Praising God — Pulling out the Stops!

Posted on February 3, 2014 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

photo of the console of the organ at the Atlantic City convention hall

Good Evening, God!

My grandmother was a church organist but her organs were never like this! And in looking up organs and organ stops on the web, I realize that I have only a very tiny grip on how it all works.

Ah, humility! But, I still, want to thank You, God, for the image of an Organ — as contrasted with a Piano.

Years ago — I think it was in a Living the Adventure class at church — we were talking about whether You, God, guide us in our choices.

All of a sudden I had the image of a piano with each key played representing a “choice.” I thought of those piano notes as specific decisions or choices. Most of us have our “play lists” that we default to. But, I do think, God, that sometimes You give us “New Songs” to play.

Then I thought of an organ. It does have keys but it also has something called Stops, which alter and augment the sounds produced. In church I love it when the organist pulls out the Trumpet stop. It does make my teeth rattle, but I love it!

Ah, God. You have made us with a Praise Stop, and a Rejoicing Stop, a Grateful Stop and many more stops. Those Stops add a Rich Emotional Layer to ordinary “notes” or decisions. And, it seems to me that we designed to use those Trusting Positive Grateful Stops.

Sometimes we have to Hear ourself grieve . . . hear and honor our wounded self suffering . . . before we can even remember we HAVE those stops. But they are always there inside us.

Please, God, help us to remember they are there — and help us use them!

Tagged with: Appreciating, AWE, organ stops, praise, rejoicing, responding
Posted in attunement, connecting, Music, Praise, Responding

In God’s Hands

Posted on January 31, 2014 by a moment with god — 3 Comments

Hovering — trying to draw how I felt last week at my spiritual directors

Good Evening, God!

Yesterday, at a Centering Prayer group that does Art afterward, I borrowed a friend’s pastels and tried to draw how I felt last week visiting June, my spiritual director.

I had shared with June a lot of complex and contradictory feelings and thoughts. And I told her, “I feel like I am thousands of Parts — Hovering — waiting to Reassemble.” I could almost see myself as thousands of little bits of light, suspended in the air, hovering patiently.

This drawing is both More and Less than what I “saw.” There are NOT a thousand points of light in it. And my drawing shows concentric rings of color surrounding the points. Rings that I had NOT seen. I’m choosing to view those Rings of Color as Your Spirit, God. I love picturing Your Spirit right there with me — Patiently Hovering Around me.

It feels as if You are showing me that Becoming me — does take Time. That is SUCH an encouraging thought in a society that imagines we are grown up at 21.

This week, talking with June, I felt much more “Assembled”. Brene Brown talks about how we humans go through cycles of Differentiation and then Integration. That feels RIGHT! So, this image of me Hovering, feels like a View of Me at the height of a Period of Differentiation.

And that reminds me of a prayer I wrote –in the middle of the night. I said that I felt that if I stopped feeling Responsible — for things I am NOT responsible for — that the World would “Drop and Crash and Fall into Pieces!”

And You said, “The Pieces need rearranging, anyway.”

Ah, well, yes, God. I surely need rearranging! And I’m in Your Handa!

Tagged with: Differentiation, growing toward up, Integration, responsibilities
Posted in accepting my need for help, asking for help for myself, authority over my life, Balancing and adjustments, connecting, growing toward up, responding to God's Spirit, responsibility

My Relationship with my Inner Dinosaur

Posted on January 29, 2014 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

T. Regina — my inner dinosaur

Good Evening, God!

I remember how upset I was years ago when I first learned that we humans have a recycled brain. Right there at the core is The Reptilian Brain basically unchanged. Around that is the mammalian brain — and then the thin layer of our Human Brain. It’s Too Thin, God! I remember being really upset with You about that.

But, years later, when our daughter Sandy was expecting our First Grandchild, Ian, the Reptile morphed! She “appeared” in the form of a Grandma Dinosaur — down in the lower levels of my brain. She was Very Concerned about The EGG, The EGG!

My representation of my Grandma Dinosaur — and because we live in Hawaii, she became a Tutusaurus.

I was pleased to discover and connect to her, God. It felt like we had a Female Bond that transcended species.

All of this makes me much more appreciative of my recycled Reptilian Brain. Of course, she can be fierce — like the little Tyrannosaurus Regina (female) on my synology backup disk.

But, Mothers have to have that Protective Quality! That’s how my Tutusaurus feels. As for me, God, having a more extended brain means that I have to decide — just HOW fierce — and WHEN we are really threatened.

Sigh, as I look at the News, it seems that T. Rex (or Regina) is active all over the World. People trying to protect their families or their Way of Life seem to call on T. Rex by reflex. The idea of Talking to our “enemies” — instead of trying to eliminate them — requires a higher level of thinking.

Gosh, God, I have a hard time doing it myself! I don’t come from a long line of Vikings for nothing! Respecting and integrating my Viking/Dinosaur selves with all the rest of me isn’t easy. But, it is an important and ongoing task, for me — and for our Species. Please help us!

Tagged with: Female Bonds, Reptilian Brain, T. Regina, T. Rex, Tutusaurus
Posted in connecting, connections, Guardians and Protectors, Mothers, Quieting my Lizard Brain, relationships, web of life

Apple, My Grandson, and Learning

Posted on January 26, 2014 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

Friday I started One on One at the Kahala Apple store

Good Evening, God!

I’m back from Tucson and my suitcase is unpacked . . . the laundry is done . . . and Friday I went to the gym AND to the Kahala Apple Store for my FIRST One on One lesson. And I went again this afternoon

I’m happy to have the time and energy to start on learning, again. I’m happy to be Exercising my brain . . . and at the gym, exercising my body. Use it or lose it sounds a lot different to me now than it did 30 years ago.

Anyway, after my trip to the Apple Store, it seemed only right that I got a text from our grandson Mark on Saturday with his blog in which I am mentioned. (Click here to see Mark’s blog.) I would say I star . . . except I am sort of a hapless heroine . . . the one Mark is trying to teach FaceTime to.

I wish Mark were here — for more lessons and because he makes everything more fun! But, thank goodness, the Apple People are standing by to play grandchild to me.

Thank you, Apple!

Thank you, Mark!

And thank You, God, for people willing and wanting to help!

Tagged with: Apple Stores, exercising, grandsons, Kahala Apple store, Learning, One on One
Posted in Belonging to each other, connecting, Families, family visits, gratitude, learning

A Restful Day — And the Rest of My Life

Posted on January 19, 2014 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

A Metal Coyote seen on my morning jog

Good Evening, God!

The Day is creeping to a close — the sun is setting in 3 more minutes. (Gosh, I love my Star Walk app.) Ian and I have had a nice drive to Whole Foods — chatting away.

That’s good, God, because Ian is rarely chatty. So when I can go for a walk with him — as we did yesterday — or a drive, it makes me happy.

This has been a Very Restful Day — partly because Ian is restful and partly because I am away from home and its fullness. I rarely have days that are THIS restful. Hmm. I wouldn’t want every day to be this restful. But, I surely want MORE restful days.

This has been a day of puttering: doing a 2.6 mile jog, floor exercises, stretching, balancing exercises, Centered, washed clothes, swept the patio, and bought the audiobook Smarter: The New Science of Building Brains.

I’m not aiming for smarter so much as holding steady. Brains need exercising too. And after Norman Doidge’s book, The Brain That Changes Itself, we now know that brains CAN generate new neurons and new connections. Kit and I will sign up, once again, for Lumosity when I get home. Of course, brain cells only grow with hard work and focused attention.

Actually, what I want is Something to help me generate options in what I do and how I live. That’s a bit more than Creativity. It is about Assessing, Weighing and Framing the Problem — or Problems.

It involves far more than simply Thinking. It’s about having enough Courage to See what is and enough Hope to Explore what might be.

Ah, God, both Courage and Hope have more to do with our relationship with You than they do with science. And for that, I am Thankful!

Tagged with: courage, Generating Options, Growing Brain Cells, hope, Thinking
Posted in accepting my ability to REDESIGN, hope, responsibility, Rethinking

Games Creatures Play

Posted on January 18, 2014 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

A Saguaro asking WHY?

Good Day, God!

I felt an immediate identification with this Saguaro which I “heard” saying “WHY, God? WHY! Or maybe it was “Help us, Please!”

Those, at least were a few of my thoughts as I gazed at its uplifted arms. I was out on a morning jog — or more precisely — my morning vitamin D intake and photo outing.

As I jogged and focused, jogged and focused — I was listening to the unedited cut of On Being for January 2, 2014. Author Marilynne Robinson and astrophysicist Marcelo Gleiser were guest of Krista Tippet and talking on the Mysteries of Being. It is a Wonderful Thing to hear Creators Conversing, God!

Creators of Fictional Worlds . . . creators of scientific hypotheses . . .and Krista who is a Creator of Conversations. Hmm, well YES, God, we are ALL designed to be creators

And since I had begun my morning by listening to Stuart Brown’s TED talk on the functions and importance of PLAY I got to thinking about the Games Creatures Play on Planet Earth.

Let me list a few: 1) World Domination (ideas or political entities) 2) Protect and Defend 3) Status Advancement 4) Wars Against 5) Survival 6) Winning 7) Saving the Poor of various kinds 8) etc.

Only, all of those seem much too SERIOUS to be called games or play. Perhaps, we humans have wandered off the whole idea of games and play as fun? One has only to look at the Olympians to see that a focus on Winning the Gold severely reduces joy and a sense of play.

Ah, God, would that we could swing back into engaging in True Play. Stuart Brown observed that in the Animal World creatures will voluntarily handicap themselves in order to extend the period of play. Play seems to have been designed for its own sake. It seems that Play, like Sleep, has positive functions that the Work Obsessed Mind cannot see.

The Saguaro and I are BOTH crying out, “PLEASE HELP US!”

Tagged with: Games, On Being, Play, Stuart Brown, TED Talks
Posted in a prayer for healing, accepting my ability to REDESIGN, Creating, Play, Prayer, reframing, setting my life in context

One Blockage Opened!

Posted on January 16, 2014 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

The Plumber’s Truck leaving after fixing the blockage

Good Evening, God!

What could be more satisfying than to see the back of a plumber’s truck — leaving after fixing the blockage in our pipes!

Two days ago — before we had water all over the laundry room floor — I would have laughed at that sentence! Ah, perspective!

So, Thank You, God, for all the things we take for granted! Washing machines that drain . . . Actually, water itself is something to be thankful for — especially here in the desert. We have so many, many things to be thankful for God!

And, yes, God, once again I am thinking of how Brene Brown says that when we are caught up by Fears — by Catastrophizing — we can Stop and Replace that Fear with Thoughts of What we have to be Thankful For. We can exercise that ability. We can act as Plumbers to our own Emotional Blockages!

But back to Gratitude. I am most thankful for the beloved people in my life! My wonderful husband, our marvelous daughters, our super grandsons, our super smart son (in-law), and our extended families! And then our life-giving friends.

When I was very young my father would say prayers with me after I was in bed and after the Lord’s Prayer I would ask You, God, to bless everyone in our family by name . . . one by one. It was lovely thing to do . . . a liturgical moment in my young life. Oh, I could do that NOW before I Center. Only now I want to add all our friends, too.

Ah, that idea is an Open Door — A Small Change I can make — A Change that opens me up to more Changes.

Yes,indeed, God, it isn’t just pipes that have Blockages!

Tagged with: being our own plumber, blockages, Brene Brown, Changes, gratitude, thankfulness
Posted in Changing, choices, Families, family visits, friends, gratitude, health

Hidden Doorways — Waiting . . .

Posted on January 14, 2014 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

hidden doorways

Good Evening, God!

Son (in-law) Dave has driven off to a meeting in Palm Springs and so dinner was simpler — left over veggies and pre-cooked meat from Whole Foods. Such a good life!

This gate caught my eye this morning on my jog. I’m sure I’ve run by it before but never noticed it. I stopped for a photo, but I didn’t go and peek inside. And, of course, didn’t even think about trying the handle.

I’m afraid that is pretty much the way I behave with all sorts of “doorways and opportunities” that surround me. And, God, now that I think about it — there are so many doorways and opportunities in our lives. Books, movies, classes, new friends . . . and old friends that we assume we “know.”

Routines do become ruts — and ruts just let us roll along with minimal effort. Ah, Effort! It does take energy and focus to SEE doors — and even more to find out what’s behind them. And as for Opening Doors? That’s even harder.

In a way, God, we all live in “Gated Communities” where we live lives voluntarily constrained and limited. If we were contained by the Ten Commandments and the Golden Rule that might be one thing. But, as for me, I seem to be constrained mostly by low expectations — I like to call it sloth — but, it’s more that I lack vision as to what LIFE can be.

Thankfully, our children and grandchildren have Higher Expectations for me. I promised daughter Suzanne I would take an Art Class and so today I signed up for Beginning Watercolors! And grandson Mark is teaching me to upload photos to Instagram. Meanwhile, daughter, Sandy, has nudged me on to the Commit App.

Small doors, perhaps, but they are helping me open to a more Expanded Self. Thank You, God. And thank you, family!

Tagged with: expanding, growing, Learning, opening doors, stretching
Posted in Abundant Life, Art, Becoming FRESH from God's Hand, connecting, Growth Opportunities

Saguaros and Stories — at the Golden Hour

Posted on January 13, 2014 by a moment with god — 2 Comments

moon & saguaro

Good Morning from Tucson, God!

I’m “on assignment” here with beloved daughter, Sandy, and her dear family. Older grandson Ian and I shall hold down the fort while Sandy, her husband Dave and son Mark travel to Disneyland for Sandy to run a half marathon.

It is lovely to be asked to help the ones we love! Lovely to be wanted — even as I miss my wonderful husband!

Yesterday, Dave asked if I would like to go for a walk in Sabino Canyon with him and Mark — it was just before what photographers call the Golden Hour. It was a lovely walk — full of tales from Mark’s first semester at college back East.

Mark has The Story Teller gene. He rows crew and he made a harrowing tale of regattas mishaps sound somewhat like a sit-com plot. Listening to him reminding me of how Brene Brown says that when we tell our story we can control the outcome.

Ah, we all have stories, God. And it is healing for us to tell them — to share them with folks who will laugh with us and not at us. But, Dr. Brene Brown cautions about only sharing our “Shame Stories” with people who have shown themselves worthy (trustworthy) of hearing them.

Of course, Mark’s story was NOT a “shame story” and that in itself is A JOY! Because research says that Shame is totally Toxic. Guilt, on the other hand is Productive. Guilt is about making mistakes — we can then repent and see about making amends. Shame, however, is about Being a Mistake — being BAD. Shame damages everyone near it.

As You have told us, God: All of us have sinned (made mistakes) and fallen short of Your Glory. Please help me to accept Your Help and turn toward You and– maybe even, make amends.

Tagged with: Amends, healing, mistakes, Repentance, Story Tellers, Toxic Shame
Posted in being together in a compassionate presence, connecting, family visits, healing, self care as self compassion and humility, Sharing

Rainbows and Promises and Extreme Weather

Posted on January 9, 2014 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

A morning rainbow in our valley

Good Afternoon, God!

My wonderful husband Kit came home from his Rotary meeting this morning yelling “RAINBOW!, RAINBOW!” and sure enough there was a rainbow right inside our valley.

I love rainbows. I love the fact that they don’t last. And that they come unexpectedly and joyfully.

They are the sign of a Promise from You — a promise made after the Great Flood — a promise that You wouldn’t do another flood.

Sigh. It looks as if You won’t have to flood the Earth. We are slowly but surely creating our own Flood.

Every day we are adding to the Greenhouse Effect — CO2, particulate matter, etc. All of it keeping more sunlight from leaving our atmosphere. We have set in motion a positive feedback loop. Each degree warmer means more meltwater from glaciers and the poles flowing into our oceans. It means the melting of the permafrost which then releases methane gases into the air — gases that will speed the warming even faster than carson dioxide does.

And warmer oceans mean Higher Sea Levels and Stronger Storms and more Extremes in our weather patterns. Our world will get much colder as well as much warmer.

How are we to respond? There ARE people thinking and planning. But, most of us really don’t want to think about it. It’s a problem that is both Too Big and (for now) Too Slow. What can I do? What can WE do as a Species?

You have designed us to care about one another — to reach out during disasters. But, not if we are divided into hundreds of USes and THEMs. Not if we are blaming and judging or — and some people still are — denying there are problems.

So, God, please pour out a lot more of Your Holy Spirit on each of us. Help us to work together — one busy and multiplying Species on one small, warming World.