We love, because God first LOVES us

Virgin and Child with St. Anne by Da Vinci

Virgin and Child with St. Anne by Da Vinci

Good Day, God!

This morning I went to see my spiritual director, June. I’m alway so amazed at the images and ideas that flow during my time with her. Thank You!

There is one special image from this morning that cries out to be shared. That is the reframe that happened as I quoted to June the verses from the beginning of the twelfth chapter of Romans:

And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

As I spoke, I became aware that when I thought of offering myself as a living sacrifice — I was picturing myself lying on a stone altar. I confess that the altar resembled an Aztec stone altar . . . where they would cut out the heart of the living person being sacrificed. Yikes! No wonder I could only occasionally get up the gumption to “offer myself” to You!

But, this morning You stepped in and transformed the “location” from a stone altar to YOUR LAP! Wow! You, The Creator of the Universe don’t just love us — You want to hold us in Your Lap — as St. Anne holds Mary! Oh, Dearly Beloved God! You want to hold each and every one of us in Your Lap!

Now, that is The Good News that cries out to be shared! Thank YOU!

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Posted in growing toward up, Help me to see, hugs, lap time

Keeping My Focus on Gratitude

NYC from the Time Warner building: Photo from Diana Chang

NYC from the Time Warner building: Photo from Diana Chang

Good Evening, God!

I got this photo from a dear friend who is visiting NYC with her husband. They are just seeing the sights — totally free!

I love the photo and it gave rise to several thoughts. The first was Wow! I’d LOVE to be THERE! Considering that I was totally traveled out after seven off island trips in the first nine months of this year — that was a good thing.

But, then I got to thinking, God. Hey!  I’m here in Honolulu. I don’t really want to leave. It was just a FLASH WISH. Sort of a desire to WARP over to NYC — look around from the photo’s vantage point — and then WARP back. That would be fun, God. And I sort of hope I live long enough for that sort of Star Trek Transportation to happen.

Another thought was that looking at the photo is pretty close to being there. In fact, given the cold and the long flights and the jet lag, it might even be better.

My latest thought is how easy it is to fall into wishing — wishing for things we don’t have — or wishing for what we do have to be just a wee bit better. Oh my! That kind of wishing slips in and takes over . . . leaving me discontented and disagreeable. Yikes!

Hmm. Yes enjoying and appreciating photos is one thing. Sliding down into discontent is quite another. I do have so much to be thankful for — even my “perceived problems” could well be other people’s blessings. It’s all about Perspective, God! Please help me — please help me deepen my gratitude.

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Posted in gratitude, Help me to see, Perspective

My Dysfunctional Illusion of Fearlessness

Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us

Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us

Good Evening, God!

I love having books read to me, God. This wonderful book, Drive, by Daniel Pink goes over many recent studies on motivation, learning, and mastery — including Carol Dweck’s book Mindset. And, finally, after months of hearing the same message — over and over again — I am beginning to take it to heart.

Basically, the message to me is Don’t Be Afraid To Fail — or since I don’t get grades or evaluations — don’t be afraid of messing stuff up!

DANG! I just hate acknowledging how fearful I am, God! But, facing it and admitting it, is the place to begin. So, this evening I set about the task of removing the phrase The Upside of Being Sick from my blog’s header photo. The first step was watching the video on creating a new menu that the support guy had sent me. I watched it twice — then created a new menu  three or four times before it took.  Meanwhile, when it didn’t seem to take the first couple of times I deleted my header photo and replaced it with another. That didn’t fix it . . . but at least I like my new header.

Next I tackled my blog setup which has been stuck in html for the last week! What a pain! The support guy didn’t tell me how to change it back — he must have thought it was too basic. So, I googled it and got an instant answer. So simple to fix, once  I thought to search the web.

What’s really embarrassing, God, is that back when I was teaching Seniors how to use the internet, I prided myself on my ability to reduce their fears. Ah, but to be able to help myself, I first had to let go of the illusion of fearlessness!  Thank You for Your Help, God!

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Posted in adoring Easy, fears, Growth Opportunities, humility, Humility or Needing Help!

Christmas — Love Reaching Out

An outdoor wreath with the best message -- JOY

An outdoor wreath with the message — JOY


Good Evening, God!

Since Time is held in the palm of Your Hand, God, I thought I’d just go ahead and greet You from my point of view. Now I’m smiling, God. My POV is SO LIMITED! True, we have discovered BILLIONS of other galaxies keeping us company in the Universe. And our finest minds are working on how this all came to be. How indeed!

Time and Space — so vast, God. And now we are going SMALL too with the Higgs Boson Particle(s). And here we are with only a Century Life Span — more or less. I’m starting the book Innumeracy: Mathematical Illiteracy and Its Consequences and already I have discovered that one million seconds will take eleven days but one billion seconds will take almost 32 years. Yikes! I confess, that I don’t even want to know what a trillion seconds would be!

So, God, it was a great comfort to sit in church this morning celebrating the First Sunday in Advent. The first Sunday of the church’s New Year. This is where we begin the annual celebration of You interacting with us. I love it. I love it as history — and as story. I am enough of a story teller to admire its simplicity and its complexity. It brings me Great Joy.

Joy — that small and finite and flawed as I am — I am LOVED. I am known by name and loved. WOW! But, LOVE is to be SHARED. Love delights in extending itself for others. Others around the World . . . and at Home . . . with Your Help, God . . . with Your Help.

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Posted in JOY, LOVE, responding to God's Spirit

The Eiffel Tower and my Warrior Part — a matter of SCALE

The Eiffel Tower as seen from our river boat this April

The Eiffel Tower as seen from our river boat this April

Good Day, God!

I confess that for years I had pooh-poohed the iconic Eiffel Tower as just TOO iconic. That was before I stood underneath it and was overwhelmed by its powerful presence. At a distance it is still impressive — but one only gets 5-10% of its impact.

That seems to me to be analogous to the difference between grasping a concept and having it Act Out in our Life. That’s what happened to me this week. For years I knew that I had a Warrior Part. After all, God, I come from a long line of Vikings.
But on Wednesday June, my Spiritual Director, asked me how my Warrior Part was doing. I checked in and reported that she was quite sad. I don’t know what exactly June said, God. In fact, I never can remember what she says. But, my response mentioned that perhaps we (my various Parts) could form an alliance. DSCN7434

Wow! Immediately, my Warrior Part cheered up and spoke up! She would love to be part of an Alliance! In fact, she would like to be Chancellor of the Exchequer. Since that post was vacant I said “sure, happy to have you serve as Chancellor of the Exchequer!” It was still a “concept.”

But that evening after dinner she had me fill out a rebate form — one I hadn’t gotten to. She discovered that the offer had expired and she was upset. The next morning she called the company to complain — and by that afternoon she had collected the rebate. Then that evening before going to bed she went to a brokerage account that had been “sitting” for months and put in a buy order on three stocks. Chancellors of Exchequers don’t like money sitting around!

I’m not sure what’s next, God. But I’m looking forward to it!

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Posted in a matter of scale, accepting gifts sight unseen, adjusting, layer upon layer, Uncategorized

A Slow Learner — or a Non-Learner?

waiting for the Full Moon to rise over the Hawaii Kai marina

waiting for the Full Moon to rise on the Hawaii Kai marina

Good Day, God!

My wonderful husband Kit and I had dinner last night on the lanai of The Shack waiting for the moon to rise. We had missed the moon rise the day before because before I got home from my mom’s, the moon was UP. I hadn’t realized that it isn’t just about the moon. I want the whole package: the sun setting, the growing twilight and the eager scanning of the sky for the first sighting of moonlight.

Waiting is on my mind, God, because I am realizing that I have been sort of passively “waiting” to grow up. Mind You, I thought I’d done pretty well. But, somehow, I just thought that one day I’d add another portion of being mature. That illusion was shattered this week while reading (listening to it, actually), Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us by Daniel Pink.

Much of the information in the book is familiar — but, this week it has been like hearing it for the first time. I can rescript my life, God? Yes, that is what you have been telling me. But, I guess I thought YOU would do the whole thing. . . DUH!

So, now it is somehow MUCH clearer that I am not a FIXED being. I’m designed to GROW. But that GROWTH takes TIME and TENACITY (read: HARD WORK). So, in an effort to rescript my operating system — I an renaming tedious. The Terrible Trivium Demon (as seen in the Phantom Tollbooth) always made me think that trivial details were BORING. So I slid by them. Now I am naming them SATISFYING!

Sigh. I am such a Slow Learner, God! The only thing that redeems that designation is that it beats being a Non-Learner!

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Posted in a series of molts and upgrades, authority over my life, Books, changing who I want to become, choosing HARD, Choosing to respond, Ongoing Transformation

A Word of Comfort for My Mom — and for Me

Sun setting at Ala Moana Beach Park


Good Day, God!

When I catch sight of the Sun — as I did recently in my rearview mirror — I’m always surprised at how small it is. The same with the size of the moon. I guess, after all these years I’m surprised that I am still surprised. I like surprises, God. Well, mostly, I like surprises . . . some are more daunting.

Recently, my mom has been talking about The Big Surprise, Death. She confided to me that she has always been afraid of death. And as she nears becoming 98 Death is greatly on her mind. Yesterday, as we were taking a walk down her corridor she said, “It was good of her to do it, but I don’t know how she did it.” I asked her who did what? As the story unfolded, it seemed that Patty — our daughter who died at 18 from cancer — had told my mom, “You don’t have to be afraid. It isn’t so bad.” My mom was quite clear about the message — just not so clear about how or even when it had been delivered.

Not So Bad, God? At first I thought Patty was referring to Heaven and that did seem like faint praise. But, then it came to me that Patty was probably talking about dying — that often drawn-out-process-of-dying. When Patty was ill she had said she wasn’t afraid of being dead — it was dying that worried her.

Aah, God. How GOOD of You to have Patty deliver that comforting word to my Mom! Actually, I find it a very good word for me, too. Because I am my Mom’s companion in this process. Not So Bad, eh? I’m going to hang on to that assurance God! Thank You!

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Posted in being repotted, Caring, Choosing Meaning, daughters

A Good Life

An evening picnic at Ala Moana Beach Park

Good Evening, God!

So many JOYS in our lives, God. This week one of them was having a dinner picnic at Ala Moana Beach Park with friends AND with our late daughter Patty’s Best Friend, Susie! And, as happens so often in this lovely island world, Susie is the niece of one of my best friends, June. And Susie had asked her aunt if she could arrange a visit with us.

So there Kit and I were with June & Jerry and Susie & Johan chatting away and catching up after several years. And all the while, we were watching the sun set. It was like being inside a postcard! June and Jerry picnic at this spot once a week. Aaah, what a really lovely idea, God.

Not just to sit in Nature, but to sit with friends, sharing food and conversation. Could anything be more nourishing? It is our families and friends that contribute the most to our happiness. And maybe those friendships go beyond mere happiness and nourish our very souls? I think so, God, I think so.

Dolphins off of Kahe Point: Photo by Robert Brey

I just got this photo from another dear friend whose son had sent it. I love being connected over generations, God. And I suppose that’s  what makes Facebook so successful — all these connections.

I must confess, though, that Facebook overwhelms me. So many people and all so accessible. I like people in smaller groups and for longer periods. But, perhaps I can learn to make better use of Facebook?

After all, God, life isn’t just about sitting in Paradise. Life is about Learning and Growing — and Connecting.

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Posted in Belonging to each other, Caring, connecting, Conversations

Thanksgiving and Its Other Half

Capturing both a bee and its shadow

Good Morning, God!

Happy Thanksgiving! I went out for a jog this morning — stopping to snap photos, of course. And in uploading them I discovered that I had captured the shadow of a bee that was just leaving the flower. And I even caught the bee itself on the upper left corner.

Such a small thing to be thankful for, God. But, then perhaps Life is a Mosaic of Small Things?

As I consider people suffering from the explosions and violence of war, I grieve, God. Yet, I remember (from experience) that even in Great Suffering there is always something to be thankful for.

Suffering rips away our illusion that we know the future. And upon looking around we can see just how much worse it could have been.

Even in the relatively small suffering of being near the epicenter of an Earthquake in Los Angeles, we were So Thankful we and all our neighbors were ALIVE! Sigh . . . I guess what I am trying to say, God, is that Thankfulness is always available to us. Waiting, as it were, for us to notice.

And if Thanksgiving has another half, that would be Praise. I love Psalm 100:4: Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise. I used to think that being thankful and praising You were “party clothes” that we put on when we went to visit You. But now I see them more as instructions on how to get closer to You.

So, Most Awesome Creator of All that Is — Thank You!  And please, God, open up my Innermost Being so that Rivers of Praise may flow out.

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Posted in Praise, taking time to focus, thankfulness, Thanksgiving!, the joy of sharing, Uncategorized

Change — Seldom Easy

A last photo of former “wilderness area” off of Hawaii Kai Drive

Good Day, God!

Our new dishwasher was installed today and the change back to using a dishwasher will be easy!

But, not all changes are “easy” to process. Last month a non-profit group for a better Hawaii Kai, tore out my favorite “pocket wilderness area” here on Hawaii Kai Drive.   It was filled with old kiawe trees, various shrubs, grasses and  mongooses. I loved it!

All that diversity is gone now. Dug up root and branch. Instead we have dirt and a green chain link fence. I feared a lawn might go in. But, this morning I heard that — having removed invasive plants — they will put in indigenous plants. A good change I suppose — but still difficult for me.

Earlier today I was reading a book review of The Last Viking: The Life of Roald Amundsen. In 1898, his ship was overwintering in the Arctic. Scurvy threatened them all. Amundsen’s response was to hunt seals and “prescribe” lightly cooked seal meat to his crew. I was taken by the review’s description of scurvy: depression, morose moping in their bunks, lethargy and lack of enthusiasm even to help themselves — all of them psychological symptoms of scurvy.

Hmm. My first response was to go and take 1,000 units of vitamin C. My next: “Has anyone checked the vitamin C levels of people suffering from depression?” Pills are simple — maybe TOO simple, God? Anyway it turned out that the semi-raw seal meat was neither simple nor easy. Many of the crew found the taste awful and only ate it on doctor’s orders. The doctor, Frederick A. Cook, deserves lots of credit, God, for observing how the indigenous peoples of the Arctic ate — and learning from them.

We “invasive peoples” can still learn a lot from “indigenous” peoples, God.

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Posted in Changing, Diversity, food questions

Blogs I Follow
Brené Brown

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Rachel Naomi Remen

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A Moment with God

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Sacred Dance Guild Journal

Since 1958 articles by members & guests offer news about activities, history, Sacred Dance practices, profiles of Sacred Dancers, choreography, images & illustrations.

Victoria Paulsen

How to Step In -- Substitute Teaching

Brené Brown

chatting and sometimes, listening

Rachel Naomi Remen

chatting and sometimes, listening

A Moment with God

chatting and sometimes, listening

Sacred Dance Guild Journal

Since 1958 articles by members & guests offer news about activities, history, Sacred Dance practices, profiles of Sacred Dancers, choreography, images & illustrations.

Victoria Paulsen

How to Step In -- Substitute Teaching