When to Affirm and When to Laugh

Posted on April 5, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Over-the-Top BLING! A smart car covered in Swarovski crystals

Good Morning, God!

I’ve been thinking about affirming PEOPLE — as opposed to affirming THINGS. I’m not sure I’ve made this distinction before. But, it is beginning to seem very important.

I’ve been conditioned to be polite and admire stuff. A friend buys a new dress and I tend to find something to admire or affirm. And since I don’t hang out with folks that buy flashy cars or boats I haven’t had to “draw-a-line.” But, if I had a friend rich enough to buy this car-covered-in-crystals, God, would I be able to LAUGH at them? I hope so!

This incredible acceleration of bigger houses and longer yachts deserves to be held up to social ridicule! What are people thinking, God? Do they think that stuff will give them anything more than a momentary “HIT?”

Of course, we are free, God, free to spend our money anyway we want. But, as I think of a person spending THIS much money to say LOOK AT ME — I feel really sad for the person. Such a poverty of imagination, God! Or maybe, as Dr. Arch Hart has pointed out, when a person is TOO BUSY for TOO LONG they have built a wall around their pleasure center. Small ordinary pleasures can’t get over the wall. It takes something spectacular. That person is STARVED for JOY!

It makes me think of what Mother Teresa said: “If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.” Please help us, God, to remember and experience the joys of belonging to each other.

Posted in Belonging to each other, Meaning, simple joys of daily life

Affirmations and Relational Seas of Respect

Posted on April 4, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

90% of an iceberg is underwater -- and not seen

Good Morning, God!

Icebergs? Did You wake me up, God to talk about ICEBERGS?

It feels as if You woke me up to have me see — just how FAR from what I “intend” — my words and deeds may extend. Yes, as in an iceberg!

So, I’m thinking — if the TIP of the iceberg is my verbal output — then there is 90% that I don’t see or hear . That would be my tone of voice, my facial expressions, my body’s stance and gestures. In this aerial photo of an iceberg I can see that the iceberg doesn’t just extend down — it extends OUT to the sides. Beware to passing ships — or people!

And that takes me back to Watzlawick’s Communication Axiom #2: Every communication has a content aspect and a relationship aspect such that the latter classifies the former and is therefore a meta-communication.” Put more simply, the RELATIONSHIP we have with someone will “determine” how we understand the CONTENT of what is said or done.

Or, God, to continue on with the metaphor — the iceberg is my CONTENT but it floats in a sea of RELATIONSHIPS. Hmm. So, God, maybe MORE BASIC than my desire to AFFIRM is the question of what sort of sea does my iceberg float in? A SEA of RESPECT? Or a Sea of Judgement?

Does that mean that my desire to affirm those around me must BEGIN with my entering into an “Assumption of Respect” Relationship toward them? Hmmm. I need Your Help, God!

Posted in Affirmations, Communication, LOVE, respect

There is no Non-Communication

Posted on April 3, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Jogging around Kapiolani Park

Good Morning, God!

Almost every Friday I jog around Kapiolani Park with a friend. And because we are busy talking I don’t notice other joggers. But, yesterday, as I was out jogging at home I made it a point to wave, nod or say Good Morning to everyone I passed.

That’s is when it hit me that I was affirming them. Kit is fabulous at doing this — and he has been gently encouraging me to do the same thing.

Yesterday, I was doing my second blog for the day and wanted to quote Paul Watzlawick and needed to spell his name right. I read him decades ago. In checking I stumbled on his FIVE AXIOMS and put that link in my blog. Then, later, I went back and reread the axioms.

Axiom 1 is Cannot not. “One cannot not communicate.” Because every behaviour is a kind of communication, people who are aware of each other are constantly communicating. Any perceivable behaviour, including the absence of action, has the potential to be interpreted by other people as having some meaning.”

That axiom seems to extend into all parts of life. It certainly put a new light on my behavior — or lack of it — while passing joggers. If I don’t “notice” the person I am passing — I am not “not communicating”. The absence of an acknowledgement MIGHT not be noticed. Or it MIGHT be seen as a sign of indifference or even disrespect. Oh DEAR!

Actually, God, I am not really so concerned about my fellow joggers, as about my family and friends. Silence isn’t always golden, is it God? Hmm. How far, God, does our communication ripple?

Posted in Affirmation, Communication, complexity, Silence

Just a few more thoughts on Affirmations

Posted on April 2, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

a closer look at the Banyan Tree

Good Afternoon, God!

As I was out jogging — for the AFAC Team in Swaziland — it came to me that: 1) we can affirm people without knowing them 2) it only takes a nod or smile or wave 3) affirming people is YOUR BUSINESS, God.

Hmm. That last point really calls out from amplification, but not now. What I mean is that Connecting With You is to lead us naturally into connecting (affirming?) with others.

Oh! To let YOUR LOVE flow through me. To be unable to contain it! Please, God, help me — even on runs — to nod, smile, wave and say Hello!

And now to go down and AFFIRM Kit! Ah, to begin in my dear FAMILY!

Posted in Uncategorized

Going on an Affirmation Feast?

Posted on April 2, 2011 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

Leaves of a Banyan Tree in Kapiolani Park

Good Morning, God!

Yesterday I was chatting with a dear friend about her upcoming Daniel Fast — named after Daniel in the Old Testament who didn’t eat the King’s food. He ate beans and grains and vegetables and drank water. He and his friends ended up healthier than those eating the King’s food.

I thought about this, God and I felt “convicted” about my food. I want to do better — but, alas, like most of us — not quite yet.

Then as I was chatting about the diet it came to me that Jesus said that it isn’t what goes INTO a man’s mouth that makes him “unclean” but what comes OUT of a man’s mouth!

Hmm. It came to me that I could go on an AFFIRMATION FEAST. Of course, it could be called a fast from negative comments. But, it sounds a LOT more appealing to me when I call it a FEAST!

Somehow, God, we humans think that criticizing is the best way to help. But, my experience is that criticism makes us defensive and combative. How much better to affirm a person’s strengths — in fact, how much better just to AFFIRM those around us. And, just as these beautiful leaves were there in the Banyan tree — strengths and beauty ARE there in those around us.

Affirming a person’s existence can start with something as simple as using his name. Again, I think back to Paul Watzlawick’s wonderful quote: The Primary Purpose of Human Communication is to Confirm Our Existence as Human Beings.” Affirmed individuals seem to me, God, to be better able to BEHAVE better. Please help me, God, to go on an “Affirmation Feast.”

Posted in being together in a compassionate presence, changing who I want to become, Communication, food questions

Choosing to SEE — just for a moment

Posted on April 1, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Polar Bears and our mutual future

Good Morning, God!

I stumbled on a set of videos on the Big Melt — referring to the Polar Ice Field. And it made me sad, God. I really like this world just the way it is right now. It might have been better earlier, but I would gladly settle for keeping the status quo.

Only, it sure doesn’t look as if that is going to happen. The poles are melting and that means less reflective white ice and that will cause the melting to accelerate still faster. It is a positive feedback loop with disastrous changes for the polar bears. And, probably us, too.

But, then I remember that 7,000 years ago there was the Red Ocher Culture centered around the Arctic Circle. Hmm. I think I have that right. The world changes. Our current world will give way to future worlds. And, I am trying to put this all in Your Hands, God.

Actually, God, this is really all I can do — put my concerns in Your Loving Hands. It is tempting to think that we might gather ourselves together and make some voluntary radical changes in our energy production and usage. But, I don’t think that will happen. Too many people still point to a cold winter and say What Global Warming?

Ah my. And the forces of business grind on — the forces of “Business as Usual” being pretty powerful in my life, too, God. Sigh. And as I reread what I have written here, God, I can really understand the “usefulness” of Willful Blindness for us humans. Please, God, Help me Focus on what I can do — then help me to do it.

Posted in a matter of scale, our small blue dot, seeing

A Completely Marvelous Day!

Posted on March 31, 2011 by a moment with god — 2 Comments

A birthday breakfast

Good Morning, God!

I don’t know when I have enjoyed a birthday more than I did yesterday! It was just a completely marvelous day! Thank You!

A few years ago, God, I might not have thought to thank You for things like wonderful days. It feels GOOD to thank You! It feels RIGHT to thank You.

The act of saying Thank You seems somehow to make more room inside me for You to “hold on to.”

It makes me think of the children’s spinning top, the dreidel. I was playing with one a few years ago and thought “Wow! if this had six sides, instead of four, it would be a great visual representation of our week.”

Each side would be one of the working days. And the pole that comes up the top would be the Sabbath Day. The one that You use, God, to pick us (the top) up and give us a “spin.” I loved the image then, God, and I still love it! Our week is designed to pivot and spin on the point or base of the Sabbath. And the pole is “set apart” so You can get a good grip on us.

All of this is very practical, God. Because I NEED for You to have a good grip on me. I’m almost through listening to Willful Blindness and I have become PAINFULLY AWARE of how HARD it is to make “good” choices when we are part of a group. Because it is so important to us to be a loyal group member.

So, please God, help me make MORE room for You in my heart and in my life.

Posted in gratitude, Hearing, Sabbath as PLAY, sabbath rest, seeing, thankfulness

Thankfulness and Two Birthday Wishes

Posted on March 30, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Bird of Paradise seen unexpectedly on a jog

Good Morning, God!

Wheee! Today is my birthday and I am SO THANKFUL! I am blessed — and I know it. And I would count the ways, God, but then I would be sitting here all day!

I’m thankful that I did go jogging yesterday — with stops for photos. My first jog in a few days.

So much beauty, God, so much beauty. And how good it is for my spirit to pause and appreciate it. Beauty is healing in some strange way. Beauty in the physical world and beauty in the smiles of family and friends. Again, God, I am VERY THANKFUL!

But, God, I confess, I have TWO BIRTHDAY WISHES. The first one is for folks who enjoy praying. Please pray for Heidi Lum and her young son, Noah, who are off to Swaziland to review and encourage our (Advocates for Africa’s Children) partners and projects. What we are doing is ground breaking and important and needs prayer.

The Second Wish, God, is that People will watch this marvelous video of Dr. David Servan-Schreiber talking about what we can do to turn back cancer. We DO have the power to do that, God. We CAN help ourselves. And the BEST time to do it is NOW. I would so much rather have family, friends and “unmet friends” watch this video and commit to taking better care of themselves than receive leis or cards or nice stuff like that. Of course, I love cards!

But, I LOVE PEOPLE so much more! And I LONG for us all to TAKE CARE of ourselves. So please, God, help people WATCH this video.

Posted in gratitude, Growth Opportunities, healing, health, Helpful Hards, Prayer, thankfulness

Making Changes to Live Better and Live Longer

Posted on March 29, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Dr. David Servan-Schreiber

Good Morning, God!

It seems to take a while for things to soak in to my brain. A wise friend has been sending me LOTS of information about Dr. David Servan-Schreiber and his book Anti-cancer: A New Way of Life.

And I thought, RIGHT, more about eating broccoli. But, I watched him in a brief YouTube presentation and he’s really GOT IT! I bet Being French helped him. The French are still mostly eating real food so it wasn’t totally unfamiliar to him.

It isn’t so much that I didn’t KNOW that sugar and white flour feeds cancer. Not that I didn’t know that the changes in fats since the 1940’s (especially transfats) were BAD for us. And I knew that the industrialization of the meat and dairy industries has switched the fast fat (omega 3) that comes from cows eating GRASS to the slow fat (omega 6) that happens when you feed them grains.

But, those factoids were scattered about in my brain, God. They never seemed to gather together for a “Critical Mass” that would get this Little Lemming pointed away from the sea.

What to do is clear. ONE: Eat lots of vegetables, no packaged foods, no oils except olive oil, and only grass-fed meat and grass-fed dairy. TWO: exercise for 30 minutes six times a week. THREE: build relaxation/contemplation into all of life. FOUR: avoid pollution and contaminants.

We are talking SLOW HARD CHANGES. God! True, I don’t need to do it all immediately. I can work toward it. I can ask Kit to help, friends to help, and YOU to help.

Posted in Changing, Cherishing our Bodies, choosing HARD, Heal Us Now, health

Entering Slowly into a New Week

Posted on March 28, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

leaving church at Central Union

Good Morning, God!

Yesterday was a lovely Sabbath. I slept in, went to church, had a bite to eat and napped. Ahaaa, wonderful.

Then, a little grocery shopping, a walk and games with my mom, and dinner at home with guests. All without rushing. All at a slow pace. In fact, even our “crockpot” dinner was going slow.

I prayed too, God — lifting up friends — and people I know. Hmm. I don’t think I prayed for world leaders and corporate heads. I should have. Can we make that retroactive, God?

We all need help, but people in positions of power need MORE help. It is just so easy for people in power “not to know”. It doesn’t even require “Willful Blindness!” Although, I dare say there is a bit of that, too!

Speaking of that book, I’m almost done. It has been hard, God, learning how easy we all find it to fit in and to conform. How easy it is to let money influence us. How easy it is to tell ourselves that if we don’t do it someone else will.

In short, God, we really want to explain away the Sermon on the Mount. But, Jesus wasn’t kidding. He meant it. And if I think keeping the Sabbath is hard what about selling all I have and giving it to the poor? Yikes!

Ah, but being rested gives me a much better shot at hearing You, God, and sometimes even responding. That’s an encouraging thought. But, O God. I’m afraid I am going Very Slowly.

Posted in sabbath rest, seeing myself as a sheep, self care as self compassion and humility