Good Evening, God!
Wednesday I saw this glowing hibiscus in my friend June’s backyard and zipped down to take several photos. By now, this hibiscus has closed up and gone. It lasted only a day. Yet, it was giving being a flower its all!
Yes, I like the idea of giving our all, to be what we are/can be. The trouble is, God, we humans aren’t exactly sure what that is. You seem to have designed us to be like snowflakes — no two the same. So, becoming for us isn’t like becoming a hibiscus blossom.
This is not an idle thought, God. I still feel I am very much about the Business of Becoming. The first part of my life seemed to be about becoming a whole series of “roles.” Being a daughter, becoming a student, becoming a friend, becoming a wife, becoming a mother.
Then it was about becoming a worker . . . in my case a librarian. All of these roles are still important to me. And while my roles don’t define me — they do allow me ways to extend and express myself.
Now I am deeper into Becoming. I go each week to talk to June, a trained Spiritual Director. She helps me, through compassionate listening, to hear my inner selves. The week I heard, from inside myself, “In your heart are many mansions.” That was totally unexpected. But, I sat with that thought and slowly realized two things: 1) my Heart is much bigger than I realized, and 2) I have walled most of it off with a “Berlin Wall” to protect myself from painful feelings.
My Sense of Self is deepening. I have a lot more Becoming to do. And I am so thankful, God!