Rejoicing AND Weeping AND Piloting

Posted on June 14, 2014 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

Hang Glider over Waimanalo

Good Night, God!

I feel Between!

This hang glider is between the land he left behind and the land he will arrive at after his trip. I feel like that too.

I’m between years of purposeful work and an indeterminant Future. I loved my work and at first I loved retirement. But I turned 75 in March and Kit is turning 80 in July and so our future is not looking so infinite here on Planet Earth.

As this hang glider knows, transitions can be exhilarating but landings — like Life — can be tricky.

So, I was focusing on the glorious sky — rejoicing in the floating. I closed my eyes to the rocks and ocean waves below me as best I could and all Spring I focused on our trip to Boston for my wonderful husband, Kit, to run the Marathon.

Then, a few weeks after our return home I noticed my body began to complain — rashes, infections, and visits to various doctors. And now a pain in my right buttock. PAIN? I very rarely even hurt so I knew my Body was trying to “Tell me Something”, but WHAT?

Fortunately, I was able to visit my spiritual director and she helped me hear my Heart. It seems that my Body talks for my Heart. I heard myself talk and talk and talk. I heard myself say how I dislike Self Pity (aka Compassion) — and how I have locked up the Part that Weeps.

Oh Foolish, Foolish me!

Those are two very helpful tools in dealing with the reality of possible Rocky Landings and difficulties in Life. I am to Acknowledge them! Feel them! So, with help from my Body and my Heart my Mind is now working on piloting our course. Responsibly caring for myself isn’t easy. My Body had to insist — and keep insisting. But, she loves me too much to be silent.

Thank You, God, for my Body and my Heart.