Having my Focus reset

Posted on February 17, 2013 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

A Water Lily at the Kuan Yin Temple at the Foster Garden

Good Day, God!

Oddly enough, Iʻm not embarrassed to be chatting with You in “public” but I am very reticent to talk about the rare occasions when You talk to me. I guess the societal view must have permeated my mind. All of this reminds me of Joan of Archʻs response to the English jailers who said to her, “Itʻs not God! Itʻs your imagination!”

Her reply was classic! “How ELSE would God speak to me except through my imagination!”

Well, that said, God, I will confess that on February 10th I heard a voice (in my head) saying, “Margie! I have something to tell you and I want you to go and write it down!” I got a pad and pen and heard: : “I want you to work every day on your/my stories — every day!“

When I asked “how much time?” the response was FIRST TIME — before email and errands and even before visiting your mom. Hmm. I just reread what I wrote down and see that I was told to write the time I spend on my stories on my calendar. Yikes! That means accountability! Yes, it does!

So far I have converted two of my old keynote stories into movies and put them on my webpage. The first one was Never Alone — which is a shortened version of how I coped with Pattyʻs illness and death. And the second one is Honuʻs Heart — which is about how most of us need to be heard into speaking — and if we donʻt speak we “drown in unspoken words.”

Thank You, God, for this command. I love working on my stories. Sometimes I feel they really help explain WHY You command us to do things. And understanding WHY makes me much more compliant.

Tagged with: coping with grief, hearing with our hearts, honoring my stories, understanding commandments
Posted in God's gifts, growing toward up, hearing myself, Stories

Surviving — Even Delighting — in Change

Posted on February 15, 2013 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Lani in front of an old Baobab tree

Good Evening, God!

A great thing about having dear friends visit is the inspiration it provides to visit new places. When my college roommate Lani visited recently from Indiana, we went to Foster Gardens — a botanical park adjacent to Honolulu’s Chinatown. I spent most of my time looking UP at enormously tall trees and checking our map to see what they were.

It was stimulating –rediscovering Foster Gardens and building a new mental of what’s in there.

I was thinking about that today as I talked with Virginia, a dear friend for years. She was a key volunteer with the Arcadia Retirement Residence Library, for which I served as consultant starting with its 1997 renovation. Now Arcadia is renovating again. Understandably, Virginia is not eager to go through the many changes involved in another renovation.

As we talked I remembered the book Deep Survival: Who Lives, Who Dies, and Why by Laurence Gonzales. In it I learned that young children often survive because they don’t have a “mental map” to fall off of. By seven years of age, most of us realize when we are lost and find it very stressful. I read the book 10 years ago when my mother was getting ready to move from her home of twenty years in Arizona into a retirement residence near us in Honolulu.

Talk about stressful! I thought about all the mental maps she would leave behind — and all the new mental maps she would have to build. So, I wrote my mom a story about it called Here Be Dragons, which started by noting that we all have mental maps. I ended by offering assurances that we can continue to build mental maps as we age — it just takes longer.

I find that a comforting thought, God. It’s important to give ourselves TIME to learn new things.

Tagged with: Deep Survival, Laurence Gonzales, mental maps, rebuilding mental maps, survival
Posted in Changing, Choosing to respond, learning, so much to learn, The difficulty of changing

Bed-Making 2.0: Putting Things Away

Posted on February 13, 2013 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Our bed — made every morning — thanks to Kit

Good Day, God!

Ash Wednesday — Lent — and my response is? For years, God, I left Lent in Kit’s hands. Actually, I left making our bed in Kit’s hands, too.

That’s a confession. I’m not like Kit, God. Kit has the gift of Discipline. And he has long held that a day that begins with making the bed is a Good Day.

I’ve finally come to understand and agree, and now I want to take it to the next step. The point of bed-making is that we willingly do what we know will be undone. We put things away that we know we will get out again tomorrow — or maybe even this afternoon. We clear the decks. We put things AWAY!

My bathroom counter — with 12 items removed and put away.

This has not been me, God. But, this Lent it is going to become me! I am going to put things away, right away! (Oops! I’m off to put a few things away! There! That’s better!)

What got me started was realizing that I was projecting my “faults” onto Kit. I want him to push in drawers and close cupboard doors. All the while, I am leaving my stuff strewn all over my bathroom counter, dresser, etc. Sigh. So, this Lent I am Giving Up Leaving Things OUT! Since it is Day One, I am off to a good start! Please notice my beautiful bathroom counter, God!

And, Yes, there is a deeper Spiritual Lesson here, God. Away can mean putting away, giving away and throwing away. I sense I am being called to do more giving (money, heart & time) and also more tossing (regrets, guilt and judgments). Let’s GO, God!

Tagged with: changing, Lent, personal responsibility, Putting Away
Posted in a hand up, Changing, choosing HARD, Choosing to respond, clean and tidy

Creating Supportive Orderly Frameworks

Posted on February 7, 2013 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Cyclamen still blooming after months in its pot

Good Morning, God!

My loving husband, Kit, came home with this pot of cyclamen several months ago — October, maybe? I was delighted but I remember saying, “It’s lovely but I’m afraid it won’t last a week!” However, much to my continuing surprise, two or three ice cubes a day have kept my cyclamen happy and blooming into February!

You say that it’s Daily habits that keep us blooming? Small ice cube-sized habits? Regularly and consistently applied?

YES!

Dang. Regular and systematic are not Value Laden Words for me.

THAT CAN CHANGE!

Sigh. I guess that is where change begins. It begins in expanding what I value. Like valuing small simple habits like putting things away — right away! I’m reminded of Gustave Flaubert’s quote that we must live like a bourgeoise to create like a madman. I found this translation online: “Be steady and well-ordered in your life so that you can be fierce and original in your work.”

So, order can be a supportive framework for creative work. I want a supportive framework. I need a supportive framework! And I want it to pay off in more time and energy for creative work. I am beginning to let go of the false dichotomy that I can be orderly or I can be creative.

I think in the past I felt that being organized would be a full-time job and that it wouldn’t leave time or energy to create. Sigh. That was a lie — as I guess most either/or “choices” are. I am feeling a lot more hopeful, God. And, with Your Help (and the help of my professional organizer), I am going to see building a supportive framework as a “Creative Act!” Thank You, God!

Tagged with: a both and mindset, creative frameworks, valuing order
Posted in accepting my ability to REDESIGN, accepting my need for help, Creating, Uncategorized

Clearing Out Piles — with Help

Posted on February 3, 2013 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

A Clear half of my Desk — Piles Processed

Good Morning, God!

I am sitting here in my home office looking over to the left and am BEAMING! No more piles! It is CLEAR! Not clear as in piles shifted or moved. Clear as in piles PROCESSED. All thanks to advice from a professional organizer.

It was sort of an accident, God. I had intended to hire this person for help in visiting my 98-year-old mom. At the same time, I did have a small fleeting awareness “I need help, too.” Maybe later?

Ah, but through an unforeseen twist I was the one who received the help. Help from this professional.

Years ago I had realized that Piles are Pending Items Leaking Energy. But yesterday, after the desk was cleared, I felt the reality of that wisdom. I felt good — lighter and energized and joyful!

The Organizer was kind and quick and imaginative — and, oh, yes — firm. I realized that my Mind needed help to make the decisions and take the actions required to process the piles. Some items had been pending — or postponed — for years!

A week or so ago, God, I seemed to hear You saying: “You ASK for My help — but you don’t RECEIVE it!” After yesterday, I realized that I had received Your Help! After all, mostly Your Help flows from and through our fellow human beings. I guess I must have missed that point! I must have been waiting for You to help me to do it myself! DUH!

Yes, I have to Ask, Seek and Knock. But then I have to open up and receive! You really do want all of us to receive!

Tagged with: needing help, Pending Items Leaking Energy, Piles, receiving help, recognizing help
Posted in a hand up, accepting my ability to REDESIGN, accepting my need for help, Humility or Needing Help!

A Two-Meal-Fast and Inner Processing

Posted on January 29, 2013 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Guess who’s in love with YELLOW

Good Evening. God!

Mostly, I want to say Thank You! Not just for the simple pleasure of finding yellow shoes and then, a few weeks later, a matching yellow top. Although COLORs do make me happy. But, for something much more significant.

Today you inspired me to do two-thirds of a day of fasting! I woke up late — after an 11 hour sleep — and made tea. Then I waited to be hungry. And waited. Since it had only been a day or two earlier that I had said that I needed to Fast and Pray, I took this lack of hunger as a gift.

First, I called a dear friend whose son faces severe health struggles. She and I prayed. Then I called another friend and prayed for her difficult situation. (It seemed a shame to waste a Fast.) The fast continued. When I visited my mom, I didn’t gobble up her left-over lunch. I confess, I often do that even when I have had lunch already.

Late in the afternoon, when I got home from my mom’s, I shared the concerns on my heart with my wonderful husband Kit. They had been there for some time but were too amorphous to put into words. Kit listened lovingly — and that really helped. And finding the words — speaking the words — took part of the load off my heart.

Yes, God, Shakespeare was right: Give sorrow words. The grief that does not speak Whispers the o’erfraught heart and bids it break.

Another thought! It seems that when I’m digesting food, I don’t have enough energy to digest feelings. Your gift of the Two Meal Fast really helped me process my thoughts and feelings. Thank You!

Tagged with: Finding the Words, grief, Prayer and Fasting, processing, Sorrows
Posted in fasting FOR someone, Prayer, responding to God's Spirit, speaking

99 year-old Bea Burglund faces eviction

Posted on January 24, 2013 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

One of Bea Burglund’s adoring dogs

Good Morning, God!

Oh, dear! How is it, God, that the Bank of America is evicting a 99 year old woman? I am sure that banks are evicting folks every day. But, one would think that at 99 year of age one would get just a bit more respect.

Business and Respect? Alas . . . I fear not.

Now, I would think (hope) that if the Bank of America’s CEO, Brian Moynihan actually heard of this case he would intervene! That hope is based on the fact that 1) individual human beings are mostly kind and understanding. 2) he would realize this is a terrible Black Eye on his bank and on Banking in general.

I only know about this because I have a good friend from high school who lives near Bea out in Newberry Springs and has been talking about Bea’s plight. To hear her tell it, God, there isn’t much of any reason that anyone would want land in Newberry Springs. It isn’t like there is gold on the land!

Anyway, I am sending this blog off to a B of A lawyer — in hope that maybe there is still Time and Will and Heart to let Bea live out her life undisturbed! Meanwhile, God, I just wanted to bring this to Your attention.

Tagged with: a 99 year old woman faces eviction, bank eviction, Capitalism and Christianity
Posted in connections, Guardians and Protectors, responding to God's Spirit, responsibility

Working on my Website and on Myself

Posted on January 22, 2013 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

A Bird of Paradise Flower carefully cropped to remove dead blooms from the photo

A photo of a Bird of Paradise Flower which I carefully cropped to remove dead blooms from the pictureMy

Good Evening, God!

I’ve been having a really satisfying time working on my website! I have patched together two “movies” from still photos. The first one was A Walk in Kapiolani Park and the second Dawn at Wawamalu Beach. Such fun!

But, as with most creative projects, there are technical difficulties. The major one is that the Apple Experts have been unable, as yet, to get extra music loops to load onto my GarageBand program. Trying, has consumed hours of my time and theirs. Still, God, I am grateful that paying a one-time fee enables me, for three years, to call for help.

Oops! A Nudge! Yes, You are reminding me that — except for Apple — I am not good at asking for help. Dang. Somewhere deep inside lies a Subprogram that believes I should be able to do everything without asking for help. . . . As I typed that just now I snorted! How STUPID! But, the doggone thing is hiding out of reach!

Oh! Yes, You are right, God. I CAN ask You to help me get rid of that dysfunctional sub-program. So I’m doing that now! And, now that I think of it: There are lots of dysfunctional subprograms I would like to get rid of. It would be wonderful to be able just ask You to clean them all out, all at once. But, sigh, I am pretty sure that I am supposed to ask for each one specifically.

More than that, God, I have to be willing to change and grow. I have to be willing to do the hard and (I fear) tedious work of building new habits and patterns. Please! Help me with that.

Tagged with: a do-it-myself mindset, building new habits, my need for help, needing to ASK for help
Posted in asking for help for myself, becoming the change I wish to see, being a beginner, hearing myself, responding to "nudges"

Save the DATE! March 7-9, 2013

Posted on January 19, 2013 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

HIM’s Honolulu Conference 3/7-9/13

Good Day, God!

I’m going over my 2013 calendar — reviewing my plans for the year. I’m excited by the upcoming Christian Conference in Honolulu March 7-9, sponsored by Hawaiian Islands Ministries (HIM). I’m lucky to live in Honolulu.

We’ll be hearing popular speakers like Tony Campolo. 58 speakers in all. The good news is that every session will be recorded, with CDs and MP3s available afterward.

The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman

One of the speakers I’m eager to hear is Gary Chapman — author of the Five Love Languages. The book has been enormously influential in my life. I thought I knew all about individual differences in how we express and experience love, but his book really opened my eyes!

Surprised by the Power of the Spirit by Jack Deere

Another MUST-hear speaker for me will be Jack Deere. I have heard him several times and watched him become more vulnerable and more compelling. Hearing about how his own experiences overcame his educational biases surely makes for convicting listening.

Every year there are speakers I don’t know — who turn out to have messages I need to hear.

The all-day pre-conference sessions on Thursday are a must for me, God. I’ll be going to the one on Prayer!

Please, God, I want a lot of folks to receive what Honolulu ’13 Conference has to offer. And I would REALLY LOVE it to have folks come from all over the world. They could come early to relax and then stay a few days after the three-day conference to let it all soak in — while they soak in the sun.

All they have to do is click on this Register Now link!

Tagged with: Christian Conference, Hawaiian Islands Ministries, inspirational speakers, The Word: Honolulu '13
Posted in breathing in Your Spirit, Celebrations, Faith, God wants to nourishes us, learning

New meanings for Upright

Posted on January 17, 2013 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

The morning Light and Shadows of January in Honolulu

Good Evening, God!

Today, an early morning walk with a dear friend and then a brief solo morning jog soothed me and cleared my head. Being with friends — being outdoors — both are therapeutic.

But the day shifted from soothing to challenging. I went with Kit to his chiropractor, Dr. Cracknell. Usually, I watch Kit get worked on. Aaah, but TODAY both of us were treated to an impromptu class.

It seems that nowadays NO ONE knows how to Stand, Sit or Walk. Blame it on school work or computers or the absence of strict parents and grandparents — the result is that we Westerners have our heads stuck forward. We are not like the African women who, thanks to perfect bodily alignment, can carry heavy pots on their heads.

During this “class,” Dr. Cracknell explained that if our head is one inch forward of plumb, we double the stress on our back muscles. If our head is two inches forward we quadruple our muscle stress. It is an exponential relationship. Yikes!

Well, understanding is not enough! Both Kit and I have to learn how to DO it. We have to find and strengthen the small muscles that are designed to do the constant work of holding us upright.

I just reread what I said — that it’s small muscles that work all the time to keep us Upright. Wow! That’s the same way we keep morally upright, isn’t it! It’s a constant flow of small choices — and small decisions — that helps keep us from big temptations. And, DUH! It is how we regulate our weight, too! And, oh yes, also our spending.

Aah, God, I am beginning to see that becoming upright affects all my many layers. Please help me!