Good Morning, God!
Several days ago Suzanne drove up to Granada Hills and she sent me this photo taken with her cell phone.
The photo looks like a lovely muted pastel painting. Suz called me to tell me that the grapefruit tree she had bought and Kit had planted for her might still be there, after all!
Suz and I had driven up to Granda Hills last summer — on the hottest day ever. We had walked around and reminisced about our three years there. Suz had peaked into our old side yard and was sure that “her” tree had been taken down. That was the only dark spot on a very bright day, God.
When she drove up a few days ago it was on one of the coldest days Los Angeles had ever recorded. Suz was thrilled at the beautiful fresh green of the hill behind our home. I was so glad she had called and let me be there with her — albeit only virtually. Those three years were very happy times for her and even now, God, my heart hurts a bit about taking her away and moving us all to Hawaii.
What might have been if we had stayed? That is the kind of question that I do not, in general, allow myself to ask. But, I am learning that all my pasts and all my futures are held in Your Hands, God. I can ask whatever I want. I am safe enough now to go back into my past and look around. Or is the word secure?
It seems to me, God, to take an inordinate amount of Time to grow into fully loving ourselves. Thank You for giving me time.