The Front and the Back of Life

Plumeria leaves and a flower or two

Good Day, God!

Kit and I are dressed up and ready to drive off to his Punahou Reunion party at the Oahu Country Club. I think of this as presenting a good front. I shall be pleasant and try for charming.

If all goes well, God, I will not be TOO REAL! Real can be disconcerting to those around us. So we quickly learn to hide.

I remember, God, when Patty was very young taking her to the doctor for an infection. The doctor asked how she was and in a small quavering voice she replied, “I’m fine.”

The “other side” of the plumeria leaves

I had to explain to her that it was OK to tell him how she felt and where she hurt. In fact, it was essential to share as much as she could. In that instance it was easy to see how important it was to “be real” and share what was going on. But, now that I look back I can see that I had absorbed the same cultural constraints that Patty had. Most of us have.

So, God, we forget about sharing. We forget about being real. Maybe we even forget about listening to ourselves?

Ah, sitting here, talking with You — putting amorphous feelings and thoughts into words helps me hear myself. The complex formless swirl inside me needs to precipitate out into words — written or spoken — for me to “hear” them.

Listening to myself — hearing myself — feels like letting Your Light shine Through me. It feels good.

And tonight’s party? Mostly I asked questions and listened to others. I enjoy listening and I enjoyed the party. There were even a few “real” moments.

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Story teller,

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Posted in fasting FOR someone, health, Light, living by every word that comes from God

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