Procrustean beds and “home furnishings”

Posted on December 17, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

an impressive four poster bed

Good Morning, God!

I’m up early — thinking about beds. Our main guest bed is about 45 years old and we HAVE gotten a memory foam cover for it. BUT, Kit’s brother called me in after his first night’s visit to explain to me that there was “something wrong” with the bed. He thought part of it had collapsed. I’m afraid I just sighed, and commiserated. Suz just sleeps on the floor — on another mattress.

Actually, I don’t like OUR bed either. We, too, have added a memory foam cover which has made it, mostly, OK. Perhaps that is why I woke up in the middle of the night with the word PROCRUSTEAN in my mind — as in procrustean bed. I looked it up, God. It goes back to Greek mythology and the story of Procrustes who offered travelers a “night” in his magical bed — a bed that was always the “right size” for whoever slept in it.

Procrustes achieved the goal of having bed and guest match — not by adjusting the bed — but by “adjusting” the guest. Short guests were STRETCHED into fitting. Tall guests were CUT into fitting. It’s rather gruesome story to ponder in the middle of the night, God!

Did it come from You? Because, now I “see” that both families and cultures do operate their own versions of “Procrustean Beds.” “Traits” that don’t “FIT” are excised. It begins with “good manners” and moves on to how we speak and carry ourselves — do we smile, or not? There are EXPECTATIONS of what it means to be both male and female. Ah, yes, and Introverts are STRETCHED into resembling EXTROVERTS — or visa versa — depending on the culture.

Please, God, help us with this compulsion to make ourselves and others FIT into our family’s or culture’s beds!

Posted in adjusting, becoming the change I wish to see, being together in a compassionate presence, courage to see myself, Expand my Heart

Paris in Photos, Paris in Memory — Extroverts and Introverts

Posted on December 16, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Paris in the rain -- from the web

Good Morning, God!

How amazingly diverse are we human beings. Suz is here, visiting — just from Paris where she stayed for 30 days. She immersed herself in the French language — bought French guide books to restaurants — and spoke only French. She has hundreds of MEMORIES. Memories she is still working with as she constructs her “narrative” of her month in Paris.

Now, God, I would have come home with thousands of photos — and just a few memories. I suspect that comes from my being an extrovert. And as for speaking French? Impossible! I am sitting here, feeling just a trifle shallow — or as Suz has said, not so very NUANCED. Ah well.

Actually, if I were plunged into Paris for a month — alone — I don’t think I would have a good time. I could feel that in the way ALONE reverberated me. No family? No friends? ALONE?

Now, God, it isn’t that I don’t like myself or my own company — or time with YOU. I like, and need, time alone. But, for me that is a breather — not the stuff of life. Hmmm. I’m thinking, God. Pondering life as an introvert. In general, I do prefer one on one conversations. But, that doesn’t make me an introvert, does it!

Perhaps I should read the book on the Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World? Hmm. I can see, God, that there are LOTS of books aimed at helping introverts cope in what IS an extroverts’ world. Is it only America that has extroversion as the norm?

Thoughts to ponder as I go off to join Kit at a Rotary meeting!

Posted in Diversity, Expand my Heart, interactions, Introverts

A New Day: My To Do List and God’s

Posted on December 15, 2010 by a moment with god — 1 Comment

Dawn through a filter on 12/12/10

Good Morning, God!

A NEW DAY! Hurrah! Of course,there are THINGS STILL UNDONE piled on my desk. Gosh, things I “thought” I had done are popping up. Ah yes. A new day. But, today Suzanne arrives and I rejoice! Thank You, God!

Actually, I think part of my feeling so good is that SOME things have gotten done. I found my “lost” basket. Picked up the loan of a “classic nook” and delivered my “book bill” one day early. And I now feel as if I only have 48 things TO DO.

I remember when it came to me, God, that I didn’t really have an infinite number of things to do. I probably only had 50 things to do! ONLY 50 — a manageable number. Mind You, God, more things come IN to add to my list. But, still, when I look “inside” for the number — it is only 48. Smile. Progress!

Now I am off to shower, dress, and drive off to prayer and work for a few hours. The “work” is part of my “meaningful participation” in the world. I love it. I love having “Things to DO.” Now, I hear a small word — it isn’t the DOING that matters. What MATTERS is all the small interactions with the people I meet and cross paths with.

Hmmm. As I cross things off My LIST, God, help me remember that YOUR WORK is in my hearing and seeing and affirming the people around me — not the stuff on my list.

Posted in acknowledging another's existence, background / foreground questions, Hearing, listening, seeing

Stress, Naps and Our Bodies

Posted on December 14, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Sunset and a sunset cruise ship off the Hau Tree Lanai

Good Morning, God!

It has been NAP TIME the last two days. A two hour nap after the marathon and just a one hour nap yesterday. Today? Another nap, I hope. I have to smile at myself, God. I guess I was a little short on TRUST this Marathon because I am so exhausted now that it is over. I “borrowed” from my Body’s Bank. And now it wants it to be paid back with interest.

All of this stress over Kit running A MARATHON! Some people’s spouses have cancer. And in the World, People have lost their jobs and their homes. Others live in refugee camps. And others are in danger of cholera. REALLY! I’m embarrassed, God.

It is just that what we experience is the OVERFLOW of our cup. My cup is pretty small — not large. But it did overflow this last week. And, God, may my experience be a reminder to me. Stress is a BODY thing. You can’t “talk” someone out of stress. What the Body needs is “being with” time. Being heard, being touched, being hugged — this is Body Talk.

It comes to me, God, that You made RULES to help ensure that we care for our bodies. Lots of rules on what we eat. Rules about leaving some of our harvest for the poor so they can eat. Rules about REST. WE ARE FLESH, God. And I would do well to be MORE MINDFUL of that.

So, now, God, I shall rise and shower and go gently through my day. Going slowly with YOU. So thankful to be HEARD.

Posted in Borrowing from the Body's Bank, Hearing, hugs, lying fallow, Perspective, Stress

Back on the Wagon, AGAIN!

Posted on December 13, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Dr. Richard Johnson, author of the Sugar Fix

Good Morning, God!

And Thank You! I am now officially BACK ON THE WAGON — off of sugar and grains and stuff that turns instantly into sugar. I must say watching Dr. Johnson’s video on Dr. Mercola was DISTRESSING! It is one thing to know sugar is bad for us. It is quite another to hear the details of HOW it harms us.

The chemical steps seem to be that Fructose breaks down quickly into a variety of waste products — one of them being uric acid — that’s the one that causes gout. But it now appears that uric acid ALSO inhibits nitric oxide and leads to increased blood pressure, kidney disease, obesity, diabetes, fatty liver, elevated triglycerides, etc.

Actually, God, what had the biggest impact on me was the idea that fructose — and high fructose corn syrup — depletes energy so that one doesn’t feel like exercising. One feels like eating. One feels like eating something SWEET!

After weeks of having just a “little of this” and just a “little more of that” I “suddenly” found myself eating everything in sight. The Sugar Snake was OUT of her CAGE. I felt helpless.

But, I think YOU must have helped. Because I sort of accidentally stumbled on these videos of Dr. Johnson AND I actually took the time to watch both videos — 15 minutes worth. That was so unlikely, God. I give You the credit.

Once again, I am vowing to take care of myself. Vowing to be The Good Parent for myself. Please, God, help me keep my focus — and to stay on the upward helix!

Posted in Humility or Needing Help!, living within limits, loving limits, self care as self compassion and humility, Temptation, thankfulness

Off to see Kit

Posted on December 12, 2010 by a moment with god — 2 Comments

Kit approaching us at mile 16

Good Morning, God!

Wheee. . . A STRESSFUL TIME! Kit and I agreed that we would let the doctor make the call on whether Kit ran this year’s Honolulu Marathon or not. Because of a staph infection on his left leg on Thanksgiving, God, I was for NO GO.

But, much to Kit’s joy the doctor said SURE! RUN!

Thank goodness, God, Sandy called to say “Dad has passed the half way point and is on track for a 4:45 marathon.” And when Kit arrived he said, “I’m slow but I’m feeling GREAT.”

Thanks, God!

Now, God, please KEEP ON HELPING KIT.

I am off on the long slow trek to drive out of Hawaii Kai and give Kit a BIG HUG!

Kit telling his brother, Dick, and Larie that he's feeling great

Posted in connections, LOVE, Prayer, Trusting God

Outsourcing our Worries — Prayer?

Posted on December 11, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Choke by Sian Beilock

Good Morning, God!

I don’t think I’ll read this book, God, but I really enjoyed the article about Sian Beilock’s research in Discover Magazine.

Choke isn’t about failing to do our best — Choke is about falling into the abyss of suboptimal performance. A lot of her research shows that one cause of choking is having the Mind interfere with tasks that belong to the Body. Another point the article makes is that when we are doing a cognitively demanding job — like responding to on-the-spot questions — then if we add “worrying about screwing up,” we run out of brainpower.

That point really rang true for me, God. When I took tests, I tried hard to stay IN the test. If I let my mind step out to observe how I was doing, my performance DROPPED. It’s like we can only have ONE focus point.

But what I like BEST in the article, God, is the idea of writing out our worries. “The idea is that you cognitively outsource your worries to the page. Writing about worries for 10 minutes right before taking a standardized test is really beneficial.”

WOW! I LOVE that idea, God! I love the idea that I can clean up my mind by writing stuff down — OUTSOURCING IT TO THE PAGE! I journal, God. But, I haven’t ever considered the possibility of engaging in constructive worrying. That sounds like and oxymoron. But now I can see that it would be like vacuuming up my worries and depositing them on a page. Then, I would give the PAGE to YOU! Burning it?

Maybe the real value is that I would be LISTENING to MYSELF. Giving myself that Basic Respect?

Posted in choices, Prayer, respect, Worries

Christmas is Coming — Joy is Here

Posted on December 10, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Christmas wreath at the Oahu Country Club

Good Morning, God!

The rain held off last night and we had a lovely “family dinner” up at the OCC. It was really a Stanford Club function, but we — plus Kit’s brother, RC, and Larie and Martha Lee — had our own table. Martha Lee has been family since she was a neighbor of Kit’s when they were little kids. Thank YOU, God! Thank YOU for friends that have BECOME family — and for family that have become friends.

Connections are so important, God! Hearing one another — and being heard — that is the BEST of gifts. Accepting one another, accepting ourselves, as we ARE. Oddly enough, acceptance of what IS maybe well be where CHANGE begins.

And now I am yawning, God. I have gotten up early to have a few minutes with You. Mostly, I just wanted to say THANK YOU. Now the sound of the rain is lulling me back into sleep. I shall return to bed for a bit more sleep and then arise — rejoicing at a New Day. Thankful for family. Thankful for Friends. THANKFUL!

Posted in connections, Conversations, family visits, gratitude, thankfulness

Seasons of Snow and Expectations of CHANGE

Posted on December 9, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

Ireland with SNOW on 12/4/10

Good Morning, God!

Here is lovely Ireland — almost totally covered in snow. I suspect they feel like Seattle feels when a rare snow fall hits. I’m sure that there are some folks saying. “SEE! Where is the Global Warming?” I wish they were right! It would be better if we called it Global Weirding.

Our world is so delicately balanced, God, that it doesn’t take much to tip us over into another Ice Age. I think I have that right — we have been in a warm “between” period for the last 12,000 years — the Holocene. But ice is “standard.” One possible scenario is that the fresh water coming off of the melting Greenland glaciers submerges the warming Gulf Stream and it gets COLD again.

But, we really don’t know what YOU have in store for us, God. It is tempting to disregard science and go on doing what we are doing. In fact, that is pretty much what almost all of us ARE doing.

This is such a lovely world. And I live on such a special part of it. As Mark Twain said about Hawaii, we are “The loveliest fleet of islands that lies anchored in any ocean.” So here I am — oscillating between great thankfulness — and mild anxiety. Well, perhaps on occasion it is more than mild anxiety, God.

And so I go back to the basics — We love BECAUSE You FIRST loved us. And I pull my Mind back from ASSORTED FUTURES and focus on NOW. I am so thankful for the Gift of Life. For being. And then I ask myself HOW shall I live — and WHO CAN I SHARE YOUR LOVE WITH? Help me, God, with TODAY.

Posted in background / foreground questions, Balancing and adjustments, climate changes, our small blue dot, thankfulness

Other Vantage Points — and Processing

Posted on December 8, 2010 by a moment with god — Leave a comment

The Eastern End of Honolulu

Good Morning, God!

It’s fun to see things from different vantage points. Looking at this photo I can see where we live and I can see where my Mom lives. This photo is from a site called the Gateway to Astronaut Photography of Earth.

Kit’s brother, RC, and wife, Larie, are arriving today. Aiee! Still, knowing that our comfortable albeit cluttered home was going to be seen by them — helped ME to SEE the clutter and piles. “Seeing” through their eyes gave me another vantage point. And that has motivated me to at least move STUFF out of the common area.

My piles are not yet all processed. I am reluctant to just PUT THEM IN THE TRASH. WHY is that, God? I want to take a “last look” and then I forget that I don’t have to do EVERYTHING — or READ everything! I am taking books in this morning to share. Sharing helps.

Hmmm. It comes to me that I have INNER PILES, too. Not nearly as many as I had before going to Jacksonville Florida to the Christian Healing Ministries organization and spending 90 minutes confessing everything I could think of!

Wow, God! Total strangers that were willing to hear me in love and anonymity. Of which the latter was more important. Too bad EVERYONE can’t have that opportunity! Thank YOU, for that GIFT, God!

Thank You, also, for reminding me that I can’t move my inner piles out of Your sight. And reminding me that you LONG TO HELP ME — TO HELP ALL OF US — PROCESS PAST PILES.

Posted in A Spiritual Spring Cleaning, accepting my need for help, processing on deeper levels, Vantage Points