A Peaceful Day

Posted on January 13, 2015 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Atherton Chapel on our way to Central Union’s main sanctuary

Good Evening, God!

I do love Central Union Church’s 7 a.m. service in Atherton Chapel . . . but we slept in this Sunday.

So, we got to go to the class after the 9:00 a.m. service and hear Biblical scholar Tom Robinson talk about the book of Genesis. He started by telling his wish that we Christians could be more like Jews. He said the Jews understand the Bible is History! Many Christians view it more like Greek myths and don’t really get that these were real people, doing real things in real places.

REAL! Right, God! REAL! Hearing that was a Wake Up Call! A slap on the side of the head.

You are far more real — and just far more — than I can comprehend. But, You long for me to step out of my busy world of worries and cares and step into Your World of Love and Joy and Peace. Those are just a few of the qualities that the Bible refers to as the Fruit of the Spirit. As we open to Your Holy Spirit and let it take root deep inside of us . . . the Spirit will bring a richer and deeper sense of Peace as well as a spirit of Joy — a joy that bubbles up and around our burdens.

Centering is one pathway into Your world. Praise and worship are another. One-on-one praying with a friend is another. And, yes, “sitting Your Presence” and letting my thoughts and words flow is yet another pathway.

Today was a day entirely at home. I had no idea that having nothing on the calendar would be so refreshing. But, after my 3 mile walk/jog I came home — had a bite to eat with my wonderful husband, Kit, Centered and took a two hour nap. WOW!

Yes, God, I’m retired. I can do this more often — entering more fully into the Peace You give.

Tagged with: centering prayer, Fruit of the Spirit, Holy Spirit, peace, praying, rest
Posted in Centering Prayer, connecting, letting the Holy Spirit flow through us, Peace, Prayer, rest

The Joy of Praying with a friend

Posted on January 8, 2015 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

maidenhair fern in my front garden

Good Morning, God!

This dear maidenhair fern plant wasn’t placed quite right in my automatic watering setup — and when I got home in late November from my trip to Tucson I found it in a sad shape.

I cut off all the dead fronds and put it into what I hoped was a “better” spot. Now I’m rejoicing in its new fronds!

And, it comes to me that if I am so happy about a maidenhair fern coming back to health . . . how much more You rejoice when we turn toward a fuller Life.

I’m smiling, God. I am certain that lots of people would laugh at me for believing You exist . . . let alone believing that You take a loving interest in each one of us. And, I suppose there are others who are horrified that I dare to chat with You . . . no Thee, no Thou . . . no seminary degree. Ah well.

I know that You are far FAR more than I can comprehend or imagine! But, human is all the higher I can go. I mean how could I imagine more? To see You just as a Force is — in my mind — to subtract from You. Anyway, I am thankful — filled with heart-warming joy — that I can talk with You.

The only thing that I experience as even better is to talk to You with one or two others! It is more than just “praying” with someone. It is as if each person is Listening and Responding with You “helping.” That kind of prayer is one of the most meaningful things I do. And afterwards I feel more Alive . . . more Aerated . . . more Joyful.

How is it, God, that Praying isn’t presented that way? Oh, I do wish prayer were Packaged Properly!

Tagged with: chatting in God's Presence, conversational prayer, hearing with our hearts, Prayer
Posted in attunement, connecting, Conversations, Prayer, Praying together extemporaneously

Dealing with the Stuff of Life

Posted on January 5, 2015 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Sunset and boats and stuff at the marina

Good Evening, God!

I took this photo last night as we were watching the moon rise . . . I love both sunsets and moonrises.

For a change I wanted to photograph the “stuff” that is in this photo. Maybe because I knew that this morning was my morning to “deal” with stuff. Susan, The Helper, came over and with her as Body Anchor, encourager, and coworker I managed to plow through a few months worth of “stuff” that I had put off.

It wasn’t really hard. And, as I did each task I wondered WHY I had considered it “hard” enough to put off. I noticed that most of the tasks required several steps to complete. Apparently, I’m put off by that. And, yes, God, I know that is true for most of us. Each additional step reduces the chance a thing will get done.

I know that You want to help me exercise more personal responsibility. The “catch” seems to be that You will only help me with a project as I am doing the project. The STARTING seems to be almost totally my job.

Hmm. So, I BEGIN and You come along and help. Duh! I have been asking You to help GET me Started! Sheesh! I feel silly. Worse yet, I think I have been waiting for You to help me feel like doing it. How foolish to think I will ever feel like doing something dull and tedious.

Tagged with: asking for help, Body Anchors, helpers, personal responsibility, Starting, Stuff
Posted in Changing, choosing HARD, responsibility, Stuff, Work

The Open Doors of 2015

Posted on January 4, 2015 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

A “hidden” open door at the Honolulu airport parking garage

Good Afternoon, God!

For years I’ve read about animals locked up in cages for so long that when the door was left open the animals didn’t even think about walking out.

And, God, every once in a while I wonder if there are doors in my life that I either haven’t seen . . . or haven’t thought to open . . . let alone walk through.

There are some Closed Doors (areas of Learned Helplessness) that I AM aware of. Spelling, Languages, Meticulousness. In those I have tried and failed and given up. I have accepted that I am just “not good” at those things. They look like Locked Doors to me.

But mostly, I don’t think about the “doors” in my life at all.

And this is true even though l loved Carol Dweck’s book Mindset which talks about how we are not nearly as FIXED or LIMITED as we assume. Dr. Dweck stresses the importance of Hard Work in mastery as opposed to resting on Fixed Intelligence. I loved the IDEA of Hard Work. I just haven’t applied it to my every day life.

Then New Year’s Eve I dropped our oldest daughter, Suzanne, off at the airport and went to park the car. The parking garage is being renovated so there are a lot of parts blocked off. As I was walking up toward the crossover walkway I saw a chainlink fence — apparently blocking the entrance. Bummers!, I thought, and I almost turned around. But, I went a few more yards so I could see around the corner and there on the right side was an open door!

I had only pushed on a few more feet. Not really “hard work” but it was enough to see that the door was open.

Please, God, in this New Year may I have eyes to see all the Open Doors around me!

Tagged with: Carol Dweck, Closed Doors, Growth Mindset, Hard Work, Locked Doors, Open Doors
Posted in Books, Growth Opportunities, Hard Work, Help me to see, Possibilities, responsibility

Hello to 2015

Posted on December 31, 2014 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Sunset over Hawaii Kai

Good Morning, God!

The last day of 2014 and I am looking forward to a New Year! Not that I haven’t learned from the — soon to be — old year. I have. It is just that mostly I learned how much more growing I have yet to do.

Yes, God, that is a big step forward! I know that. I am just much slower at feeling good about it.

After all, I have years of conditioning to value successes and to be judgmental of failures. So, I am still working at turning that value system right side up — and valuing my mistakes.

Aurgh! You really want me to confess my biggest mistake? Sigh. I think my biggest mistake has been to avoid even thinking about my problems (unwanted responsibilities and unpleasant stuff) and numbing out on historical novels and solitaire games. Escaping, as it were, from this amazing life You have given me.

Talk about a really big mistake! So, what has changed? Well, I have a lot more HOPE now. I have hope in looking back over last year and seeing just how much things have improved. I also have more hope because our oldest daughter has recommended specific supplements that have helped us both physiologically. And both of our daughters are there for us . . . as we try to be there for them.

Gosh, God, a loving family is a really BIG reason to hope! Family and friends are a big help in getting me to face forward into the New Year and into much more personal responsibility.

One more “help” for the New Year is the reframe I’m doing on Personal Responsibility. I used to sort of see it as a burden. But, it is becoming clear to me that Personal Responsibility is the KEY to Freedom! The Key to a better life . . . to fuller use of the Life You have given me. Thank You, God, for 2014 AND for a New Year!

Posted in a New Year, connecting, Failure as Teacher, Families, learning, Mistakes, responsibility

The Really Big Gift of Life

Posted on December 28, 2014 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

A winter morning in Waikik

Good Morning, God!

It’s a chilly morning here in Honolulu — 64 degrees! People in the Midwest would laugh. They have perspective that we in Hawaii lack. Hmm. Perhaps the entire Western World lacks perspective. We have so much . . . but how much time do we spend being aware, thankful, grateful?

When I worked at a retirement residence, helping people learn to use the Internet, I came to realize that LIFE is such a big gift that we can loose a lot . . . and still find life a big gift.

I hear a small voice saying, “What about pain?” Well, Yes, God, what about pain? Are You saying that pain, like fear, is a gift to alert us — to warn us, to get us to turn, to change direction, and possibly cry out for help?

The Body Keeps The Score

Hmm. I tend to deny and deaden pain . . . and especially fears. So it is hard for me to reframe pain and fear as a Warning, a Wake Up Call. I am having a hard time taking charge of my self. It’s hard to imagine that I can respond in some way other than to repress, ignore or fret.

I have been pondering, God, the deep pains and sorrows of trauma. I am part way into The Body Keeps The Score by van der Kolk. And I can hardly wait to get to the later parts where he describes practices that may help us heal.

But, of course, God, to heal means to go INTO the pain . . . to face the fear. And then to grab on to hope with both hands and dare to imagine another layer of healing!

Yes, Life is a gift — and it can be an even bigger gift than I can imagine. But, I must do the hard work of unwrapping it! Please help me remember that I need not do it alone!

Tagged with: Fears, healing, help, hope, pain, traumas
Posted in Books, connecting, fears, going THROUGH the sorrow, healing, health, hope

Dragons — Healing, Forgiving and more Healing

Posted on December 12, 2014 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

My Inner Dragon

Good Morning, God!

Over the last few weeks I’ve become much more aware of my Inner Dragon. I’ve known, God, how all we humans have a part of our brain that’s called The Reptilian Brain. But, it was a shock to realize that part of my brain was no sluggish lizard — it was a Dragon!

I had awaken with a dream in which I was threatening a person in my dream with horrible consequences if he didn’t do what I wanted. Yikes! It has been a long time since I have had such focused anger. It was scary! And it gave me a whole new appreciation of the Hard Work of Forgiving!

Just the day before I had read about our need to “wipe the slate clean” and forgive. After my dream it was clear to me that forgiving this person was gong to be much more like persuading a Dragon to hand over a Gold Ring. I know the gold ring is poison . . . my dragon thinks it precious.

Clearly, God, I need Your Help in taming — or at least training — my dragon. You left it in us for reasons . . . we need its Life Force . . . its Energy . . .

But I am becoming aware that Dragons HARM one another. Actually, God, the word Traumatize is surfacing. And Big Wounds — traumas — need healing.

Perhaps, when we have such a hard time getting ourselves — our dragons — to forgive — perhaps we should ask if they need healing? Wounds, like pearls, are richly layered. Hurts, traumas, hate, anger — pile up — creating complex lumps, like shrapnel, stuck in our Emotional Bodies.

You, God, are our Creator! Please help us come to You for healing . . . for full Health!

Tagged with: Dragons, Emotional Bodies, forgiving, Healing Traumas, Layered lumps of grief and anger, Shrapnel, Wounds
Posted in Anger, connecting, Expand my Heart, Forgiving, Grief, healing

Apple and Asking for Help

Posted on December 6, 2014 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Apple Icon

Good Evening, God!

Here I am in a world of increasing technology . . . increasing complexity . . . and thank goodness, I am learning to Ask for Help!

Today I called the Apple folks to find out why my iPhone’s bluetooth wasn’t discovering my UE mini boom speaker. A small problem as I could use my iPad. Still, I wanted it to work the way it should.

It took the help of an Apple senior engineer who actually thought to read the FAQ on the UE website. Yes, God. I am sure I could have done that myself . . . I could have, had I thought of doing it. But I was raised inside an Expert/Apprentice model of education. I went to school and was taught by people who “knew” or at least we all thought they knew. I wasn’t raised to explore for an answer.

Now, we are a quite different environment: A New Complexity fueled by Rapid and Accelerating Change. So, it is hard to find “authorities” nowadays. In fact, we are in a New Educational Paradigm of Heuristic Learning. Trial and Error . . . try this, try that and most of all keep on trying.

It’s a vastly different mental landscape. And in this landscape Apple is offering help. An excellent call desk and unlimited classes at their stores for $99 a year. Amazing! Yes, I have to pay something . . . but it’s a bargain! It is wonderful to have people who know more than I do and who want to help. And, it makes me feel good to know that they don’t know everything and they have to ask for help, too.

Hm. I’m thinking, God, that You want to help us, too. I surely need Your Help . . . I want to ask You for help . . . please help me remember to ask You — and keep on asking!

Tagged with: Apple, asking for help, complexity, heuristic learning, trial and error
Posted in complexity, connecting, humility, learning, Persistence, Prayer

A Coral Tree and Caring People

Posted on December 2, 2014 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

blossoms on an alive coral tree — found on a morning walk

Good Afternoon, God!

What a delight to find a healthy coral tree! There used to be so many of them . . . blooming every January. The first flowering tree of the year. Then came a small invasive wasp . . . and it killed the coral trees. I thought that ALL were gone! I do hope the wasps don’t find this one.

This makes think me of chestnut trees — mostly gone due to a blight. But a ranger told me that every so many years the roots of the trees send up a shoot to see if it’s time to come back. I find that amazing! And a very special testimony to the importance of roots. Unseen, living in the dark damp earth and supporting the whole tree — and capable even of hoping!

There are people like that too, God. Good solid, hard-working and caring people. They are doing tedious routine jobs — collecting garbage, cashiering, filling pot holes — jobs that make all the rest possible. I’m thankful for the kind loving roots of our society.

I saw a wonderful quote years ago: “A society that prefers mediocre philosophy to decent plumbing will soon find that neither its philosophies nor its pipes hold water.” Although, in our time I guess it is venture capitalists and entrepreneurs that have the respect . . . certainly more than philosophers.

a coral tree and Koko Crater

This morning, I went to Dr. Boyer for MOHS surgery on a small basal cell cancer just above my lip. And he had four nurses who in rotation took care of me at each step. Explaining and warning me before each action — going slow, to avoid pain and surprises. Their care transformed the experience into one of being cared for — instead of just being cut up.

Ah, God, would that we all showed that root-like care and support for one another.

Tagged with: Caring, coral trees, roots, supporting
Posted in Caring, Compassion, connecting

Keeping on — Keeping on Growing

Posted on November 19, 2014 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

aguaro and turn in the road

Good Morning, God!

I am still here in Tucson –but now I am with my wonderful daughter Sandy and our son-in-law Dave — as well as grandson Ian.

Such a RICH family time. Thank You, God for families . . . people I love enough for You to be able to use them as levers in changing me.

I must say, God, that You nailed me the other day when You pointed out that I am the Oldest member of the Family and therefore all or any changes MUST begin with me.

Me? YES! ME!

Dang!

Who knew that Life would keep on and on requiring more of me? I am coming nose to nose with the reality that at no point will I be done. The question always is — Here’s what is. How am I going to respond? What am I going to say and do? And will I remember to ask You first — before I speak or act?

I am grateful for very small steps. I am learning that Speaking the Truth in Love — is about loving myself enough to speak truth about myself — not so much about others. Being vulnerable means depending on You to help me deal with what might follow.

Please, God, keep on helping me! PLEASE take my “Mother Heart” and give her Humility! Help me entrust my Heart — and the Loved Ones in my Heart to YOU.

And, thank You, God, that my problems are pretty darn small. Please help me remember that. Please help me praise You for the problems I have!