Springtime and Love in Boston

Posted on April 14, 2013 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

Teeagan peering out of Mr. Dooley’s Irish Pub

Good Day, God!

After breakfasting this morning at Mr. Dooley’s Irish Pub in downtown Boston, I should be saying, “Top of the Morning to You.” My husband Kit and I were guests of a running friend Kit had met via the Internet. As before, Bob had invited fascinating folks for us to meet. (We treated that time.) Teagan (means beautiful in Irish) is the preschool daughter of one of the couples who were there. I caught her looking through Mr. Dooley’s window as Kit and I left to find a “T” (subway) station.

I had wanted a photo about the starting of Spring in Boston, and flowers in the omnipresent flower boxes seemed a good choice. And how much more springlike with a dear little girl in the photo!

Making new friends is one of the joys in coming to Boston for Kit to run the famous Boston Marathon. People on the street or in the “T” (subway) cars spontaneously start conversations. One young man wished Kit, “Good luck on the run tomorrow!” Then he did a double take and backed up to ask, “How old are you?” He shook his head when Kit said 78 — and almost groaned when he learned some of Kit’s past times were faster than his.

It’s fun being the wife of a minor celebrity, God. Well, it isn’t so much celebrity that matters as being noticed! It makes me think of my favorite quote from Paul Watzlawick — “The primary purpose of human communication is to confirm our existence as humans.”

Words are great, but a glance and a smile will do it, too. Maybe, God, we need to widen and deepen our definition of Love? Perhaps Loving Our Neighbor begins with noticing our neighbor.

Noticing, acknowledging and hearing — surely these are the first steps toward loving!

Posted in connecting

Kit and the Kolea

Posted on April 12, 2013 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

a Kolea in Longs parking lot

Good Day, God!

Here in Boston it’s almost 6 p.m. — in Honolulu it’s 12 noon — and my body is totally confused! But happy! Happy to have arrived! Happy to be here in Boston for my wonderful husband Kit to run his 7th Boston Marathon.

Was it just yesterday that I saw this kolea standing in the Long’s parking lot? He was all dressed up in his mating plumage — almost ready to fly off to Alaska to find his mate. I’ve always been impressed by the Kolea flying from Hawaii to Alaska! Just as I am impressed by Kit running the 26.2 miles of a marathon.

I hadn’t thought to put the two together until I saw this kola in the parking lot. Indeed, the bird seemed preoccupied . . . not really noticing me . . . rather like Kit before he runs. Both of them seemingly focused on their upcoming activity!

Kit would love it if I ran, too. Part of me is attracted to the idea. That’s the part that lit up when I heard Discipline redefined as Freedom. But, that is not a very large part. Sigh. I guess it is the single-minded focus and time that would be required, God, that gives me pause. Well, that and a slight concern about knees, etc. For me to say yes to running would require me to say no to a whole lot of things that I am not wanting to say no to.

Hmmm. I got up to hang up a jacket a minute ago and the truth hit me on the side of the head. I am not exercising. I need to start doing weights and sit-ups and small stuff like that. I have time for that. I just don’t have the inclination. Now that is the place to start. Running may or may not ever emerge. But it would stand a much better chance if I simply started and started small. I need to be willing to be willing to receive Your Help, God!

Tagged with: Boston Marathon, changing, exercise, Golden Plovers, Kolea, marathons
Posted in asking for help for myself, Changing, exercising, growing toward up

A Touching Beijing / Honolulu Moment

Posted on April 8, 2013 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

A morning at Waimanalo Beach Park

Good Evening, God!

This morning I got together with a long-time friend from Kaneohe, meeting at Waimanalo Beach Park. It was a halfway point, providing a lovely opportunity to sit outside and chat and pray and praise You. Such a beautiful world!

My friend had just gone to the loo when a busload of visitors from China was coming up from the beach — getting ready to go. It came to me that I should “acknowledge” their presence — so I looked up and caught the eye of one of the older women and smiled.

That was all it took! She circled back and indicated she wanted a picture of me. Then it came to her that she could sit in my friend’s chair and have her photo taken with me! What a treat! When our daughters were young, visitors from Japan loved to take their photos. Now, at last, here was my turn! I gave a shaka sign —

Gesture raised fist with thumb and pinky lifted (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

a hand gesture of greeting, indicating all is cool . She put her arm around my shoulders — and we sat there smiling broadly while five or six young women took our photo.

It turned out that she was from Beijing and wanted to know where I was born and my age. She is just one year younger than I am. I managed to voice a shaky “nǐ haǒ,” a Chinese greeting, which caused mutual delight, and then they left.

It all happened so quickly I didn’t think to ask anyone to take a photo of us with my camera. There was no exchange of names or email addresses. But, I don’t need a photo to remember my mini “international” moment — and to appreciate the importance of a simple glance and smile. Thank You, God, for nudging me to look up and smile.

Tagged with: a Smile, Beijing, Eye Contact, Honolulu, Waimanalo Beach
Posted in connecting, connections, interactions, seeing

A Loving Mother Lion

Posted on April 7, 2013 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

Mother lion with one of her three cubs at the Honolulu Zoo

Good Evening, God

I’ve been meaning to do a blog on this photo since I saw it last Tuesday in the newspaper’s front page. There is such bliss on that little cub’s face! A friend told me years ago: “To be fully loved as a little child is to be crowned with a golden crown that can never be taken away.”

I think that’s right, God. And I am wondering, do we human parents do a good enough job of conveying Your Love? Oops! Wrong question.

The key question is how might each one of us experience Your Love? Oh my! If only each one of us could feel loved by You, what a wonderful world this would be. I guess receiving love begins with being loved by our mothers. Fathers are important, of course. But, being loved and welcomed in the womb is the best place to begin.

Mothers — barring traumas, illnesses and abuse — are designed to love. Such marvelous hormones flood our systems. I remember it well. Sometimes I wish we Protestants made more of Mary. We need more of a female influence in our theology. I had a dear friend — very Protestant — who told me that during one illness she awoke calling out, “Mary, Mother of God, HELP ME!”

“Father God” just isn’t enough to fully fill my heart. So when I hear Jesus call you Abba — I think Daddy/Mommy. And I like that, God. And since You are like us, but OH SO MUCH MORE, I feel as if I am on the right path. Surely, You love each one of us even more than this mother lion loves her cubs.

Tagged with: a Loving God, Love, Mary, mother love, mother of Jesus
Posted in Families, LOVE, Mothers

Raising our Offspring and Ourselves

Posted on April 6, 2013 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Mother Duck and her Duckling

Good Evening, God!

I just came home from visiting my mom so Mothers are on my heart, God. This mother duck has only one duckling. As I gazed at her, I hoped that she was a new mother who had only one duckling. One is so much easier to keep track of. I can still hear the agitated honking of a mother duck exhorting her eleven ducklings to keep close to her. Anxiety city!

Ah, to love is to experience a certain degree of anxiety — for ducks or humans. It takes energy to keep anxiety and worries at bay. Energy and Prayer!

I do pray for my Loved Ones when they are traveling or have a stressful event coming up. But, now that I think of it, I realize I do not pray for them routinely — putting them in Your Lap, every morning. How foolish of me, God!

When I was a child my father would tuck me in bed and then say the Lord’s Prayer with me. I would finish by blessing our family and our grandparents. I remember those prayers with great fondness, God. And I am wondering, why didn’t I do that for our three daughters?

I should have. Ah, God, I simply didn’t realize the vast scope of motherhood! And part of me is smiling — thinking I might not have become a mother if I had known! It was a clear case of ignorance being better than courage.

For I am thankful to be a mother — and now a grandmother. And in my wiser moments I am even thankful for all the mistakes I have made and am still making. Mistakes are how we learn. And my mistakes provide opportunities to forgive myself — and to seek and receive Your Forgiveness. Best of all, my mistakes help me grow in humility and compassion for all of us creatures.

Tagged with: anxieties, ducklings, motherhood, Prayer
Posted in Faith, Families, Forgiven!, Prayer

The Future is NOW

Posted on April 1, 2013 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Sunset at the Hau Tree Lanai — Waikiki

Good Evening, God!

Nanosecond by nanosecond, the future comes. A nanosecond isn’t much — so practically speaking the future is NOW.

That’s a new point of view for me. Thinking back, I guess the closest I ever let the Future get was Tomorrow. And the future as Next Week was even better.

Part of this changing mindset came from watching Keith Chen’s TED talk on how the structure of any language influences things as varied as our weight and our savings rate. It seems that if a language lacks a future tense — as in “it rains tomorrow” — the speaker behaves as if the future is close. And with the future close — one save more and overeats less.

As You know, God, I did not leap to apply this to myself. But, since my birthday March 30, my future is starting to get closer. It feels as if my Future and my Present are blurring and merging — wanting to become just a nanosecond apart.

The only time I can do something is now. Otherwise I’m merely planning to do something.

So, I just spent . . . INVESTED . . . 5 minutes in stretching. Then I drank another glass of water. Then I went down to help Kit finish the dishes. Next I did a calculation I was planning to do tomorrow. Now I’m smiling and trying to decide if I want to keep chatting with You or go sit in silence . . . opening myself to hearing. . . .

I’m back from a time of silence. What I saw, more than heard, was our Earth with its political borders as oozing wounds. I felt all the wars and killings back and forth over those boundaries. I felt a small drop of Your Overwhelming Compassion for us. And I felt called to pray for isolated North Korea.

I feel You changing my Sense of Time — and feel You stretching my Heart. Thank You.

Tagged with: changing, compassion, Future, language, time
Posted in Changing, Perspective, Praying for our enemies, Silence, time

A Happy Birthday!

Posted on March 30, 2013 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

Dillingham Fountain from a distance

Good Afternoon, God!

A lovely day . . . with walks and talks and breakfast out . . . and two trips to the local Hawaii Kai Farmers’ Market. And it is barely afternoon! It’s also my happy Birth Day.

I chose this photo, God, because it makes the fountain in the distance seem wilder and more random . . . more like life. And, it makes me think of what Jesus said in John 7:38: “Streams of living water will flow from deep within the person who believes in me.” I love that image . . . that promise.

But, we do need to dredge out Rocks of Regret, Resentment and Rage . . . to allow the waters to flow. In me, the Water often trickles. I am semi-willfully blind to all the rocks I have buried, covered over . . . or made idols and altars of.

Ooooh. Those last few words surprised me. Have I made an Idol or an Altar of a Regret? Well, yes, of course I have. But it will take work to discover all the details. Actually, it will take Time Set Apart. It will take Prayer and Fasting. Fasting so my energy can go to digesting my past . . . instead of my lunch.

The point is to START! Yesterday on Good Friday I went for a 90 minute silent prayer walk with a friend in the woods — in complete silence. And, what did I hear from You?

I heard: “Burn Your Boats.” This clearly referred to three sailing ships encrusted in the ice of grief in my inner inland sea. Burn them? That is what generals do after they land their forces, so the soldiers cannot turn back. I cannot turn back either, can I God . . .

So, here is the Torch, God . . . let past failures burn . . . and let the ashes be replaced with the Oil of Gladness.

Tagged with: fasting, fountains, Prayer, promises, rivers of living waters, rocks of regret
Posted in being together in a compassionate presence, Failing, Holy Saturday, Prayer

What’s it take to Grow?

Posted on March 25, 2013 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

A new orchid on a rainy Palm Sunday

Good Evening, God!

Yesterday was a grey and rainy day — so the glowing purples of this orchid were especially appreciated. I’m getting “into” orchids, God. I now know enough to look for the orchids with two stalks. They are only slightly more expensive and the second stalk will bloom a bit later — extending the orchid’s time with blossoms.

Much to my delight I have now managed to get two of my orchids to have a second bloom without going dormant. Sunlight (I didn’t know they liked sunlight), daily ice cubes and clipping the stalk off to just above a live joint — these seem to do it.

Hmm. Pruning. I hadn’t realized that pruning was part of the process. That’s because I don’t like the whole idea of pruning. Pruning roses is OK. And I have no problem with pruning the small banyan growing in a pot in our car port. So? So, I guess I don’t like the idea of having my life and activities pruned.

Sigh. I am sitting here realizing that I don’t like limits. I don’t like being limited. I don’t like making the hard choices of: If This, then Not That. Gosh, God. That sounds so childish. Dang! It is childish, isn’t it.

And into my mind pops a character from Roald Dahl’s Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Veruca Salt perhaps? Whose refrain is I WANT IT and I WANT IT NOW!

Hmm. Wanting has a Never-Get-Filled-Up ring to it. Getting only satisfies for a little while. Then it’s on to another round of Wanting. Wanting Things, Wanting Goals . . . Wantings that cannot satisfy.

So, God, I’m rethinking Pruning . . . and Limits . . . and maybe even . . . going to bed early?

Tagged with: Hard Choices, Limits, orchids, pruning, Wanting
Posted in Changing, choosing HARD, growing toward up

Thoughts on Becoming

Posted on March 22, 2013 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

A hibiscus in June’s backyard

Good Evening, God!

Wednesday I saw this glowing hibiscus in my friend June’s backyard and zipped down to take several photos. By now, this hibiscus has closed up and gone. It lasted only a day. Yet, it was giving being a flower its all!

Yes, I like the idea of giving our all, to be what we are/can be. The trouble is, God, we humans aren’t exactly sure what that is. You seem to have designed us to be like snowflakes — no two the same. So, becoming for us isn’t like becoming a hibiscus blossom.

This is not an idle thought, God. I still feel I am very much about the Business of Becoming. The first part of my life seemed to be about becoming a whole series of “roles.” Being a daughter, becoming a student, becoming a friend, becoming a wife, becoming a mother.

Then it was about becoming a worker . . . in my case a librarian. All of these roles are still important to me. And while my roles don’t define me — they do allow me ways to extend and express myself.

Now I am deeper into Becoming. I go each week to talk to June, a trained Spiritual Director. She helps me, through compassionate listening, to hear my inner selves. The week I heard, from inside myself, “In your heart are many mansions.” That was totally unexpected. But, I sat with that thought and slowly realized two things: 1) my Heart is much bigger than I realized, and 2) I have walled most of it off with a “Berlin Wall” to protect myself from painful feelings.

My Sense of Self is deepening. I have a lot more Becoming to do. And I am so thankful, God!

Tagged with: Becoming, listening to myself, Sense of Self, Spiritual Direction
Posted in Abundant Life, Becoming FRESH from God's Hand, Compassion, hearing myself

A Good Day! A Good Life!

Posted on March 17, 2013 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Close up of a puakenikeni blossom

Good Evening, God!

Such a wonderful day! Church, breakfast with my wonderful husband Kit, and then off to work. Hmm. Work? Actually, I am having so much fun that “Work Party” would be a better description.

So Thank You, God! Thank You for a Job to do and great people to do it with! The retirement residence where I served as library consultant for 14 years called me back out of retirement to deal with the angst of RENOVATION! They will end up with a beautiful new library — but first they have to go through the trauma of “destroying” their old library. So, I got called into help them over the hurdles.

It helps God, that I am a Biological Optimist. To me, it just seems easier to Hope than not. But, then, I am not the one who in the last two years brought the Library up to just about Perfect! I’m not the creator . . . it is not my “baby.” When the Parent App is running it’s so easy for it to overwhelm us!

Mama Duck and ducklings

I saw this just yesterday while going for my Saturday morning walk. A Mama Duck was crossing over with eleven ducklings following her. She was headed to the pond on the other side of the oleander hedge and the chain link fence. Her ducklings followed close behind — except for one little fellow who had to be repeatedly called back to her. The ducklings popped right through the chain link fence. Not Mama!

Distressed Mama Duck

Up and down the fence she went — looking for an opening. All the time she was keeping her ducklings to her. Calling and Checking!

Did she fly over the fence? No . . . she wasn’t going to leave her ducklings!

She wasn’t Thinking Outside the Fence. She was totally caught up in her Mama Duck app. She didn’t have room or energy to remember that she could fly. I’ve been there, too, God!