Another Sabbath Day — A Question of Trust

Posted on February 13, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Bromeliads at the top of the KCC cactus garden

Good Morning, God!

This photo was taken at dusk from above the KCC cactus garden. I had no idea they had bromeliads at the top. From the bottom all I could see were cacti. Looking down was a nice change of perspective.

Today is another Sabbath Day — a Gift from You to us — if only we will stop our busyness and open it.

Hmmm. Yes, make that MY Busyness. Too busy to receive GIFTS from YOUR HAND? It sounds really dumb, doesn’t it.

But the problem is — just like at the bottom of the cactus garden — I lack perspective. I can SEE what I am busy doing. It has meaning and purpose. But, God, Your Gifts are Invisible and take Time to appear. It isn’t like at the end of today I will see what gifts You have given me during the day.

You say that is is about TRUSTING YOU! And that it will get easier as I do it, but then, life isn’t about easy, is it. God, that is NOT a really good sales pitch!

Sorry, sorry, I forgot there for a minute. You are into Commands, not marketing. But, You get my point. It is really HARD to rest and relax and play and let the work stay undone. Well, now that I see that in print, I guess it isn’t that hard. I’m back to feeling foolish that I have made being productive so important.

Yes, for some unknown reason, YOU WANT (read: COMMAND) ME TO REST today. I shouldn’t be arguing with You or complaining. I should be ENJOYING! DUH! Please help me rest today, God.

Posted in Perspective, sabbath rest, seeing

Twilight on the Marina

Posted on February 12, 2011 by a moment with god — 3 Comments

Twilight on the Hawaii Kai Marina

Good Morning, God!

This photo was taken last week just after picking up prescriptions for my mom. It was a comfort just to stand there and appreciate the tranquility. There is something so peaceful about water, God.

Today, for the first time I felt my mom was really on the mend — she noticed my earrings and beat me at scrabble. It is a big relief, God, to have her doing better.

She keeps telling me that no one lasts forever — and I keep telling her that I am too young to be an orphan. Of course, I’m NOT “too young.” But, what I am saying is true in its essence. Are any of us ever “old enough” to lose our last parent, God?

I was going to say that it’s harder for me to think about losing my Mom because she is a GOOD MOTHER — loving and affirming — with only the occasional rebuke about my being “too busy.” But, perhaps, it is even harder for women who don’t have a happy relationship with their moms? Letting people go — into Your Hands, God — is never easy. But how much harder it must be if there has been no “resolution.”

It is a reminder to tell our loved ones — over and over again — how much we love them and how much they matter. Hmmm, You remind me to watch my Tone of Voice, too, lest Extraneous Frustrations pollute my words.

Ah, such serious thoughts, but easier to contemplate because my Mom is doing better. She is getting a vitamin D pill that she takes every two weeks. The doctor expects her to look and feel better when he sees her in March. Please, God, let it be so!

Posted in a prayer for healing, appreciation, LOVE

Egypt — Prayers for A New Beginning

Posted on February 11, 2011 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

A sunrise and new day in Egypt

Good Morning, God!

Hope now has a chance! Joy and Jubilation are filling the streets of Cairo! Please, God, pour out Your Blessings and Gifts on the People of Egypt!

Is it true that half the population of Egypt — and the Middle East — are under 30? These are children of Twitter and Facebook — and I hope it is the new face of the world.

Ah, God, NOW everyone is united AGAINST Mubarak — who has AT LAST stepped down and left. Now they are united in JOY! And, The World is rejoicing WITH them!

Except, perhaps the people OVER 30 who are aware of how messy change can be — aware of how diverse and rigid the various components of society can be. Aware of how FRAGIL democracy can be. I guess that would be a part of me, God.

But, mostly I am Jubilant that Change has come to Egypt — that Hope has come to Egypt — that a Chance for a better Future has come to Egypt.

So, this morning, God, my Heartfelt Prayer is for Mutual Respect among all Egyptians — for Jobs for the unemployed, especially university graduates — for cheaper food prices — for everyone to be working together on all the economic infrastructures that are so essential to our living together in peace and security.

Hmm. I guess that prayer is for All Countries, God, not just Egypt. We all NEED Your HELP!

Posted in a prayer for healing, Ongoing Transformation, Praise, Prayer, respect

The Heavens Declare the Glory of God

Posted on February 10, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Sunrise over Central Union Church

Good Morning, God!

You gave us a GLORIOUS sunrise to begin the day yesterday. Thank YOU. This morning it’s another hour before the sun rises but I just looked at photos of the Heavens taken by the Hubble Space Craft on my new StarWalk app.

Another amazing application that shows me what all is UP in the sky. I just held it up — looking East and it showed Mercury still below the horizon and Pluto and Venus up for maybe two hours and off to the Southeast. I’m going to take it on my walk this morning and admire You Creation — Your VAST Creation!

Do You think, God, that if we got to meet OTHERS (aliens, so to speak) that they might make our “differences” seem totally insignificant? Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we understood how just being fellow Human Beings was an incredible BOND?

Of course, projection being what it is, we would imagine that they wanted our planet for themselves. How sad. What I would hope for was a scene from the first Star Wars film of an intergalactic bar with assorted hominids and insect-type creatures casually drinking together — taking VAST differences for granted. Could it be, just maybe, that ALL SENTIENT BEINGS have an awful lot in common?

Ah my! I have wandered off a fair bit from a glorious sunrise — off into the vastness of space. Ah, God, what I want is for You to pour out Your Spirit of Compassion upon all of us — all Creatures, Great and Small. Please!

Posted in Focus on what unites us, intentional and invited sacred space, interspecies contact

Inner Healing and Clearing Clutter

Posted on February 9, 2011 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

A CLEAR and CLEAN dining room table

Good Morning, God!

Our dining room table is clear! For five weeks it was Heaped with PILES of papers and folders and “things to do” that I had carried down from my office. Every time I got close to those heaps and piles — I felt a revulsion! I couldn’t face them!

But, this Monday afternoon, I tipptoed back to a “Blacked Out” period in my early childhood –when I was maybe two years old. I let myself feel the Sorrow and Fear that was hidden there. I felt it and gently named it — out loud, to Mavis my therapist. That’s all I did. It doesn’t sound like much, does it?

But, it seemed to set something free. And it released a lot of energy, too. Because I came home and went right to the piles on the table and started to work! There was eagerness instead of revultion. I worked steadily for over two hours and then more after dinner — and I got up yesterday morning and finished it by noon! Even more amazing than my DOING IT, God, was my ENJOYING IT. Enjoying it? Enjoying doing that sorting and filing? That’s a Miracle, God! THANK YOU!

This whole THING feels more like a Transformation than a Healing. And, God, I confess that part of me thinks that this can’t last! Maybe it was just a temporary “gift” or reinforcement to reward me for going for help? Healing or Transformation — I am grateful!

And way down deep inside me — there is a “comforted” little child — singing softly. And she is grateful, too.

Posted in gratitude, healing, hearing myself, self care as self compassion and humility, thankfulness

Beaver Dams and Inner Healing

Posted on February 8, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

A Beaver Dam in Tierra Del Fuego

Good Morning, God!

Thank You for yesterday’s session with my therapist, Mavis.

I came home right afterwards and went through my Piles of Paper Stuff — Piles that I had dragged to the dining room table and left there for over a month. I sat there — happily sorting and filing and humming away — for over 2 hours.

It was as if a dam cracked deep inside me, God — letting out energy and apparently washing away any “refusal to file.” How Odd! How Surprising!

My Mind had created its very own Inner Beaver Dam — to keep memories that were too threatening — away. I wasn’t willing or maybe able to process them. The first “clue” for me that I HAD a Dam was the strength of my emotional reaction while listening to MindSight by Daniel Siegel. I had to stop listening. It was too painful. He was talking about how we need to create our own “narrative” for our life. And he was explaining the various ways children and parents attune themselves to one another.

I thought the pain was about my failures as mother. But, as I talked yesterday in the “security of Mavis’s presence” I was able to go back to my very young childhood — and finally noticed a gap in my early memories — a Blacked Out Period.

I still don’t “remember” but I did let myself FEEL the Deep Sorrow of that Time. Then I said, out loud, “there was fear there, too.” That was all the further I could go. But, it was far enough — far enough that I could feel Peace welling up. Peace and a sense of comfort.

Can it be that just that tiny breech in my Inner Dam could have released a flood that is washing away my paper clutter? Thank YOU, God for nudging me to go see Mavis.

Posted in a prayer for healing, A Spiritual Spring Cleaning, healing, hearing myself, Hearts, time, Transitions, Trusting God

Raindrops on a Pink Hibiscus

Posted on February 7, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Raindrops on a Pink Hibiscus

Good Morning, God!

Yesterday was The Sabbath Day — I took a friend to the airport, dropped off stuff at Arcadia, went to the 7:00 a.m. service and came home to have breakfast with Kit who had been out running in a race.

That was not, perhaps, the best start for The Sabbath, was it.

Why am I such a busy little bee? The answer FLASHED through my mind, God! I’m a Woman and I hear stuff crying out to be DONE. So, maybe you were just talking to men, God? Quite the contrary — who needs the COMMANDMENT MORE — men or women?

Sigh. Good Point, God. For a while I thought that I could get everything done ahead of time and then relax and enjoy the rest. But, now that I am stopping and pondering it, I can see it isn’t about Being Done. It is about my FOCUS. It is about taking my eye off of the Surrounding Stuff and focusing on the Encircling Cloud of Witnesses and pink hibiscus and Kit.

Do I hear You saying it might also be about my keeping my commitments to myself? Like taking CARE of MYSELF and not imagining that I can Leap Tall Buildings in a Single Bound — like Superman — or superwoman? You mean THAT? Like RESPECTING myself as if I were Someone Else?

The trouble is, God, that I KNOW that both YOU and I will forgive me! Forgiveness doesn’t mean there are no consequences. Oh. I am beginning to see, God, that this is Sabbath business is a FAR more serious matter than I want to realize. Please help me learn to rest, God!

Posted in rest, Rethinking, sabbath rest, sacred space, self care as self compassion and humility

From Neutrinos to Nebulae- and back to giant earthworms

Posted on February 6, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

The Ring Nebula

Good Morning, God!

Wow! Did I get a lesson in JUST how awesome You are!

Last night I viewed the Scale of the Universe. It is interactive and it starts with humans — in the center — and then the button can be moved left to see things getting smaller — down to Neutrinos. Moving the button to the right and things get larger — all the way up to nebulae and galaxies.

The art is simple, God. Yet the scale is Mind Blowing! I slid up, slowly, looking at the human size things I knew and the places I’d been. Then I moved more quickly — passing the sun and solar system — out to the reaches of our galaxy. I got all the way out to our Local Galactic Group before my mind snapped back.

Going smaller was even harder. Atoms and protons I had heard of. But I’d not heard of the Up and Down Quarks that comprise the proton. Then I learned that there are Preons — the building blocks of quarks. And Neutrinos so small they pass through matter undisturbed. How AWESOME, is Your Creation, God!

But, I have to tell on myself, God. The center point didn’t just have humans. It also mentioned Giant Earthworms up to 7 meters long! The first thing I did after viewing was to Google “giant earthworms.” BLUSH! Then I found a comment on that page saying they had just come from the Scale of the Universe site. I wasn’t alone in the mundane focus of my curiosity!

Ah, God, we ARE most interested in things that are our size — things that we can understand — or at least TRY to understand — and good on us for trying! Thank YOU, God for this World — and this Cosmos!

Posted in a matter of scale, our small blue dot, seeing

Merry-Go-Rounds and Choices

Posted on February 5, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

The Merry-Go-Round at the Punahou Carnival

Good Morning, God!

We, like half of Honolulu, made our way to the Punahou Carnival last night. It was fun, but my ears are still ringing.

The Carnival is Noise, Extreme Population Density — and Malasadas! I went off my normal eating pattern, yesterday and ate TWO malasadas HOT from the oil. Yum!

Or as one lady said — pointing to the malasada I was eating — THAT is the BEST of all of this!

Personal indulgences come in many forms, God, and most of them seem to leave “stuff” behind — over-crowed fat cells — over-crowded closets — over-crowded Visa bills. As Suz has tried so patiently to explain to me, “Mom, to you, EVERY DAY is SPECIAL, so you can’t use that as an excuse!”

Perhaps, God, I need to redefine “treats?” Explore and find a higher kind of “indulgence?” I am looking up at the Merry-Go-Round and thinking of how I love them. They are MY kind of ride. Joyous — not Thrilling. They are like a Temporary Entrance into an Amped Up Daily Life — cyclical with ups and downs — but all the time with Music and Lights.

Aaah, maybe it is just that I STOP and focus on the Ride! Surely, my daily Life is filled with Music and Lights and Friends Riding With Me!

Did You just remind me that Parallel Universes are not just Scientific Theory? That I have CHOICES — moment by moment — of billions of Parallel Universes? I can choose, can’t I.

Yes, God, You have put into my hands the Power to Choose — to choose what I focus my attention on — to choose how I spend or invest my Time and my Money. Please , God, help me REMEMBER I have CHOICES. Thank You!

Posted in choices, Choosing Meaning, Help me to see

Junk — in Orbit and in Our Hearts

Posted on February 4, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

10 million pieces of Space Junk orbiting Earth

Good Morning, God!

I must say, 10 million pieces of space junk orbiting Earth does seem like a lot. Whatever the number — the junk is extensive enough, now, so that it could disrupt valuable satellites and services.

Year by year, God, stuff builds up! Junk is HARD to get rid of, in Space, in our Homes, and in our Hearts.

As for the Junk in Space — Japan has a Plan. They are putting a wire net up in orbit to catch debris. They are partnering with Nitto Seimo, the company that created knotless fishing nets in 1925. The article in SpaceMart says that “The space net would consist of three layered metal threads, each measuring 1mm diameter (0.03 inch) and intertwined with fibers as thin as human hair.” The net would be about a mile long and the idea is that “as it collects debris the net would become electrically charged and be attracted back to earth by the planet’s magnetic field, causing the net and its contents to safely burn up in the atmosphere.”

It sounds so easy and cleaver, God. But, I confess, just as lost fishing nets entangle ocean creatures, I worry about “lost space nets” doing more damage than the junk they are intended to capture. Unintended consequences proliferate even faster than junk.

And, God, that leads me back to the Invisible Emotional Junk orbiting our Hearts. I was talking with a friend yesterday morning about the difficulties of processing grief. Traumas, Fears, Sorrows all wait — wait years — for us to face them and begin to process them. And, worse even than Space Junk, that Emotional Junk disrupts communication and services. Maybe, God, we need Prayer Nets?

Posted in a prayer for healing, A Spiritual Spring Cleaning, emotional litter