Saying Goodbye to 2012 and Releasing My Past

Sunset on my mom's 98th birthday

Sunset on my mom’s 98th birthday

Good Evening, God!

Aaaah, today I got a loving compliment from Suzanne, our Oldest Daughter! I’m an Oldest Daughter, myself, so I know how high our standards can be. The compliment was about how well I  had done in maturing over the last 30 years. That isn’t exactly what she said, God. But, that’s the idea.

As I sat there with her at the airport, processing the compliment, I realized that I have a lot of guilt/grief/regret to let go of. (I think I am holding in my belly fat — and I really want to let go of that.)

So, instead of focusing on the New Year with resolutions to DO BETTER and to BE BETTER — I am sitting here and RELEASING all my failures and mistakes of the last several decades. RELEASING! Such a lovely word, God! Putting all my STUFF in Your Lap and then climbing up into Your Lap, myself.

I am still a Very Small Child in Your scheme of things. And it is good to sit Silently and Peacefully in that awareness. Gosh, God! I need to keep on opening myself to that awareness.

It’s funny, God. Releasing feels like a better word than forgiving. It is like I am pouring out a Lifetime of Totally Unrealistic Expectations. Gosh, God. It takes an awful lot of energy to push my past away and repress all the times I missed opportunities to change . . . to ask for help . . . to grow.

Releasing is very much an ongoing process, isn’t it, God? I can’t do it without Your Enveloping Love! You love me as I am —  and as I was — and as I am becoming. And You love each one of us that very same way. Smile! Here is to a New Year FULL OF LOVE!

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Story teller,

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Posted in a New Year, lap time, letting the Holy Spirit flow through us, LOVE

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