Sunsets and Helpful “Hards”

Posted on January 20, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

sailboat off of Waikiki

Thank You, God, for sunsets — for night coming. This photo was taken yesterday evening after a Celebration of Lives Well Lived — a service for the Lindquists – two of Kit’s Punahou classmates. Saying Goodbye is important and theraputic — reminder that Sunset comes for us all.

And it is also an opportunity to connect with friends as we did before the Celebration. A chance to value and appreciate what we have. A prompt to be thankful.

Going back to sunsets — we see so much further at night. Light takes 8 minutes to reach us from our sun. Light takes years and years to reach us from the stars.

Hard times help us see, if not further, at least more clearly. When we were in our earthquake (Sylmar 1971) our walls came down and our pantry was filled a foot high with broken dishes and jars and stuff. But I was SO THANKFUL that we and all our neighbors were ALIVE that I didn’t give it a thought. Normally a pantry filled with broken jars and dishes would be upsetting. But when our world is shaken — like a terrier shakes a rat — then we know just how fragile life is. Fragile and temporary. Broken dishes — even possible broken bones — become as nothing.

Perspective! Perspective is a wonderful gift, but usually one we have to work for. The view from the mountain top is fantastic — but the climb up is hard. Hmmm. Hard. There’s that word again. Yesterday I saw some involuntary Hards — illnesses, etc.

Is it possible, God, to put off the involuntary hard, if we choose wisely on which Hards to undertake? Say, like, exercise? Suddenly LOTS more Helpful Hards spring to mind. YES! Clearly, You call us — command us — to CHOOSE USEFUL HARDS — TO CHOOSE LIFE! Please help me God to choose wisely — help me to notice the choices I do have!

Posted in choosing HARD, Helpful Hards

Choosing Hard — And Embracing Humility

Posted on January 19, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

photo from david@davidturnbull.com

Good Morning, God! I loved this photo when it came into my inbox yesterday as part of a blog called The Chill Factor. Kit takes cold showers and has been touting them to me for years — albeit not too obnoxiously. For a while I did END with cold water. It is easier in the summer . . . or when one has come back from a jog. But, the value lies in the fact that it is NOT easy. It is HARD.

And that takes me back to fasting — which is also easier to do after a jog. Hmmm. A jog is hard. Dying to self, is hard. That command has been much in my mind recently, God.

To tell the truth I think that verse and the one in Philippians I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME have been misused. As for the I CAN DO ALL THINGS — I take that to mean all the things YOU have put in my life or called me too. I do NOT take it to mean that I should work (even Your Work) 7 days a week as the norm — or even a frequent exception.

In short, God, I feel that the devil uses those two verses to blind us to our limits and our breaking points. Humility loves / well ACCEPTS / that we are human creatures. . . CREATED by YOU. How humbling is it to come face to face with our need to take time off and recover? Ah. We still have way down deep — or not so deep — the Adam and Eve desire to BE GODS. Or at least Superman — leaping tall buildings in a single bound! Smile . . . I love that too. But I acknowledge that LANDING is a lot harder now. And setting limits for myself is important — OK OK ESSENTIAL!

Ah, God, such a delicate balance between embracing HARD and still ministering to my real human requirements and limits. I do so need YOUR HELP! (Ah, yes, and I need to ask my family and friends for help too!)

So? Maybe this morning, to jog and end with cold water?

Posted in choosing HARD, courage to see myself, humility, Humility or Needing Help!, Life isn't supposed to be easy., recovery time

Making Room for The Best

Posted on January 19, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

New Moon over the beach at the Hau Tree restaurant

Good Morning God, how utterly lovely sunset was last night. There is something so lovely about a crescent moon set in a colored sky.

We were observing it, paying top dollar, while taking a classmate of Kit’s out for dinner. But, the moon and stars are a free gift to us all. There were people on the beach — who brought their beach chairs and settled in. I like having the beach free.

Dining at an expensive restaurant — expensive for us — makes me think of how we spend money. Kit is no doubt a model of how to spend money — which is, hardly at all on himself — except for running shoes and occasional trips to run marathons.

I, however, am an avid materialist. I LOVE the material world. A world filled with sunsets and iPods, with coconut water and raw macadamia nuts, with foraging trips to Ross’s or — when our daughters are here — Macy’s. I love spending hours looking at books at Barnes and Noble or going to the library. Yes, books are filled with content, and I love ideas, too. But books are also material objects to be held and loved.

But, more and more, I see material objects as Storage Problems! (Except perhaps, for earrings which are small and irresistible.)

The best things in life are free — if we are wise enough to make room for them — friends and family and YOU. Long conversations, shared prayer times, shared adventures and travels, coffee conversations and serendipitous meetings with soon to be friends. And, even, time with just myself. YOU have created a Marvelous World, God! And You have filled it with Wonderful People and such a diversity of Fellow Creatures. THANK YOU!

Posted in avoiding adding storage problems

Backlog Processing

Posted on January 17, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

my coconut had the green outside husked off

Yesterday morning while I was sipping my coconut water at the Farmers’ Market, I thought about fasting. Actually, I was starting a 2 meal fast, God, to try and makeup for not doing it yesterday although, I am pretty sure, it doesn’t work like that. I figured liquids were OK. And what better liquid is there than coconut water? Thank You, God for that excellent gift to us!

Anyway, as I was sipping away it occurred to me that perhaps one of the benefits of a fast is that it allows our bodies to stop working on incoming digestion and take care of some of the backlog. That thought really pleased me. As You know, God, I have two rooms full of backlogs. So, the idea of refraining from food and putting the time and energy into backlog processing was appealing.

Fasting is much easier on days when I have jogged. Exercise — even my light version — seems to set the body on fat consumption — so my body can dine happily while I forego. Now, God, what is it that happens on the Spiritual Level when we fast? Oh oh, did You just say that it would depend on whether the fast was done for Spiritual reasons? Dang. Good point.

Well, O.K. let’s suppose my fast was undertaken for purely spiritual reasons. What might the benefits be?Yes, I might try it and observe . . . Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.

Posted in exploring fasting, living by every word that comes from God, various backlogs in my life

On Being One of God’s Projects

Posted on January 16, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Rubin Vase image credit: John Smithson

Ah, God, a fresh awareness of what YOU are doing! And it is a gift from You as I heard myself saying it to a friend yesterday morning — and then went back and played it over. . . and over.

I want to change my circumstances — You want to use my circumstances to change me.

This is a major background / foreground shift. And, personally, God I find those shifts difficult, if not unnerving! So I looked for and found my favorite example of a background / foreground shift. The vase on the left is given a 3 dimensional look and so it just looks like a vase. But when the vase is flattened and made two dimensional and the background is turned black — then we can “see” the two faces on either side and the vase just becomes a white background. I’ve always liked that image, that example. But it is disturbing to see it as an example of how You are changing my way of seeing.

So, here I am. I want to do things — want to get my calendar under control — get my papers tossed or filed — finish a few projects. YOU WANT TO WORK ON GROWING ME! I am One of Your Projects! I don’t say that to flatter myself. I think You want to “grow” each and every one of us. That is a very fine abstract idea. The reality of it — pressing at me as it is doing right now — is another matter entirely.

Because in that reality I catch just a glimpse of my falling short — of my failing yesterday to respond to a nudge from You. That hurts. And it should hurt. I DO WANT to grow. I do want to please You. I just need to want it more than I want to take the easy path. Sigh.

Well, Yes, God. We learn best through our failures. That’s a loving word. And, TODAY is a NEW DAY

Posted in a hand up, adoring Easy, Choosing to respond

Pray FERVENTLY, Pray and FAST

Posted on January 15, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Bodlein Library

Well, God, one doesn’t appreciate what works, until one gets a good look at what doesn’t! Our government comes in for lots of complaints — but then looking at Haiti — at a government that seems only for the benefit of a few at the top — ours looks pretty good.

Somehow, the Bodlein Library seems at the other end of the spectrum from Haiti. Order. Stability. Wealth put to good use. . . creating a resource to be shared over time.

Wealth is a tricky topic isn’t it, God. Money is pretty neutral. You can do a lot of good with it. Or you can buy bigger boats and diamonds. What is it that Confucius said? Putting out desire with possessions, is like putting out fire with straw.

You just can’t ever have ENOUGH of what doesn’t satisfy. Trying to quench a thirst with salt water! How sad that is. Tragic, really. And, I fall prey to it, too. A new computer? A larger megapixel camera? A nook that holds more books than I could EVER read? Techno lust. Sigh.

But You have designed us to work together. . . to feel GOOD about helping someone down on his luck . . . or whose world has been reduced to rubble. So, then WHY Haiti? Why Rwanda? . . . EVIL?

We are not just wrestling with flesh and blood but with Powers and Principalities! THIS REQUIRES PRAYER AND FASTING!

So, then, looking back up at that lovely old library, this isn’t just a rational world. We can’t simply think or educate our way out of messes. Although, we could be working harder on that. We also NEED to SEEK Your Help and seek it FERVENTLY! And, perhaps even more importantly, HUMBLY.

I hear You say — Change the We to I — as in I need to seek Your Help and SEEK IT FERVENTLY!

Yes, God. Yes.

Posted in accepting my need for help, Help me to see, Humility or Needing Help!, Uncategorized

Haiti on our Hearts

Posted on January 14, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Port-au-Prince, Hati -- before the earthquake

Inexpressible devastation — I have been in an earthquake, God. A 6.7 one only 9 miles from us. The FEAR that comes from being in an earthquake OVERFLOWS everyone’s cup. My mother still talks about one from her childhood that saw a local library slide into the ocean. And a family member who was over a 100 miles from Our Earthquake talked about it just as dramatically as we did.

I read somewhere that for every tenth of a point of the Richter scale the intensity doubles. DOUBLES. I want to put a question mark after that, but then again, it should be an explanation point! So, a 7.3 earthquake is SIX TIMES more powerful than the one I was in? Unimaginable.

But, to have an earthquake ON TOP OF unspeakable poverty? Or is it Your Way of getting our attention? And now that we have focused our attention on Haiti — what then? How to respond? How to help? Here is the World’s chance to “Grow Up”. As I have been writing, God, I could feel You increasing the rather small amount I was giving. I just went to Compassion and donated.

My heart is breaking, God. Where is the HOPE in Haiti? I know our hope is in YOU. But, it seems to me — even when I know we aren’t to be trying to make earth heaven — that Your command to care for our neighbors REQUIRES MORE OF US THAN WE ARE DOING!

Give money. Pray for HOPE. DO NOT WALK BY ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STREET.

Yes, God. YES! But, I want MORE. I WANT A MARSHALL PLAN TYPE RESPONSE! And, yes, I will pray for that. (For the young people, the Marshall Plan was for the systematic rebuilding of 16 European countries after the devastation of World War II.) Well, God, help me become the Change I want to see. Help me to step back and get a better perspective on how I live! Maybe even a Vision of how I can live? And then map out the systemic / infrastructure support I need!

We are all poor. Some have no hope. Some have no purpose. Some have no money. Let us all share what we have been given.

Posted in a hand up, becoming the change I wish to see, systematic rebuilding required

Dining in the Dark

Posted on January 13, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

The Plumeria at the Kahala

There is something enchanting about going to a familiar place at an unfamiliar time. This is the Plumeria – a restaurant at the Kahala – a place that I love to go to for breakfast. Eating outdoors in the morning is a delight. I see the ocean, the flowers, the palms and the birds — and interesting visitors from far away places.

You know, God, I love being outside in the special light of January — more southern and not filtered through our glorious clouds. But, I found dining in the dark to have its own charm.
Perhaps because I do it so rarely?

Then again, walking around familiar grounds — but in the dark — seems to turn on a different internal application. It felt as if I were paying more attention — but that isn’t quite right. Hmmm. Maybe it was more that I was walking WITHOUT my WIDE VISUAL focus on. Not that I didn’t see things, I did. But I had to hunt for things to see. For example, I noticed that this tiki torch had a patterned ornamental holder — not the regular canister type.

tiki torch with patterned holders

And the stars were so much clearer, too. I could see the Pleiades right over head. . . and Orion’s Belt. The sky seemed closer.

Thank You, God, for chances to see the familiar from an unfamiliar perspective. I think I need more of that kind of seeing in my life, God.

Help me to see my life from Your perspective, God. To see myself as YOU see me.

Now, I do see as through a glass, darkly. But some day I shall know, even as I am known. I think that will be a bit of a shock.

Best I try now, here, to see myself as You See me. Seeing myself with Your Compassion — encouraging myself to get up and take another small step. Encouraging myself to see others, as You see them — with love, with appreciation, with interest.

Yes, God! Help me today to walk both in the Dark of Not Knowing — AND in the Light of What I Do Know. Ah, YES!

Posted in Help me to see, Light, Perspective, Uncategorized, walking at night

A Call to Bloom

Posted on January 12, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Flowers by the side of the road

Thank You, God, for the beauty of simple things. And thank You, too, for the joy of sharing. This is my AT HOME day but I had gone out briefly, and was leisurely driving home on a back road when I saw these flowers by the side of the road.

So lovely, with the early morning light shining through them. And, isn’t that what YOU want of us — that we let Your Light shine through us.

Hmmm. I suppose that means we are to be out in the Light? Not stuck away in some gloomy cave — brooding over the unfairness of life? Ah, You caught me! A definite whiff of a judgmental spirit there. Yes, appreciation of what is, can go hand in hand with a deep desire to reduce the brutality of so much of our world. You BLESS People and Groups who fight sexual slavery — inhumane working conditions — starvation — illiteracy — hunger — polluted water — all the conditions that keep our fellow humans from blooming.

ALL THE CONDITIONS THAT KEEP OUR FELLOW HUMANS FROM BLOOMING? That sentence has set off a churning deep inside me — bringing up a hint of tears — an angst too extensive for words. It is as if You have let me share a nanodrop of YOUR SORROW at all those things that keep us from blooming. And they are everywhere, aren’t they. A chorus teacher who tells an eager young girl DON’T SING! A discouraging word, even just a failure to notice . . .

Yet, YOU have the power and desire to restore us! You CAN and WILL take garbage and turn it into fertilizer! Take us and turn us into flowers!

You call to us LOOK! LOOK AROUND YOU! NOTICE PEOPLE! HEAR THEM! LOVE THEM! LOVE AND BLOOM!

Yes, YES! Help us to HOPE and to HEAR and to LOVE and to BLOOM. Please.

Posted in beauty, blooming, both / and, Help me to see, Hope as a gift from God, Light, Light shining through, simple joys of daily life

The Sea Turtle and me

Posted on January 11, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Sea Turtle

There is something very special about inter species contact. You know, God, on Friday while I was swimming off of Sans Souci a turtle — just about this big — appeared almost underneath me. BIG SURPRISE! But after I had recovered I followed her — at a respectful distance — captivated. Fish are nice, but sea turtles are more like us. Is that why they are so fascinating?

I watched for several minutes and much to my surprise she came up to the surface to breathe seven or eight times. Most of the turtles I have followed seem to breathe maybe every two or three minutes. (I “checked” that on google and they can go much longer on a single breath.) Anyway, I had the feeling that the turtle had just “awakened” and was replenishing her air supply. Seeing her head lifting briefly out of the water was enchanting. . . and evocative.

It made me think about the ways I might be like a sea turtle. Is prayer time — or meditation time — the equivalent of a breath of air? Are we, like turtles in two worlds? AT LEAST TWO. Your Kingdom. Your Spirit the very Breath of Life — yet, we only dimly realize our need to breathe. Hmmm. I swim / snorkle in the shallows. Near Shore. I am not a scuba diver — out in the deep — with the creatures of the deep. And that pretty well describes my visits into Your Kingdom.

Am I satisfied with that? Gosh, God. I don’t even swim when the jelly fish are out — in that period after the full moon. Timid! I am TIMID. Well, scared is a more accurate word. And the chances of my going scuba diving are small. But, yes, I would like to venture further into Your Kingdom. Make that a LITTLE further. But, As You wish, God. As You wish.

Posted in breathing in Your Spirit, interspecies contact, Venturing out of the shallows?