Joys of the Senses AND of the Heart

Posted on March 5, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Orchids at the Farmers' Market near Diamond Head

Good Day, God!

My husband Kit is musical — thrilled by music like Britten’s A Young Person’s Guide to the Orchestra (particularly the rousing conclusion). The link (above) is to Simon Rattle conducting an orchestra wearing distinctive colored shirts — one color for each set of instruments. Truly lovely!

I am the visual one. I VIBRATE at colors. So the rainbow of orchids at the Farmers’ Market this Saturday left me aglow.

Mothers lined up to have a photo with the Corn Man at the Farmers' Market

But, it isn’t just music and colors and the joys of the senses that we humans relate to. I was delighted watching the young mothers lining up to have photos taken with the “Corn Man.” I am smiling even now looking at the joy on the mother’s face. Ah, please help me focus as much on the Heart as on the Mind, God!

Life holds such a wide variety of joys, God! Thank You! And such an incredible array of interests for the curious! I remember “waiting” for the World Wide Web back in the early 1990’s. We knew it was coming. For me it meant GRAPHICS and COLOR. No more unix green.

Who could have conceived of what evolved, God? And now the curve is so steep that I don’t think anyone can predict where it will go. Wonderful! But, maybe just a little scary, too?

The people of Good Will had best be busy, God! Please help us all work toward a healthier world.

Tagged with: A Young Person's Guide to the Orchestra, Corn Man, orchids, World Wide Web
Posted in Curiosity, Hearts, JOY, web of life

Welcoming Our Hawaii Symphony

Posted on March 4, 2012 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

Program of the Inaugural concert of the Hawaii Symphony

Good Day, God!

Thank you for Music, God, Thank You! Thank You, too, for the extraordinary sense of “community” that I experienced this evening at the very first concert of our new Hawaii Symphony. The old Honolulu Symphony was dissolved a few years ago amidst financial stress.

At the concert hall, when the new orchestra was “announced” and walked on stage, the audience, as one, rose to their feet and applauded and applauded and applauded. I had tears in my eyes. The auditorium was sold out, a total surprise to me and my husband Kit, and everyone was so happy to be there — so happy to be welcoming our musicians back.

The feeling lasted as the audience sang the Star Spangled Banner and Hawaii Ponoi, our state anthem. At the end of the concert — as the audience stood and clapped for at least ten minutes — every member of the orchestra was given a lei.

It was an evening to treasure — a tribute to the power and appeal of music — and to the health of our community. Thank You, God, not just for music, but for musicians and for the community leaders who persisted to recreate our symphony. Thank You!

Tagged with: a sense of community, community leaders, Hawaii Symphony, inaugural concert, music, musicians
Posted in listening, Music, people as gifts

Thoughts on being seen — and being valued

Posted on March 3, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

My husband, Kit, giving me a loving look

Good Day God,

Thank You, God, that I have a husband who sees me. I’ve been talking about hearing and being heard. And that is important. But, Kit, sees me, too.

We are both still busy. Probably too busy. But, I am seen by him. Seen as a separate person with quirks and idiosyncratic behaviors.

I think the day he came home and told me he had seen a T-Shirt that said “Normal is Boring” was a turning point. He told me that he had to get it for me — and he did.

So, I suppose, God, that the gift isn’t just being seen but being valued just as I am. To be sure, there is a bit of amusement in his gaze. But, then there might be a bit of that in my eyes, too.

I wish, God, that every husband — well every spouse — could gaze at the other with love, affection and acceptance. It is a truly wonderful thing to be accepted as we are.

I try and remember that, God. I have a tendency to want to push things a little bit closer to “better.” That includes pushing myself. Pushing and pulling spouses, however, is ever so counter productive. You know that God. And You love us just as we are. As we are right now.

Knowing that, feeling that, helps us as we work on loving and accepting ourselves. Once we have lovingly accepted ourselves then compassion can flow so much more freely.

All of this take time, doesn’t it God. But, the closer I get the more I appreciate that the journey it worth it!

Tagged with: acceptance, being seen as we are, normal is boring
Posted in Belonging to each other, Families, LOVE, respect

Once Again Working on Organizing Myself

Posted on March 1, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Tuesday afternoon rainbow with Kit driving from the airport

Good Day, God!

What a double joy to have my beloved husband Kit home, after his eleven days on the Mainland. First is just the pleasure of his company. Second is his loving help in so many ways. I am so blessed, God! Help at home makes the difference between enjoying the chores and being beset by them.

Today, further exploring the idea of creating my own Life Games I looked for Tasks that could be done in 3-5 minutes — that were routine — and that I could tell when they were done. I found quite a few. 1) Water my house plants 2) upload photos 3) make an appointment 4) write one email 5) make the bed 6) brush my teeth 7) do floor exercises 8) do weights 9) take vitamins 9) tidy my desk 10) take a shower.

So many micro tasks, God! And if I went on to create a list of 10-minute tasks and then 20-minute tasks — most of my life would fall within them. Life is a mosaic. But, having made a mosaic years ago, I know that one needs a framework to set the pieces in. Judith Kolberg in her book ADD-Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life talks about Strategies, Structure and Support. Strategies and Structure seem doable. Ah, but Support is a little trickier.

Judith Kolberg observes that people with ADD especially don’t like to ask for help. Hmm. I thought it was just me — perhaps being a matter of pride. But, now I am thinking it might be that people who are sequentially impaired might just have a hard time scheduling help. Sigh. I guess, God, that identifying what is HARD should tell me where to put my effort.

But, I will need to ask for Your Help, God, in order to ask for help from others.

Tagged with: ADD-Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life, Judith Kolberg, micro-tasks, sequentially impaired
Posted in asking for help for myself, Changing, Choosing to respond, Ongoing Transformation

Skip Bo and the Games of Life

Posted on February 29, 2012 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

The game of Skip Bo

Good Day, God!

I enjoy playing games with my 97-year-old mom. Today, after we got back from the doctor’s, we were playing Skip-Bo when it hit me. My mother and I really are playing two different games.

She is playing one in which she “wins” if she plays all the cards in her hand and gets to draw five more. She also gets a “small win” if she can finish a run with a 12 and get it set aside.

The game I am playing is about being the first person to play all the cards in my pile and WIN! I enjoy winning, God. But, I realized that my mother — playing her game — is probably getting more TOTAL enjoyment than I am. Hmm.

Game Frame by Aaron Dignan

And that got me to thinking about the varied and assorted Games of Life. When we are in school, the games are fairly easy to figure out: Achieving status as a Brain, Jock, Prom Queen, Cheer Leader — that’s winning. Then in our working years, it gets trickier. Employers and employees often seem to be playing separate games.

Now that I am retired I can create my own games. But I’m scared to actually do it. I have been sort of circling around the idea. I already understand “giving myself points” and I am part way through the book Game Frame in which Aaron Dignan extolls the benefits of games for learning and “accelerated achievement.”

But designing a game means choosing goals. It means choosing some goals and not choosing others. It means “noticing” what I find rewarding. And wondering what else I could find rewarding. This isn’t just “showing up” and “getting along” with half conscious choices. This is serious.

Ah! It feels like You just pointed out that I could start with a draft and keep on making changes. Thanks, God!

Tagged with: Aaron Dignan, Game Frame, Skip bo as two very different games
Posted in accepting my ability to REDESIGN, authority over my life, Balancing and adjustments, choices, Choosing Meaning

A New Day — Aspirations and Persistence

Posted on February 28, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Sunrise: Photo by Pulelehua Quirk

Good Day, God!

I am beginning this post at the very beginning of the day. I began by reading GOD Calling on my Nook app. And it is true, God, what they quoted You as saying — Come Apart! Spend time in My Presence — I am with you.

Ah, God, I know that people do a lot of harm “in Your Name,” but have they spent Time in Your Presence — or are they following those claiming to know? Well, please, God, expand us all.Expand our Hearts! And, that request really is enough for the whole day, God. A Heart felt plea.

But, although such pleas are important, I’ve noticed that I creep forward and fall back . . . or maybe just fall back . . . with distressing regularity. I am beginning to suspect that maybe the end goal is not so much to be “improved” or “expanded” as it is to come nose to nose with my basic nature. Sadly I am imperfectable. Even this biological optimist “gets it.”

But, having gotten it . . . and adjusted my self-image down several notches — I still go back to the game of trying to get my life in balance. I’m listening to Judith Kolberg’s book on ADD-Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life. I think I absorb information better through my ears.

Listening to the book today, God, I realized that I need to reset my DEFAULTS. Instead of defaulting to KEEP I need to reset my default to TOSS. That would really help clean out a lot of the creeping clutter.

Well, Kit is home at last from visiting our daughters on the Mainland and all is well with my world — even if it is not as organized as it will be!

Tagged with: ADD-Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life, biological optimists, God Calling, Judith Kolberg
Posted in clean and tidy, humility, Maintenance

Glorious Morning Clouds and Rain-filled Heart

Posted on February 27, 2012 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

Early Morning Clouds over Hawaii Kai

Good Day, God!

These beautiful clouds greyed up just a few minutes later and looked very much like rain. And it has been that sort of day. Lots of changes in the “weather” and in my “inner weather” too. Lots of feelings, God. I started out excited that my beloved husband Kit returns tomorrow. Then I got a call from my mom — calling me over.

I thought she was just trying to avoid going to the ear doctor but I found that my mom really was sick — having a small infection on her lower left leg — yes, from the cat. Really, God, I was quite upset when I realized there were no doctors to be scheduled in Hawaii Kai for the week. As the poor dear receptionist explained — people can’t get refills unless they re-see the doctor. She quickly added that infections OUGHT to come before refills. But that they had been instructed NOT to add any more visits.

I thought of the terrible urgent care place . . . and keeping my mom sitting there amongst the Contagious. Then I tried to picture getting mom to go to the emergency room . . . actually, I tried to imagine getting myself to go. Sigh. She at least has a childhood of Christian Science to explain her attitude.

All of this is hard, God! And, even though I know I am incredibly fortunate in many ways, knowing that doesn’t reduce the suffering. I wonder why it is, God, that we feel it isn’t right for us to suffer as long as there are others worse off? We act as if somehow suffering were rationed and we’d have to hold off until we get our coupon.

Anyway, I soaked my mom’s leg in hydrogen peroxide and after playing scrabble with her I told her I’d come back to check on her. Two hours later she had eaten a good lunch and her leg looked better. And, I felt better too. Better, but wrung out. Indeed, a lot of pride has been wrung out of me, God. And, mostly, I’m thankful.

Tagged with: a full day of feelings, sitting among the Contagious or not
Posted in fears, Feeling our feelings, Worries

Roses and Rest

Posted on February 26, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

A red rose from my "garden" sitting on my mother's table

Good Day, God!

This rose was grown in a pot in my car port. But that sure didn’t keep it from doing its best. Of course, God, it gets real food — dehydrated chicken manure. I don’t think it’s organic, though.

I’m laughing at myself, God. Still, I did make sure my stew meat for tonight’s dinner was grass-fed beef from the Big Island. What we eat, matters. The atmosphere in which we eat, matters too. Tonight I ate slowly — putting down my fork — pausing — and taking over 20 minutes. Drum roll, please!

My husband Kit is still in LA visiting our daughter Suzanne. So while I ate I began reading The Gift of Rest: Rediscovering the Beauty of the Sabbath, by Senator Joe Lieberman.

The Gift of the Sabbath

He begins by telling about walking home (4.5 miles) from the Capitol building in the rain — walking because it was the Sabbath. Then he explains that the joy of the Sabbath makes an occasional walk in the rain a small price to pay.

Sigh, how wonderful it must be to have both your family and your culture supporting you in observing the Sabbath. How sad that our culture made the Sabbath into a joyless desert and now works (with pride, yet!) 24/7. No, God, not sad, PITIFUL!

What I am slowly learning, God, is that in order to obverse the Sabbath one has to do less the rest of the week. Duh! Honestly, God, sometimes I wonder about my “everyday smarts!”

Having retired, I find that I am dropping other activities too. Tomorrow, because I am taking my mom to the ear doctor in the afternoon, I am skipping my noon Rotary meeting. I enjoy that meeting. But, I don’t enjoy rushing — not anymore. Hmm. It sounds as if I am finally kicking the adrenaline addiction. Thank You, God! Thank You!

Tagged with: adrenaline addiction, doing less, observing the sabbath, The Gift of Rest, working 24/7
Posted in beauty, JOY, living within limits, sabbath rest, sacred space, setting my life in context

Hearing my deep inner voices into speaking

Posted on February 25, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

The lights in Central Union's Fireside Room

Good Day, God!

A lovely day. A day at the Contemplative Outreach of Hawaii’s “commuter retreat” led by Jim Vorndran, S.M. There were 30 of us there. You can feel the difference, God, when you center with a group. Even a small group helps me to keep my focus. I suppose the question might be Focus on What?

The idea of centering prayer is to Focus on One Word that I’ve selected. And then gently return to that word as all manner of images and thoughts skitter and scurry through my mind. The idea is to let You do the work, God.

I’ve seen this mostly as a quieting and calming of my mind.But today I got a treat! Jim suggested that after we center we journal on whatever seemed most often to distract us — or perhaps what most upset us — during our centering.

Oh JOY! I am such a word-loving person that words exploded into my Journal! I was almost always the last person out of the room as we shifted venues. Jim’s gentle encouragement helped me to see that for me Centering and Journaling go together. Centering helps my Dominate Conscious Mind relax — loosen its grip — letting voices slowly rise from deep inside me.

I know that we humans we need to be Heard into Speaking. I just never thought that my own inner voices also needed to be Heard into Speaking. But, clearly, God, they do.

And all of this makes me think of my aunt’s long silence in an abusive marriage. Women have been “trained to silence” for so long and in so many cultures. So perhaps, God, it isn’t surprising that I have voices that need to speak. Inner voices that want to be HEARD into speaking.

Thank You, God, for always listening — for wanting and waiting for me to speak.