Space Agency?

Meanwhile, we Americans are thinking maybe we will make one more shuttle run. I’m TORN, God, TORN! Part of me thinks: Is going into Space feeding the hungry? Another part thinks GET GOING America!

Here’s a DREAM, God! How about if we shipped all manufacturing to the MOON and kept the Earth CLEAN? Manufacturing done by Robots, of course. Hmm. I remember YEARS ago when I was at a party and talking about where to put nuclear waste. I joked that we should send it to the moon. And someone said, YES, WE ARE THINKING ABOUT THAT!

On our Planet, God, waste products are shared. Air pollution TRAVELS. Water pollution TRAVELS. I wonder if that would be true of waste materials in space? We already have a lot of old stuff orbiting around and around us. Could we leave waste on the moon without it eventually harming us?

Ah, now, God! I’m familiar with “unintended consequences” and aware that eager scientists plunge ahead. Actually, considering the Pandora’s BOXES we have opened in the last 70 years — I’m so thankful we are still here. IT’S YOUR HAND, GOD! YOUR HAND! Thank YOU!

Posted in Perspective, Possibilities, thankfulness

Tranquility, Rest and Healing

Posted on November 23, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

A sunset moment at Maunalua Bay

Good Morning, God!

A tranquil morning — a restful morning — and I realize that my body is very pleased. My mind had proposed a jog up the hill. But, My Body is quite clear, God, about continuing to lie here in bed chatting with You.

I’m pondering Time, God. Today’s photo was snapped at a red light or maybe while waiting for the left turn arrow. It was a very short moment of Time in which to “capture” an image that exudes tranquility. And that is very much how I feel this morning — tranquil, peaceful and at rest. Thank YOU!

Later on today, I shall re-engage with my surroundings, and tidy and bring order. But, for now, I am aware of my Body’s gentle tides doing their own tidying and reordering. And that is GOOD. Good that they are doing it. Good that I respect those unseen activities. Perhaps this is the essence of a Sabbath Rest, God? My Active Ego “giving up” what it views as ITS POSSESSIONS to an Unseen Other. This Part of Me (let it not be the Real Me) lives as if it is ALL MINE. MY TIME. MY MONEY.

Oh God! If tithing my money is hard — how much harder to hand over One Whole Day a week to REST from my busy-ness. After all, a tithe is just 10%. The COMMAND to keep the Sabbath is for me to HAND OVER ONE SEVENTH of my LIFE.

Hmmmm. The Sabbath WAS made FOR us! It IS a gift that will redeem and transform the other six days of the week. It is the pivot pole connecting with YOU on which we were designed to “spin.” So WHY can’t I KEEP IT?

INSUFFICIENT HUMILITY. Sigh, we are a stiff necked people. You LONG to heal us . . . but we are too busy . . . to receive.

Posted in healing, humility, living within limits, Peace, rest, sabbath rest, Trusting God

An Air plant — through a Rose Colored Camera

Posted on November 22, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

an air plant or Kalanchoe Pinnata

Good Morning, God!

Such an unexpected touch of color my camera gave to this humble air plant! But, I confess, God, I LIKE looking at the world through rose-colored glasses. I think COLOR is a wonderful idea! I hope you haven’t created any black and white worlds. I was born the year The Wizard of Oz came out and I can still remember my JOY when the black and white movie shifted into color — Oz Color!

So why not see through rose-colored glasses? Or, as I prefer to think of it — why not turn reality around and around until I can find a better way to grasp it? And, God, I DO want to GRASP it. I want to work toward a better world. I know how much I have — how very fortunate I am to have been born where and when I was. I take the last words of the pledge of allegiance — “for liberty and justice for ALL” to heart.

My World is set in the Context of YOU, God! And that makes all the difference. A couple of days ago I was reading a conversation with a Native American about his spiritual viewpoint. The Great Spirit and the importance of Gratitude sounded good. But, then he talked about having to give up any idea that The Great Spirit had any interest in helping individuals.

I don’t mean to anthropomorphize YOU, God. But, if I can care about individuals — how could You not care far more? I was shocked. It was like when I learned that the church theologians for many hundreds of years believed You didn’t feel. Apparently only women and “other lesser beings” felt.

Yuck! Now THAT is seeing the world through GREY glasses. Please, God, clean our glasses!

Posted in appreciation, being together in a compassionate presence, Colors, seeing, setting my life in context

Sharing Sorrows — Pulling up Leviathans

Posted on November 21, 2010 by a moment with god — 2 Comments

Light and Dark, Joy and Sorrow

Good Morning, God!

“Weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice.” That’s Romans 12:15. Only it puts rejoicing first. Such good words, God, such good words. Rejoicing is easy. Weeping is not. Yet, how much more important it is to weep together, than to rejoice.

I remember a story from one of Maya Angelou’s books. Her son has been in a car accident and survived — but she is stricken with The Fear and Grief at what might have been. A friend sends her off to visit a woman who is a friend of his. The woman looks at Maya and tells her to SIT DOWN. YOU NEED TO CRY and YOU NEED SOMEONE WITH YOU WHILE YOU CRY.

We do need to cry WITH others, God. I suppose it is like the difference between “thinking words” and “SPEAKING words.” Word and Tears that are heard and seen — have been acknowledged. We need that, God, we need that.

Ah, but sorrows are not always what they seem. Years ago I learned that they can live inside us — like Giant Sea Creatures — that may be pulled up out of the deep by a seemingly small hook. Before, I didn’t understand how it was that Maya would be SO upset, as her son HAD survived. But, just now I realize that his accident was only the HOOK that brought up that HUGE SORROW from her past. It was a creature too big and too scary to be “fished for” consciously.

This morning a friend called and asked for help in dealing with her sorrow. It was Kit who saw that THIS SORROW was “A Hook” bringing up A PAST — but STILL PRESENT DOWN DEEP — sorrow. It is good, God, for such leviathans to surface and speak with us.

Posted in healing, processing on deeper levels, Sorrows of the Deep

A Towering Cloud and More Healing Humility

Posted on November 20, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

A Towering Cloud over Koko Head

Good Morning, God!

What an amazing evening last night! On the way home from an afternoon errand I saw the moon in an almost cloudless sky. I called Kit to ask about having dinner outside at the Shack — looking at the Marina AND the moon rise. Kit said “Sure!”

Then, as he came back from Mom’s, he said, “There is the most amazing towering cloud out there!” It WAS amazing! And it just sort of stayed where it was over Koko Head. While we ate, it turned from peach and coral to shades of grey. Then it began to generate LIGHTENING! We saw FORKED lightening light up the cloud — over and over again!

It was Awesome, God, AWESOME! I know thunder and lightening are common on the mainland — but not on Oahu! It is good, God, to be reminded of the Power of Nature. Good to have our perspective shifted. Good to look UP from our busy-ness.

Looking up is one thing — relinquishing or abandoning our attachment to busy “purposeful” lives quite another. And, yes, God, I am back to the second half of Father Keating’s Welcoming Prayer:

I let go of my desire for power and control.
I let go of my desire for affection, esteem,
approval and pleasure.
I let go of my desire for survival and security.
I let go of my desire to change any situation,
condition, person or myself.

Hmmm. Let go of my desire to change or improve myself? I HOPE that doesn’t mean stay the same. I HOPE it means understanding all that is not My Job. My JOB? After ALL the “Letting Go” The last line is:

I open to the love and presence of God and God’s action within. Amen.

Posted in healing, Heavens declare the Glory of God, humility, Humility or Needing Help!, Perspective, setting my life in context

Interactions and Conversations and Welcoming Prayer

Posted on November 19, 2010 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

Human Dolphin Interaction

Good Morning, God!

Such a marvelously full week I’m having, God! Sunrises so astounding that we stopped our early morning walk yesterday and stared. Diana said, “We should just lie down on the grass and look up at the sky!” We should have. I wish we had.

Then after breakfast at the Kahala I caught this interaction between human and dolphin. I can’t say about the dolphin, but the woman looks like she is having a wonderful time. If she and the dolphin are not having a “conversation” they are at least interacting at a high level. We really don’t need words to interact, God. In fact, maybe sometimes words get in the way?

But interactions are not all joyful. Before the dolphin, I saw a stingray swimming around and around its too small pool and I grieved with it. I felt how it feels to be constrained, artificially limited, boxed in. I suspect, God, that schooling does that. Puts us in cognitive boxes. I feel the sorrow of it.

Before the stingray, during breakfast with a friend we heard about her four day retreat on Welcoming Prayer. I liked what I heard and read the prayer by Father Keating which starts with:

Welcome, welcome, welcome.
I welcome everything that comes to me today
because I know it’s for my healing.
I welcome all thoughts, feelings, emotions, persons,
situations, and conditions.

That feels good, God. It feels right. This past week has been filled with all sorts of thoughts and things. I welcome them for my Healing — knowing we are never FULLY well. Aah, But, God, The Prayer goes on doesn’t it. If we are to WELCOME we must also LET GO. But, let me ponder THAT PART, tomorrow.

Posted in inner paths of the heart, interactions, interspecies contact, living within limits

The High Cost of Storage — Physical Stuff and Emotional Stuff

Posted on November 18, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

one of thousands of Self-Storage companies

Good Morning, God,

When I was visiting Suz we talked about our Pasts. Both of us are more or less at Peace with them — Praise You, God. Acceptance comes slowly — well, at least for me, And I have realized that almost all of my really hard work of acceptance has been about me — my failures, my blindness, my shortcomings. Once I accepted myself, God, accepting and forgiving others has seemed far less difficult.

Still, I am certain that deep inside me I have STUFF IN STORAGE! Stuff I haven’t yet been able or willing to pull up and process. It is, so to speak, in a Self Storage Locker. And, I fear, I am paying RENT on it. It does take ENERGY, GOD, to keep Stuff from Consciousness. Sigh. I became aware of this when I felt YOU were making me tell someone that he needed ALL his energy to HEAL. He could no longer afford to “pay rent” on his past. The rent money had to go toward his healing. And, for him that meant a purging of the physical stuff AND the emotional stuff.

I guess that is the very essence of repentance and forgiveness — of our selves and others — that we no longer have to “pay rent” on STORING STUFF. Of course, FINDING that stuff isn’t easy as we rarely have the Stuff labeled as RESENTMENT and GUILT. We are so clever and creative in renaming things we can’t let go of. Noble causes –quests to bring the guilty to justice. Please help me with that FINDING, God. Please help me uncover and process the hidden storage units.

Because keeping the Past at bay — drains me of energy for the Present — energy with which to construct my future.

Posted in confession, Forgiving, healing, loving myself

Being Heard into Speaking Our “Sorrows”

Posted on November 17, 2010 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

early morning sunlight over Koko Head

Good Morning, God!

Yesterday morning I was out early and got this photo. The sight was a JOY and SHARING IT doubles the joy. There is an old saying: Joy shared is joy doubled; sorrow shared is sorrow halved. Perhaps, sorrow isn’t halved, but it is lessened.

A few days ago I heard a good friend as she shared about her old and very sick dog. It wasn’t so much that I heard — but that being heard helped her to speak her sorrow. Speaking our sorrow. Gosh, God, it seems to me doing that, both speaking and hearing, is a Sacred Act. Speaking from our Deep Heart is healing.

Sigh, wouldn’t it be wonderful, God, if we could “sacramentalize” that — or at least name it and appreciate it? I’m good at grumbling — occasionally sniveling — but I am not sure that I have ever Spoken My Sorrows. Hmmm. I am sitting here — realizing for the first time — that I am sort of ashamed or embarrassed to talk about deeper feelings.

Aah, this is An Open Doorway for me, isn’t it God! I feel that You are calling me to HONOR all my feelings. They need to be Named and Heard. That is MY job! And I CAN DO IT!

I would never disrespect another person who shared her grief and sorrows! So, then, I can go and sit in Your Compassionate Presence and dare to call up suppressed emotions and honor them by listening. Hmm. I will REALLY need Your Help, God! This is another LEAP into HUMILITY! And, yes, I am imagining a SPLAT at the bottom. I’m smiling. I’m pretty sure You’re saying that You will scrape me up so I can leap again.

Posted in being heard into speaking, being together in a compassionate presence, courage, hearing myself, humility, Humility or Needing Help!

Fertility or Longevity — The Body Knows

Posted on November 16, 2010 by a moment with god — 2 Comments

A Wild Soay Lamb on a remote Scottish Island

Good Morning, God!

Imagine studying wild sheep on the remote island of Hirta 100 miles to the west of Scotland! Apparently, there are “families” of sheep that live longer, survive harsh winters better, and have more antibodies. But they have fewer lambs annually. Other families have more lambs per season but have fewer antibodies and don’t live as long.

Fertility or Longevity? The researchers seemed to be expecting those results. I tell You, God, any mother could have predicted that! It takes a lot out of our “bank” to build a baby. Now days we don’t think much about that because we have a choice — or choices. 22 children? I love children, BUT, 22? Of course, those women were eating all organic food. Still, my mind boggles at the shear investment of Time and Energy, not to mention Nutritional Supplies.

It is hard to imaging wild sheep having “choices.” I guess the long-lived female’s body must decide. Just one lamb this year, not two! Our bodies decide things for us too, don’t they God! We get sick or even fall and break something to get a little rest or time off. It is like our Bodies are Smarter than we are. We keep on until we DROP — that being our bodies way of pulling the plug on our Egos or Minds.

Hmmm. You would think, God, that my Mind might give my Body more RESPECT! Ah, but that would involve HUMILITY wouldn’t it! Humility AGAIN? Do I detect a theme, God?

I am lying here in bed pondering what respecting my Body might involve. Time and Attention! So, please, God, help me STILL my Mind — and listen to You . . . and my Body. Thank You. Thank You, God.

Posted in Centering Prayer, compassion to care for myself

The Ashes and Fruit of Humility

Posted on November 15, 2010 by a moment with god — 2 Comments

An "AFTER" Photo of My Office

Good Morning, God!

I confess, I didn’t exactly keep the Sabbath yesterday. But, I felt I HAD to ASK for HELP. I was overwhelmed! Usually I can wait and do it Monday. But Monday is booked. And the volume of “stuff” needing my attention made me realize that I needed help to get my office under control — before I “drowned” in chaos and confusion.

It is taking me a long time, God, to accept my Limits! Yes, and even longer to be willing to live WITHIN my limits! Hmmm. You’re Right, God, I am not THAT far along.

It’s so funny, God. Humility tastes like ASHES in my mouth, but it bears the sweetest fruit!

Anyway, yesterday, it was totally clear that the BEST kind of “rest” would be to “play” with organizing my office. My promise to myself was “YOU are ONLY going to be helping YOURSELF — no work for anyone else! That is another admission of My Limits, and Needs — an act of Humility. Because helping OTHERS makes me feel needed and useful. But understanding that first I had to help myself — was to acknowledge myself as “needy.” DUH! I mean, that should be SO OBVIOUS, God! But reality is warped by my protective filters. Sigh.

Another confession, God, I have my friend and former work colleague, Ann, here to help me. Having her help is just like getting a second brain! I know I could not have done it without her help!

I am the product (victim?) of my generation’s educational model. If you “needed” help you had “failed.” And if you GOT help from someone else — it was called CHEATING! No wonder it is so HARD for me to ask for help! Thank goodness, the educational model is changing. Just the other day a friend was saying how in her graduate classes all students work in cohorts — not alone! Now, God, please help ME keep on changing and growing toward humilty!

Posted in asking for help for myself, being a Slow Learner, humility, Humility or Needing Help!, living within limits