Good Morning, God!
I came into my office to pick up stuff and bring some order into it. But, then it came to me that my Mind would like a bit of tidying. Having just come back from a conference on The Evolution of Psychotherapy my mind is fuller than usual.
One of the talks was by Dr. Amen who is a researcher on brain function who uses SPECT images of the blood flow in the brain. His point to the audience was LOOK at what you are working with! An orthopedic surgeon wouldn’t operate with out x-rays. Why prescribe for depressed patients when they can have identical symptoms BUT totally different brain scan images?
I was quite stirred and thought YES! How sensible to LOOK at all the information available. But, the applause was light and clearly the cost of a SPECT image ($1,500?) meant that no one there was likely to refer patients for a brain scan. I shouldn’t have been surprised for he himself said he has been roundly attacked as a quack.
Sigh, I was feeling judgmental — until I realized that I don’t LOOK at myself — hardly at all. Here I am, trying to “grow up” — trying to find and integrate unused parts of myself — without looking.
So finding this early photo of me stirred a Deep Inner Part of myself. How wonderful to actually SEE myself. To see myself before I was swirled out into the Outside Sea of Others — others outside of my safe and loving extended family.
Ah, but as I write, God, I remember one important caveat. It is essential that I look at myself through Your Eyes of Love and Forgiveness! Looking back over my mistakes and missed opportunities I need Your Love and Compassion.
Looking without Your Love invites hopelessness. And HOPE is essential!