The gift of Hope

Posted on December 11, 2009 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Up in the middle of the night — Please, God, help me go back to sleep. Hold off the swarm of things WANTING to be done. Let me enter into Your DEEP rest of sleep. Amen!

I’m back, God, after a lovely deep sleep. But before I slept I read and responded to an email on the importance of having good food to make the ARV (AIDS medication) work for you instead of against you. It seems that the layers of helping orphans in Swaziland goes deeper and deeper. Everything IS connected to everything else, isn’t it! Thank you for letting me help — for adding my carrot to the soup.

Somehow, looking at this photo my brother sent me of this deer in his front yard, I am mindful of Your Provision for us and for the other Creatures. We have been given the position of Children — but we are still Your Creation. The trouble is, God, we seem to be action like children, and not grownups.

Yes, You’ve noticed, haven’t You. And, I can feel inside of myself the buffeting of discouragement. Give up — curl up — do nothing. . . these gusts of hopelessness are from a DARK PLACE. But they make me understand the essential nature of HOPE. Indeed, they make me see that HOPE is truly a GIFT FROM YOU! Is it hope that sends the deer out into the snow looking for edible twigs? Hope that is inextricably woven into our Life Force?

Ah, we do not venture out into the snow of reality without You and the help of Your Spirit, do we God. You have given us the gift of life and with it the gift of HOPE. Now, please God, give us gifts of wisdom and knowledge to act as You would have us act. Oh! It isn’t JUST wisdom and knowledge, You say. There are little matters like MY getting good nutrition and enough sleep and a weekly Day of Rest. Shoot, I am hearing DO WHAT YOU KNOW! Then come and ask to know more. Sigh. . . thank You. I think You call that being HUMBLE.

Posted in A weekly day of rest, God's Provision, gusts of discouragement, gusts of hopelessness, Hope as a gift from God, the cold snow of reality, the essential nature of hope

Hearing myself and others

Posted on December 10, 2009 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Toy Soldiers outside my Mom's retirement residence

I love it when I get up before the birds, God. I love it when it is dark and quiet and still.

Maybe because it is easier to hear You in the silence? Or maybe because it is just so very peaceful. YOUR PEACE. For one thing, today is one of my WANTA BE sabbath days — when I don’t do business. It leaves me free to visit with friends and really HEAR them.

As I went home last night from visiting with Mom (Marjorie the First) I was struck by the LIGHTS. I don’t usually visit that late so I was surprised by the Christmas lights. And I thought about how You came as Light so that the people who dwelt in Darkness would see a Great Light. Sigh. We have created our own lights and distract ourselves, don’t we. And I am sitting in front of one of our manmade lights — my computer screen. Yet, none of these things need keep us from SEEING YOU.

Your coming was also announced as the WORD. And now I am smiling. I love words. Centering Prayer, where one sits in Your Presence and remains silent — letting all thoughts pass through — has been very helpful. And, God, it is true that You are most here in my pauses between words. But yesterday I was struck at how important it is for us to speak. To speak our hopes and our fears — to speak forth on our own behalf. YOU DIDN’T, did You. And now thoughts are tumbling out and about. So please help me here. When I say SPEAK ON OUR OWN BEHALF — I don’t mean argue. I don’t mean plead. I don’t mean blame. I mean to speak my heart truth with dignity and self respect and compassion. THAT IS PART OF LOVING MYSELF. Ah, yes. Back on the question of what does it mean to love ourselves — and then to love our neighbors as we love ourselves. HEAR THEM! HEAR YOURSELF! All RIGHT!

Posted in A weekly day of rest, friends, hearing myself, recovery time, relationships

Loving myself first?

Posted on December 8, 2009 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

A good morning, indeed! Sleeping in . . . staying home. The day is sunny and bright. I can, if I want to, go and have lunch at the Blu Water Grill and look out at the marina and Koko Crater.

It is the best of days . . . in that I am not putting any pressure on myself.
And, as soon as I type that, I think, THAT’S RIGHT! I am the one putting pressure on myself. Hm. Does that come from school? Is that where we begin the pressure to “do well”? And then I bump up against the definition of DOING WELL. Standards and norms and expectations.

Please, God, help me with this. I can sort of see that pressure is related to hoped for outcomes — in school a grade, a position, or a degree — but again it is the attached outcome that motivates us. Does it go back wanting to please our parents? And how about pleasing YOU?

The Great Commandment is to Love the Lord our God with all our hearts and minds and strength. AND TO LOVE OUR NEIGHBOR AS OURSELVES. Ah, but the Daily Details! Now THERE is a book! But, that’s a copout,isn’t it. OK! Help me here with a few details: Loving You 1) desiring to spend time with YOU. 2) wanting to bring You Joy because it brings me joy. 3) respecting You and staying on Your Path.

Interesting. I had started out with acknowledging Your existence but then I thought that really has nothing to do with LOVE. Because one can acknowledge the existence of an enemy . . . But when we get into loving our neighbor and ourselves it might very well start with acknowledging their existence . . . as in being willing to look upon the faces of orphan children in Swaziland. . . . as in calling my Mom . . . as in writing a Thank You Note . . . as in sharing a meal.

Sigh, perhaps love is as simple as in sitting here at my computer and trying to hear You and myself. Could be, couldn’t it. Thanks for the company and the LOVE!

Tagged with: bringing God joy, looking at the daily details of love, taking off the pressure
Posted in acknowledging another's existence, calling my mom, hearing myself, putting pressure on ourselves, The daily details of love, writing a thank you note

Recovery time, a gift I mostly don’t accept

Posted on December 7, 2009 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Central Union Church 62nd presentation of the Messiah

Thank You, God! Thank You for MUSIC, for the Messiah, for helping Handel compose it. You gave him a lot of help, if he did, indeed, write it in 24 days. Kit is dubious. But, I say, SURE, with Your help — 24 days — no problem! (Kit is up there in the chorus.)

Of course, there was the small matter of his recovery time. Being used by You — letting Your Holy Spirit flow through us — does require recovery time. I am looking forward to recovery time tomorrow and I am just giving a presentation!

Recovery Time seems sadly lacking in our world. And I am so thankful that I have kept Tuesday clear so I can recover! I promised Mom I would play games until she couldn’t stand to play another one.

You say, it might take longer than one day? You say ONE DAY is the prescribed (commanded) recovery time for just a routine week. OUCH. Yes, I hear You. YOU MEAN IT! Sigh, I have no excuses, do I. This is about trusting YOU. Trusting that following the Ten Commandments is in my best interest — best long term interest even if I may think that I am too important to stop working for a WHOLE DAY! You Rested. I can (better had) rest. Oh GOD! I really NEED Your help to do this. And, WHEN I OBEY I WILL GET YOUR HELP. Not visa versa? AFRAID NOT! Thank You for this word. Help me be humble enough to truly receive it. Amen

Tagged with: Day of Rest, Handel's Messiah, Holy Spirit, recovery time
Posted in A weekly day of rest, Handel's Messiah, letting the Holy Spirit flow through us, recovery time, Trusting God

Busy — a Christian sin?

Posted on December 6, 2009 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Thank You, God, for TREES!

This is the one next to Atherton Chapel — only this time I took it with a camera, instead of my cell phone. It is in better focus. You know, God, there are a lot of things in my life/mind that are “Out of Focus” — or to be more charitable, they could be in better focus. Now, as I think of my camera, it requires TIME to focus. Time spent committed to one image. If I rush, my camera takes a blurred image.

Ahaaa. No wonder the Amish used to say BUSY is from the Devil! And, busy is just BUSY! We can be BUSY doing GOOD THINGS! We can be busing doing things FOR YOU! It is still BUSY!

And BUSY is still going to mean blurred images — if we even stop to take a photo. Blurred images, blurred thoughts.

That is a very helpful thought, God. Please help me slow down. Help me to walk not run. Walk and stop and chat and listen. Maybe, even, listen to YOU.

After all, Psalm One compares us to Trees. Trees PLANTED by streams of water which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. And I hear: PLANTED MARGIE, PLANTED! Oh my. Today, God, deepen me. Help my roots go down deep into Your good soil. And help me to listen to YOU so that I do not rush — do not act as if You have not given me enough time. You have given me LIFE. And that is ENOUGH! Thank YOU!

Tagged with: being planted, listening, taking the time to focus, walking and chatting
Posted in being planted, busy, taking time to focus, walking not running

Hope and Help

Posted on December 5, 2009 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Good Morning, God,

I was going to pray about something close at hand. Like thanking You for the wonderful turnout for the First Annual Arcadia Library Open House yesterday. (I love being the “library consultant” and thank you for that, too.) And I AM thankful! 97 people entered the drawing for a free set of holiday notecards. People learned to use the computerized library catalog and the computerized resident directory. They enjoyed cheese and crackers and voted for their favorite coffee table book categories. And they carried off most of the 80 free books someone had left on our doorstep. Our sign said — Take one and get the second one FREE! And people took two!

But, this photo was on my desktop, God, and what I really want to pray about is for YOUR HELP in preparing and then giving my talk this Monday on our Advocates for Africa trip to Swaziland. The talk will be in the same place, Arcadia. And I want to share the sense of hope I have. And now I am sitting here trying to put into words exactly what I mean by hope.

Maybe it has to do with having hope in the act of connecting. Being there and talking with the women helping the orphans. Seeing them feeding around 175 children a nourishing meal with food we provide. That certainly gives me Hope in MAKING A DIFFERENCE!

It surely isn’t hope in the problems going away. But, there is something that happens when we help others — near or far — that feels good. God, is that YOU? And, it isn’t about giving a hand out, but giving a hand UP. Helping them start a poultry farm. Providing a well so they can plant gardens and grow food for the children. Helping these women means that they able able to do even more to help the vulnerable and orphan children. Now, God, please help me share stories of HOPE and share the JOY that comes from connecting and sharing. THANK YOU!

Tagged with: Advocates for Africa's Children, community, connectiong, hope, the joy of sharing
Posted in a hand up, Advocates for Africa's Children, connecting, hope, the joy of sharing

Webs of Life

Posted on December 4, 2009 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Thank you, God for sunlight! I love sunlight on the water, but there is something healing about light through green leaves. All the living green things in our lives — breathing out oxygen — for us to breathe in. All of us enmeshed in this glorious web of life. Thank You!

And we get to create webs. Indeed, we are called to create webs of caring. Weaving our life strands in and out of the lives of others. Others — such a poor denuded word — such and inadequate word for our fellow journeyers, our friends, met and unmet. I only used it because we weave into lives so unseen that I did not dare to name them friends.

That is what we are all called to be — FRIENDS. And, I think of my loving husband who has as — time has passed — become a friend magnet. For him there are No Strangers, only people he has yet to meet. And friends mention, years later, how much a note from him meant to them. Ah, yes. The gift of kindness reverberates forever.

And, because I am more visual than anything else, I picture us each as having our own color strands. Our own colors– many colors! And our own variety of sparkles and glitter to TOSS up into the air — to land, or just to float on by . . . perhaps to circle the earth and still not land. Thank You, God, for this life — this WEB — this Cosmic Fabric. You are the warp and woof — the Alpha and Omega. In You we live and move and have our being. This morning please help me sing with the Morning Stars. Amen

Posted in connections, friends, web of life

Embedded in God’s Time

Posted on December 3, 2009 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Morning Moon

Thank You for the moon.
And for the stars, too. Although we see so few due to light pollution.

Yesterday, driving in to town, I was enchanted by the full moon hanging on the edge of the horizon. I wanted to HOLD on to the experience, and I suppose that is what photos are all about.

And, possessions, too? Are they an attempt to hold on to invisible attachments — the person who gave it to us, the time and place it brings back, the feelings it evokes. Things, then, are like doorways into an almost forgotten time and place?

God, we are given the gift of living in Time. But, as for me, I don’t do well with time. I’m not alone, am I. We are responsive to things that happen quickly (though NOT as quickly as a FLASH flood) but things that happen slowly . . . tend not to be seen. The clutter on my desk? The global climate change? The AIDS illness?

And now I am back to the moon. It was an early calendar for us in marking the passing of time. The Hawaiians have a name for each night’s change in the moon — both waxing and waning. Ah, but God, we have watches now. And we divide time not into months or seasons, but into minutes and seconds and nanoseconds. Going faster, we turn aside from the larger, longer picture. Sigh. God, I don’t even know what to ask You for. Help? Yes, please help us remember we are SET / EMBEDDED EVEN, in YOUR TIME. Amen

Posted in embedded in God's Time, the moon as calendar, time

What kind of cat am I?

Posted on December 2, 2009 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

This is my Mom’s cat. I know You know all about her, God. You know about her life BEFORE the Humane Society.

My Mom's cat in her computer chair

And You know why she has TWO microchips in her. You understand her trauma about being in a cage for months at the Humane Society.

But as for me, I was ready to take her back. Because for the first two weeks she stayed BEHIND my Mom’s computer. Of course, Mom’s first cat, Kat, liked to stay ON the keyboard . . . but only when Mom wanted to type up an email. So perhaps staying behind the computer wasn’t so bad.

Still, God, in my mind a cat is supposed to be interactive. Maybe not a lap cat, but at least a cat that purrs once in a while.

Then, yesterday, I wondered about myself. What kind of “cat” am I? The thought came back this morning. Do I purr? I guess that would be an indication of contentment and happiness? Do I ever sit in Your Lap? Just sit there — without asking for anything? You know I have a hard time just sitting in centering prayer or meditation. Maybe, God, if I saw that as sitting in Your Lap it would be easier?

And now, as I sit in my computer chair, and look at Kitty sitting in a computer chair, I am feeling VERY MUCH like her. So, today, God, please help me be more “interactive” — more aware that You, too, must like it when we acknowledge Your Presence. Acknowledge You as HERE — as worthy of consideration and MORE — and not just here to fill our food dish and water bowl. Of course, I am speaking as a Cat Person. Dog people may see You quite differently. How good it is that You love all creatures great and small. Thank YOU!

Posted in interactivity, lap time, relationships

Even clouds declare Your Glory

Posted on December 1, 2009 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Clouds over Koko Crater

Last night, God, as I was falling into sleep, Kit was reading to me from Karen Armstrong’s book, The Case for God. It was something about Jonathan Edwards and the theologians of his time working on proving that You existed.

I remember laughing and saying something to the effect that the part of our mind that KNOWS YOU EXIST isn’t the part that does science. It all seemed so foolish as I slipped in to sleep.

But it comes back to me this morning, God, as something I want to explore with You. . . or at least IN YOUR PRESENCE. I picked clouds as an image because as science has sought to understand and predict — with our eyes turned out to our solar system and then our galaxy and beyond — they have done fairly well. For example, it is amazing to me that we can predict total eclipses! And even more amazing that humans have been able to do this for many years. But, the history of science is littered with misunderstandings and errors. And, the closer we get to Earth the worse we seem to do. Take for example WEATHER. It seems that there are an incredible number of variables. And, like clouds they are in motion — and interacting — and interacting in complex ways. Good on us for trying to understand, I say. But, really, humility seems essential in all of this.

Humility. Here I am, God. So aware of my limitations. (NO? NOT?) Well, I am BECOMING AWARE of my limitations. I cannot prove You exist. Nor would I try. The Psalms say that the Heavens declare the glory of God. I think even sunlit clouds declare Your Glory. And I am so thankful: thankful for this gift of life; this gift of time and space; this gift of awareness. Awareness of Your Love. Thank YOU!

Tagged with: clouds, humility, proving God's existence, thankfulness
Posted in gratitude, Heavens declare the Glory of God, humility, perspectives