Making the Most of Home and Failures

Posted on May 2, 2013 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Panda Express to go -- eaten on the Hawaii Kai Marina

Panda Express dinner to go — eaten on the Hawaii Kai Marina

Good Morning, God!

We’re HOME! And yesterday I hit the road running. It was a day full of the things I love best — being with friends and family!

This morning I shall actually begin my re-running activity here at home in Honolulu. When I was sharing this with a friend she said (not unkindly) I’ve heard that before!

True, God, she has heard me say that before . . . but I think it was Winston Churchill who defined Success as “Going from one failure to the next with undiminished enthusiasm.”

I love new days and new beginnings. And if I am willing to learn from my failures then I do count them as successes. I think, for example of the night back in Bar Harbor, Maine when I wrestled with the loss of a beloved black sweater. I tossed and turned all night with waves of regret, self-recrimination and a sprinkling of rage — only very grudgingly offering up the Sacrifice (an act of Will, not Feelings) of Praise for the loss of my sweater. Finally, I arrived at a peaceful sense of release. The sweater had been “recycled” into my hands — surely I could recycle it into other hands. I could bless whoever found it and stop cursing myself for losing it.

A friend told me later that I had Passed the Test. I liked that, God, even if I had passed with a D+. But on further consideration I see that whole night of wrestling with Wanting and Releasing as a very special exercise — helping me to grow — if not up, then to grow closer to up.

Sigh. The Future holds many other opportunities for me to exercise “releasing Beloved Wants” into Your Hands. May the memory of the Black Sweater encourage me!

Tagged with: Exercises, Failure, Growing Up, home, Learning
Posted in growing toward up, Praise, Sacrifice, so much to learn

Traveling Time and Space

Posted on April 29, 2013 by a moment with god — 2 Comments

A farm fire pit on the 1838 circa Old Sturbridge Village

Good Evening, God!

Tomorrow we fly home . . . I’m ready, God! Really ready! Both my wonderful husband, Kit, and I have rested and mostly recovered from the Boston Marathon tragedy. Still, God, there is a certain amount of wear and tear involved in traveling.

Ah, but not as much wear and tear as earlier! On our trips Kit drives while I navigate. I love watching that small blue ball travel along the map on my iPhone! Now I know right away when we have made a wrong turn!

It’s so different from the life folks lived back in the 18oos. Kit and I took a trip back in time today when we visited Old Sturbridge Village which portrays farm life in 1838. One of the things that surprised me was this fire pit. It was used almost all year long. Big pots were hung over it for cooking, for heating water for laundry, making soap, boiling maple syrup, and cleaning the fleece from sheep so they could turn it into wool and then into clothing.

All those tasks were made more “real” by seeing this fire pit. Those tasks were a normal part of farm life. Gosh, my mother’s father grew up on a farm and one of his sisters made her own soap for years. Speaking of soap, one sign in the Village said that soap was just coming into use in the 1830s. Before that water and a good scrub was what they used. Yikes! No soap, no deodorant, no electricity . . . no iPhones!

And now I stop and try to imagine 2138 . . . I can’t even begin . . . even with the help of Star Trek. . .

So, thank You, God. Thank You that I live in This Time, and in This Place. And truly, the best part of traveling is coming home.

Tagged with: home, Old Sturbridge Village, Time Travel, traveling
Posted in God's Time, gratitude, Perspective, time

Effort vs Easy: A Joint Venture

Posted on April 28, 2013 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

Kit running hard at mile 20.5 of the Boston Marathon

Good Day, God!

This is such a happy photo of my amazing husband, Kit, but until now it didn’t seem right to share it. When I took this photo Kit was about five miles away from finishing the Boston Marathon. When he got within a mile of the finish line, two bomb blasts would shatter the experience for him and all of Boston.

But, today, I don’t want to write about bombs . . . I want to write in praise of Kit . . . and in praise of effort. Effort seems to be catching on these days. Marathons will always be the epitome of effort in my mind — and now they have been joined by ultra marathons and triathlons.

Effort takes grit, God. I used to think I didn’t have much grit. A friend sent me a twist on the old saying, “No Pain, No Gain!” It quotes a wise doctor saying, “No Pain . . .GOOD!” I got a good laugh. That has long been my philosophy.

Just this morning it came to me that both Kit and I exert fair bits of effort, but toward different goals. My energy goes into paying attention to people and circumstances. Kit’s focus goes into physical training . . . running. In conversations, he often fails to pay proper attention.

So — we have come to an agreement. I will start regular running in ernest. And Kit will work on focus and paying attention. Actually, we have both already started. This morning I logged my third run on this trip — a real achievement for me. Kit, later this morning, caught me putting something down randomly — instead of putting it away!

Sharing the challenge of expanding our areas of effort feels good, God. In fact, it feels better than good — it feels right!

Tagged with: Boston Marathon, effort, exercise, grit, paying attention
Posted in Energy, exercising, grit, growing toward up

Lost and Found in Bar Harbor, Maine

Posted on April 27, 2013 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

one of many bays and harbors in Acadia National Park

Good Morning, God!

The sunlight is bright on the water outside our room fronting Bar Harbor. My wonderful husband Kit has gone for a walk to take photos along the history-rich pathway that starts at the hotel. I have had another 10 hour night’s sleep. And I am happy!

Relaxed . . . Peaceful . . . Content.

But so often these feelings come only after a struggle. My struggle came the night we arrived here. After the car had been completely unloaded, my favorite sweater was missing. I had worn this sweater every day — and some nights — on our trip. I had bought it for $5 at a church rummage sale near Dartmouth College two years ago. It was a black cashmere zip-up cardigan — and I loved it.

My mind churned most of the night as I thought back to where I could have left it. Churning is a kind word for what my mind was doing. I was miserable! Self recrimination, regret, grief and anger are only a few of the emotions that were storming around inside me.

Finally, I attempted, God, to offer up the sacrifice of praise to You — praising You for the loss of the sweater. That was so hard! But after several efforts to offer up praise — in between dozing — it came to me that the Sweater had been “recycled” into my hands . . . and perhaps I could allow it to be “recycled” into other hands. By the end of that long, long night I had (mostly) opened my hands to pass on the sweater. And, I had also realized that the sweater represented all sorts of Other Losses in my Life — Past, Present and Pending.

So, here I am, God, right now in a peaceful inner harbor — trusting You — after that night of not trusting. Please help me to remember to Trust You sooner in the next storm!

And, as a lovely postscript — after calling L.L Bean the next morning to check their lost and found — I found my sweater on the floor of the back seat of our car.

Tagged with: grief, loss, praise, regret, sacrifice of praise
Posted in Anger, Grief, Praise, Prayer, Regret -- acknowledging and releasing it

Leaving Cape Cod

Posted on April 23, 2013 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

A Chickadee eating sunflower seeds out of my hand in the Beech Forest

Good Evening, God!

It was hard to leave Cape Cod, God. We spent two nights each with Lucy and then Floy, two friends made years ago. Actually, we ended up staying a third night with Floy. That was after she told me about Beech Forest at the tip of the Cape, where generations of chickadees have grown up eating seeds out of people’s hands. It was irresistible!

So we adjusted our plans and Floy drove us out to the top of the Cape — stopping for me to take photos along the way.

a chickadee flying away from eating out of my hand

A chickadee flying away after eating out of my hand.

Once there, the chickadees were waiting for us — and quickly lit on our hands — just long enough to snatch a seed and fly off. The feel of their little feet grasping my fingers was a thrill. Those fleeting contacts brought ripples of joy. Perhaps the writer who dubbed Pets as Vitamin P was right, God. Pets do center us. But, a connection with wild creatures seems even more powerful.

I’m smiling, God. I feel as if our visit to Cape Cod was just as brief as that of a chickadee on my hand. And we too, shall soon fly off home.

I’m writing from Andover, Mass., where Kit went to school more than 60 years ago. Years before females attended . . . and years before the school opened itself to broader spectrums of young people.

Hmm. We are not done opening ourselves, are we God. Or I should say I am not done. The world is so full of such wonderful things, . . . Thank You!

Tagged with: Beech Forest, Cape Cod, chickadees, opening, wild creatures
Posted in connecting, connections, friends, small meaningful moments, web of life

Shells, Seaweed and Seagulls

Posted on April 20, 2013 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

Seagulls at Nantucket Sound

Good Afternoon, God!

We’ve had a quiet day with a dear friend from long ago. A relaxing walk between the Bass River and Long Island Sound. A time of repose. It is good to rest, God. Good to come to a full stop and be at ease — after our Boston Marathon bombing trauma just five days ago.

I had thought I wanted to go to Nantucket Island. But perhaps not. I am at rest and happy to remain at rest. How good to be staying with friends — to enter into their worlds — worlds replete with birds and bird feeders. And, of course, the squirrels that eat the seeds that the birds drop.

I have had enough of the traumas of bombs and manhunts.

Kelp and shells at low tide

How good to focus on small things! To delight in simple treasures of shells and seaweed and seagulls. We three were alone on the walk . . . except for the birds and a very few fellow walkers.

So good to be in Cape Cod in the off season. And even better to be in Cape Cod with dear friends. I am so very thankful!

Tagged with: Cape Cod, Friends, recovery, rest, seagulls, seaweed
Posted in friends, rest, seeing

Evil in Our Small and Precious World

Posted on April 19, 2013 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

The Atlantic Ocean off of Cape CodGood Morning, God!

Yesterday we went to the ocean side of Cape Cod — peaceful and quiet — and then this morning we watched on TV the manhunt for the younger of the two Boston Marathon bombers. Such a sad and sobering contrast.

We heard the uncle of the bomber pleading for his nephew to turn himself in and ask for forgiveness. The uncle said that his nephew had brought shame on the family and on all the people of Chechnya. Dear God, please keep us from stigmatizing a whole group of people with the evil done by a few. The people of Chechnya have suffered themselves. All of us have suffered in one way or another.

I think of how a dear Cypriot neighbor in San Diego hated the Turks. And how our daughter Suzanne has a dear friend who is a Turk. Then there were the bombing done by the Irish Republican Army not that long ago — so much hating.

It seems to me, God, that Evil is very like a hermit crab. It scuttles under one shell or another to make its home. The crab merely “borrows” the shell. The shell is just a temporary home. So, then we all ought to be diligent — not letting Evil disguise itself as one of us — as one of Our People or one of Our Faith Traditions. We ought not share our “shells” with Evil.

Like the uncle we must speak out — begging the Small and Stunted and Confused to turn themselves in — to beg for forgiveness.

Hmm. Perhaps we ALL need to beg forgiveness as we have all taken our turn at hating and blaming. A sobering thought, God.

Tagged with: begging forgiveness, Evil as a hermit crab, speaking out
Posted in connecting, opportunities to forgive myself, Praying for our enemies, Rethinking, speaking

The Enduring Kindness of Boston

Posted on April 18, 2013 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

The kind woman who gave Kit his medal

Good Night, God!

There are so many kind people in Boston . . . this woman didn’t just hand Kit his Boston Marathon medal, she placed it around his neck with a hug. The yellow bags in the background were the clothing bags that the runners couldn’t pick up the day the Marathon was stopped by two bomb blasts.

The next day everywhere we went people came up to Kit to tell him how sorry they were. They hoped he would come back next year. The manager at a California Pizza Kitchen comped us our lunch. McDonalds had stayed open all night with free food for the emergency workers.

Then this morning Kit and I and our hostess Lucy watched from her home on Cape Cod the Interfaith Service at the Holy Cross Cathedral. Each speaker hit just the note. But it was our President who said the words I remember best. He called the bombers “small and stunted” and they are. Only small and stunted people harm the innocent.

They are not monsters. They are small, stunted and lost in the Darkness. And as one of the speakers said — Darkness does not put out Darkness — only Light can put out Darkness. So then, we are called to be Lights in this World of ours.

We are called, God, to let Your Light flow through us. Called to reach out to our fellow human beings — extending respect, extending compassion, extending love.

Please, God, help us to overcome evil with Good!

Tagged with: Boston Marathon 2013, community, compassion, kindness, small and stunted bombers
Posted in Caring, Compassion, connecting, Expand my Heart, God's Light, healing, Marathons

A Heartbreaking Event at the Boston Marathon

Posted on April 15, 2013 by a moment with god — 5 Comments

backed up marathoners after the bomb blasts

Good Evening God!

Oh, such an unreal day! At first, a great day with Kit doing well running the Boston Marathon. I waited for him with friends at the top of Heartbreak Hill (at mile 20.5) and even ran alongside for a minute or so. I was relieved and joyful.

So, I said “good-bye” to our friends and trotted down the hill so I could catch the subway (the T) waiting at the end of the line at Boston College. I was rushing because I wanted to get to the family meeting area by the time Kit finished. I didn’t want him waiting for me cold and shivering.

On the ride back I dozed — only to be awakened by the person behind me talking about explosions and “body parts”! Body parts!? That woke me up!

Shortly afterward, the subway came to a stop and we all had to get off. The Marathon was closed. The subway was closed. They directed us to move to wait for a shuttle bus. But, two of the persons around me, Marge and Louie, decided to walk and I thought that sounded like a very good idea — so I joined them. It felt very natural to want to join forces. We walked and after a while found ourselves walking with the “stopped” marathoners. After a while, Marge found her Marine Corps husband. Then Louie, who had done past marathons, decided to run in. I kept walking.

Using a fellow stranded runner’s iPhone, Kit called — Thank You God for his being able to call — and he and I agreed to walk back separately to our hotel. Kit was only half a mile from the finish line when the bombs went off. And immediately the police stopped the runners. No one knew if more bombs were coming. And in fact, God, two more unexploded devices were found!

So, surrounded by marathoners, I trudged back into downtown Boston. Shocked. Numb. Sorrowing. But, oh, so thankful after only an hour or two to be together with Kit!

Tagged with: Bomb attacks, Boston Marathon, Numbness, Terrorist attack, Trauma
Posted in gratitude, Prayer, thankfulness

The Night before Kit Runs the Boston Marathon

Posted on April 14, 2013 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

The only flowering trees I’ve seen so far

Good Evening, God!

Thank You for flowering trees that promise — be it ever so quietly — the approach of Spring! I see Spring in Hawaii, too. But it comes in the brilliant yellow of the gold trees — it comes by showering my eyes with colors.

There are no biting winds for the colors to overcome. It is just a slight turning of the dial of climatic perfection. Mother Nature is overwhelmingly gracious in Hawaii — even her rain is gentle.

True, we have a very occasional hurricane or tsunami . . . but it has been decades since one of those, and so we short-term-minded humans have forgotten.

Things “not-in-our-lifetime” are not things at all. We can remember, albeit poorly. But to imagine that which we have never experienced? We fail. They are but words washing over us . . . or maybe photos or videos . . . but still having only a shadowy existence.

So, God, it is good to be here in Boston — all bundled up against the chilly spring winds and temperatures. It reminds me that I have been cold before. It makes me realize how fortunate I am to live in Hawaii. And as I sit here — feeling peaceful — I am only dimly aware of the anxiety that grabs ahold of me when my wonderful husband Kit runs a marathon.

Ah, but tomorrow morning, starting around 10:40 when Kit begins in the Third Wave of runners in the Boston Marathon I shall experience it again! If Kit’s per-mile times, which I can monitor on my iPhone, are as expected, Anxiety will sit quietly in check. But, if like in the Honolulu Marathon four months ago his times get progressively off, then Anxiety shall graband shake me until what little brain I have left comes loose.

I worry that I have not enough Trust, God. Sigh. But, then I think how very much trust I must have to “let” Kit run at all. But, to stop him from doing what he loves . . . just to spare myself . . . what kind of love would that be?

Tagged with: anxiety, Love, marathons, Remembering and Imagining, Spring
Posted in connecting