Walking Slowly through a World of Beauty

Posted on June 14, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

pomegranate in a court yard at the Honolulu Museum of Art

Good Day, God!

I’ve been playing Tour Guide for the last three days and Oahu is such a lovely island. Yesterday, my college roommate and I had lunch at the Honolulu Museum of Art cafe.

We then took a leisurely walk through the exhibits — around the Pacific and on through Japan, China, Indonesia and into India. It wasn’t just a geographical walk but a walk from early neolithic times up to today. I have so many photos, God, that I was overwhelmed at the prospect of selecting just one or two.

The Created World — that created by us humans — calls forth “responses.” I

early neolithic pot from China

lingered by a big neolithic pot — pondering its uses and its time and place. How had it survived? How long had it been buried?

a blowup of a print by Kawase Hasui outside the museum

We were fortunate to see the Kawase Hausui exhibit before it closes this week. Japanese woodblock prints have always been favorites of mine. Such elegant simplicity of line and color. I can see why author James Michener collected so many of them. They were mass produced in the late 1800’s with one print costing the same as a bowl of rice. How extraordinary to have Art so affordable.

Our Art, our beloved Creations — provide Joy for the One Who Sees as well as Joy for the One Who Creates. My Heart is full of those Joys, God. How good it is to walk slowly and see.

Still, God, it was the image of one of Your Creations — the lovely pomegranate — that was the first photo I selected for this blog. Thank You, God, for Our Wonderful World.

Tagged with: Honolulu Museum of Art, Japanese wood block prints, Kawase Hasui
Posted in beauty, Creating

Sunrise, Tide Pools, and Shore Birds

Posted on June 12, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Tide pools at sunrise at Wawamalu Beach Park

Good Day, God!

There is nothing like rising in the dark (4:20 a.m.), driving to Starbucks to pick up decaf lattes, and then meeting a friend for her Birthday and a Sunrise Walk.

Sunrise is such a sacred time, God. Especially when one Awaits It by the ocean’s edge — away from the traffic and lights and busy-ness of the city.

Well, yes God, any time can be experienced as sacred. That is true. I suppose, come to think of it that ALL time is sacred. It just requires being in it — in the moment.

birds in flight before the sun

Still, Dawn is special. Observing the imperceptible lightening . . . observing what is — become visible to my eyes. That helps me enter into the Now. Like this tide pool welcoming each incoming wave with ripples gently flowing to the edge of the lava — a brief stillness — then another set of expanding ripples — again and again.

I stood there, God, feeling a bit like the Tide Pool. I, too, am mostly enclosed. New Waters, New Thoughts do flow in — rippling across my consciousness. Ah, but the Lava of my Limited Mindset remains in place. Unmoving. Or maybe that isn’t so much my Mindset as my Human Limitations?

I feel like a shore bird, God. It is not my nature sail for distant shores. Or, like Abraham, to leave home and set out on a lifelong journey without knowing where he was going.

You say Life is a Journey into the Unknown. And You might even yet have changes awaiting me.

Well, then. Yes, to You, God! Yes to Your Will being done!

Tagged with: dawn, incoming ripples, sacred time, tide pools, Wawamalu Beach Park
Posted in Celebrations, Changing, Light, living within limits

Setting My Life in Context

Posted on June 11, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Coming in the side entrance to St. Andrew’s Episcopal Church, Honolulu

Aloha Most Iridescent God!

I suppose You would be just as happy with “Good Day,” God. But there is something about this photo, which I took this afternoon, that makes me want to adorn my greeting with something extra — some small attempt to acknowledge Your Glory.

I am sitting here with tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat wondering “What is Man that You are Mindful of us?” How is it that we humans have been given even this limited awareness of YOU? How indeed!

Glimpses of You are Humbling, God. My sitting here and daring to talk with You — is because of what I have been taught and experienced of Your Nature. Your Nature that welcomes each one of us — as if we were the Only One.

Oh, God! We humans Judge and Rank and Compare. Aah, but You — You go after the one lamb that is lost — searching until she is found — then carry her back in Your Arms. That is how You carried me through our daughter Patty’s illness and death. And that is how You carry me now.

I am sitting here now within Your Compassionate Presence. Needing You. Needing to set my life within You and Your Love. Your Love that only wants to Love and Befriend us. Endlessly continuing Your Loving Pursuit of each one of us. Longing to comfort us and carry us home. And at some point, carry us back to Our Heavenly Home.

Tagged with: Carried Home, Lost Lambs, Loving Shepherds
Posted in connecting, God's Light, humility, LOVE, setting my life in context

Water Lilies and Punahou Reunions

Posted on June 10, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Now all the water lilies are yellow in the Lily Pond

Good Day, God!

Today was the fourth day of Kit’s (my wonderful husband’s) Punahou School reunion. It was picnic day, when everyone mills about and chats. It’s my favorite event.

The location was the Punahou Lily Pond area. There were two tables (for food) and folding chairs that got set up as folks came — very organic. So people could sit and visit and then get up for more food and sit down with another group. Very Fluid.

Sitting under a monkey pod tree and sharing.

Traditionally this is the day to honor memories of classmates who have died in the preceding five years. As the lay kahu for the class, Kit says the prayer to start and hands out the list of names of people to be remembered. He also brings a portable sound system so we can all hear one another as we share. I say “we” although I am not a classmate — being a Californian. But, I’ve been to a lot of reunions, God, and so osmosis has done its job. I feel comfortable with everyone.

Feeling comfortable feels really good. And it seemed to me that everyone there felt comfortable. As Kit announced each classmates’ name people got up and shared — some stories were funny and some were sad but all were kind. There was a lovely sense of respect and appreciation for each person who had left us.

Kit had us end by standing and saying the 23rd Psalm together. (It was printed on the back of the list of the deceased.) That tied it all together. Of course, after that, more food was consumed and more words shared. As Kit and I finally left we heard ukuleles being played and songs being sung. It was a wonderful time.

Tagged with: memorial service, picnics, Punahou School Reunion, respect
Posted in being together in a compassionate presence, Belonging to each other, Celebrations, Sharing

The Front and the Back of Life

Posted on June 8, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Plumeria leaves and a flower or two

Good Day, God!

Kit and I are dressed up and ready to drive off to his Punahou Reunion party at the Oahu Country Club. I think of this as presenting a good front. I shall be pleasant and try for charming.

If all goes well, God, I will not be TOO REAL! Real can be disconcerting to those around us. So we quickly learn to hide.

I remember, God, when Patty was very young taking her to the doctor for an infection. The doctor asked how she was and in a small quavering voice she replied, “I’m fine.”

The “other side” of the plumeria leaves

I had to explain to her that it was OK to tell him how she felt and where she hurt. In fact, it was essential to share as much as she could. In that instance it was easy to see how important it was to “be real” and share what was going on. But, now that I look back I can see that I had absorbed the same cultural constraints that Patty had. Most of us have.

So, God, we forget about sharing. We forget about being real. Maybe we even forget about listening to ourselves?

Ah, sitting here, talking with You — putting amorphous feelings and thoughts into words helps me hear myself. The complex formless swirl inside me needs to precipitate out into words — written or spoken — for me to “hear” them.

Listening to myself — hearing myself — feels like letting Your Light shine Through me. It feels good.

And tonight’s party? Mostly I asked questions and listened to others. I enjoy listening and I enjoyed the party. There were even a few “real” moments.

Tagged with: being heard into speaking, Hearing myself, listening to others
Posted in fasting FOR someone, health, Light, living by every word that comes from God

Behold! The Sun Rising

Posted on June 7, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

The sunrise viewed from just past Sandy Beach, Oahu

Good Morning, God!

The word, “Behold” is taking on new meaning for me. It came to me recently that when Andrew said to his brother, Peter, “Come and See” Jesus — he was talking about far more than “seeing.”

When the Holy Spirit is flowing through a person — even the wee bit we mortals might experience — others can sense it. You have given us, God, some sixth sense that calls out, “BEHOLD.”

Behold the Lamb of God that taketh away the sins of the World. That is what John the Baptist said of Jesus (John 1:29). My Soul, My Spirit, my Being, cry out for that BEHOLDING.

Maybe that is part of how it was that Kit and I rose at 4:30 this morning. Kit went off to do his Five Mile Run. I went off to join Pulelehua on a Sunrise Walk. She does this everyday with her two dogs. Imagine that, God!

So, constrained by circumstances, I ventured forth. And I did BEHOLD the Sun Rising. Beheld the Gift of the Sun — The Life Giving Sun. The experience reminded me of a very Compressed Christmas Season. There is that sense of Anticipation! The sky gradually lightens. Then there is a specific glow. And then the Edge Appears! Dawn!

A New Day. Ah, God, all day the sun moves in the sky — imperceptibly — but at Sunrise and Sunset we can BEHOLD the movement. In this World All is motion. All is ONGOING. I am in the Process of Living. In the Process of Being Saved, of Being Restored, or Being Renewed.

How very Special — every once in a while — to BEHOLD this Mystery.

Tagged with: Behold the Lamb of God, beholding is more than seeing, dawn, sunrise
Posted in God's Light, Heavens declare the Glory of God, Holy Spirit, Light

The Gift of Compassionate, Forgiving Love

Posted on June 6, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

June’s balcony: tea and spiritual direction

Good Day, God!

This is where I can be found on Wednesday mornings between 9:00 and 10:00. It is June’s balcony which overlooks her garden, Waikiki and the Pacific Ocean. June is my Spiritual Director — or as she modestly prefers, my Spiritual Friend.

The Layers in the vista are mirrored by the layers of my heart. This place has become for me a Sacred Spot. A SAFE place where my heart can relax and open — open enough for me to catch glimpses of myself.

That is getting easier, God. Last week when June very quietly mentioned the word “surrender” I cried out, “Oh no! To me “surrender” means being facedown in the Mud!” That got a good laugh from the Part of Me that had not cried out!

This week I was back seeing June — acknowledging that I AM FACE DOWN IN THE MUD. And it is the MUD and SLOP of the prodigal daughter’s pig stye. YIKES! It is a VIVID image. And it feels right. What redeems it is the image of Jesus (giving You a human form, God) picking me up and holding me. Loving me and holding me just as I am.

This is what You do, isn’t it God? Love us as we are. Not as we think we are or want to be or hope to be. Loving us as we are now! Loving all of us muddy human beings. Wanting to share the Joys and Pains of Loving with each one of us.

So, I suppose, God, when June is sitting there — she is sitting in for You — holding her heart open to You . . . and to me. Thank You God for Spiritual Directors.

Tagged with: compassion, Sacred Space, Safe Places, Spiritual Directors
Posted in compassion to care for myself, connections, hearing myself, Hearts, Ongoing Transformation

Wanting Transparency — But First, Comes Compassion

Posted on June 5, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

A Hou Tree blossom on a tree in a nursery at the back of Waimanalo

Good Day, God!

Transparency is such an appealing quality — in flowers and in friends. Hmm. It comes to me God, that I would like to be more transparent with myself. As I say that I’m thinking back to my recent visit with Oldest Daughter, Suzanne.

She said to me one afternoon, “Mom! You are feeling sorry for yourself. Just tell me what you want!”

I confess, God, I wasn’t aware of feeling sorry for myself. Sigh. I don’t like self pity, and so I simply kept myself from noticing that I was engaging in it. How foolish. I’m pretty sure that I turn a Blind Eye on most of my faults. Dang!

Did You just point out the Feelings are not Faults? And that instead of saying Self-Pity I could have said Sad . . . or maybe Conflicted? Yes, God, I was definitely JUDGING my feelings. No wonder I didn’t want to look at them! Labeling some feelings as Bad sure does push them down below consciousness.

How Harsh! And, worse yet, how very Counter Productive! When Suzy observed that I was feeling sorry for myself — I checked and found, sure enough I was! The why wasn’t all that hard. Suz had asked me to change her light bulbs before they burned out. And I was conflicted. I love helping my daughters. But, I really didn’t feel up to teetering on the top of a ladder to change the light bulbs.

When I found that “knot” in my feelings and shared it — transparently — Suz quickly said, “Mom you don’t have to do that!” How easy was that!

Ah, but it is only easy if I ease up on myself . . . compassion is more permeable that judgment.

Tagged with: accepting our feelings, compassion, feelings are not faults, judging, transparency
Posted in accepting my ability to REDESIGN, adjusting, being together in a compassionate presence, blooming

Sitting and Looking at the Moon

Posted on June 4, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

The Almost Full Moon rising over the Hawaii Kai Marina

Good Day, God!

I think, God, that I haven’t been blogging recently because my Heart is Too Full. It can’t seem to squeeze itself into words. But, I keep forgetting. You aren’t waiting for my words . . . just my presence.

My Body understands that, God. She understand the importance of “being with” one another. A simple touch can say far more than words. And yesterday I was wise enough to tell my wonderful husband that I am going to need a lot more touches and hugs in the days to come.

So, here I sit looking at the image of that glorious moon peaking through the clouds last night. Light and Dark. Night and Day. Joy and Sorrow. The rich fabric of life.

So much of that fabric is woven by our families — and by our friends. I have no explanation as to why I have been so fortunate in both family and friends — so blessed in general. I am certain I haven’t “earned it.” If anything, I feel as if I have been “entrusted” with it. It is that old verse I learned as a child:

“Those to whom much is given, from them much is required.”

How can I “give back?” How can I “share?” Time, Money, Love, Respect, Appreciation, Gratitude, A Listening Ear, A Caring Heart. A Simple Hug. I suspect, God that money is the least of these — especially if it comes without the love.

How utterly thankful I am that You hold our World in Your Hands. And that You are Eager to Hold our hands. Thank YOU!

Tagged with: family and friends, Full Moon, giving back, the rich fabric of life
Posted in being together in a compassionate presence, Families, friends, responsibility

My Tomato Plant, My Mother and Me

Posted on June 2, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

I felt like a Walking Tomato Plant

Good Day, God!

While visiting our daughter Sandy in Arizona, I was captivated by her cherry tomato plants — growing in pots! I had no idea you could grow them in a pot. The tomato plants were almost as tall as I am and were loaded with tomatoes.

So, God, back in Hawaii, I determined to look for a tomato plant at the Farmers’ Market this morning.

I was imagining buying a small plant. It never occurred to me that I could buy a plant already bearing tomatoes! But, there it was! Only $20 and it was MINE!

Of course, I had to carry it to the car. Peering between the branches I slowly wended my way through the crowds. Talk about limited peripheral vision! But, only one small bump with another shopper.

There is something very life affirming about growing our own food. I need “life affirming” activities right now, God. My 97-year-old mother is talking about death a lot more these days. And that’s hard for me. She is still doing well enough to beat me at Scrabble this afternoon. But I can feel the “Loss” creeping closer.

I used to tell her she couldn’t die because I’m too young to be an orphan! Ah, God. The days and years are long past when I ought to have been an orphan.

I have been given a gift of years, but my eyes are still filling with tears.