Stepping BACK to 1958 and Hearing Pearl Buck

Posted on November 21, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Pearl Buck looking like she did in her 1958 interview

Good Morning, God!

1958 is a long time ago! Still, when I watched this interview that Mike Wallace did with Pearl Buck in 1958, I was astounded by what had changed and what had not changed.

(But first, my jaw dropped as Mike Wallace opened the show smoking a cigarette and then gave a commercial for Parliament cigarettes! YIKES!)

What hadn’t changed was a fairly basic male failure to understand women. Mike Wallace kept trying to push Pearl Buck into either/or positions. He wanted to label her a feminist when clearly she was a humanist. She wanted the best for her fellow human beings, both men and women.

She observed that Americans, men and women, suffered from loneliness. The freedom we cherish had resulted in the breakdown of many of the social support bulwarks that existed in Asia or Europe — traditions that surround us with social connections. This was certainly true for me in the early years of our marriage. Kit went off to work and I stayed home. The lack of ongoing stimulating daily social contact was painful!

Mike Wallace wanted her to choose — home or work. She allowed as how staying home when the children are young was preferable. But she said that doing both was a matter of “organization” and “concentrating on essentials.”

Speaking of “essentials,” she observed that American women seemed to measure their men and children in terms of “success” while Asian women seemed more content to enjoy their men and family as individuals. Hmmm. That makes me think of parents pushing their children toward high status colleges.

So, God, perhaps we could make better use our Freedom? Maybe, even, redefine “success?” As for me, I want to do a better job of “concentrating on essentials” — like quality time with Loved Ones.

Tagged with: loneliness, men and women, Pearl Buck speaking in 1958, Pearl Buck's wider vision
Posted in gender universes, social support networks, the difficulty of doing Both And

Education being turned Right Side Up

Posted on November 20, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Salman Khan of the Khan Academy

Good Morning, God!

Last Friday night Kit and I went to hear Dr. Philip Pizzo, dean of the Stanford Medical School. Dean Pizzo is super bright and super articulate — information just flowed out of him.

But when Dr. Pizzo talked about the Khan Academy he really got my attention. It seems that Salman Khan started out making a few 10 minute videos to help his cousins learn math. In the videos you hear Khan’s voice and you see his writing on the chalk board. Very simple but surprisingly effective. Now the Khan Academy has 2,700+ teaching videos.

Our grandson Mark had complained to me about his physics textbook and teacher so I thought I’d share Khan Academy with him.

But, first, I wanted to learn more about it. So I watched Khan give a TED talk. Watching it, I realized Khan represents a movement turning Education RIGHT SIDE UP! There are high schools that have dumped their standard math curriculum. No textbooks. No lectures. The students watch the videos on their own and do the “exercises” in class. The teacher then answers questions and helps individual students. Meanwhile, the computer charts and graphs the students so the teacher can see where they are. Time is spent teaching — not lecturing and grading.

This isn’t about Grades — this is about Mastery! Students don’t move on until they have answered correctly 10 test questions in a row! Since learning is incremental, this makes such good sense! Miss a step and 3 or 4 steps later, nothing makes sense.

Ah, but, God! The very BEST thing is that students who start out slower than others often catch up and end up even better than the “fast” students! I really like that!

Gosh, God. We need this for the “soft sciences” — like how to get along with each other.

Tagged with: a moment with God, Khan Academy, learning available for everyone, Mastery not grades
Posted in hope, learning, small meaningful moments

Aloha Ke Akua — God is Love

Posted on November 19, 2011 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

The left section of Aloha Ke Akua by David Behlke

Good Morning, God!

Stained glass makes me think of You, God. Maybe it’s all the stained glass window in the Episcopal churches of my childhood? Or maybe it is just that LIGHT puts me in mind of You?

So, what could be more wonderful than this huge stained glass mural entitled Aloha Ke Akua — God is Love. This creation — plus its other half — is on the top floor of 15 Craigside Retirement Residence. It is glorious God! I want to go back and photography it again . . . panel by panel. And let Your Light shine through it and on to me.

Now that I am back in the Creative World . . . even if it is in the shallow end . . . I find that my appreciation of the creative process has quintupled! First comes the opening of the senses to possibilities and then there is the working and reworking of the initial vision. So many layers, God, so many layers!

In my small world of Found Art, I love it that someone else has hammered the metal — textured it and even punched holes in it. That “scrap” of metal comes with layers already done for me. The much younger students in our class are busy turning out perfect objects. No scratches, mars or marks — shiny and flawless. I, meanwhile, am hunting in the scrap bin for hammered, dented and discolored pieces. Pieces with character.

The concept of layering, or maybe the appreciation of layers, seems to carry over into Life, God.

The longer we know someone — the more we have shared together — the more layers there are to our friendship. And, God, if this is true for friends — how much more for families.

I’m smiling, God. I’m hoping, You too, like working with the “hammered and dented.”

Tagged with: Aloha Ke Akua by David Behlke, stained glass, the layers of life
Posted in Creating, Diversity, friends, gratitude

Letting Life Unfold

Posted on November 18, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Me, sitting in the Tree's Lap

Good Morning, God!

Yesterday I was sitting in the backyard of my Spiritual Director (note: she prefers Spiritual Companion) and talking about my mind being like a jumble of “pickup sticks.” That was the topic of our meeting last week.

I told her that the “sticks” have gotten a whole lot bigger — but much less distressing. Now they are sort of like the branches of a tree. Then I remembered how I loved sitting up in my grandfather’s avocado tree when I was a child. That’s a very positive memory, God.

One thing led to another and the next thing I knew I was sitting in her lichee tree. It is much older and bigger — as am I — and I missed being surrounded by big green avocado leaves. Still, it took me back to my childhood. And I felt as if I were sitting in the tree’s lap.

I’m pretty sure, God, that You are calling me to sit in Your Lap. But, just as when I was very small, I want to run around doing things. Not sitting. Not soaking up Comfort and Love. I am obviously NOT a Natural Lap Sitter. I guess I fall in the category of Remedial Lap Sitter. Which would be funny — it is funny — if it weren’t also sad.

But, back to the unfolding. I have been playing solitaire of late, dimly sensing that the random situations and patterns have something to teach me about life. Yesterday afternoon it felt as if I GOT IT! I found myself playing as Observer! I relaxed and watched the game unfold. I released striving and “winning” and entered into flowing. I was still “playing” but I had let go of “outcomes.”

Now, God, please help me. I really want to transfer that attitude to the Game of Living.

Tagged with: being a participating observer, letting go of outcomes, relaxing and unfolding
Posted in being a Slow Learner, Expand my Heart, Perspective, Play

A SURGE of HOPE

Posted on November 17, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Bird of Paradise in my valley

Good Morning, God!

On a recent jog around our neighborhood, I came across a Bird of Paradise bush. I was pretty ratty, God. But, I found one beautiful bloom and took its picture. One bloom affects us. We can SEE it. But more than three? They seem to disappear.

Somehow this reminds me of the “truth” that when One Child is harmed, everyone rallies. But, let that number grow so that many thousands or millions of children are hungry or abused or crippled — then we shrug it off as too big to fix and too hard to focus on.

I had, I confess, accepted that as just the way things are. But, recently I saw a TED talk that gave me hope! Actually, just the fact that there ARE TED talks gives me a lot of hope, God!

This one was done by Bruce Aylward, who is head of the World Health Organization. He was talking about how close we are to eradicating polio — and how important it is to wipe it out, not just contain it. That’s because viruses like polio can morph and then, with global travel, emerge in ten or twenty countries in just weeks. And, unlike smallpox, you can’t tell who is a polio carrier.

But the good news is that there is a Worldwide Web of Volunteers, who have just about finished the job of vaccinating at risk children in the furthest reaches of our planet. Volunteers who are going into slums and jungles and war zones. These volunteers are primarily from Rotary Clubs around the world. They are extremely well organized and they are working together with governments and other agencies to help others.

Watching the video I wondered: What might they work on once Polio IS eradicated? I felt a SURGE of HOPE, God, when that idea came. Please, God. Help us continue to work together!

Tagged with: a worldwide web of volunteers, Bruce Aylward's TED Talk, ending polio, Rotary International, volunteers doing good
Posted in connections, health, hope

For Real: Women ARE Better Listeners

Posted on November 16, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Michael Gurian: author of Leadership and the Sexes

Good Morning, God!

I admit it, God, I laughed gleefully when I saw photos of the Male Brains at rest. Worse, yet, I called my beloved husband in to look! The Male Brain at rest is basically OFF. I mean, the brain stem was working to support breathing and digestion. But, that was pretty much ALL that was going on.

Of course, I wouldn’t have laughed except that Female Brains at rest look fairly busy. Also, it turns out that men only use half their brain when listening. Only the left side lights up. Females use both halves for listening. That really does explain a lot, God!

Leadership and the Sexes

Sigh, You made us very different, God. No doubt so that both genders would have to work at understanding the other. Differences + Love do combine to work together to expand our Hearts.

The photos of brain scans were shown in a talk at Google given by Michael Gurian. I would never have heard of him, God, except that Punahou invited him out to talk to teachers and parents about the brain differences between boys and girls. Gurian has two daughters and he wants to do what he can to help schools and businesses make the best use of women’s gifts.

He is doing his part to get the word out. The science is clear and is consistent in brains all around the world. Gurian has consultants that give presentations to businesses and educational institutions. Once people understand they begin to alter their behaviors.

Here are my favorite points, God. 1) Men need lessons in listening. 2) Women need to be more concise and clearly ask for what they want.

Tagged with: Leadership and the Sexes, male female brain differences, Michael Gurian, The Male Brain at Rest
Posted in Communication, Diversity, gender universes

Playing Games and Designing “Games”

Posted on November 15, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Queen Katrina playing "Brave Cat"

Good Morning, God!

Yesterday I was at my Mom’s — playing cards with her. In order to get more fresh air into her apartment I turn off her A/C and open her sliding door and the door to the hall. This produces a nice air flow. It also allows my Mom’s Cat to venture out.

While we are playing cards and scrabble, my Mom’s cat plays “Brave Cat.”

She ventures out the door and sits there in the hall. Not too far into the hall. And she often looks back to check and make sure we are still there. If people down the hall make a noise or open their door she dashes back inside.

She’s a “scaredy cat” but she love playing “Brave Cat.”

Ah, God! Don’t we all love playing! Sometimes we even play “Brave.” What is that line from the King and I? “I whistle a happy tune and no one ever knows I’m afraid!” [Click here to hear the song.] Asking preschoolers to “pretend” to be guards help them stand up straight and tall. Pretending and playing are basic elements of learning and growing.

Right now, I am pretending to be a guard at Buckingham Palace. I am sitting up straight in my chair — instead of slouching. And, much to my surprise, pretending does make it easier! Roy Baumeister, in his book Willpower, says that doing even little things like sitting up nice and straight strengthens our Willpower.

But, to make a “game” of good posture requires a bit of thought. [I’m reading Game Frame and that may help.] I do know I’ll have to observe myself and figure out how to “keep score.” Please help me remember, God, that You designed us not just to be Game Players, but also to be Game Designers.

Tagged with: Game Designers, Game Frame by Aaron Dignan, Game players, Roy Baumeister, Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength
Posted in courage, Fun, Play, Uncategorized

Seeing Clearly — Seeing Beyond Symptoms

Posted on November 14, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

street lights, tail lights and the moon

Good Morning, God!

Coming home last night I had my eyes on the just-past-full moon, as well as the traffic. This photo was set up during a red light — snapped as the light turned green.

The camera didn’t record that big a difference between the light of the moon and the street lights. But, my eyes had no trouble telling which one was brighter and more eye catching.

Being busy can feel like a life filled with headlights and taillights and street lights — but no moon, no sun, no stars. It is the Tyranny of the Urgent, isn’t it, God. Or maybe, the Difficulties of Distraction? There is such a reductionist mindset in today’s world, that the parts and pieces dominate our mind’s eye.

Dr. Mark Hyman put his finger on this when he said: It’s more important to understand the imbalances in your body’s basic systems and restore balance, rather than name the disease and match the pill to the ill. But, God, like the moon on a cloudy night — balance is hard to see and a whole lot harder to understand. I suppose it is the difference between photographing the moon and predicting lunar eclipses.

The Whole IS more than the sum of its parts, God. And now that understanding is showing up in ideas like DIABESITY — a continuum of disease from insulin sensitivity on to full-blown diabetes. Dr. Hyman goes on to say that diabesity “affects 1 in 2 Americans and is the leading cause of most chronic disease in this country including type 2 diabetes, heart disease, stroke, dementia, and cancer, not to mention its leading role in weight gain and obesity.”

Alas, the treatment — taking charge of our food selection, our activity level and our attitudes — isn’t nearly as simple as taking a pill. But, I’m grateful, God, that awareness is a big first step.

Tagged with: continuums of disease, diabesity, Dr. Mark Hyman, health, taking charge of our food
Posted in a matter of scale, health, seeing, web of life

Marriage: Pushing and Pulling Us Toward Growth

Posted on November 13, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Pastor Tim Keller

Good Morning, God!

I love this man’s voice, God! He sounds kind — compassionate and intelligent — which is a great combination for a pastor. Well, for anyone. I’ve heard some of his sermons on podcasts and enjoyed them.

Then a dear friend sent me a link to an interview that he and his wife did about their newly released book, The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God.

The Meaning of Marriage by Tim and Kathy Keller

What a delightful couple, God. I watched the entire video and enjoyed watching them react and interact with each other as the interview went on. Respect and appreciation are excellent buttresses for LOVE.

Kit and I are blessed, God. We were born into a generation that took commitment for granted. It was a given. And it was “role modeled” for us. My mother attended her grandparents’ Golden Wedding Anniversary, her parents’ Golden Wedding Anniversary, her own Golden Wedding Anniversary and Kit’s and my Golden Wedding Anniversary. That’s four straight generations.

Marriage — like life — isn’t supposed to be easy. At one point in the interview where Kathy “corrects” Tim, he turns to the interviewer and says, “Like iron sharpens iron . . .” How true! Husbands and wives DO sharpen each other. There are qualities in each of us that we need to learn to appreciate — and other qualities that we need to challenge and confront. The difficulty is figuring out which is which!

Gender differences, cultural differences, and individual differences all conspire to challenge us and push and pull us toward growth. Thank You, God, for adding the Pleasure Glue that makes marriage a joy and a delight — as well as a challenge.

Tagged with: appreciation and love, four generations of Golden Wedding Anniversaries, respect, The Meaning of Marriage, the pleasure bond, Tim and Kathy Keller
Posted in connecting, connections, JOY, living within limits, LOVE, people as gifts, respect

On Feeling Like a Pile of Pick-up Sticks

Posted on November 12, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

: Rainbows as Signs

Good Morning, God!

After hearing myself say something to the effect that I felt like pile of “pick-up-sticks” it came to me that I needed to do something about it.

So, I called a old friend who is a Spiritual Director and set off to see her. This photo of a rainbow was taken just before I went in to see her.

It feels good, God, to be seeking help.

Yesterday, I got additional help on my “pile” from the book Willpower. It seems there is something called the Zeigarnik Effect named after the Russian psychologist Bluma Zeigarnik who discovered it in 1927. Things that have not been completed or “done” keep popping up in our mind. They “nag” at us or at least “remind” us that the decision or action is still pending.

After coming home from my three weeks on the road visiting our daughters and grandson sitting I found myself “free.” Nothing needed to be done right away. There really wasn’t anything urgent in my life. No “urgent” stuff to keep the countless undone or unfinished tasks and projects in my life pushed to the back of my mind.

Pick-Up-Sticks -- color coded, yet!

With that pressure gone, God, I’m pretty sure all the unfinished stuff in my life flowed out and over and flooded me. Truly, a big pile of pick-up sticks! The book Willpower discusses David Allen’s Getting Things Done system. The author and researcher, Roy F. Baumeister, says that when Things Still Not Done pop-up into our minds (the Zeigarnik Effect) we don’t have to do them. We just have to make a plan on how and when we will do them. That’s Allen’s GTD program. Even writing it down in the mystical Maybe Someday category will help.

Hmmm. Maybe, Someday, God, I will have picked up all those sticks. Or maybe not. But, I feel a lot better having some idea of what’s going on.