Letting go of Work — Re-embracing the World

Posted on July 30, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Looking back at Waikiki

Good Morning, God!

Yesterday was my first time back in the water since I left on my first trip back in April. Three months ago? Really, God?

But, You are Right. I’ve been busy. Who knew that “Letting Go” took so much energy — and was so painful? Choosing to retire from my job as “library consultant” did feel like a loss of my identity.

I’m shaking my head now, God. Wondering just HOW I could have gotten so mixed up about who I really am. How could I have taken my Work Role as my primary identity?

Still, it makes me very sympathetic for people who retire as CEOs and Presidents. People with big jobs must find the “letting go” incredibly difficult. Jimmy Carter is the only one I can think of who entered into a More Meaningful Life.

Hmmm. More Meaningful . . . that feels “off track” God. We are all meaningful in ways large and small. And as Madeleine L’Engle pointed out in her book a Wind in the Door, size doesn’t matter. It really doesn’t. So much for being Number One — The Biggest — The Best. Foolishness! A Virus of the Heart that has infected us all.

Sigh. We are so easily deluded, Please, God, Open our eyes. Expand our Hearts. Help us to Care and Share. And, yes, God, make sure that I see myself as NEEDING care. Humble me so that I may Receive — help and advice from my family and friends! Oh, yes, You TOO!

Tagged with: humility, identity, retiring, Waikiki, working
Posted in humility, Humility or Needing Help!

A Lovely Day — but Missing Any Limits

Posted on July 29, 2011 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

Sitting outside the Blu Water Grill in Hawaii Kai at 8 a.m.

Good Morning, God!

Yesterday was a lovely day . . . a very social day with breakfast, lunch and dinner out with friends.It was a mostly “going slow” day.

Kit meanwhile was serving dinner to the homeless with the CUC music committee. Hmmm. Probably, God, enough said.

Yesterday a friend shared how she loved looking up at the Nuuanu Valley every morning. No two mornings are the same with varying combinations of mist, clouds and sunlight.

I feel the same way about our Marina that my friend does about the Nuuanu Valley. Each vantage point has its own beauty. There is just something marvelous about water, God. We humans resonate to water — building too close to rivers and oceans for total safety — irresistibly drawn to it.

Hmmm. The phrase “irresistibly drawn to it” has caught my ear, God. For I am irresistibly drawn back to my “normal” activities –– to “commitments” — to my “regular life.” Yes, God, Sandy was right when she told me on Sunday, “CANCEL YOUR WHOLE WEEK.” I knew she was “right,” as far as my body went. The bug I got right after returning from a third Mainland trip might not have been pneumonia but it has had the same effect. And I know — yes, KNOW– that REST is what bodies need to heal.

Oh, but yesterday was such a lovely day. So I find myself continuing to go right up to the “edge” of my physical limits. But, this morning my Body has made it clear that it is going to keep on giving me the “message” until I learn and CHANGE. I feel like a horse being “trained” to the bit and bridle — a very Headstrong Horse! I shall go and Sit in Silence and Stillness for 20 minutes.

Posted in a hand up, appreciation, Centering Prayer, living within limits, social support networks, water and love

My Need for Meaning — and how to Invest my Time

Posted on July 28, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

The Upside of Irrationality: The Unexpected Benefits of Defying Logic at Work and at Home

Good Morning, God!

I got up to make a note to myself about this book — but then I saw that my “How To” handout for tomorrow’s meeting wasn’t done. I confess, God, I spent 30+ minutes finishing it. Work is addictive. Projects cry out to be finished.

Now, God, I am going back to bed — ignoring the other tasks whimpering for attention.

It’s morning and I’m back, God, very aware that it’s a good thing that I am retiring from my “library consulting” jobs. One is about done — just another handout to go. The other one still has 3 or 4 more training handouts and meetings to go.

But my middle of the night “work craving” makes the point that I was so taken with in Dan Ariely’s book. He says that all the creatures they have tested prefer to work for their food — all but “the commendably rational cat.” He talks in the book about his parrot who prefers to “earn” her food through mastering a “SeekaTreat.” That device and other challenging toys “provided her with a more meaningful way to earn her food and spend her time.”

Ah, my. The parrot and I have the same needs, don’t we, God. The need for meaningful and challenging activities. Perhaps, that is why there are so many volunteers in America, God? Or so many young people playing computer games? Meaning and challenge are powerful motivators.

Hmmm. Meaning, Challenge and Belonging. That last one — the need to belong — is maybe even the most powerful of all. Please, God, enlarge our sense of belonging. Let us focus on caring for one another. Caring for our fellow creatures, large and small. And, not least, God, caring for ourselves.

Tagged with: "work is addictive", our need for meaning, the need to finish, The Upside of Irrationality
Posted in Compassion, compassion to care for myself, Meaning, meaningful work, time, web of life, Work

Being Happy with What we Have — a Life Enhancer

Posted on July 27, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Phal Yu Pin Sweetie -- at least that's what the tag says

Good Morning, God!

I splurged on an orchid this Saturday — just before I went into the Farmers’ Market. Earlier a friend had told me that she has to get there really early to get orchids with more than one stalk. So I chatted with the sales people and discovered they set up around 5:30 a.m. Ouch! That’s early!

My response was to laugh, look at my beautiful orchid and say “That’s OK. I’m really happy with what I have!” One of the women working there heard what I said and repeated it with relish! We agreed that “being happy with what we have” is a great Life Enhancer — an attitudinal MSG!

Hmmm. The thought just came to me, God, that being able to be “happy enough to give part of what we have away” is an even better Life Enhancer. Giving everything away is several large jumps away from where I am. But, I am quite certain that You designed us to enjoy giving and sharing. I guess that is why when money goes to “takers” — people who take advantage of our desire to help — we are so upset. In Advocates for Africa’s Children we learned to help those who were already helping others. Helping the Helpers feels really good, God.

This fall our church is going to be doing a “World Ark” fund raiser with Heifer International. Heifer provides needy people with animals, along with training on how to care for the animals. Each recipient in turn shares the offspring of their animal with their neighbors. I really like the idea of giving children a chance to help others — a chance to experience the joy of giving. You are RIGHT, God! It really is more blessed to give than to receive!

Tagged with: Advocates for Africa's Children, charity, contentment, gratitude, Heifer International, life enhancers
Posted in Giving, gratitude

It is NEVER too late to apologize

Posted on July 26, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

A mountain sheep? Shot by a friend of mine.

Good Morning, God!

I had considered using this photo whilst pondering apologies. It would have made the point that sometimes it is just too late to apologize.

Only, I know it is NEVER to late to apologize! I’m thinking of our friend, Chuck and a “ghost” who waited 50 years for an “apology.” The story, Memories, is still up on my website.

The short version is that Chuck started having nightmare as the 50th anniversary of D-Day approached. Every night a white “ghost” loomed over the foot of his bed. Finally his wife got him to go to the doctor, and after ruling out physical reasons he went to see a psychologist.

It turned out the “ghost” was the “memory” of a German soldier in a white winter camouflage uniform. During the Battle of the Bulge, Chuck was in a foxhole when he heard the soldier’s boots crunching on snow. Chuck looked up and, reflexively, shot him. Chuck, in the incident, was wounded and shipped off to a hospital, forgetting all about it — consciously.

But the ghost was lodged deep in Chuck’s memories. Now that Chuck knew who the ghost was, the question was, WHAT TO DO? Working with the psychologist, Chuck decided to write the soldier a “letter of apology” saying that he was sorry they had met the way they did — and sorry that he had killed him. He took the letter to the grill at a public park and set it on fire. The smoke carried the message up and away. And the ghost never returned.

I suppose, God, that really makes the point that apologies benefit those who give them as much as those who receive them.

Posted in Apologies, asking for and accepting forgiveness, Forgiving

The importance of apologies

Posted on July 25, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

up close with an oleana

Good Morning, God!

Kit and I were chatting yesterday about the power of apologies. He was saying that he is surprised at how many times someone in retailing fails to apologize when the situation clearly calls for it. Of course, we know that they personally are not responsible. But, an apology is an acknowledgment that you have been heard.

One of the things I’ve noticed with T-Mobile is how quick there are to say “I’m sorry you’ve had that trouble.” I dare say, God, that is training more than “feelings,” but I like it. I told Kit that even a rote apology will lower my level of “steam.”

Kit and I are not alone. Studies show that doctors who accept responsibility and go to the patient and his family to apologize are rarely sued. Still, in the face of such facts, lawyers will still counsel silence. Odd.

Hmmm. Apologies seem like a bare minimum response. Twelve-step programs talk about “making amends.” I just read a great article on how to actually do that. But, I was thinking more about how to go about “making amends” with You, God.

I sat in silence, God, pondering this . . . paradox. I feel loved and valued as I am — but I also feel a call to change, stretch and grow . . . embracing the future. And, it is quite clear the You don’t mean I should be doing more. In fact, I am inching my way toward an appreciation of the Hidden Inner Work that You do when we Rest. Thank You!

Posted in Apologies, becoming the change I wish to see, being a Slow Learner, Changing

Opposable Thumbs and Opposable Virtues

Posted on July 24, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

There are cats with opposable thumbs!

Good Morning, God!

Polydactyl cats? Amazing, God! Who knew that some cats are polydactyl) — that is, have “opposable thumbs!” I thought only humans had opposable thumbs. By “thumb” I mean a digit that can meet another digit — pad to pad — enabling gripping and grasping and other useful functions.

Apparently a genetic change occurred giving some cats an extra thumb-like digit, making them better at climbing and hunting. They thus became considered “good luck” by sailing captains. And this special ability was spread from port to port.

I was thinking about opposable thumbs, God, because I was thinking about Opposable Virtues.

You tell us to Speak the Truth in Love. To me that is clearly a case of delicately balancing two Opposable Virtues. For example, a dear friend “confessed” to me that she was incredibly “sensitive” to perfume. As I was wearing perfume at the time, I stopped wearing perfume.. She spoke “truth” about herself in a loving way to me. But, all too often, God, “Truth” is used as a hammer — to FORCE change. The nuanced bringing together of truth and love — acting in concert — allows us to “lift” problems to a higher level.

This has caused me to see in Virtues the need for a Pairing of Opposites. Just as with the cats with opposable thumbs, when we judiciously employ both virtues TOGETHER — we can better grasp problems.

Now, God, all we humans can use our Thumbs. We can bring our thumb and fingers together and pick up eggs. We’d laugh at someone who pushed too hard with her thumb and put it through the egg. But it seems to me, God, that ALL of us humans have a very hard time employing opposable virtues.

Perhaps, God, it might help us — including me — to speak the Truth in Love if we embrace this concept of Opposable Virtues.

Posted in Balancing and adjustments, confession, the difficulty of doing Both And

Words of Wisdom from Kit

Posted on July 23, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

The Marina from the Blu Water Grill

Good Morning, God!

When Kit was asked by a dear friend if he had any Words of Wisdom he instantly replied: Marry Well!

Needless to say, I was pleased to hear him say that, God. But, I was also profoundly impressed. Kit’s RIGHT. Marrying well does more for the quality of our lives than almost anything else.

The old definition of “marrying well” used to mean marrying for money, power or status — preferably all three. One has only to watch the news to see that is still many people’s definition. I find that sad, God.

Looking at this photo of the marina I’m reminded of Dr. Hart’s talking about a good marriage as a Safe Haven — a Safe Harbor where we find protection from the buffeting of the Wind and Waves of Life. Not a “Dry Dock” where we are overhauled and renovated.

Not, God, that we don’t all need to improve — but that is far different from “being improved.” That reminds me, God, that I did — FINALLY — become punctual. But only AFTER Kit had given up trying to “help” me become punctual. Hmmm.

We both have changed over the years. Harbors need dredging and breakfronts need repairing. Being loved and valued by YOU, God, makes it easier to love and value each other — and ourselves. And, of course, Harbors do have dry docks — because self care and repair are also essential to living well.

Going back to Kit’s wise words — Marry Well –that’s hard to do, isn’t it God. Because, a good marriage requires a Good Man. It makes me think of what I have often said — It is better to be Lucky, than Smart.

Posted in attunement, clear waterways, LOVE, Maintenance

Mr. Wonderful’s Birthday

Posted on July 22, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Kit indulging me in a Moon Rise dinner

Good Morning, God!

First — I want to ask You for a BLESSING on Kit on his birthday, today. No. 77. Actually, I asked You last night . . . I’m just “reminding” You now.

Yes, God, I know that You don’t need reminding and were surely intending to bless Kit — even without my asking. But, it feels good to ask for blessings (Your Gifts and Favors) for our loved ones! And it is so easy to ask that for Kit!

Hmmm. St. Paul told us to Bless, Bless and do not curse! (Romans 12:14) One might wonder how “not cursing” got in there until you realize that the first half of that verse is BLESS THOSE WHO PERSECUTE YOU. Oh! We are not just to refrain from cursing — we are to go much further and BLESS.

Sigh. I’ve been working on that, God. Not that anyone has been persecuting me personally. Still, there are plenty of people stirring up fear and anger and hatred. And I consider that to be persecuting (or polluting) our wider community. Sandy feels the same — so I call her and we pray for such folks to be filled with Your Peace and Love — to be Healed and made Whole.

I remember Marge Terpstra praying for people to be surrounded by Your Light. Marge was a marvelous role model. And when it comes to BLESSING folks who upset us – we NEED a good role model.

Better yet, God, we need someone to call us up and pray with us — to pray with us FOR people. Maybe I should enlist Kit more. Ah, God, what a World this would be if we seriously began to BLESS and PRAY FOR our “enemies” and those we feel are “wrong.”

Posted in a prayer for healing, Blessing, choosing HARD, Choosing to respond

The Heavens Declare the Glory of God

Posted on July 21, 2011 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Sunset over Sans Souci Beach: Photo by Lois Bruce

Good Morning, God!

The heavens DO declare Your Glory, God. THANK YOU!

This photo is from a batch that Lois took a year or so ago — intending to share them with me — and I finally got them yesterday. She said she had seen the unusual cloud formation in the late afternoon and hurried down to the beach — just in case there was a glorious sunset. “Just in case” struck me as Appreciation plus Planning and Foresight. She was Prepared to Appreciate. I admit, God, that made me wonder if I couldn’t improve my Appreciation Skills? I hadn’t thought about what preparations I might make to better appreciate life.

Hmm. It is true that RUSHING makes it almost impossible to appreciate what’s around us. That means “planing ahead” so that I don’t rush is really important. Maybe that is part of Appreciating Time — sensing when I have put one or two or three too many things in my day — and fallen into the Vortex of Busy.

I’m laughing, God! If the Heavens declare Your Glory — surely the Vortex of Busy is an Entrance to Hell. Perhaps the real trouble with Busy is that is generates an ADRENALIN RUSH that drugs us into a High that’s so very addictive to some of us — like me.

Back to Sunsets — they happen over Time — a slowed down time — so that as we focus on them and drink in their beauty — our inner metronome is reset to Your Time.

And, I think I am hearing a nudge from You about Appreciating the People around me. Slowing down to truly be together with others — together in Your Compassionate Presence.

Posted in appreciation, being together in a compassionate presence, embedded in God's Time, Heavens declare the Glory of God