Good Evening, God!
In the past I have referred to Resentments as Rocks. They were big, like rocks and seemingly unmovable. They were large big negative lumps in my past. Now, all this is changing!
The other morning my wonderful husband Kit and I discussed his father’s habit of “going on and on”. Past a certain point, an on-going diatribe can become verbal abuse. Kit’s dad consistently passed that point. But, Kit’s mother said nothing. She never pointed out that enough had been said. Never said he was giving her a headache. And ultimately . . . she became resentful.
It has taken me decades! But, I am coming to see that my resentments are almost entirely due to my failure to see that I have/had the power to end or reduce the actions causing resentment. That sounds simple . . . just SEE we have power . . . and use it! But, looking back at Kit’s mother — who had been raised in New England — I can see how her inner rules on how to be a good wife — absolutely closed her eyes to her power to speak on her own behalf.
Sigh, our cultural rules are so often invisible to us . . . and to others in our own culture! Just the other day my marvelous spiritual director was commenting on how tightly tied I was to my WASP culture. Thank You, God, she is not a WASP.
So, now I am working on an “assessment” of the powers I have . . . could have . . . might have. . . to see what a lot more freedom might look like. Galatians 5 talks about how we have been set free. I love that chapter. But, it is only now that I am starting to see all the many ways in which I have been bound … constrained. Yikes!