The Enduring Kindness of Boston

The kind woman who gave Kit his medal

The kind woman who gave Kit his medal

Good Night, God!

There are so many kind people in Boston . . . this woman didn’t just hand Kit his Boston Marathon medal, she placed it around his neck with a hug. The yellow bags in the background were the clothing bags that the runners couldn’t pick up the day the Marathon was stopped by two bomb blasts.

The next day everywhere we went people came up to Kit to tell him how sorry they were. They hoped he would come back next year. The manager at a California Pizza Kitchen comped us our lunch. McDonalds had stayed open all night with free food for the emergency workers.

Then this morning Kit and I and our hostess Lucy watched from her home on Cape Cod the Interfaith Service at the Holy Cross Cathedral. Each speaker hit just the note. But it was our President who said the words I remember best. He called the bombers “small and stunted” and they are. Only small and stunted people harm the innocent.

They are not monsters. They are small, stunted and lost in the Darkness. And as one of the speakers said — Darkness does not put out Darkness — only Light can put out Darkness. So then, we are called to be Lights in this World of ours.

We are called, God, to let Your Light flow through us. Called to reach out to our fellow human beings — extending respect, extending compassion, extending love.

Please, God, help us to overcome evil with Good!

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Posted in Caring, Compassion, connecting, Expand my Heart, God's Light, healing, Marathons

A Heartbreaking Event at the Boston Marathon

backed up marathoners after the bomb blasts

backed up marathoners after the bomb blasts

Good Evening God!

Oh, such an unreal day! At first, a great day with Kit doing well running the Boston Marathon. I waited for him with friends at the top of Heartbreak Hill (at mile 20.5) and even ran alongside for a minute or so. I was relieved and joyful.

So, I said “good-bye” to our friends and trotted down the hill so I could catch the subway (the T) waiting at the end of the line at Boston College. I was rushing because I wanted to get to the family meeting area by the time Kit finished. I didn’t want him waiting for me cold and shivering.

On the ride back I dozed — only to be awakened by the person behind me talking about explosions and “body parts”! Body parts!? That woke me up!

Shortly afterward, the subway came to a stop and we all had to get off. The Marathon was closed. The subway was closed. They directed us to move to wait for a shuttle bus. But, two of the persons around me, Marge and Louie, decided to walk and I thought that sounded like a very good idea — so I joined them. It felt very natural to want to join forces. We walked and after a while found ourselves walking with the “stopped” marathoners. After a while, Marge found her Marine Corps husband. Then Louie, who had done past marathons, decided to run in. I kept walking.

Using a fellow stranded runner’s iPhone, Kit called — Thank You God for his being able to call — and he and I agreed to walk back separately to our hotel. Kit was only half a mile from the finish line when the bombs went off. And immediately the police stopped the runners. No one knew if more bombs were coming. And in fact, God, two more unexploded devices were found!

So, surrounded by marathoners, I trudged back into downtown Boston. Shocked. Numb. Sorrowing. But, oh, so thankful after only an hour or two to be together with Kit! 

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Posted in gratitude, Prayer, thankfulness

The Night before Kit Runs the Boston Marathon

Image

The only flowering trees I’ve seen so far

Good Evening, God!

Thank You for flowering trees that promise — be it ever so quietly — the approach of Spring! I see Spring in Hawaii, too. But it comes in the brilliant yellow of the gold trees — it comes by showering my eyes with colors.

There are no biting winds for the colors to overcome. It is just a slight turning of the dial of climatic perfection. Mother Nature is overwhelmingly gracious in Hawaii — even her rain is gentle.

True, we have a very occasional hurricane or tsunami . . . but it has been decades since one of those, and so we short-term-minded humans have forgotten.

Things “not-in-our-lifetime” are not things at all. We can remember, albeit poorly. But to imagine that which we have never experienced? We fail. They are but words washing over us . . . or maybe photos or videos . . . but still having only a shadowy existence.

So, God, it is good to be here in Boston — all bundled up against the chilly spring winds and temperatures. It reminds me that I have been cold before. It makes me realize how fortunate I am to live in Hawaii. And as I sit here — feeling peaceful — I am only dimly aware of the anxiety that grabs ahold of me when my wonderful husband Kit runs a marathon.

Ah, but tomorrow morning, starting around 10:40 when Kit begins in the Third Wave of runners in the Boston Marathon I shall experience it again! If Kit’s per-mile times, which I can monitor on my iPhone, are as expected, Anxiety will sit quietly in check. But, if like in the Honolulu Marathon four months ago his times get progressively off, then Anxiety shall graband shake me until what little brain I have left comes loose. 

I worry that I have not enough Trust, God. Sigh. But, then I think how very much trust I must have to “let” Kit run at all. But, to stop him from doing what he loves . . . just to spare myself . . . what kind of love would that be?

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Posted in connecting

Springtime and Love in Boston

Teeagan peering out of Mr. Dooley's Irish Pub

Teeagan peering out of Mr. Dooley’s Irish Pub

Good Day, God!

After breakfasting this morning at Mr. Dooley’s Irish Pub in downtown Boston, I should be saying, “Top of the Morning to You.” My husband Kit and I were guests of a running friend Kit had met via the Internet. As before, Bob had invited fascinating folks for us to meet. (We treated that time.) Teagan (means beautiful in Irish) is the preschool daughter of one of the couples who were there. I caught her looking through Mr. Dooley’s window as Kit and I left to find a “T” (subway) station.

I had wanted a photo about the starting of Spring in Boston, and flowers in the omnipresent flower boxes seemed a good choice. And how much more springlike with a dear little girl in the photo!

Making new friends is one of the joys in coming to Boston for Kit to run the famous Boston Marathon. People on the street or in the “T” (subway) cars spontaneously start conversations. One young man wished Kit, “Good luck on the run tomorrow!” Then he did a double take and backed up to ask, “How old are you?” He shook his head when Kit said 78 — and almost groaned when he learned some of Kit’s past times were faster than his.

It’s fun being the wife of a minor celebrity, God. Well, it isn’t so much celebrity that matters as being noticed! It makes me think of my favorite quote from Paul Watzlawick — “The primary purpose of human communication is to confirm our existence as humans.”

Words are great, but a glance and a smile will do it, too. Maybe, God, we need to widen and deepen our definition of Love? Perhaps Loving Our Neighbor begins with noticing our neighbor.

Noticing, acknowledging and hearing — surely these are the first steps toward loving!

Posted in connecting

Kit and the Kolea

a Kolea in Longs parking lot

a Kolea in Longs parking lot

Good Day, God!

Here in Boston it’s almost 6 p.m. — in Honolulu it’s 12 noon — and my body is totally confused! But happy!  Happy to have arrived! Happy to be here in Boston for my wonderful husband Kit to run his 7th Boston Marathon.

Was it just yesterday that I saw this kolea standing in the Long’s parking lot? He was all dressed up in his mating plumage — almost ready to fly off to Alaska to find his mate. I’ve always been impressed by the Kolea flying from Hawaii to Alaska! Just as I am impressed by Kit running the 26.2 miles of a marathon.

I hadn’t thought to put the two together until I saw this kola in the parking lot. Indeed, the bird seemed preoccupied . . . not really noticing me . . . rather like Kit before he runs. Both of them seemingly focused on their upcoming activity!

Kit would love it if I ran, too. Part of me is attracted to the idea. That’s the part that lit up when I heard Discipline redefined as Freedom. But, that is not a very large part. Sigh. I guess it is the single-minded focus and time that would be required, God, that gives me pause. Well, that and a slight concern about knees, etc. For me to say yes to running would require me to say no to a whole lot of things that I am not wanting to say no to.

Hmmm. I got up to hang up a jacket a minute ago and the truth hit me on the side of the head. I am not exercising. I need to start doing weights and sit-ups and small stuff like that. I have time for that. I just don’t have the inclination. Now that is the place to start. Running may or may not ever emerge. But it would stand a much better chance if I simply started and started small. I need to be willing to be willing to receive Your Help, God!

 

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Posted in asking for help for myself, Changing, exercising, growing toward up

A Touching Beijing / Honolulu Moment

A morning at Waimanalo Beach Park

A morning at Waimanalo Beach Park

Good Evening, God!

This morning I got together with a long-time friend from Kaneohe, meeting at Waimanalo Beach Park. It was a halfway point, providing a lovely opportunity to sit outside and chat and pray and praise You. Such a beautiful world!

My friend had just gone to the loo when a busload of visitors from China was coming up from the beach — getting ready to go. It came to me that I should “acknowledge” their presence — so I looked up and caught the eye of one of the older women and smiled.

That was all it took! She circled back and indicated she wanted a picture of me. Then it came to her that she could sit in my friend’s chair and have her photo taken with me! What a treat! When our daughters were young, visitors from Japan loved to take their photos. Now, at last, here was my turn!  I gave a shaka sign —

Gesture raised fist with thumb and pinky lifted

Gesture raised fist with thumb and pinky lifted (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

a hand gesture of greeting, indicating all is cool . She put her arm around my shoulders — and we sat there smiling broadly while five or six young women took our photo.

It turned out that she was from Beijing and wanted to know where I was born and my age. She is just one year younger than I am. I managed to voice a shaky “nǐ haǒ,” a Chinese greeting, which caused mutual delight, and then they left.

It all happened so quickly I didn’t think to ask anyone to take a photo of us with my camera. There was no exchange of names or email addresses. But, I don’t need a photo to remember my mini “international” moment — and to appreciate the importance of a simple glance and smile. Thank You, God, for nudging me to look up and smile.

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Posted in connecting, connections, interactions, seeing

A Loving Mother Lion

Mother lion with one of her three cubs at the Honolulu Zoo

Mother lion with one of her three cubs at the Honolulu Zoo

Good Evening, God

I’ve been meaning to do a blog on this photo since I saw it last Tuesday in the newspaper’s front page. There is such bliss on that little cub’s face! A friend told me years ago: “To be fully loved as a little child is to be crowned with a golden crown that can never be taken away.”

I think that’s right, God. And I am wondering, do we human parents do a good enough job of conveying Your Love? Oops! Wrong question.

The key question is how might each one of us experience Your Love? Oh my! If only each one of us could feel loved by You, what a wonderful world this would be. I guess receiving love begins with being loved by our mothers. Fathers are important, of course. But, being loved and welcomed in the womb is the best place to begin.

Mothers — barring traumas, illnesses and abuse — are designed to love. Such marvelous hormones flood our systems. I remember it well. Sometimes I wish we Protestants made more of Mary. We need more of a female influence in our theology. I had a dear friend — very Protestant — who told me that during one illness she awoke calling out, “Mary, Mother of God, HELP ME!”

“Father God” just isn’t enough to fully fill my heart. So when I hear Jesus call you Abba — I think Daddy/Mommy. And I like that, God. And since You are like us, but OH SO MUCH MORE, I feel as if I am on the right path. Surely, You love each one of us even more than this mother lion loves her cubs.

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Posted in Families, LOVE, Mothers

Raising our Offspring and Ourselves

Mother Duck and her Duckling

Mother Duck and her Duckling

Good Evening, God!

I just came home from visiting my mom so Mothers are on my heart, God. This mother duck has only one duckling.  As I gazed at her, I hoped that she was a new mother who had only one duckling. One is so much easier to keep track of. I can still hear the agitated honking of a mother duck exhorting her eleven ducklings to keep close to her. Anxiety city!

Ah, to love is to experience a certain degree of anxiety — for ducks or humans. It takes energy to keep anxiety and worries at bay. Energy and Prayer!

I do pray for my Loved Ones when they are traveling or have a stressful event coming up. But, now that I think of it, I realize I do not pray for them routinely — putting them in Your Lap, every morning. How foolish of me, God!

When I was a child my father would tuck me in bed and then say the Lord’s Prayer with me. I would finish by blessing our family and our grandparents. I remember those prayers with great fondness, God. And I am wondering, why didn’t I do that for our three daughters?

I should have. Ah, God, I simply didn’t realize the vast scope of motherhood! And part of me is smiling — thinking I might not have become a mother if I had known! It was a clear case of ignorance being better than courage.

For I am thankful to be a mother — and now a grandmother. And in my wiser moments I am even thankful for all the mistakes I have made and am still making. Mistakes are how we learn. And my mistakes provide opportunities to forgive myself — and to seek and receive Your Forgiveness. Best of all, my mistakes help me grow in humility and compassion for all of us creatures.

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Posted in Faith, Families, Forgiven!, Prayer

The Future is NOW

Sunset at the Hau Tree Lanai -- Waikiki

Sunset at the Hau Tree Lanai — Waikiki

Good Evening, God!

Nanosecond by nanosecond, the future comes. A nanosecond isn’t much — so practically speaking the future is NOW.

That’s a new point of view for me. Thinking back, I guess the closest I ever let the Future get was Tomorrow. And the future as Next Week was even better.

Part of this changing mindset came from watching Keith Chen’s TED talk on how the structure of any language influences things as varied as our weight and our savings rate. It seems that if a language lacks a future tense — as in “it rains tomorrow” — the speaker behaves as if the future is close. And with the future close — one save more and overeats less.

As You know, God, I did not leap to apply this to myself. But, since my birthday March 30, my future is starting to get closer. It feels as if my Future and my Present are blurring and merging — wanting to become just a nanosecond apart.

The only time I can do something is now. Otherwise I’m  merely planning to do something.

So, I just spent  . . . INVESTED . . . 5 minutes in stretching. Then I drank another glass of water. Then I went down to help Kit finish the dishes. Next I did a calculation I was planning to do tomorrow. Now I’m smiling and trying to decide if I want to keep chatting with You or go sit in silence . . . opening myself to hearing. . . .

I’m back from a time of silence. What I saw, more than heard, was our Earth with its political borders as oozing wounds. I felt all the wars and killings back and forth over those boundaries. I felt a small drop of Your Overwhelming Compassion for us. And I felt called to pray for isolated North Korea.

I feel You changing my Sense of Time — and feel You stretching my Heart. Thank You.

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Posted in Changing, Perspective, Praying for our enemies, Silence, time

A Happy Birthday!

Dillingham Fountain from a distance

Dillingham Fountain from a distance

Good Afternoon, God!

A lovely day . . . with walks and talks and breakfast out . . .  and two trips to the local Hawaii Kai Farmers’ Market. And it is barely afternoon! It’s also my happy Birth Day.

I chose this photo, God, because it makes the fountain in the distance seem wilder and more random . . . more like life. And, it makes me think of what Jesus said in John 7:38: “Streams of living water will flow from deep within the person who believes in me.” I love that image . . . that promise.

But, we do need to dredge out Rocks of Regret, Resentment and Rage . . . to allow the waters  to flow. In me, the Water often trickles. I am semi-willfully blind to all the rocks I have buried, covered over . . . or made idols and altars of.

Ooooh. Those last few words surprised me. Have I made an Idol or an Altar of a Regret? Well, yes, of course I have. But it will take work to discover all the details. Actually, it will take Time Set Apart. It will take Prayer and Fasting. Fasting so my energy can go to digesting my past . . . instead of my lunch.

The point is to START! Yesterday on Good Friday I went for a 90 minute silent prayer walk with a friend in the woods — in complete silence. And, what did I hear from You?

I heard: “Burn Your Boats.” This clearly referred to three sailing ships encrusted in the ice of grief in my inner inland sea. Burn them? That is what generals do after they land their forces, so the soldiers cannot turn back. I cannot turn back either, can I God . . .

So, here is the Torch, God . . . let past failures burn . . . and let the ashes be replaced with the Oil of Gladness.

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Posted in being together in a compassionate presence, Failing, Holy Saturday, Prayer

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No Days Adhesives

Stained Glass, Glass Fusing and Mosaic Adhesives

Brené Brown

chatting and sometimes, listening

Rachel Naomi Remen

chatting and sometimes, listening

A Moment with God

chatting and sometimes, listening

Sacred Dance Guild Journal

Since 1958 articles by members & guests offer news about activities, history, Sacred Dance practices, profiles of Sacred Dancers, choreography, images & illustrations.

Victoria Paulsen

How to Step In -- Substitute Teaching