A Slow Learner — or a Non-Learner?

Posted on November 29, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

waiting for the Full Moon to rise over the Hawaii Kai marina

waiting for the Full Moon to rise on the Hawaii Kai marina

Good Day, God!

My wonderful husband Kit and I had dinner last night on the lanai of The Shack waiting for the moon to rise. We had missed the moon rise the day before because before I got home from my mom’s, the moon was UP. I hadn’t realized that it isn’t just about the moon. I want the whole package: the sun setting, the growing twilight and the eager scanning of the sky for the first sighting of moonlight.

Waiting is on my mind, God, because I am realizing that I have been sort of passively “waiting” to grow up. Mind You, I thought I’d done pretty well. But, somehow, I just thought that one day I’d add another portion of being mature. That illusion was shattered this week while reading (listening to it, actually), Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us by Daniel Pink.

Much of the information in the book is familiar — but, this week it has been like hearing it for the first time. I can rescript my life, God? Yes, that is what you have been telling me. But, I guess I thought YOU would do the whole thing. . . DUH!

So, now it is somehow MUCH clearer that I am not a FIXED being. I’m designed to GROW. But that GROWTH takes TIME and TENACITY (read: HARD WORK). So, in an effort to rescript my operating system — I an renaming tedious. The Terrible Trivium Demon (as seen in the Phantom Tollbooth) always made me think that trivial details were BORING. So I slid by them. Now I am naming them SATISFYING!

Sigh. I am such a Slow Learner, God! The only thing that redeems that designation is that it beats being a Non-Learner!

Tagged with: acquiring a Growth Mindset, Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us, re-scripting my operating system, renaming trivia
Posted in a series of molts and upgrades, authority over my life, Books, changing who I want to become, choosing HARD, Choosing to respond, Ongoing Transformation

A Word of Comfort for My Mom — and for Me

Posted on November 27, 2012 by a moment with god — 3 Comments

Sun setting at Ala Moana Beach Park

Good Day, God!

When I catch sight of the Sun — as I did recently in my rearview mirror — I’m always surprised at how small it is. The same with the size of the moon. I guess, after all these years I’m surprised that I am still surprised. I like surprises, God. Well, mostly, I like surprises . . . some are more daunting.

Recently, my mom has been talking about The Big Surprise, Death. She confided to me that she has always been afraid of death. And as she nears becoming 98 Death is greatly on her mind. Yesterday, as we were taking a walk down her corridor she said, “It was good of her to do it, but I don’t know how she did it.” I asked her who did what? As the story unfolded, it seemed that Patty — our daughter who died at 18 from cancer — had told my mom, “You don’t have to be afraid. It isn’t so bad.” My mom was quite clear about the message — just not so clear about how or even when it had been delivered.

Not So Bad, God? At first I thought Patty was referring to Heaven and that did seem like faint praise. But, then it came to me that Patty was probably talking about dying — that often drawn-out-process-of-dying. When Patty was ill she had said she wasn’t afraid of being dead — it was dying that worried her.

Aah, God. How GOOD of You to have Patty deliver that comforting word to my Mom! Actually, I find it a very good word for me, too. Because I am my Mom’s companion in this process. Not So Bad, eh? I’m going to hang on to that assurance God! Thank You!

Tagged with: "Not So Bad", a comforting word, Death, dying, the Big Surprise
Posted in being repotted, Caring, Choosing Meaning, daughters

A Good Life

Posted on November 25, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

An evening picnic at Ala Moana Beach Park

Good Evening, God!

So many JOYS in our lives, God. This week one of them was having a dinner picnic at Ala Moana Beach Park with friends AND with our late daughter Patty’s Best Friend, Susie! And, as happens so often in this lovely island world, Susie is the niece of one of my best friends, June. And Susie had asked her aunt if she could arrange a visit with us.

So there Kit and I were with June & Jerry and Susie & Johan chatting away and catching up after several years. And all the while, we were watching the sun set. It was like being inside a postcard! June and Jerry picnic at this spot once a week. Aaah, what a really lovely idea, God.

Not just to sit in Nature, but to sit with friends, sharing food and conversation. Could anything be more nourishing? It is our families and friends that contribute the most to our happiness. And maybe those friendships go beyond mere happiness and nourish our very souls? I think so, God, I think so.

Dolphins off of Kahe Point: Photo by Robert Brey

I just got this photo from another dear friend whose son had sent it. I love being connected over generations, God. And I suppose that’s what makes Facebook so successful — all these connections.

I must confess, though, that Facebook overwhelms me. So many people and all so accessible. I like people in smaller groups and for longer periods. But, perhaps I can learn to make better use of Facebook?

After all, God, life isn’t just about sitting in Paradise. Life is about Learning and Growing — and Connecting.

Tagged with: across generations, beaches, connections, Friends, nourishing our souls, sunsets
Posted in Belonging to each other, Caring, connecting, Conversations

Thanksgiving and Its Other Half

Posted on November 22, 2012 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

Capturing both a bee and its shadow

Good Morning, God!

Happy Thanksgiving! I went out for a jog this morning — stopping to snap photos, of course. And in uploading them I discovered that I had captured the shadow of a bee that was just leaving the flower. And I even caught the bee itself on the upper left corner.

Such a small thing to be thankful for, God. But, then perhaps Life is a Mosaic of Small Things?

As I consider people suffering from the explosions and violence of war, I grieve, God. Yet, I remember (from experience) that even in Great Suffering there is always something to be thankful for.

Suffering rips away our illusion that we know the future. And upon looking around we can see just how much worse it could have been.

Even in the relatively small suffering of being near the epicenter of an Earthquake in Los Angeles, we were So Thankful we and all our neighbors were ALIVE! Sigh . . . I guess what I am trying to say, God, is that Thankfulness is always available to us. Waiting, as it were, for us to notice.

And if Thanksgiving has another half, that would be Praise. I love Psalm 100:4: Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise. I used to think that being thankful and praising You were “party clothes” that we put on when we went to visit You. But now I see them more as instructions on how to get closer to You.

So, Most Awesome Creator of All that Is — Thank You! And please, God, open up my Innermost Being so that Rivers of Praise may flow out.

Tagged with: And into His Courts with Praise, Enter His Gates with Thanksgiving, Praise the other half of Thanksgiving, Psalm 100
Posted in Praise, taking time to focus, thankfulness, Thanksgiving!, the joy of sharing, Uncategorized

Change — Seldom Easy

Posted on November 20, 2012 by a moment with god — 2 Comments

A last photo of former “wilderness area” off of Hawaii Kai Drive

Good Day, God!

Our new dishwasher was installed today and the change back to using a dishwasher will be easy!

But, not all changes are “easy” to process. Last month a non-profit group for a better Hawaii Kai, tore out my favorite “pocket wilderness area” here on Hawaii Kai Drive. It was filled with old kiawe trees, various shrubs, grasses and mongooses. I loved it!

All that diversity is gone now. Dug up root and branch. Instead we have dirt and a green chain link fence. I feared a lawn might go in. But, this morning I heard that — having removed invasive plants — they will put in indigenous plants. A good change I suppose — but still difficult for me.

Earlier today I was reading a book review of The Last Viking: The Life of Roald Amundsen. In 1898, his ship was overwintering in the Arctic. Scurvy threatened them all. Amundsen’s response was to hunt seals and “prescribe” lightly cooked seal meat to his crew. I was taken by the review’s description of scurvy: depression, morose moping in their bunks, lethargy and lack of enthusiasm even to help themselves — all of them psychological symptoms of scurvy.

Hmm. My first response was to go and take 1,000 units of vitamin C. My next: “Has anyone checked the vitamin C levels of people suffering from depression?” Pills are simple — maybe TOO simple, God? Anyway it turned out that the semi-raw seal meat was neither simple nor easy. Many of the crew found the taste awful and only ate it on doctor’s orders. The doctor, Frederick A. Cook, deserves lots of credit, God, for observing how the indigenous peoples of the Arctic ate — and learning from them.

We “invasive peoples” can still learn a lot from “indigenous” peoples, God.

Tagged with: Change, learning from indigenous peoples, scurvy, The Last Viking
Posted in Changing, Diversity, food questions

Getting on with Life

Posted on November 18, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

tiny bromeliads (I think)

Good Day, God!

I love this photo for its Brightness and for the gravel walkway next to it. So like my life right now. Mixed.

I sit in the rich soil of life with Roots extended into darkness. What Root knows its purpose? I rather fancy, God, that they go about their business of extracting nutrients from the mud, humus and compost around them — totally unaware of the flowers above ground.

Sigh, above ground . . . in the Light . . . seeing and being seen — knowing. Given a choice I would live just as flower. Yet, what plant can grow — or even live — without roots. So, now I stop to go and sit in silence — at your feet, so to speak. I’m back. . . with More DEEP sighs, God.

I am a whole plant . . . both roots and flowers . . . and lots of leaves. For me, prayer is a way to nourish my roots — and ALSO a source of SunLight for my leaves. You are The Ground of my Being. I like that it takes three overlapping analogies to attempt to describe reality. Thus it was that Jesus said he is the Shepherd, The Gate and the Way.

And now I’m smiling. How good of You to Hear us! We are small and finite. But Beloved. And that makes it possible to love myself and to love others. As John said, “We love because You first loved us.”

Perhaps, that is our sole purpose? Or Soul Purpose? I just hope, God, that when my life is done I don’t find that I have missed the point. It brings to mind the old prayer I said as a child. I just hung the 12×16 embroidery of it done for me as a baby and was surprised by the last verse.

If I should live for other days, I pray thee Lord to guide my ways. May it be so, God!

Tagged with: being a root, being an whole plant, being loved, loving
Posted in acknowledging my need for prayer, Centering Prayer, Choosing Meaning, LOVE, Prayer

Experiencing Awe — in Eclipses, Wee Roses, Medical Matters

Posted on November 15, 2012 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

Diamond ring from the 2009 total eclipse we saw LIVE

Good Morning, God!

Thank You for Total Eclipses — and for the fact that, during one, the Moon exactly “covers” the Sun. I love such improbable details. And how better to appreciate one than to observe in person, as we did on July 22, 2009. It was the longest Total Eclipse of the century! — 6 minutes, 39 seconds. We were aboard a cruise ship in the Pacific, near Iwo Jima. It was my husband Kit’s 75th birthday.

This morning I “watched” an eclipse filmed recently by the BBC in Australia — 2+ minutes of Totality. That brought the subject to mind. Thank You, God!

miniature roses from my car port “garden” on the card table at my Mom’s

Thank You, too, that my mother still marvels at the beauty of the miniature roses that I bring her. Size doesn’t matter when it comes to awe and appreciation.

I had a very different moment of “awe” yesterday. I had gone with two friends to visit a specialist at Queens Medical Center. The doctor’s sense of compassion was palpable. He asked my friend, the patient — let’s call him “G” — to tell the story of his cancer. I brought up a treatment request the patient had made to me earlier. Actually, I brought it up three times — as delicately as I could. “G” had “forgotten” to ask. The doctor said he would discuss it with people who could decide.

Then the doctor asked us again to “introduce” ourselves. When I told him my name he said, “You’re Kit’s wife!” And his face lit up! He knew Kit as a past fellow participant in the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society’s marathon training program. So, Kit’s Good Name got linked with the request for “G’s” treatment.

A very small thing — but awesome. I rejoiced in it!

I suspect that rejoicing — like laughter — doeth good like a medicine!

Tagged with: AWE, medicine, miniature roses, on being with friends during medical conferences, rejoicing, total eclipses
Posted in appreciation, Families, Heavens declare the Glory of God

Retirement: Reorienting and Rebuilding

Posted on November 12, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Stephanotis vine growing on a wire grid

Good Day, God!

Thank You for TIME . . . time to do less . . . to rest. Let’s see, it has been over a year since I retired. And I’m still surprised about how Vine-Like I had become.

Like a Vine I was dependent on the Supporting Framework of Work to “hold me up.” Hmm. That is a brand new thought, God. And I like it. Rather, I like discovering that parts of me resemble a vine. Mind You, God, I am not all that pleased at resembling a vine. I prefer picturing myself as a Tree. A Tree like the one described in Psalm One. The Message puts it this way:

A tree replanted in Eden,
bearing fresh fruit every month,
Never dropping a leaf,
always in blossom.

Who wouldn’t prefer being a Tree? But, sitting here pondering it — a tree seems a trifle ambitions. I’m beginning to suspect that as of now, I’m a Vine. And the question is “Will I take personal responsibility for Choosing / Selecting / Constructing my Supporting Grid?”

Life Is To Grow On: The ABC’s of Holistic Growth by Rev, Dr, Margery Williams Terpstra

What Habits do I want to select and build? How do I want to “manage” my attention and my energy? The Habit Factor app isn’t enough. . . ah . . . I just got up and put my hand right on the book I want — in a very full bookcase!

The author, Dr. Margery Williams Terpstra has been a friend and mentor for many years. It’s been years since I read it but it sure feels like it’s time to read it again!

Read it — and interact with it! I want to Journal about it and with it and let it soak into my currently rather amorphous being.

Thanks, God, for the book and the inspiration!

Tagged with: caring for my complete self, finding the right grid, life AFTER retirement, Life Is To Grow On by Margery Williams Terpstra
Posted in a series of molts and upgrades, A Spiritual Spring Cleaning, accepting my need for help, Changing, growing toward up

Flowers as seen by Ms. Chicken Little

Posted on November 11, 2012 by a moment with god — 2 Comments

A flower stall at the Kapiolani Community College Farmers’ Market

Good Evening, God!

Surely the World is a marvelous place, filled with flowers and farmers and sunlight. And, if I keep my eyes focused on flowers and things that are noble and true and right — I’m fine.

The trouble is, God, that I look around me. I look at yards as well as inches. And that is definitely causing me distress. I’m a veritable Chicken Little — only it isn’t that the Sky is Falling . . . it is that the Oceans are Warming.

Warmer Oceans mean an Increased Potential for Storms . . . BIGGER STORMS. And, of course, warmer temperatures mean melting glaciers — especially Greenland — and rising sea levels. It is a clear case of DUH! We have a Problem, here.

Vanity Fair did a great overview on global warming. Why argue if we humans “caused” it when we are certainly adding to it. Actually, I’ve known for years that we were close to the end of an “interglacial Interlude” — so maybe it is partly Just That Time Again, geologically speaking. I guess, God, that what troubles me is How Do We Respond?

My vote for everyone’s Favorite Response is Roll Over and Change the Subject. Angry Denial isn’t far behind. Goodness knows lots of money has gone into Semi-Science saying that global warming is just a theory. Oil companies, anyone? Another response (or non-response) is that IT’S TOO BIG TO DEAL WITH — so, Eat, Drink and be Merry

Some of my fellow believers are saying that it doesn’t matter because Jesus is coming soon. Rapture, anyone? But, God, that feels like turning my back on a situation that deserves our best efforts.

Sigh. I guess what I WANT is that we ALL (the Entire World) Wake Up, Acknowledge Reality, and Work Together on how to deal with it. Clearly, I believe in miracles!

Tagged with: Global Warming, How to Respond, Visible Changes, Wake-up calls
Posted in Choosing to respond, climate changes, Life isn't supposed to be easy.

The Limits of Leadership

Posted on November 5, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Queen Celeste from the Babar books

Good Day, God!

I’ve been traveling A LOT this year. So, I’m behind in all sorts of things. One thing was setting up Habit Factors so I could check off the tasks I wanted to do. It got delayed as I pondered my Goals. Hmm. Goals?

It has slowly been becoming clearer to me that all Goals must begin with and be based on deepening my connection with You, God. Taking off the protective chain on the Door of My Heart? TRUSTING YOU?

This seems particularly important just before Election Day. We are electing National Leaders and that’s important! But as I look around I find that I am the Only Candidate for the Leader of My Life. Now, God, as the Irish might put it — YOU are the High King and I report to You. Still, as far as being responsible for me — day in and day out — I’m it! That’s sobering.

What is even more sobering is that a Good Leader is limited in her ability to make things better. Often making things better depends on Lots of Variables. Other People, Perfect Storms, Emergencies, Unexpected Events — all conspire against making things better.

But what is especially sobering is that a Bad Leader has an almost limitless ability to make things worse. This is true nationally and individually. We can become addicts — gambling, alcohol, drugs, even abusing food — plunging our lives into chaos. Or people (like me) can just sort of drift along on the currents of life — taking the easy path.

I don’t want to do that any more, God. But, Oh, I need Your Help! Please help me become a better Queen of my Life. Please, God, help us all — individually and nationally.