Home — And the Process of Reassembling Myself

Flying over New Jersey -- looking at Manhattan

Good Morning, God!

HOME! Home, sitting in my own dear loft office, and realizing that I am not QUITE ALL Home.

I feel, God, as if I have left “parts” of me strewn — not just around New England — but comet-like from Newark to Honolulu. Parts scattered as we flew — and I am aware that I need Time to Completely Reassemble myself.

Hmm. I LIKE that image, God! It explains without judging. Explanations are so helpful. And that makes me think of a former colleague who would say from time to time — “Never Apologize, never Explain.”

The World often seems to operate on that saying. But, God, I cannot imagine how any healthy marriage could survive that way!

We humans need both Apologies AND Explanations. Hmm. Explanations are tricky, God, because often we don’t HAVE an explanation for our own behavior — let alone someone else’s. Explanations are dependent on understanding. And there is just SO MUCH to understand!

On this trip I expended a fair bit of emotional energy — read: anger — whenever Kit-the-Driver ignored my navigational directions. Finally, I remembered how at the Library, people had to come to a FULL STOP in order to READ the Large Signs. Our “Walking Around” app could not be run at the same time as the “Reading” app.  Of course, our “Driving Around” app probably consumes even more brain space than our “Walking Around” app.

Understanding the difficulty of running two big apps at the same same — having an explanation — was like pouring oil on my emotional gears. Please, God — help me keep on seeking Understanding!

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Story teller,

Posted in being together in a compassionate presence, Rethinking, Understanding

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