Good Morning, God
I will be off soon to visit my wonderful husband, Kit, in the Care Center of Honolulu. I really wanted him HOME with me. Because, it isn’t just “LOVE” . . . it is a very primal attachment! In sixty three years this has been the second longest time apart. Sigh. . . however, I am slowly realizing that it would have drained my batteries past any healthy recharging if I had been allowed to continue being with him.
This is not something that I wanted to know or face. My atavistic instinct was/is to STAY TOGETHER . . . rather like the captain going down with her ship, I guess. I’m smiling, God. Laughing and crying seem to be part of this amazing series of “adjustments” as we enter the last portion of our lives. UPS and DOWNs ABOUND!
Yes, God, this being human is an amazing ride! What an understatement! I have been devouring the book by Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor on Whole Brain Living. I knew my left and right brains “thought” differently, but I had no idea that they FELT differently! Imagine! TWO amygdalae — the left one acting as a bridge across time to assess the level of danger. The right one — staying in the NOW to assess danger. Jill creates /four Characters to help us get a somewhat better grip on what ALL is going on inside our brain. WOW! Fortunately daughter Sandy is joining me in our quest for understanding and Suz comes in with Jungian wisdom. How blessed I am with our beloved daughters!!!
And then yesterday while we were together with Kit, our hanai daughter, Michelle, gave me Henri Nouwen’s book Life of the Beloved: Spiritual Living in a Secular World. And, there it was so simply put. You love us, God. You see us as Your Beloved. Each and every one of us. ONLY YOU CAN DO THAT! I am only sometimes apprehended by that reality. Just a moment now and then . . . as I return. . . slowly . . . to the NOW . . .
Slowly returning to the NOW in which YOU DWELL . . . embracing each tiny moment as it is . . . relaxing into Your Love . . .breathing in . . . being breathed . . . and welcoming Your Indwelling Spirit. Accepting Your Love.
Holding it tight as I move on to yet another transition and adjustment . . .