Close to Christmas

June entering service

Good Evening, God!

I love that verse in Revelations where Jesus says “I stand at the door and knock. . .” I love it because it speaks to me of how You are always wanting to come closer to us . . . loving us AS we are and WHERE we are.

Ah, but God, I so often feel like the person in this photo. I am not opening the door. I am not stopping my busyness. Hm. In truth, I am avoiding You. Not because You are harsh and judgmental . . . but because I am harsh and judgmental. Mostly of my own dear self.

Our beloved oldest daughter is here for Christmas and we were talking of times and traumas past and she said to me, “Mom you were only 27! You were so young! How can you be so hard on yourself!”

Oh. 27? Yikes! That really is young. And her loving reminder really did help. I was young. And, perhaps, God, we as a species are still Very Young.

That is consoling. And, as we approach Christmas . . . I once again feel the gap between Your Love for us and our love for ourselves and each other. I am in need of consoling.

Somehow, I imagined I would be more grown up by now. Actually, I thought I was grown up at 17.

How foolish! I still have miles to go and hopefully years to go — on this amazing journey. So, thank You for Your comforting and consoling love. After all, I am still so very young.

 

 

 

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