Saying Goodbye to 2012 and Releasing My Past

Posted on December 31, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Sunset on my mom’s 98th birthday

Good Evening, God!

Aaaah, today I got a loving compliment from Suzanne, our Oldest Daughter! I’m an Oldest Daughter, myself, so I know how high our standards can be. The compliment was about how well I had done in maturing over the last 30 years. That isn’t exactly what she said, God. But, that’s the idea.

As I sat there with her at the airport, processing the compliment, I realized that I have a lot of guilt/grief/regret to let go of. (I think I am holding in my belly fat — and I really want to let go of that.)

So, instead of focusing on the New Year with resolutions to DO BETTER and to BE BETTER — I am sitting here and RELEASING all my failures and mistakes of the last several decades. RELEASING! Such a lovely word, God! Putting all my STUFF in Your Lap and then climbing up into Your Lap, myself.

I am still a Very Small Child in Your scheme of things. And it is good to sit Silently and Peacefully in that awareness. Gosh, God! I need to keep on opening myself to that awareness.

It’s funny, God. Releasing feels like a better word than forgiving. It is like I am pouring out a Lifetime of Totally Unrealistic Expectations. Gosh, God. It takes an awful lot of energy to push my past away and repress all the times I missed opportunities to change . . . to ask for help . . . to grow.

Releasing is very much an ongoing process, isn’t it, God? I can’t do it without Your Enveloping Love! You love me as I am — and as I was — and as I am becoming. And You love each one of us that very same way. Smile! Here is to a New Year FULL OF LOVE!

Tagged with: cleaning up my heart, letting go, Releasing my past, saying goodbye to 2012
Posted in a New Year, lap time, letting the Holy Spirit flow through us, LOVE

Touched by Music and Hope

Posted on December 30, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

a cello made from an oil can and landfill trash

Good Morning, God!

Music coming from instruments made from recycled landfill trash! I was touched by the very idea . . . and even more moved by the beautiful music pouring forth!

I friend sent me the link to the video — and I like many others feel called to share it. Hearing these children — living on a landfill in Paraguay — create marvelous music from their cobbled together instruments called me to account.

The sheer audacious creativity to even conceive of such an undertaking! Then to make it WORK! To bring forth real music from discarded trash — inspiring! But the real impact on me came from the children who were making the music — children of the Third World — so full of gifts and talents — so enlivened by the music.

We have an old flute in our home, God. I longed to be able to send it to these children! I wanted to help — or maybe it would be better to say that I wanted to give myself the gift of being part of all of this. So, I made a donation.

That’s pretty small — but it is something. It feels more and more as if being a part — even a very small part — of helping others is essential to my health and well-being. I’m pretty sure You designed us that way, God.

Maybe that’s why, all over the world people — ordinary people — are getting up and doing things! My dear friend, Heidi, has created Advocates for Africa’s Children. And half a world away in rural Swaziland orphans are being helped — via gardens and rabbits — toward food security. And just as importantly, they are receiving Hope and Love.

Hope and Love . . . and Music . . . what is life without them?

Tagged with: creative visions, helping, landfill harmonic, music
Posted in connecting, Help me to see, Music, Ongoing Transformation

New Things!

Posted on December 26, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Frost Flowers near the North Pole

Good Day, God!

My wonderful husband Kit sent me the link to an NPR story about Frost Flowers. Amazing! These crystalline ice structures pop up out of the central Arctic Ocean when conditions are just right. I am not at all clear what “right” means. The article makes it sound like the air needs to be extremely cold and extremely dry — thus to pull into the ice little bumps of moisture. Since it is too cold for the moisture to stay suspended in air, as it turns back into ice it takes a crystalline form, like snowflakes.

All of this was delightful enough, God. But, the article also tells that these frost flowers are three times as salty as regular ocean water and surprisingly full of bacteria.

A photo of frost flowers grown in a lab

I know we have found bacteria in all sorts of extreme habitats. Still, apparently, the scientists are curious about just what these bacteria are doing in their extremely cold and salty homes.

So, I am sitting here — happy. Happy to have discovered Krulwich’s Wonders — a science based blog that was the source of this story. Happy to have discovered Frost Flowers. Happy to have seen them up close. And happy for all the bacteria in those frost flowers. Bacteria that seem to be happily going about the business of living. Good on them!

Life is amazing, God. And maybe it isn’t so very different for bacteria than it is for us? Surely, regardless of size and complexity, life is to be relished and lived! Thank You!

Tagged with: arctic ice crystals, extreme conditions, frost flowers, life
Posted in appreciation, blooming, web of life

Christmas Gifts and Reframes

Posted on December 25, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Christmas Even dinner at Duc’s

Merry Christmas, God!

Christmas is a Wonderous Day . . . in which You break into our Time and Space . . . again and again. Year after year — moment after moment — You keep on offering us another way of seeing. Offering us another Vantage Point. Offering us a way of reversing our Background and Foregrounds.

Our daughter, Suzanne, did that for me this morning. Yesterday I had Back Pain. Oh my goodness, God, I never hurt and so the Shock of Hurting was an added source of Pain. As I write that I feel a wave of gratitude. I’m thankful! But, at the same time I am thinking: There is so MUCH pain in the world — perhaps I am not doing my share of dealing with it?

Next — tiptoeing in after that thought — came the question: How does one deal with pain? Hmm. How indeed? I tend to think of pain, and misfortune in general, as just part of living amidst a Random Universe. Sort of like the rain falling on the just and the unjust — both the icy rain of winter storms and the soft gentle rains of Hawaii.

Still, there is another (deeper?) part of me that wants to assign Reasons and Blame. It is the part that queries: What did I do to bring this on? Thus, it was that Suzy found me this morning, lying in bed playing solitaire and distracting myself from my Inner Inquisitor.

Suzy lovingly suggested that sometimes pain doesn’t come from bearing burdens but in releasing burdens.

What a lovely reframe! Now I can experience the pain as a temporary pain that comes as part of the release of putting down a load — of offloading responsibilities onto Other Shoulders. I felt better almost immediately! Such is the Power of Reframes!

Tagged with: Christmas, dealing with pain, reframes, releasing responsibility, the pain of letting go
Posted in reframing, relaxation, responsibility, self care as self compassion and humility

Joys for the Senses

Posted on December 21, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Lydian Chorus singing Handel’s Messiah

Good Day, God!

WOW! I just finished watching the Youtube video of the Lydian Chorus with steel drums, doing Handel’s Hallelujah Chorus. And I am going to play it again while I write. I’m pretty sure Handel himself is singing along.

I am used to the Messiah being performed by singers in black and white — so the COLORS were a delight! The dancers wore white dresses but such amazing dresses! The dresses swung and swirled and flew — I loved them. The whole presentation was such an example of cross-cultural pollination!

Sigh. I guess parts of our culture got stuck somewhere back in Victorian England. But if watching this performance doesn’t unstick folks — what will?

Hmm. Speaking of stuck . . . that reminds me of how easy it is to get stuck in our own culture — or our own denomination or faith or political party. One of the great gifts of living in Hawaii is that all of us are Between Cultures. There is a sense of being part of a “culture” constantly being assembled and reassembled depending on the constraints and opportunities of the moment.

Our Hawaiian Hula has faced a variety of fascinating cross pollinations and constraints — including attempts to outlaw it. But, let me go back to Stuck. I am right now extricating myself from Christmas BUSY-NESS to finish this blog on joy. This is only for a few minutes, then I shall go back to the daily and seasonal efforts and interactions.

Aaah, but how important to realize (does one learn or discover this?) that one CAN step out of the crush. Step out — momentarily — of dearly beloved relationships and rejoice. Rejoice in music, in dance, and in COLOR. You have given us a Beautiful World — filled with Beautiful People. Thank You!

Tagged with: colors, getting unstuck, Handel's Hallelujah Chorus, Lydian Chorus, Trinidad
Posted in A God given diversity, JOY, Music

Recovering: Re-Centering and Re-Committing

Posted on December 16, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Koko Crater at dawn while stopped at a red light

Good Morning, God!

It’s one week after my husband Kit ran the Honolulu Marathon — and I am so thankful he is alive and well. Life has pretty much returned to normal.

Saturday I spent almost 90 minutes in Centering Prayer — at the monthly gathering of the Contemplative Outreach of Hawaii.

Oh, my, Goodness, God! It was so wonderful to sink into the deep supportive silence of the group. At home I am antsy . . . thoughts of what I need to do next popping into my mind. Sometimes I even pop up to do a task. Sigh.

Aaah, but when centering in a group, social pressure keeps me sitting in my chair. Part of it is the social accountability factor. But, I think there is more. It feels different. It feels as if a Force Field has been created — a Welcoming Field — eager to be joined. So, thanks be to You, God.

After the prayer time I slept better that night than I had all week. I felt fully relaxed. I guess, God, it would have been best if I had done the intensive prayer time before I had the massage and acupuncture. Had I done the Spiritual Work first, I’m pretty sure I would have gotten even more benefit from the physical helps.

Meanwhile, I am recommitting to the Three Commands I heard from You at Life in the Spirit: 1) Soften my exterior. 2) Strengthen my core. 3) Awaken me to possibilities. More prayer, God. I need more prayer. To do those three things I will really need to spend more time in prayer.

Tagged with: centering prayer, Contemplative Outreach of Hawaii, letting go of stress, Relaxed, welcoming the Holy Spirit
Posted in Centering Prayer, healing, processing on deeper levels

Medicare and Massage — A Healthier America

Posted on December 14, 2012 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

A Hand — getting a massage

Good Day, God!

I’m just back from having a medicinal massage from Arturo. And did I NEED it! Having Kit run and complete the Honolulu Marathon while feeling bad totally wiped me out — even with our daughter, Sandy, here with me to share the stress.

So today as I was having my medicinal massage — having stress lumps kneaded and released — I totally changed the way I see massage. And Mayo Clinic agrees.

I used to think that massage was a delightful extra — a hedonistic treat, as it were. Now I see massage as one of the most important ways of eliminating the LUMPS left by stress.

Jogging, exercising and stretching are good stressors. They are positive outlets for energy. As our energy goes out — it makes even more room for energy to come in. Ah, but Anxiety Stress is different! That kind of Stress burns up our energy and leaves behind lumps like hunks of charcoal clogging our bodies and our hearts.

Literal lumps. God? I’m not sure, but that is the “image” I see in my Mind’s Eye. Stress that isn’t processed-out piles up and blocks all kinds of things. These lumps constrict blood flow — leaving cells with diminished nutrients and overflowing trash cans. These lumps block the flow of Your Spirit, too, God.

Getting rid of these Stress Deposits is really important, God! Prayer help on one level, and massage helps on another level. I have experienced how helpful massage can be. Not everyone can schedule a massage with Arturo, but almost any kind of massage would help.

So, that’s where Medicare comes in. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if massage were covered by Medicare! Wouldn’t everyone of Medicare age be healthier with regular massages? Massages are Good for us AND they feel good!

That’s my prescription, God, for a healthier America!

Tagged with: massages for health, medicare and massage, medicinal massage, stress busting, stress deposits
Posted in healing, health, systematic rebuilding required, Uncategorized, web of life

We love, because God first LOVES us

Posted on December 12, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Virgin and Child with St. Anne by Da Vinci

Good Day, God!

This morning I went to see my spiritual director, June. I’m alway so amazed at the images and ideas that flow during my time with her. Thank You!

There is one special image from this morning that cries out to be shared. That is the reframe that happened as I quoted to June the verses from the beginning of the twelfth chapter of Romans:

And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. ²Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

As I spoke, I became aware that when I thought of offering myself as a living sacrifice — I was picturing myself lying on a stone altar. I confess that the altar resembled an Aztec stone altar . . . where they would cut out the heart of the living person being sacrificed. Yikes! No wonder I could only occasionally get up the gumption to “offer myself” to You!

But, this morning You stepped in and transformed the “location” from a stone altar to YOUR LAP! Wow! You, The Creator of the Universe don’t just love us — You want to hold us in Your Lap — as St. Anne holds Mary! Oh, Dearly Beloved God! You want to hold each and every one of us in Your Lap!

Now, that is The Good News that cries out to be shared! Thank YOU!

Tagged with: Good News, living sacrifice, Love, re-imaging love, transformational images
Posted in growing toward up, Help me to see, hugs, lap time

Keeping My Focus on Gratitude

Posted on December 5, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

NYC from the Time Warner building: Photo from Diana Chang

Good Evening, God!

I got this photo from a dear friend who is visiting NYC with her husband. They are just seeing the sights — totally free!

I love the photo and it gave rise to several thoughts. The first was Wow! I’d LOVE to be THERE! Considering that I was totally traveled out after seven off island trips in the first nine months of this year — that was a good thing.

But, then I got to thinking, God. Hey! I’m here in Honolulu. I don’t really want to leave. It was just a FLASH WISH. Sort of a desire to WARP over to NYC — look around from the photo’s vantage point — and then WARP back. That would be fun, God. And I sort of hope I live long enough for that sort of Star Trek Transportation to happen.

Another thought was that looking at the photo is pretty close to being there. In fact, given the cold and the long flights and the jet lag, it might even be better.

My latest thought is how easy it is to fall into wishing — wishing for things we don’t have — or wishing for what we do have to be just a wee bit better. Oh my! That kind of wishing slips in and takes over . . . leaving me discontented and disagreeable. Yikes!

Hmm. Yes enjoying and appreciating photos is one thing. Sliding down into discontent is quite another. I do have so much to be thankful for — even my “perceived problems” could well be other people’s blessings. It’s all about Perspective, God! Please help me — please help me deepen my gratitude.

Tagged with: Flash Wishes, perfection, slipping into discontent
Posted in gratitude, Help me to see, Perspective

My Dysfunctional Illusion of Fearlessness

Posted on December 3, 2012 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us

Good Evening, God!

I love having books read to me, God. This wonderful book, Drive, by Daniel Pink goes over many recent studies on motivation, learning, and mastery — including Carol Dweck’s book Mindset. And, finally, after months of hearing the same message — over and over again — I am beginning to take it to heart.

Basically, the message to me is Don’t Be Afraid To Fail — or since I don’t get grades or evaluations — don’t be afraid of messing stuff up!

DANG! I just hate acknowledging how fearful I am, God! But, facing it and admitting it, is the place to begin. So, this evening I set about the task of removing the phrase The Upside of Being Sick from my blog’s header photo. The first step was watching the video on creating a new menu that the support guy had sent me. I watched it twice — then created a new menu three or four times before it took. Meanwhile, when it didn’t seem to take the first couple of times I deleted my header photo and replaced it with another. That didn’t fix it . . . but at least I like my new header.

Next I tackled my blog setup which has been stuck in html for the last week! What a pain! The support guy didn’t tell me how to change it back — he must have thought it was too basic. So, I googled it and got an instant answer. So simple to fix, once I thought to search the web.

What’s really embarrassing, God, is that back when I was teaching Seniors how to use the internet, I prided myself on my ability to reduce their fears. Ah, but to be able to help myself, I first had to let go of the illusion of fearlessness! Thank You for Your Help, God!